Before Not Myself (OWK/QGJ/OC's) - Complete - Replies, A/N, Links - 9/25/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by bek, Aug 17, 2007.

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  1. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Wow! The whole thing, but especially starting when the first hostage was killed - and no Jedi reaction. It just snowballed from there.

  2. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Wow!:eek: I hope your muse keeps on a roll! That was absolutely incredible. My heart is absolutely breaking for Obi-Wan!:_| Keep up the great work and by the way, I can take a hint! ;)
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    At least Obi-Wan is free of Nayt and so is his aunt. They will have a better life without him, no matter how much he loved them.

    Good job.
  4. Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2007
    star 1
    I was rather shocked the Jedi didn't react before innocent people were killed as well. :eek: Very moving ending. :( I guess in some twisted way Obi-Wan's uncle was doing what he felt was best for them. Too bad he learned too late how wrong he was.
  5. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    rough scene! obi-wan's got a lot to adjust to now that his various nemesises are dead...
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wow! What an intense chapter! :eek: So sad! :_| But bravo for incredible writing! =D=
  7. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Gkilkenny so sad and in the end Obi-Wan still had feelings for Nayt.

    He will be questioning this soon. [face_worried]

    Valairy_Scot The whole thing, but especially starting when the first hostage was killed - and no Jedi reaction.

    There was Jedi intervention, just not in the foreground. It?s a between the lines kind of thing that probably should have been told straight out. [face_plain] Nayt may have thought Traest killed her, but it wasn?t said exactly where she was shot. Sorry for the confusion. :(

    jedidas3 Wow! I hope your muse keeps on a roll! That was absolutely incredible.

    Thanks! :) My muse was sick for a couple of weeks; bronchitis and a sinus infection do not make for a happy muse. :(

    My heart is absolutely breaking for Obi-Wan!

    He?s safe now, but whether he accepts this new beginning is another matter.

    dianethx At least Obi-Wan is free of Nayt and so is his aunt. They will have a better life without him, no matter how much he loved them.

    My thoughts exactly! ;)

    Itachi-Uchiha I guess in some twisted way Obi-Wan's uncle was doing what he felt was best for them.

    He thought he was providing a better life. :(

    ratna Obi-Wan's got a lot to adjust to now that his various nemesis?s are dead.

    Yes, he does. He has to deal with a change in guardianship as well as a new life. :)

    VaderLVR64 What an intense chapter! So sad! But bravo for incredible writing!

    Thank you! :)


    Author?s Note: I apologize for the delay. My muse has been sick the last couple of weeks. Now that she?s feeling better, we can get on with the story. :)




    Chapter 8

    Jes waved her hand toward Qui-Gon in a gesture for him to come forward. When he knelt down beside her, she carefully pulled away from her nephew and with a glance toward the Jedi they began to loosen his hold on Nayt. The teens clenched hands did not easily let go. The two adults worked until they had him in a position to move him away from the shell that once housed his uncle. When realization sank in as to what was happening, Obi-Wan fought to get away from the hands that pulled him to his feet. Jes stepped away from the flailing arms that tried to push their owner away from anything that may entrap him.

    Having finally worked out some details with the local authorities Kale left Callen to finalize their plans while he jogged over to help with his son. When Kale passed by Jes, her eyes widened with joy; she now understood Obi-Wan?s words. Life had indeed changed, but whether her nephew could adapt was a question she could not answer. She watched as Kale took hold of his son?s arms and holding them gently but firmly stepped closer to the young man. He spoke quietly to the youth for some time before the teen finally nodded causing the two Jedi to release him.

    Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan by the arm and kindly tugged him toward the front doors. The teen stood still, his eyes once again going back to the lifeless body of his uncle. His jaw tightened and his eyes swirled between gray and blue; his emotions were chaotic and his thoughts were jumbled. He didn?t understand his own behavior. He felt the pull on his arm and gave in to the one who would lead him away from this life. He turned and without looking back, he walked away from the Lladnar.

