Before Not Myself (OWK/QGJ/OC's) - Complete - Replies, A/N, Links - 9/25/9

Wow, I'm glad I found this story. You write very well!

*looks hopefully at the screen, mouse hovering over the 'refresh' button* You are going to post more soon, right?

~Silverfighter

Author's Note: I apologize for not posting replies at this time. I have read each and every one and will reply as soon as possible. I appreciate all of your reviews. I finally got this chapter completed; I hope you enjoy it.



Chapter 10

A week passed before the Council summoned the three mavericks to chamber. Kale, Qui-Gon, and Callen went first while Reed and Tahl sat with Obi-Wan and Jes in the waiting area. Discovering an exit to the left of the reception room, Obi-Wan walked out into the cool air and leaned against the duracreet balustrade that framed the large veranda. The past week had seen a lot of changes in his life and he wasn't quite sure how many more would come. He had already been reunited with his father and Reed and made a new friend of Master Jinn. The connection he felt with the latter was confusing and comforting all in one. He knew the reason for it was due to the bond that had developed between them, but the why of this development neither knew the answer to. He really didn?t expect to train as a Jedi and wasn't sure that he even had the desire to do so. A soft laugh echoed through the open doorway and he briefly smiled.

His aunt was doing well here. Master Tahl had become a good friend to her; the Jedi Master was someone Jes could speak to and feel comfortable divulging things about her past to that she didn't feel comfortable speaking of with the male soul healer they had provided for her. Jes had begun to come alive again, though he knew she still had a ways to go. He could still see the shadows within her eyes and hear the sorrow within her voice, but the sparkle that he remembered in her gaze ? so much like his mother's ? was beginning to return little by little.

He had wondered on more than one occasion this past week about what would become of them, though he spoke of it with no one. If anyone suspected where his thoughts lay no one mentioned it; though, Qui-Gon had reminded him on several different occasions to keep his focus on the present. Nervously he began to tap his fingers against the railing. Making an effort to make himself be still, he turned his attention onto the streets below in an attempt to steer his mind in another direction. Suddenly, he found himself thinking back to the Lladnar; his grip tightened around the banister and his jaw clenched. His gaze became distant as he once again relived the final moments of his uncle's death. A hand on his shoulder caused him to jump and he quickly shoved the offending object away. He tried to focus on the here and now, but the memory would not leave him be.

"Obi-Wan?"

The young man slowly shook his head and then closed his eyes. "I don't understand," he whispered.

Reed leaned in closer to hear him. "Don't understand what?" he asked softly.

"Why I didn't rejoice when he died," was the startling answer.

Reed said nothing; he stepped closer to his master's son and turning to lean back against the duracreet railing, he waited the teen out.

Looking down at the young one's hands, Reed noticed that Obi-Wan's knuckles had turned white. Brows creased in concern, Reed started to reach over to cover the teen's hand with his own in an attempt to comfort but rethought the gesture. Instead he stood close by, offering silent support.

"I hate him; I hate him for turning me into them." Opening his eyes, Obi-Wan looked at his father's padawan, "Why did I go to him? Why didn?t I just walk away?"

Reed didn?t know what to say. The raw pain he saw in the other's eyes was enough to silence him. He had read his former mentor's report of their mission and heard from the man himself of what had happened during the robbery and some of what had occurred in his friend's life, but he had yet to see a hint of the effects from the last seven years until this moment; he wasn't sure of what he should do.

"I don't know what to say, Obi-Wan. I wish I had the words that would make your world right again, but?I don't," Reed shrugged helplessly. When the look didn't abate in the younger man's eyes, he said the words th

grabs first post!!

Loved this as always. Your descriptions of the defense mechanism of vague memories, and of the difficult path of healing that lies ahead, were very well done.


For some reason, this little passage really affected me-- it's just so natural and real sounding.

Obi-Wan suddenly tensed and his eyes flew toward the doors that led back into the waiting room.

"What is it?" Reed asked.

"Qui-Gon's upset," was the slow reply.

Reed nodded, "I noticed earlier that you father was having a hard time keeping himself focused."

"I sensed it too. What does it mean?"

Reed shrugged helplessly, "Any number of things."


And the three friends are willing to leave the order for loyalty. Yes.

Excellent post.

Obi-Wan needs to settle down, and think calmly.

Looking forward to the next post.

I've been waiting for an update - yeah!

