SWRPF Archive NJO Purges II: The Bigshots Strike Back

((I forgot to mention...any damages done to my ship shall be paid out in full by those responsible))

 

((Gotcha, Drake. I'll have Twin 3 write you a check ))

 

((LOL!))

 

[Sends telephathic message to Drake]

GAH! Tiger, I'm bored! I need something to do.....

Look at this. Look at this! I've been reverted to taking target practice on anyone who happends to walk by my office.



Oh geez...SORRY ABOUT THAT OFFICER!!! Here, I'll take you to the med ward...

 

Don't worry about it if you kill any of them...they're Nolan's officers.

 

FINE!!!
(j/k)

Um...ignore this, please

 

...

 

((now you'll have to ignore this one too! Hmm..maybe I can make it more productive.))

*TSL continues to wonder about the corridors of the massive ship, tripping on her robes as she goes. She hums something that sounds suspiciously like "The Yellow Submarine" as she goes.*

"We all live in the Yellow Submarine..."

 

No no no...it's "We all live in a yellow bouancy-controlled ballast tank and hull..."

 

*Force Poke to Drake!!!*

How about: We all live in a Yellow SSD!"

 

Ow! Don't be pokin me...

((Well what do you know! We're turning into a chat thread again!))

 

((Well what do you know! We're turning into a chat thread again!))

*A sudden stab of fear pierces TSL's heart as she recalls past horrors... She immediatly cuts off the Force connection with Drake and makes her way back to her quarters for a spot of meditation (and some apple slices).*

 

*continues to kneel beside JM, trying to get her to speak*

 

((We're turning into a chat thread again... Go on, Drake, report us. Plleeeeeease... ))

*meanwhile, on Legobas*

[Wyld follows Soda into his 'house', a mud hole with no carpets, no shower, and actually, no bathroom at all to speak of]

Wyld: I have got to get off this planet now...

Soda: Patience, you must learn patience!

Wyld: [Gets Soda in a force grip] Lookie here, i know that my mandate is NJO character purges, but for YOU, i could make an exception...[shuts off Soda's throat, the lil' green booger dies, his body disappearing almost instantly] Well, that was highly satisfying...Now, to get out of this joint and find the Apocalypse. [Turns around and whacks her head off a ceiling beam] Stang!!!!!!!!!!!
[wanders through the house in search of fuel, rubbing her head]

 

*trying to get ahold of herself, but failing miserably*

JM: geonosis. i saw geonosis. it was just a flash, but it brought back so many things i tried to forget. she died there....

Drake: who?

JM: my padawan. neelah. she died in my arms and i couldn't do a thing about it. i guess i've never forgiven myself for letting her down.

 

[D'Rewan bursts into his sanctum with Kedri trailing after--Scorsa is in D'Rewan's chair]
D'R: General!
Sc (falling out of her chair): MILORD!
D'R: I just gave a new speech.
Sc: And?
D'R: The people are sick and tired of being dominated by the carbonite guild. They need liberation. Especially the Merchants...
Sc: You're head of the Merchant Guild.
D'R: Yes.
Sc: Which means that you can help the people gain self rule--and they KNOW that...
D'R: YES.
Sc (figuring it out): BUT you're going to convince them that they will be free under your rule!
D'R: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!
Sc: What about the Carbonite Guild?
D'R: I told the people they must be controlled by an elected Minister.
Sc: Like (pretends to think) ME?
D'R: Like (mocks her thinking) you.
Sc: Who can grant you emergency powers when the Yuuzhan Vong become a serious threat...
D'R: And allow be to become ruler of the TETAN EMPIRE!!!!
[Both cackle maniacally]

~Lord D'Rewan

 

[En route to Kirrek to announce the election of Scorsa as Minister]
D'R: Kedri...
K: Yes, milord?
D'R: Do you have the genetic template I ordered?
K: Yes, milord. Far ahead of you. In fact we already cloned her.
[He holds up a holocube which displays Neelah]
D'R: Excellent.

 

((oh, nolan, you did not just do that. you're about to see this "Kleines Kätzchen" unleash her "Klauen des Todes" ))

 

*keeps rambling*

it was supposed to be easy. go in, get obi-wan, leave. but when we got there...they had battle droids. new ones. ones we'd never seen before. and wraiths. the wraiths were there too. i think that's what killed her. i remember seeing her go down and a shadow. why couldn't i save her?!

 

One hour later, on Kirrek, the Carbonite Guild had been placed under the personal protection of Minister Scorsa's guard and disbanded "for the duration of the emergency." She then signed the bill authorizing D'Rewan's use of emergency powers.
Within a week, the war machine had grown, the domestic front was eager, and by the time of D'Rewan's Imperial Coronation the public was estatic.
To commemorate the event, the Nova-Colossus was launched into hyperspace on
a collision vector with the Apocalpyse... a new Sith War was imminent...

~Emperor D'Rewan

 

The week that we missed involved:

- JM rambled for almost a whole day
- Drake had to listen to her that whole time
- Nakita woke up but then got bored out of her mind and went back to sleep again
- the Krayts, Twin Suns and GI continued the bar fight for several hours until security came and arrested the rowdy patrons
- an hour later Drake let them out on bail
- TSL attempted to order a crate of apple slices but got lost in the alien translation and inadvertantly ordered 200 tons of banana peels

 

((it wasn't the whole day. just most of it. ))

((and of course, drake, being a guy, completely ignored everything i said, noddin every once-in-awhile feigning interest and concern. ))

 

((you forgot...)

--TSL became violently ill from attempting to munch banana peels. She then recieved a severe thrashing from JM and Nakita for trying to feed them to Nakita...

 

((you tried to feed my krel bananas?! no wonder she was sick. ))

 

*on legobas*

[wyld enters a room in Soda's mudhole and finds a horde of advanced technology within]

Hmmm, strange. For a hermit he sure had a lot of gadgets...

[She inspects some cannisters and finds some fuel. About to haul it away (carefully so as not to chip her nails), she notices a rusty R2 unit behind them] Hmmmmmm, that might be worth something...And could pay for that paint job on my x-wing. [she taps the droid on the head and its eyes blink on]

R2: beeeeeep bepppp bbbeeeep bleeerp....

Wyld: Hmmm, yes, indeed.

[the r2 unit rolls into the centre of the room, and a holoimage is projected in front of Wyld]

Image: If anyone finds this, my name is Pwoe. My ship crash landed on this planet and I've been taken prisoner by a strange creature named Soda. Please help me. He's holding me in the... [message blinks off]

Wyld: Stang! And Auto wouldve been so pleased if I killed him too. Ah well, no sense looking for him, he'll just starve to death if i've killed the guy who feeds him...[chuckles to herself, takes the droid and the fuel cannisters to her x-wing and leaves the planet behind]