    Jes waited patiently while Kale and Callen helped the authorities finish with those who were held hostage. Each person?s statement was taken before allowing him or her to return home. A Med Vehicle had just left with the young lady that Traest had so carelessly shot. Jes had been surprised when she learned that the young woman had survived. When the last of the witnesses had left, she watched Kale turn a circle in the middle of the foyer, his eyes taking in every area of the now empty space. When he turned toward her, she immediately walked over to him and without hesitating threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. She felt his arms quic
  8. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    :_|

    Well worth waiting for - and I get it re: the hostage. :oops:

    Hmm, I can see the Senate considering putting Obi-Wan on trial, somehow I don't quite think the Council would - but what they would do - ?

    A sigh escaped the young man, "A dry sense if any at all. I didn't exactly have the kind of life that allowed one to practice with it. I think sarcasm is more my forte."

    The force pulsed between them, the cord tying them together growing and strengthening. Obi-Wan looked at the Jedi Master once more, "You feel it, don't you?"

    The Jedi nodded.

    When Obi-Wan did not pursue an explanation, Qui-Gon left well enough alone. He was sure that if the boy wanted to know more about the bond, he would ask.

    "Knowing what you do about us, why are you helping us?"

    Taken back by the question, Qui-Gon watched the boy carefully thinking he should already know why they were helping him but replied anyway, "I don't know all of what you have done. But sometimes there are reasons people do things that they themselves don't or just refuse to see as justification for their actions. Sometimes people do what they have to in order to survive or to protect those closest to them."

    "So even if Master Kenobi wasn't my father, you would still try to help us?"

    Qui-Gon nodded, "Yes, we would."


    I think an outsider like Qui-Gon, as opposed to his father, will have the best chance of getting Obi-Wan to open up.


    When she reached that part, her narrative slowed and she pushed herself away mentally from all that had occurred in order to tell her brother-in-law of what his son's life had entailed. She told him of the rare happy moments and the harsh brutalities they both had endured. She explained that her nephew had a heart of gold that he only allowed her to see. The rest of the time he spent shut off from the world around him, not allowing himself to get too close to anyone because Traest and Nayt used anyone they could as leverage. They kept the teen afraid that anyone he could care about may get hurt because of something he did or didn't do. She explained that Obi-Wan was never afraid of his skills, and that he had never used them against any of them until that final day, when he threw Traest across the room without touching him.

    "There were so many times we could have just left, but my stubborn belief that the man I married was still in there somewhere stayed my hand. I?m so sorry I kept Obi-Wan in that mess; I should have put him first and gotten out of there, but?."

    Kale covered Jes's hand with his own. ?You did what you could with what you had. It?s easy to look back and think of everything we should have done, but when you?re in the situation it?s sometimes difficult to think from one moment to the next.?

    She looked at him with gratitude before saying, "Your lessons have always been deep within his heart, Kale; he acts on them without thinking. And yet he believes that he has abandoned them because of what he has been forced to do to survive." Jes looked into his eyes, ?I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish by taking him to the Jedi temple. But I can tell you that he will struggle to conform to a normal life."


    She was right, and so was Kale. He was very understanding, considering it was his son.
  9. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    You handled the complexities of the souls and relationships very well:

    Unfolding consequences of Obi-Wan's 7 traumatic years, and hints of the path he will need to follow to recover.

    Kale's feelings as a father.

    Jes' reflections on her marriage and how she tried to preserve some kind of love or memory of love when things went so horribly south. (I thought you did that very well, prose was spare but conveyed the ambivalence and regrets.)

    Inklings of the Force working to bring Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan together.