Looking down at the young one's hands, Reed noticed that Obi-Wan's knuckles had turned white. Brows creased in concern, Reed started to reach over to cover the teen's hand with his own in an attempt to comfort but rethought the gesture. Instead he stood close by, offering silent support.

"I hate him; I hate him for turning me into them." Opening his eyes, Obi-Wan looked at his father's padawan, "Why did I go to him? Why didn?t I just walk away?"

Reed didn?t know what to say. The raw pain he saw in the other's eyes was enough to silence him. He had read his former mentor's report of their mission and heard from the man himself of what had happened during the robbery and some of what had occurred in his friend's life, but he had yet to see a hint of the effects from the last seven years until this moment; he wasn't sure of what he should do.

"I don't know what to say, Obi-Wan. I wish I had the words that would make your world right again, but?I don't," Reed shrugged helplessly. When the look didn't abate in the younger man's eyes, he said the words that had crossed his mind a few moments before, "Perhaps?perhaps, a part of you still remembers the kind uncle he had once been. I didn?t get to visit often, but the times I saw him interact with you he had always behaved as if you were the apple of his eye. Maybe that is the part of him that you grieve for and not the monstrosity that greed turned him into."

Gee, I think I like that Reed just as much as the threesome.

Yoda knew! Wonder how the Council will address that issue, later of course.

I loved how confused Obi-Wan was about his love/hate relationship with his uncle. He needs to learn to let go and hopefully the Masters will be able to train him to do that. The Council seemed reasonable for a change. I wonder if Obi-Wan will make things worse with his nervousness.

Loved this.

"Xanatos allowed his pride and lust for power to direct his actions. He knew what he was doing and did it gladly. The crimes Obi-Wan committed were not of his own free will. He did what he had to do for his and Mrs. Kalar's survival," nearing the last of his patience with this topic, he finished with his voice a little louder than he intended, "There is not an ounce of comparison between them! When discussing Obi-Wan's future, you leave my last apprentice out of it!"

Kale placed a hand on his friend's arm, "If I thought for one moment that Qui-Gon wasn't capable of successfully training my son, I would not allow it. That in and of itself ends this debate."

I knew the Council would bring up Xanatos. At least, Qui-Gon handled it semi-well.

Good job.

I feel so sorry for Obi-Wan! So confused and torn.

Obi-Wan's eyes suddenly snapped up to meet Qui-Gon's before looking over to his father. The look of concern he gave the older men was met with reassuring smiles; the young man relaxed slightly.

"Obi-Wan, the Council would like to speak with you."

The young one looked at his father and then Reed and back to Kale, "Are any of you coming with me?" he asked.

"No. They wish for a private audience."

"I don't think so."

"Obi-Wan, the Chancellor has given the Jedi Order custody concerning the crimes against you. I'm afraid you have no choice, young one."

"I always have a choice," he defended, his voice hard as steel.

"Yes," Kale replied, "you do. You can run and always be looking over your shoulder because the Senate will reinstate their right to prosecute you or you can face the Council and answer their questions. You decide."

An invisible wall slammed down between them. Obi-Wan's gaze turned cold and he physically stepped back widening the distance between them. "Some choice," he answered sarcastically. Walking toward the door, he brushed past the Jedi Masters and entered the waiting area. When Callen saw him, he opened the door to the chamber. Obi-Wan looked at the opening and then he looked over at his aunt. When Jes smiled, he realized that she wasn't worried and that helped to calm his nerves. Rubbing his hands nervously on his pants to rid them of the perspiration that had abruptly appeared, he stepped through the doorway. Not sure of proper procedure, Obi-Wan stood near the entrance wearily watching the semi circle of masters.

So beautifully written!

"Would you rather someone who has ill intentions deceive him, luring him to do worse atrocities than what his uncle coerced him into or would you rather someone train him in the light side to use his skills wisely?"


That would convince me to keep him. ((grins))

~Silverfighter

Aha. I love Obi-wan's rougish demonor. And I love how all three of them would leave the Order over him, how sweet. I enjoyed how Obi-wan could tell Qui-gon was upset, and also how you went into Kale's emotions and feelings over force inhibitors and how he would extend his promise to his son. I greatly enjoyed this chapter, thank you very much for the PM!

Chapter 9 Replies


ratna I loved the way it ended with a reunion between Obi-Wan and his father's Padawan.

