Beyond - Legends No Such Word (J/J, post-LOTF, one-shot, humor) repost

Title: No Such Word
Genre: Humor
Notes: At the request of Nyota's Heart, I'm reposting one of my J/J fics. This was nominated for an award in Humor in 2011.

For a Solo, there was no such word as “vacation.” Jaina fully attributed blame to her father’s side this time. Skywalkers knew how to vacation. They did it with flare. Just after Caedus’s defeat—that was who had been defeated—Luke had convinced Jaina to accompany him and Ben to Tattooine. It had been one of the most relaxing experiences Jaina could remember. She sunbathed. She shopped. Needless to say, she slept. The trip went off without a hitch. She had a heart-to-heart with Luke, and she beat Ben at sabacc on numerous occasions.

No, Jaina placed her apparent inability to vacation solely on her father’s shoulders. How many years had she spent defending him, declaring that the loss of family time was her mother’s fault—when the problem so obviously lay in Han Solo? He just didn’t know when to stop. Rather like his daughter.

Also like his daughter, he had a score to settle with a Fel.

Jag didn’t look up when the lieutenant approached, keeping his eyes locked on the holomap of Bastion’s capital, which he held out at arms length. They were standing in the middle of the capital’s plaza, trying to reaffirm their sense of direction.

“What did I tell you? No interruptions.”

Amelia, grasping Jaina’s right hand, giggled at the lieutenant’s expression. Jaina readjusted the basket she was carrying in her other hand.

“You should know, sir—”

“I don’t care,” Jag said. If it wasn’t enough that he seemingly couldn’t find the place he had planned on taking Jaina, the arrival of the lieutenant must have unnerved him.

“But sir—”

“Is it a planetary threat?”

The lieutenant hesitated. “It may well be.”

Clearly, Jag hadn’t anticipated this, but Jaina knew better.

“What happened?” Jag asked tiredly.

Jaina plucked the image from the man’s brain. She saw her father, peeved, tapping his foot in an imperial cell.

“You didn’t,” she crowed.

“Han Solo engaged in a…brawl with a highly esteemed imperial officer.”

Jag scowled. “Why am I not surprised?”

They followed the officer. Thankfully, he seemed to have a better sense of direction than Jag.

“It’s not my fault,” Jag protested, when she jabbed him. “I’m still new here.”

“I thought you had an internalized compass.”

“In space.”

“I’m so sure.”

He sighed. “Can I carry that basket for you?”

“You’re such a gentleman.” She grinned at him. “But you’ll look like a girl. It’s a picnic basket.”

Jag was tired of arguing, so he picked Amelia up instead, holding her on his right, while he pressed his left palm against Jaina’s.

“I have an ulterior motive,” he explained.

Jaina was glad, but their time was short, and that made her angry. She decided to take it out on her father. When they arrived at the detention area, her brows had set in grim determination. Still holding her hand, Jag let Amelia down and flashed his ID at the desk attendant.

“We’re here for Solo,” Jag said.

“Would you like the other released, too?”

Jag’s brows rose. “Not until I get a look at him.”

The attendant frowned, confused.

Jag pulled Jaina with him, along the cell blocks, until they came to Han Solo’s cell. Jag punched his clearance code, the cell door slid open—and Jag froze in place. Amelia bounded forward gleefully into Han’s arms. The other offender sat begrudgingly next to Jaina’s father, insignia’d with jet-colored hair, a distinguished looking goatee, and an eye patch over one eye. But Jaina had a one-track mind, and she narrowed in on her father.

“Dad,” Jaina and Jag said together.

Han grinned sheepishly. Soontir inclined his head.

“What were you thinking?” Jaina and Jag asked.

“You’re not happy to see me?” Han and Soontir whined.

“Just wait until I tell Mom,” Jaina and Jag replied.

“This isn’t how I imagined our reunion,” Jag added. “Why did you have to provoke him?”

Han scowled. “Who says I was provoked?”

Jaina put her hands on her hips. “Don’t be such a child.” She jerked her head towards Amelia. “A six-year-old is more mature than you are.”

Soontir frowned, as if affronted by this statement—true as it might have been.

“Is that any way to talk to your dear old dad?” Han asked. Soontir nodded. Jaina imagined he might have asked the same question, with fancier words.

“Can’t handle the truth?”

Han set Amelia down and crossed his arms. “No. As a matter of fact, I can’t.”

“I’m supposed to be on vacation, Dad. I’m sure there’s a reason Mom decided to go to the ladies’ spa. No comments.”

Jag’s posture mirrored Han’s, but he looked to his own father. “I suppose you’ll want to be released, as well?”

Soontir nodded. “You suppose correctly.”

Jaina wasn’t done venting. “Insufferable old man!”

Jag tugged gently on Jaina’s arm, gesturing the company out of the cell. “Can I trust the two of you to make it back to my apartment in one piece, or do I have to assign you an escort?”

“Amelia will escort them,” Jaina said. She narrowed her eyes at the older men. “There will be no throwing punches with her around.”

Jaina paused again. “Dad. Where’s Meewhal?”

Han muttered something about a trash compactor.

Jag and Jaina watched them go. A long silence descended between the two.

“Sorry,” they said together.

Jag’s brows rose. “What are you sorry for?”

“My dad ruined our vacation.”

“Not the whole vacation.” He pointed to the basket in Jaina’s left hand. “There’s still time for a picnic. Besides, I would have liked you to meet my father under better circumstances.”

“Considering how much they hate each other, I think that was the best we could ever hope for.”

Jag squeezed her hand. “Don’t look so grim.”

“Oh, look who’s talking.”


But she couldn’t help it. For a Solo, there was no such word as “vacation.”

 

Perfect characterizations for everyone

 

Oh that's just brilliant.

 

Ba-ha, I love it!

 

I surely can see this one happening between Han and Soontir --- I love that Amelia will be their escort to keep them from fighting -- well done on Jaina's part.