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Before - Legends Not His Father (Thoughtful Qui-Gon) Thanks for the Nomination!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ZaraValinor, Aug 14, 2006.

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  1. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    I?m not his father.

    This statement is not meant as a slight towards him, for if it had ever been possible to be anything like a father to Obi-Wan Kenobi, then I would have gladly claimed him. But that was not to happen. I am his Master, his mentor, a man commissioned to refine him into a weapon.

    For a weapon he?ll be.

    Whether it is his tongue or his lightsaber, he will wield both for the cause of the light. A means of severance of shadows and misbegotten deeds.

    At fourteen he has already left behind the things of childhood. When tears come, for they inevitably do, a father would brush them away, I tell him there is no time. When he has done well, exceptional, I cannot praise his good work, I must advance it. I cannot allow him to be less then anything greater than he is.

    I am harsh on him now so when the boy steps out into the galaxy he is not beaten on the way side. A father will protect, be there to stand against the darkness. I will not always be there.

    I instill in him everything that I am and cringe at the inadequacy. Though, I am not his father, I have a father?s love. Of course, it is difficult, for I lead him into the very things that all men shield their children from. I call him to not only face the darkness of his fears and that of this galaxy, but to fight them and stand as a guardian against those weaker then him.

    This path he has chosen.

    Instead of being his strength, I will give him mine.

    Instead of chasing his fears, I will give him the power to chase them.

    Instead of being his father, I will be his Master.

    I?m not his father, but he is my son.
     
  2. yuna_kenobi

    yuna_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 2006
    wow:eek:

    thats deep=D=

    awesome!!=D= =D=
     
  3. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2000
    I loved it! Utterly in character for Qui-Gon and illustrates his feelings perfectly. :) Well done!
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Gorgeous! And I could just hear Qui-Gon saying those words! [face_love]
     
  5. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    Very nice piece:D

    Qui-Gon knows the dangers they face every day
    so his son must be tough
    If this was real life I know most Fathers would
    not want their sons to have to do
    the things they do. But would have to show
    braveness when called upon.

    Brilliant=D=
     
  6. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Zara that was so wonderful! I really loved that piece and I do think Qui-Gon cherished Obi-Wan as the son he would never be able to have. =D==D= Well done!
     
  7. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    Bravo! Short but hits you hard. That was so deep and so perfectly Qui-Gon. Awesome work!
     
  8. Independence1776

    Independence1776 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2006
    I am his Master, his mentor, a man commissioned to refine him into a weapon.
    For a weapon he?ll be.
    Whether it is his tongue or his lightsaber, he will wield both for the cause of the light. A means of severance of shadows and misbegotten deeds.
    Yes, the Jedi are weapons, though it's hard to think of them that way most of the time.

    Instead of being his strength, I will give him mine.
    Instead of chasing his fears, I will give him the power to chase them.
    Instead of being his father, I will be his Master.
    I?m not his father, but he is my son.
    This, right here, is the best part of the fic. You show, with just these four lines, how Qui-Gon is training Obi-Wan to be one of the best Jedi of the Order. And you also show how very much Qui-Gon loves Obi-Wan.

    Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. =D=
     
  9. adawn

    adawn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2005
    That was absolutely fantastic and illustrated perfectly the strange line the Qui-gon has to walk with regards to Obi-wan.

    Well done. Indeed, I'm envious, it's so good.
     
  10. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    This is so touching.

    This path he has chosen.

    Instead of being his strength, I will give him mine.

    Instead of chasing his fears, I will give him the power to chase them.

    Instead of being his father, I will be his Master.

    I?m not his father, but he is my son.


    Bravo. =D=
     
  11. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    I can feel an ?Awwww?? coming; now that was just amazing, amazing and powerful.

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  12. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Just Fabulous!! Beautifully written and wonderfully insightful.


    My Favorite:

    Instead of being his strength, I will give him mine.

    Instead of chasing his fears, I will give him the power to chase them.

    Instead of being his father, I will be his Master.

    I?m not his father, but he is my son.



    Bravo! =D=
     
  13. Nemhain

    Nemhain Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2006
    Very insightful, and even provocative in places. I especially like that he considers Obi-Wan his son, despite not being his father.
     
  14. Lady_Padme_Organa

    Lady_Padme_Organa Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2006
    =D= =D=
    Brilliant!! That was beautiful!! I loved it, especially how Qui-Gon considers Obi-Wan the son he'll never have.
     
  15. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Zara, that was just splendid. Exactly how I see Qui-Gon Jinn. Still ever the Jedi and yet full of compassion. Beautiful piece.
     
  16. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Thanks everyone for reading. I appreciate your insights.
     
  17. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
  18. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Wow! Great job in using few words to great impact. =D=
     
  19. KILIK

    KILIK Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 21, 2005
    Deep Zaravery deep. That sounds like something Qui-Gon would say.

    Great job and well done. =D=
     
  20. Taraum

    Taraum Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2006
    That was an incredible story.
     
  21. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Instead of being his father, I will be his Master.

    I?m not his father, but he is my son.


    Aaaaaaah, these last two lines say so much with so few words. Very nice.
     
  22. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Wonderful insight into the Master/Padwan relationship. That attitude certainly makes sense since the Jedi were not supposed to form attachments.

    I?m not his father, but he is my son.

    That is probably true of all Masters.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  23. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Wow, this is really amazing. I?m not his father, but he is my son. I had shivers going down my spine. I love the dramatic way you write his thoughts and feelingsa. It's an interesting insight into the conflict he must be feeling.

    Awesome job!!! =D=
     
  24. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your comments. Big hug. [:D]
     
  25. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Just a gentle bump.
     
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