A reminder of simpler times as well as a distraction from Obi-Wan's past.

Thanks for pm!

You're welcome!

Valairy_Scot A memory that holds no pain, no conflict, no uncertainty.

Obi-Wan and Reed's times together, though few, were always happy moments.

dianethx Sounds like he has a long, hard road ahead of him. I also can't see the Jedi taking him in. He's way too old for training.

The Jedi Council won't be the rigid stiffs they were in cannon where Anakin was concerned; they will be fair, but they won't necessarily go easy on them. And yes, Obi-Wan is too old for training. However, his father has already taught him the basics that all initiates up to the time of choosing have learned. Obi-Wan was ten when he was separated from his father, just three years shy of Agricorp age if not chosen. And the skills he has learned on his own, even though he doesn't understand everything he has discovered, will go far in the Council's decision as to whether Obi-Wan will be accepted into the Order. And even then, it would depend on whether Obi-Wan wanted to be a Jedi. The Council will be keeping an eye on him and how he deals with everything.

jedidas3 I just love the way that you bring us into each of the characters so that we can actually feel what is happening between them. The way that you write Obi-Wan's reluctant acceptance of his new life is heart wrenching--and you know how I love angst!

Yes, you love angst! The things your Obi-Wan is facing right now makes our hearts hurt for him. [cough]Best Intentions[cough].

I very much enjoy fleshing out my characters, getting inside their heads and knowing what they are thinking and what motivates them. I think it is important to know where each person is in their journey, although, this story may deal more with Kale and Obi-Wan's relationship more so than fleshing out the others?I think.

Cole_Kenobi Oh, there were such good touches, espically with the sunrise, the clothes and breakfast.

A reminder of more simpler times and that everything in the past wasn't a bad experience. A little respite for Obi-Wan and Kale.

Gkilkenny Maybe Reed will bring them closer together.

Hopefully!

VaderLVR64 Incredible update to an amazing story!

Thanks!

Itachi-Uchiha I loved Yoda and Obi-Wan's interactions?

Even if Obi-Wan wasn't raised in the Jedi Temple, he will always have a special place in Yoda's heart.

?and the end where Obi and his father moved a step closer to letting go of the past was moving.

One step forward and two steps back.

silverfighter Wow, I'm glad I found this story. You write very well!

Welcome aboard! I'm glad your enjoying this fic. And thank you for your kind words.

Chapter 10 Replies



ratna Loved this as always. Your descriptions of the defense mechanism of vague memories, and of the difficult path of healing that lies ahead, were very well done.

Thanks! Now that he's in a place where the force is somewhat concentrated due to all the force- sensitive beings that live there, he'll notice more and more memories being unlocked.

And the three friends are willing to leave the order for loyalty. Yes.

All for one.

Gkilkenny Obi-Wan needs to settle down, and think calmly.

He would like nothing more than to be at peace.

Valairy_Scot I think I like that Reed just as much as the threesome.

I may be biased, but he's quickly becoming one of my favorites too!

Yoda knew! Wonder how the Council will address that issue, later of course.

Yoda, you've got some explaining to do! Or perhaps not!

dianethx The Council seemed reasonable for a change.

They're a bit more lenient in this AU. Obi-Wan didn't deserve to be treated as Anakin had been in cannon, although his future is a bit in the air right now.

I wonder if Obi-Wan will make things worse with his nervousness.

Hopefully he'll tamp down on his anxiety.

I knew the Council would bring up Xanatos. At least, Qui-Gon handled it semi-well.

With Obi-Wan's past not being peaches and cream, it was an issue that was bound to need some reassurance on the Council's behalf. Qui-Gon has had several years to deal with the aftermath. He had good friends, who wouldn't take no for an answer, to pull him through.

VaderLVR64 I feel so sorry for Obi-Wan! So confused and torn.

He has a good support system to help him; he only has to reach out and accept it.

silverfighter That would convince me to keep him.

It will definitely have an impact on the Council.

Cole_Kenobi I love Obi-wan's roguish demeanor.

He's a bit rough around the edges, but has a heart of gold.

And I love how all three of them would leave the Order over him, how sweet. I enjoyed how Obi-wan could tell Qui-Gon was upset, and also how you went into Kale's emotions and feelings over force inhibitors and how he would extend his promise to his son.

The bonds of friendship the three share are very important to each of them. And as for Kale's disgust with force inhibitors, he would be a rather difficult opponent to deal with if his son were to ever experience such a thing.

