Before Not Dark Yet - Dylan Challenge Response - Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Jun 10, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: Not Dark Yet
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Notes: Written for the Bob Dylan challenge. My quote was ?It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.?



    Not Dark Yet


    Qui-Gon stared out at the plains stretched below them. His thoughts were troubled this evening, restless and anxious. It was a state he was not comfortable admitting to, much less indulging in. He faced the coming night with a determination to banish whatever snapped at his heels.

    He was aware of Obi-Wan coming to stand by his side, his presence in the Force a familiar point of serenity for Qui-Gon. Usually. ?You?re up early,? he noted as he watched the young man yawn widely. With relief, he noted that Obi-Wan did not seem unduly distressed or upset.

    They had reached the site where they set up camp late that morning and, exhausted, had fallen onto their sleeping mats with little consideration for its long-term comfort.

    ?There was a stick poking me,? Obi-Wan noted sleepily and rubbed his injured backside. He stretched and winced, reacting to muscles that should not have been sore but which ached nonetheless.

    ?We?ve had more luxurious quarters,? Qui-Gon agreed with a smile, though he remained troubled. ?But there?s some caf ready if you?d like some.?

    Obi-Wan?s expression brightened a bit at that and he nodded before trotting over to the fire and pouring himself a small cup. The Master smiled as he watched Obi-Wan wake up before his eyes. The young man usually required a healthy dose of caf in the morning and Qui-Gon always carried a small supply with him when he could. Whenever water was readily available, the Jedi could enjoy at least a cup of caf. Having once heard an old spacer say that morning was anytime you woke up, Qui-Gon thought it wise to have the brew ready for his Padawan. It appeared he had been correct, he mused with a smile.

    Giving a sigh of contentment, Obi-Wan opened his eyes wide and looked around. ?It?s not half bad here,? he observed. His face took on the golden glow of fire in the dwindling light of day.

    ?Not bad at all,? Qui-Gon said as he sat down beside the younger man. Then he gave him a look of concern. ?Did you have a dream while you slept, Padawan??

    Obi-Wan frowned in bewilderment, staring at his Master. ?No, Master. Why do you ask??

    Shrugging as if it made no difference, Qui-Gon began packing away the small remnants of their stay. ?Nothing,? he finally said. ?You just seemed?restless.?

    Restless. Quite a mild description for the tortured sounds that had come from the boy during his troubled sleep, the frantic motions. Qui-Gon had jumped up in alarm when Obi-Wan cried out for the first time, settling back down only when he realized that his Padawan was fast asleep and no danger lurked in the camp.

    Still, he had not been able to get back to sleep and so he had watched and listened as his Padawan battled whatever demons had visited him in his dreams. The young man had been in horrible pain, even if only in a place that did not exist, some place to which his nightmares had taken him.

    ?I don?t remember a dream, Master,? Obi-Wan finally said. Then he tilted his head and frowned thoughtfully. ?But my throat is sore, Master.? He glanced at Qui-Gon. ?Do you think I?m coming down with something??

    There was a shudder in the boy?s voice that made Qui-Gon smile. How he does hate to be sick. Obi-Wan had a deep-seated aversion to Healers and medicine in general, and usually preferred to tough it out when illness struck. Qui-Gon could not really lecture the boy about that fault, he admitted, since he shared it.

    ?No,? Qui-Gon replied as he put a quick, experienced hand on Obi-Wan?s forehead. ?No, you?re not getting sick.? And laughed at the relief on Obi-Wan?s face. He knew why the boy?s throat ached of course. He had cried out, long low cries of distress, and many times Qui-Gon had wondered that he had not woken himself up with the strength of it.

    The silence stretched out comfortably between them for a moment, each of them savoring the start of a n
  2. yodas_waiter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    star 3
    Wow! An excellent use of the excerpt and a chilling foreshadowing of things to come. I was worried that the excerpt was too short and/or uninspiring but you turned it in to something special. Well done! =D=
  3. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Wow, very well done. =D=

    I don't know why, but this is my favorite part:

    ?I don?t remember a dream, Master,? Obi-Wan finally said. Then he tilted his head and frowned thoughtfully. ?But my throat is sore, Master.? He glanced at Qui-Gon. ?Do you think I?m coming down with something??