    =D= =D= =D=

    Great post! And thanks for the PM!!
  10. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Wow. That is a killer of a last line, very omnimous! I enjoyed this chapter very much indeed! Obi-wan has some serious problems it seems, only time and TLC can heal. But it doesn't sound like his future is secure yet, I hope he makes it through his trial okay. It's very neat to see Obi-wan and Qui-gon forming a bond, you would think he and his father would be sharing a bond? But interesting indeed! I can't wait for more! PM list, please. :)
  11. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That sounds like they have a long way to go in order to get Obi-Wan to understand where he's been and where he's going.

    Good job with hostage and explanations.

    Loved this. It's a great description of Obi at this point.

    "He's not sure how to approach you. It's been seven years since he?s been in your care. He believes that you still see him as the child you remember when in fact he is the farthest thing from it. You're going to have to take it moment by moment with him. His moods change from one minute to the next without warning and he is very good as closing people out, especially if that person touches on a sore spot. His gaze can be warm and caring and then turn to ice in the blink of an eye. If there is one thing I remember about you, it is your enduring patience. You'll both need it."

    "I've already witnessed his smart mouth, his annoying bouts of bitter sarcasm, and how he tenses every time someone walks into the same room." Still holding her hand from some moments before, he squeezed it gently, "I want you to know that I don't blame you for any of this. I do; however, blame Nayt for allowing that criminal into all of your lives."

    Jes smiled sadly at him, "The things you mentioned about Obi-Wan are just the tip of the iceberg."


    A long, long road.
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    So beautiful! :_| [face_love]

    "I've already witnessed his smart mouth, his annoying bouts of bitter sarcasm, and how he tenses every time someone walks into the same room." Still holding her hand from some moments before, he squeezed it gently, "I want you to know that I don't blame you for any of this. I do; however, blame Nayt for allowing that criminal into all of your lives."

    Jes smiled sadly at him, "The things you mentioned about Obi-Wan are just the tip of the iceberg."


    Wow. Just...wow. =D=
  13. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    :eek: :eek: Oh wow! So much angst and despair in this last line!

    "I've already witnessed his smart mouth, his annoying bouts of bitter sarcasm, and how he tenses every time someone walks into the same room." Still holding her hand from some moments before, he squeezed it gently, "I want you to know that I don't blame you for any of this. I do; however, blame Nayt for allowing that criminal into all of your lives."

    Jes smiled sadly at him, "The things you mentioned about Obi-Wan are just the tip of the iceberg."

    :_|

    I also loved the talk between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. It was very well done. You are doing such a wonderful job with this story and I am anxiously waiting for the next part!

    (I'm glad that your muse is feeling better!)
  14. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    Wow I am so glad I found this story! Very beautiful! I can't wait to see how it ends!
  15. Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2007
    star 1
    I'm glad Obi-Wan has someone he can open up to. Even if it is Qui.;) Kidding! I hope the Jedi can make the Council see things their way.
  16. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Excellent post=D=
    Luckily Jes could tell them about Obi-Wans growing years, and the pain
    and suffering he has endured.
    Hopefully with Qui-Gon and kale on Obi-wans side, he should get a chance to redeem himself.

    Thanks for the PM.:D
  17. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot I think an outsider like Qui-Gon, as opposed to his father, will have the best chance of getting Obi-Wan to open up.

    Obi-Wan and Kale will have a rough go of it for a while. :)

    ratna You handled the complexities of the souls and relationships very well.

    Thank you. :) I thought their thoughts and feelings needed to be shared but didn?t see the need to go into detail or a long back-story. I'm glad it came across well.

    Cole_Kenobi Obi-wan has some serious problems it seems, only time and TLC can heal.

    His first few days/weeks in his new environment will be a bit of a shock, and he'll be treading carefully.

    But it doesn't sound like his future is secure yet.

    His future has yet to be decided. [face_thinking]

    It's very neat to see Obi-wan and Qui-gon forming a bond, but you would think he and his father would be sharing a bond?

    He and Kale do share a bond, but with things the way they are and Obi-Wan's hesitation and reluctance to trust this new situation and the lingering hurt from being lied to about his father's life?there will be an adjustment period. Some calm moments mixed with some light storms. ;)

    But interesting indeed! I can't wait for more! PM list, please.