?thank you very much for the PM!

You're very welcome!

This is excellent! Very well done.

I really enjoy the Reed/ Obi-Wan interaction. It is very well done!
Poor Obi, he's really suffering here.
The council.... being reasonable? wow.
Hoping that nothing interferes with Obi training in the temple and beginning to recover.

wolf_kenobi This is excellent! Very well done. I really enjoy the Reed/ Obi-Wan interaction. It is very well done!

Thank you! I am enjoying writing their brotherly relationship.

Poor Obi, he's really suffering here.

He's a kid from an abusive home of sorts, emotionally and physically. He has been made to believe that he can be nothing but what they taught him to be.

The council.... being reasonable? wow.

This Council is not the one from cannon. They're going to think a little differently here.

Hoping that nothing interferes with Obi training in the temple and beginning to recover.

Hmmmm?



I hope everyone enjoys!

Chapter 11


"Come, young Kenobi," Yoda gestured toward the center of the room. Obi-Wan's gaze fastened onto the only Jedi within the room that he had had any previous encounter with. He walked slowly into the chamber and stood within the midst of the yellow circular design.

Standing tall, his shoulders back and his head held high, Obi-Wan was the perfect picture of calm. Some of the masters around the room nodded their approval while others studied him with uncertainty. The silence stretched throughout the room, neither side wanting to be the first to break it.

Obi-Wan knew how to play this game well; he held out until the council backed down. "Obi-Wan," Mace began, "The Jedi Order has accepted responsibility for you. The Senate has entrusted this Council with the liability to make the final ruling for the crimes that you have been accused of. We will call out each one; you are welcome to defend yourself. In fact, we encourage you to do so. Do you have any questions?"

"Only one."

Mace gestured for him to continue.

"Are you really interested in understanding the reasons behind what I have done or are you only entertaining me in a mock trial to appease those who would like to see me behind bars for the rest of my life?"

"Obi-Wan," Adi began, "This is not a trial. And yes, we are interested in hearing your side. The only side we have are those of the institutions, the authorities present and some of the witnesses. Although I must say that many of the witnesses have testified that you were present against your will. We have not called you here to pass judgment; we wish to help you in whatever way we can."

"That almost sounds believable," he whispered. The council, with the aid of the force, heard his words but remained silent.

"Do you have trouble trusting others?" Plo Koon asked.

Obi-Wan stared out the window just above Yoda's head, his eyes fixated on one point in order to block out the looks of disappointment or pity or disgust. "Yes."

"Why?" Mace asked.

"The people who were supposed to love and care for me taught me that I can believe in no one but myself. And with those teachings came supplements that no one should have to live with. If those closest to me would do that, why should I not be cautious of anyone who would want something from me?"

"Trust Master Jinn do you?" Yoda inquired, already knowing the answer.

Obi-Wan was silent for some time, pondering the question and his feelings on the matter. When he answered, his reply was slow in coming but confident in the words, "Yes, I do."

Yoda motioned for him to expand on his answer. "Master Jinn has been nothing but up front with me. When I first met him, I admit, I was weary of him. But after spending time with him, he has shown me that my faith in him is not misplaced. He has never asked anything of me," he paused a moment and then continued, "This bond is new to me. It allows me to sense his motives. I haven't sensed anything that was meant to harm me or to better his position in life."

"Your father, trust him do you?"

"My father," he repeated quietly. His emotions regarding Kale were mixed. On one hand he wanted nothing more than the relationship he and his father shared when he was younger but now, now he wondered if he could live under an authority figure that wanted nothing of him but

omg, Obi-Wan's memories of his mother are just heartbreaking!

What would she think of her little boy now?



Especially in the context of his feeling that her death was his fault. omg.


The things that Obi-Wan has experienced are so traumatic, to soul as much as to body, especially given what a fundamentally gentle, empathic and just soul he has. You show it well, both in his wariness of others and his pain at remembering his own actions. I also loved his memories of the special bond he shared with his aunt. Perhaps part of his healing vis a vis his uncle will include recognizing the wisdom behind his aunt's compassion for his uncle -- compassion that held even in face of actions that would call forth harsh judgement from most onlookers.

Wonderful, wonderful post. Great story all around. All your characters shine.

What Ratna said!