    There was a shudder in the boy?s voice that made Qui-Gon smile. How he does hate to be sick. Obi-Wan had a deep-seated aversion to Healers and medicine in general, and usually preferred to tough it out when illness struck. Qui-Gon could not really lecture the boy about that fault, he admitted, since he shared it.

    ?No,? Qui-Gon replied as he put a quick, experienced hand on Obi-Wan?s forehead. ?No, you?re not getting sick.? And laughed at the relief on Obi-Wan?s face. He knew why the boy?s throat ached of course. He had cried out in the night, and many times Qui-Gon had wondered that he had not woken himself up with the strength of it.
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was rather humorous merging into sad as the dream unfolded.

    Good job.
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    That was just perfectly delightful. Pure unadulterated JA. No, even better!! [face_love]

    Any chance this turns into somehting more, please let me know. :D
  6. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Gorgeous, VL. I love how Qui-Gon was disconcerted, but didn't really let Obi-Wan know just how much he was. And the nondescript setting made it almost feel like they were on the edge of nowhere, on the verge of the darkness itself. I really love that song and this story fits the tone of it beautifully. =D= Fantastic.
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    That one was great. Humour about drinking caf and their shared dislike of healers and that serious part of the dream foreshadowing what is to come.
  8. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    *bbbbrrrr* how very chilling.

    I'm glad Qui-Gon was there to comfort Obi-Wan...but how eerie he felt the darkness was coming.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Nice. This story does make me wonder how prophetic Jedi are with the Force. I suppose many of them could have had inklings of something really bad might happen before Anakin went sour. And Obi-Wan would be right next to it, but still not be sure where the darkness was coming from until it was on top of him. Qui-Gon can only wonder.
  10. Maeti Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2007
    Yowza! That was amazing. I wasn't sure what I would find for the Dylan contest, but this was wonderful.

    =D=
  11. nickenobi-nz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 1
    Very cool! I love Obi-wan's dream. It does make me wonder how many of the other Jedi had a feeling that things were going to go so wrong.
  12. RX_Sith C&G Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2006
    star 5
    Qui-Gon is great in this, comforting Obi-Wan. I've always thought of him as a fatherly type in the Jedi ranks. Excellent story. =D=
  13. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    yodas_waiter The excerpt inspired me! I loved it!

    Alexis_Wingstar Thank you! [:D]

    dianethx So glad you enjoyed it! :)

    Healer_Leona I will, but that's not fair to release plot bunnies around me. [face_shame_on_you]

    LuvEwan I'm honored that you both read and enjoyed it. I admire your work so much, so your words mean even more. [face_blush]

    earlybird-obi-wan I find life is seldom just angst or humor, usually it blends the two so that we don't know whether to laugh or cry at times!

    KELIA It was a great challenge!

    ardavenport Vague hints, that's about all I think they'd get. Obviously Anakin took them by surprise! ;)

    Maeti Thank you.

    nickenobi-nz I thought maybe Qui-Gon would sense something only in relationship to Obi, a personal threat if you will.

    RX_Sith Thank you so much!




  14. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Awesome. Just brillant. =D=
  15. Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    ?It?s all around me,? the boy continued. ?I watch it start from me, I?m at the center of it ? or I am the center of it - and then it spreads? It spreads so far Master.? There was both awe and horror in Obi-Wan?s voice.

    I felt a chill run down my spine at that. You did a maervelous job at creating a somewhat fearful atmosphere as Obi esplained his dream.

    =D= Wonderful viggie. I loved it.
  16. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Very nice. At least Qui-Gon senses maybe the darkness is coming.

    =D=
  17. Blue_Lightsaber42 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2007
    star 4
    Nice. Really nice. Great job!
    =D= =D= =D=
  18. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Cole_Kenobi Thank you! :)

    Meredith_Kenobi So glad you liked it. [:D]

    Gkilkenny Just maybe... ;)

    Blue_Lightsaber42 Thanks for reading! :D

  19. cdmcc Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 24, 2005
    star 4
    Well Dylan is my hero so I can't let this one go!

    ?There?s darkness,? Obi-Wan said. ?I?m being swallowed up by it.?

    I really like that line=D=
  20. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    This is truly a well-written story -- subtle, yet foreboding to those of us familiar with Obi-Wan's future. Good job! =D= I have a question -- where can I find challenges? :confused: I'd be interested in looking at them, but don't know where to go.
  21. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    cdmcc Thank you! [:D]

    p_stotts Well by now you probably know where to find them! ;) But thank you for reading! :D
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