    Thank you! :) And you've been added to the PM list.

    dianethx That sounds like they have a long way to go in order to get Obi-Wan to understand where he's been and where he's going.

    He will be a mess emotionally/behaviorally for a while until he figures out where he fits into this new life he's been uncharacteristically thrown into. [face_plain]

    Good job with hostage and explanations.

    Thanks! :) Any chance of Betrayal being updated soon? [face_batting] [face_praying]

    VaderLVR64 So beautiful!

    Thank you! :)

    jedidas3 I also loved the talk between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. It was very well done.

    Thanks! :)

    You are doing such a wonderful job with this story and I am anxiously waiting for the next part!

    Sorry for the delay! :( Life has been a bit hectic lately.

    Master_Tigris_Leigh Wow I am so glad I found this story! Very beautiful! I can't wait to see how it ends!

    Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. :)

    Itachi-Uchiha I hope the Jedi can make the Council see things their way.

    The Council is in for a treat; three rogues who intend on getting their way! ;)

    Gkilkenny Hopefully with Qui-Gon and kale on Obi-wans side, he should get a chance to redeem himself.

    The chance has arisen, but will he take it? [face_thinking]




    Chapter 9


    The following few days found Obi-Wan doing various exercises the healer had assigned him as a follow-up to his treatment; although he hated being in bacta, he felt grateful to look in the mirror and not see the scars from previous 'rewards'. He didn't think he could ever again hear that word and apply it in the context it was originally designed for. He hadn't had much contact with the Jedi since he and Master Jinn spoke, but learned from his aunt that they were busy making arrangements and discussing what would take place once they landed on Coruscant.

    Many times Jes had, from a distance, watched Obi-Wan silently observe his father in one way or another. The young man would sit on the sidelines during Kale's meditations or stand in the shadows while his father spoke with the captain or his fellow Jedi or lean in the doorway while the older man prepared a simple meal. The teen had yet to speak with the Jedi but could sense that Kale knew he was there. Obi-Wan was thankful his father had not initiated conversations during these times or requested something from him that he was not yet ready to give. Instead, the older man had allowed his son to quietly watch, learn, and take inventory of those around him without pressuring him for more. The teen wasn't sure what to think of the new place he found himself in. No one ask
  18. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    This was great!!

    I loved the way it ended with reunion between Obi-Wan and his father's Padawan.

    I'm just a sucker for warm fuzzies...

    Thanks for pm!
  19. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oh, my, as good as the entire chapter is, I had tears in my eyes at this:

    Padawan? What does that mean? Obi-Wan thought, and then?

    "Mama! Daddy brought Reed!" The little boy ran toward the teen and jumped into the arms that awaited him. The older boy hugged him close. When he put him down, the little one grabbed his hand and led him into the house while asking question on top of question. Reed grinned and with patience belying his age answered each and every one to the best of his ability. When Obi-Wan finally ran out of questions, he spoke of his time at home and all the things he had learned in school and the ways he had helped mama around the house although most of the messes they cleaned up were made by him. He giggled at that and proceeded to question the young Jedi of his time aboard the freighter Obi-Wan so innocently thought he worked on with his father.

    Eyes widening in shock, disbelief, and finally joy, Obi-Wan whispered, "Reed?"

    When the elder nodded, Obi-Wan found himself walking forward and before he knew it he was caught up in a brotherly hug. Kale sat back in his chair and watched as his former apprentice was once again being regaled with questions from his son. He shook his head in amazement. Maybe?just maybe, not so much had changed after all.


    [:D] A memory that holds no pain, no conflict, no uncertainty.

    I loved Yoda with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon with Obi-Wan, absolutely loved Kale, the robe and blanket with Obi-Wan, but the end just jumped out at me.

    Great job!
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved how you let us see Obi-Wan's reluctance to accept that his life has changed around. He keeps backing away from the gifts being offered him, doesn't want to see the reality now.

