Saga Not A Sound--an ANH Leia introspection--Response to the JC Title Challenge

They're waiting for me to scream.

The Empire, and Vader in particular, are fascinated by grotesque displays of terror. Before I dared to do anything more about the Empire than hate it, I watched a recording of Vader's troops carrying out purges on Makarel. He did nothing to join in, only stood by as if he were indifferent to their suffering.

Anyone who saw that recording is familiar with the half-alive, lazy respirations of the monster who ordered that massacre. They would think that he simply didn't care about the people he had ordered to their deaths for something as simply treasonous as harboring fugitives.

I had seen enough recordings of him, however, to recognize that his breathing was quickened during the purges.

He was horribly and inexcusably thrilled by the carnage.

It was the same when he accompanied an interrogation unit into my cell and watched me bite through my tongue to keep myself from howling out the answers to his questions. When I was thrashing under the influence of the mind-drugs that he had commanded to be pumped through my veins, when my skin twitched and blistered under the fire-knives, he was watching with the same eager glee of a man watching a sports championship.

But I would not let him hear me scream. I would not give him the satisfaction of my pleas.

Today, he heard me beg for mercy, but it seemed to give him no pleasure. I took an absurd kind of refuge in him, simply because he seems to have limits. He has been known to show clemency for the strangest things.

Tarkin has never displayed that kind of restraint.

When words became useless, however, Vader was the one to keep my shoulder in a vise-like grip and his breathing quickened. Not because he yearned for the absolute destruction of an adversary as he believed my erstwhile Alderaan to be, but because he was anticipating the moment when I would break.

Instead, I let my silence condemn them all because, while I feel broken, the weight of this burden has not crushed my anguish from my vocal chords.

And it will not. With each passing hour, the burden does not lift, but my heart becomes accustomed to it. It acknowledges the full bearing of that weight, but that I must learn how to be strong enough to endure it.

When I find the strength to carry this burden, there will be no reason to give Vader the screams that he craves.

So, for Alderaan, I will make not a sound.

 

Very good piece. Poor Leia, always trying to be strong, even in the face of such evil.

 

I really admire Leia's strength and determination.

Nice job on this

 

I let my silence condemn them all because, while I feel broken, the weight of this burden has not crushed my anguish from my vocal chords.

Leia never let Vader or Tarkin see her real emotions (well, except anger).

I really liked it.

 

Thanks, Liesl. Glad you enjoyed.

This vignette was inspired by the difference between her with Tarkin and, in ESB, her way of dealing with Vader in the carbonite scene. Thanks!

Yeah, she always feels the need to be strong.

 

DarthIshtar, this is an interesting look into Leia's mind during her captivity on the Death Star. I always wondered why Luke was so crushed by Obi-wan's death and Leia seemed to immediately recover from the destruction of her planet and the death of her family.

These lines stood out:

He has been known to show clemency for the strangest things.

Tarkin has never displayed that kind of restraint.

 

Thanks for the comments on that. The entire idea is based on something a therapist told me about people hardwiring their brains to deny all existence of pain. It's a very common coping mechanism and I figured that, since she has such a proclivity for being eloquent, she would have to keep her grief silent due to this hard-wiring.

 

Oh Leia.......
I'm glad to be reading some good fanfic again, because I wandered into a shady website where Anakin was pregnant with Obi Wan's baby, and I came running back over here for some delicious, truthful and possible stories.

And lookie, here I found a brilliant piece of Leia introspection. I think you captured her perfectly, Ish. I could hear Carrie Fisher.

Great work.
-SE

 

I'm terrified to know where you read fanfic... Thanks for the kind words.

 

Poor Leia. Nice characterization and reasoning for her not screaming or crying loudly as Alderaan was destroyed.

Good job Ish.

 

very well written. Perfect Leia insight.Very talented

and I must saySolo-Everstar Anakin preggers with obi wan's baby. Good Grief. Whats the world coming to?

 

Oh, come on, it's not as bad as the one I read of Malfoy expecting Hagrid's baby. And thanks for liking the characterization. I'm very fond of this version of her.

Thanks, SoE, and good to see you around. ::Sniffs in loneliness.:: Glad you liked the reasoning.

 

Hagrid and Malfoy is much worse. Hagrid wouldn't stoop that low.

 

WOW, intense characterization!
sad, yet good fic

DM

 

Excellent characterization of Leia, Ish. An inner core roughly as strong as quantum armor, infinitely stronger than her 'father'. Very sad, too.

 

Glad it came out as that. It was what I was looking forward.

Thanks.

No, he wouldn't.

 

Instead, I let my silence condemn them all because, while I feel broken, the weight of this burden has not crushed my anguish from my vocal chords.

So, for Alderaan, I will make not a sound.



Very nice. There's nothing more to say there, it was very meaningful, well done Ish.