Saga No Sadder Grief [Vader, Post-A New Hope]

Title: No Sadder Grief
Author: K. M. Petravich
Rating: PG
Summary: Lord Vader learns the name of the man who destroyed the Death Star.
Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas. Thus, I don't own Star Wars. I'm sure you question this fact, but, really, it's true.
Note: For Luthe

"There is no sadder grief than that which lies at the bottom of a life that has been wrecked through deception"
-Lemuel K. Washburn



Space should be silent.

Vader doesn?t know silence any more. There hasn?t been silence for over a decade?almost two?always the constant sound of the machines that are keeping him almost alive. Not quite dead.

It seems wrong, somehow, that as he stands alone, looking out at the stars?I?m going to be the first one to visit them all!?that there?s the noise.

So loud.

?Lord Vader??

He doesn?t turn, doesn?t even acknowledge the interruption for a moment. Then, ?Yes??

She wouldn?t even recognize my voice, if she were still here. The thought is slammed away sharply. The past should not be troubling him like it is. He is beyond that life. He is beyond those thoughts.

?Our intelligence has sent in the information they gathered on the destruction of the Death Star.?

Credit must be given to the young man before him. His voice barely shakes as he hands the datapad over, and, when Vader indicates his dismissal, he manages not to run.

The information is dull. A list of pilots who died. The damage caused to the TIEs. Enemies who were killed. Two who were captured, one of whom had taken his own life, the other who was not likely to regain consciousness.

?The shot that actually destroyed the Death Star was fired by a young pilot, believed to have been involved in the rescue of Princess Leia Organa, the former Senator of Alderaan...?

For the first time in nearly twenty years, Vader is unaware of the sound of the machinery, the sound of his breath, the constant burn, both within and without, as he stares at the name that follows.

Impossible. There must, certainly, be more beings of that name somewhere in the galaxy.

It is not possible, either, for his heart to skip a beat. But it may come close to doing so as he reads the file attached.

Tatooine. And the age is...absolutely perfect.

It cannot be. Remembers, against his will, waking after the fire, after the burning, after the melting, and destroying a room. Remembers being told that an angel had been murdered. Remembers being told he was the killer.

Remembers that no one had ever, actually, said that the child had died, too.

Involved in the rescue of the Princess...Kenobi.

Obi-Wan had known.

Obi-Wan had been there. Obi-Wan had hidden his son?You?re going to be a father, Ani, and his eyes had widened in something like terror before pure joy had replaced it. So what if attachment wasn?t allowed? So what if someone found out? Even the Jedi wouldn?t deny him this, they couldn?t?from him in the one place he should have suspected for 18 years.

The one place he would never have gone back to.

At her request. The thought is not his own. One filled with sorrow, and begging for forgiveness, begging for so many things.

No. She wouldn?t have. He refuses to believe this, fists clenching, the datapad crumpling. ?Old man,? in between the louder than normal sounds of his breath, between gasps of pain, ?be glad I killed you before I discovered this.?

There is no answer.

Space should be silent.

But there are sounds. The sound of a machine working, of laboured breathing, of a not-quite-man slamming his fist into the wall.

And somewhere, someone cries.

 

Very, very good! Hope you write more!
Thanks!

 

Very moving. Excellent piece.

 

i liked this vader fics are always good

 

A very nice story.

 

Great insight into the moment and the use of 'sound'.. really great fic, one of the best I've read on the topic

 

A really deep fic! It was really clever how you showed the connection between the Jedi Code and Kenobi's play in all this... that was a connection that I never caught on to! And I agree that your use of sound is great too... a machine like him can't be silent anymore and that's really evident here.

Obi-Wan had hidden his son?You?re going to be a father, Ani, and his eyes had widened in something like terror before pure joy had replaced it. So what if attachment wasn?t allowed? So what if someone found out? Even the Jedi wouldn?t deny him this, they couldn?t?from him in the one place he should have suspected for 18 years.

That cut-in was really, really clever. I loved how you connected the past and the present like that, really emphasizes the angst in Vader.

 

Great. That's all I can say.

 

That was really good.

 

this is really great, you know. I think I'll just go on an author kick and find all your stories.

 

Wonderful vignette!!

 

GREAT viggie, chaos_pockets!

It is not possible, either, for his heart to skip a beat. But it may come close to doing so as he reads the file attached.

Wonderful description of Vader's POV - the awareness, heightened senses. I agree with your other readers that the way you use sound and feeling puts us right behind Vader's mask.

Very well done!! Please ... write more stories!

ojn