    It was sweet how Reed brought out the happiness of his former life but I'm still worried about this...

    He could feel a sense of security wash over him, a sense of safety and belonging if only with the man sitting beside him. His father. He was still having difficulty believing that his father was here. He mentally shook his head to clear his thoughts; he couldn?t allow himself to become comfortable because being comfortable meant being disappointed by those who were supposed to care for you. He wasn't sure if he harbored the trust it would take to allow himself to let go and move on; but most of all, he was terrified that it would all just up and disappear leaving him in the neverending nightmare that had been his life. He viewed himself as damaged goods, a commodity that would soon lose its appeal. He couldn't understand why they wanted him; his aunt was different, she had lived through the same trials as he had but the Jedi and his father were worlds apart from the life he had known. They would soon find that he wasn't worth their time.

    Sounds like he has a long, hard road ahead of him. I also can't see the Jedi taking him in. He's way too old for training.

    Great job.

    As for Betrayal, I have to finish Attraction first and work on my kid's costume for Halloween. After that, Betrayal's the next thing I'm working on. It's been far too long, I know. I was working on several stories, some of which I posted here, one I could not.... sorry. [face_blush]
  21. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Wow! That was simply beautiful![face_love] I just love the way that you bring us into each of the characters so that we can actually feel what is happening between them. The way that you write Obi-Wan's reluctant acceptance of his new life is heartwrenching--and you know how I love angst!

    Superb job =D= and I can't wait for more!
  22. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Oh, this chapter is definatly my favorite so far! I loved the scene where Obi-wan is watching his father and Qui-gon spar. That last scene between Obi, his dad, and Reed just left me with that warm feeling, that everythings going to be alright. Gah, I just loved this chapter! The transitions were well done. Aha, Yoda is always a funny character to read, especially when you call him a little green garden gnome, haha. Cute part. Oh, there were such good touches, espically with the sunrise, the clothes and breakfast. Aha, good stuff. Thanks for this update, I greatly enjoyed it! Thanks for the PM! :D
  23. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    At least some things don't change Obi-Wan still has an appetite.

    When Obi-Wan?s stomach rumbled, the left side of Kale's lips lifted into a half smile. "Do you eat breakfast?"

    Obi-Wan startled and pushed his thoughts back in order to focus on the moment at hand. He looked at his father and nodded but then asked with a hint of remembered trepidation, "Are you cooking?"

    Kale chuckled and a blush rose to his cheeks, "Uh, that would be a no. If you remember I wasn't the best cook. Your mother used to forbid me to enter the kitchen unless I was eating what had already been prepared. Actually, I was thinking that we could order something from the refectory."

    The young man turned his head away and stared out into the traffic. "I miss her," his gaze was misty but no moisture escaped them.

    Kale nodded, his throat going tight at the thought of his wife, "So do I."



    Maybe Reed will bring them closer together.
    Excellent post as usual.=D=
  24. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Incredible update to an amazing story!


    Curious about the bond between them, Obi-Wan slowly found his way through it meeting Qui-Gon at his end.

    / What is this? /

    / A training bond /

    When silence met his answer, Qui-Gon continued to explain.

    / It is a bond that exists between a Jedi Master and his or her apprentice. It allows communication to varying degrees, insights, and emotions, to name a few of the benefits. It aids in making training more efficient. /

    / It's kind of like the one I share with Kale /

    / Yes, but the one you share with your father will forever be on a deeper level than this /

    / I don't want to do this. /

    / Yoda only asks to better understand. In order for things to go more smoothly in front of the Council, it's best for him to know what lies beneath /

    / So there are no surprises /

    Qui-Gon gave him a mental smile, / Exactly /


    =D=

  25. Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2007
    star 1
    This was a lovely post. :) I loved Yoda and Obi-Wan's interactions and the end where Obi and his father moved a step closer to letting go of the past was moving. =D=
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