Before - Legends Not Anymore- KOTOR, DSF Revan/Carth

Title: Not Anymore
Author: DWH
Summary: Based on the cut DSF Revan ending, Carth comes back for her on the Star Forge.
Timeframe: KOTOR
Notes: This story was written to go with my entry to the July Fan art challenge. The picture will appear at the end of the story.


Revan stormed through the Star Forge. She wasn't even sure where she was headed anymore. Surely she should be celebrating right now. With Malak dead and the Star Forge under her command, there was no possible way for the Republic to win. Victory was hers.

The thought of it, for some inexplicable reason, made her nauseous.

Stop it, she commanded herself, tugging at the hood of her cloak. They deserve this. For what they did, for what the Jedi did...

Blinking, she looked up. Right where she'd come in. The Ebon Hawk. The ship felt more like home to her than any other place in the galaxy. She paused, brushing some loose strands of dark hair from her face. So much dirtier, so many more burns and scars than when they'd first flown her out of Davik's estate.

So very much like herself.

?Revan.?

Startled, she turned her head to where the voice had come from. All emotion left her face as she schooled it into a well-worn mask. ?Carth. I don't know how you got here, but I can't say I'm surprised.?

?Listen to me,? he held his hands out defensively. ?You don't have to do this. You don't have to be this. I... I know you better than that.?

?Do you?? Revan laughed bitterly. ?I don't even know me well enough to know what I would or wouldn't do, flyboy. How could you possibly have any idea what I'm really like??

?I'm not blind,? he returned firmly. ?Look. I know the Jedi did something to you, something they had no right to do. But you're not a bad person. Just think of all the good you've done.?

?That so-called 'good' I've done was a lie,? she turned away and started walking towards the door. The last thing she needed to deal with right now was him, of all people.

?A lie?? His voice rang out with a joyless laugh. ?You know, Revan, maybe you're right. Maybe the Karalina I fell in love with doesn't exist- never existed. Is that what you want? A legacy of death and destruction??

?No.? Her voice was soft, but her fingers curled angrily. ?How dare you-?

?How dare I what?? Carth countered, walking towards her. ?How dare I ask you to face reality? To look the lie of your life in the face and accept it for what it is??

With a scream, she ignited her lightsaber and began to stride towards him.

?Revan.? This time, the voice belonged to Bastila, her new apprentice.

Revan stopped, but kept her blade pointed directly at Carth. ?What do you want, Bastila??

?Nothing in particular,? she replied mildly. ?Are you going to kill him now??

?Don't do this,? Carth shook his head. ?You don't have to do this.?

?Don't I?? She replied, her voice cracking. ?You know what I am, what I've done. I killed them, Carth. Jolee, Juhani, Mission, Zaalbar... all but Canderous, the droids...? she paused to take a deep breath. ?And you.?

?Look deep inside yourself, Revan,? Carth implored. ?I know it sounds crazy, but I know this isn't what you wanted.?

?Since when has the Republic cared about what I wanted?? she yelled. ?I didn't even have a choice as they ripped my memories from me and replaced them with a new personality. And what did they do? They told me I had to go on this quest. Destiny, they called it. Funny how 'destiny' works in your favour when you're the ones pulling all the strings.?

?I'm not the Republic,? Carth replied quietly. ?I'm not the Jedi, and I didn't do this to you. All I ever did was fall in love with you, Revan, and I'll be damned if I let that slip away from me because you can't handle your life.? He took a cautious step closer. ?I love you, Revan. Even now, even after everything that's happened, everything you've done. I don't know why, I only know that I do. And I didn't even think it was possible for me to love like

 

I love Carth fighting for the woman he loved



Though for a minute there, I was worried he wouldn't be able to get through to her.

It's just unfortunate they couldn't have flown off into a happy ending together.

Great response to the challenge

 

Great work with a conflicted Revan. You really took that cut ending and made it even better.

 

Very nicely done! I liked Bastila in particular, even though the story wasn't about her, you got her speech patterns down, and the mockery. And I liked Revan's uncertainty, how she says she is Revan, then she's not, then she doesn't know - I think it's realistic, that's how one would react if most of your original memories are gone. And Carth was very Carth, too (sorry, I can't explain it better than that).

 

?I know.? Carth didn't move. ?And I appreciate it. But I'm exactly where I want to be.?

Without another word, she flung her arms around him, saber deactivating even as she pulled him into a tight embrace. Their lips met, and for those few long seconds, the galaxy didn't seem like such a bad place after all. Reality came back to them, however, when the floor started to rumble beneath their boots.

?Last call for the Hawk, flyboy.?

?Wouldn't dream of it, beautiful.?

Wonderfully done, as always!

 

Kelia: This ending breaks my heart, but I love it. Glad you enjoyed!

SoA: Thank you! I'm glad I did the ending justice.

obaona: I get what you mean about Carth- his Carthiness is sometimes hard to explain, but is also why we love him. Thanks for reading!

MamaV: Thank you!