"I wanted to go to town that day," he began softly. "My father was due in that evening and I thought it would be better to stock up on supplies before he got home instead of spending half his first day home trying to shop just to restock the cabinets. I thought it would leave more time for him to spend with me."

He stepped back and sat down on the bench behind him. Running a hand over his face, he continued, "If I hadn't been selfish in wanting to make sure everything was done before he arrived, in wanting his time to be freed of responsibilities, we would never have been in that speeder; she would never have died."

Reed started forward to comfort his friend but was stopped by a hand on his arm. Turning his gaze to his left, he saw Kale standing just inside the door. Walking over to the youth on the bench, Kale knelt down in front of the boy and pulled his hands away from his face. Holding them firmly in a gentle grip, he began to massage the palms he held. The grief that lay just below the surface bubbled like a volcano ready to erupt. Obi-Wan's eyes rose to meet his father's, a mirror image of his own. Swallowing through a tight throat, he croaked out, "I'm sorry." The voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Leaning forward, Kale pulled his son into his embrace, wrapping him in strong arms. Obi-Wan tensed noticeably so, his posture was rigid, nearly unbendable.

Kale whispered four words and the volcano began to bubble over, "It wasn't your fault." A hitched breath and hands came up to tighten around Kale's back.

He repeated his words, "It wasn't your fault." Obi-Wan shook his head to indicate that Kale was wrong.

"You weren't there," his voice was thick with unshed tears. His face now buried in his father's shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," he repeated. "I will repeat those words to you every day until you believe them."

Were you trying to make me cry? Why do I feel a positive step forward has been taken - Obi-Wan realizes he trusts at least one person, and he now knows his father doesn't pass judgement on him.


I'm thrilled to get another update so soon - thank you.

Yay! I come back from the long weekend and get not just one, but two updates! I've been looking forward to these updates. I'm not sure where to begin. These posts are so filled with Obi angst. I absolutely loved it. His inablity to trust is so genuine of someone who has endured the hard life that he has.

The memories of his mother were absolutetly heartbreaking. This last line summed up his feelings so well.

What would she think of her little boy now?

You are doing such a beautiful job with this story! Please hurry with the next update.

Poor Obi!! His thoughts about his mother are just so painful!

Another exquisite post!

"'It wasn't your fault,' he repeated. 'I will repeat those words to you every day until you believe them.'"

That was so sweet!

You are a very good author. Your characters seem so real that I feel like I could reach out and touch them.

-Silverfighter

I think Obi-wan's mother would be proud of him. Let me explain, he's been through all these terrible ordeals, and yet he shows regret and he has not been transformed into some evil person that's engulfed in hatred but yet he is starting to open up and trust again. Which I'm very happy for this turn of events in the story. It seems Obi-wan is on his way to healing, having himself said he needed to devulge his secrets and deepest darkest regrets and now that he's done so and without anger or blame put upon him from his Father, he can finally move on. I just hope the Jedi Council is just as leniant, it seems that way since even the toughest cookie, Mace, recognized Obi-wan's regret. So yay! Can't wait for more! Awesome chatper, brllant story! Thanks for the PM, as always.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
poor Obi. (I think I am going to be saying that a lot throughout this fic)

Very excellent post. This really showed well much of what Obi-Wan has been through and how far he still needs to go. Obi-Wan's feeling that he can only depend on him self is totally understandable- but so sad!

I can see why Obi-Wan would trust Qui-Gon and not Kale. Kale wasn't there when Obi-Wan needed him, and he certainly holds some resentment towards him for that. However Qui-Gon just recently came in to Obi's life and he has done mostly everything Obi has needed from him.

Obi-Wan's feeling of responsibility for his mother's death is heartbreaking.

Poor Obi-Wan he has had such a painful life
lets hope Qui-Gon and his Father get the chance to help him.
He is carrying so much guilt.

Great story you are doing a wonderful job.

Poor kid. He really doesn't know what to think or how to act. He's learned not to trust anyone but Jes.

Obi-Wan's eyes rose to meet his father's, a mirror image of his own. Swallowing through a tight throat, he croaked out, "I'm sorry." The voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Leaning forward, Kale pulled his son into his embrace, wrapping him in strong arms. Obi-Wan tensed noticeably so, his posture was rigid, nearly unbendable.

Kale whispered four words and the volcano began to bubble over, "It wasn't your fault." A hitched breath and hands came up to tighten around Kale's back.

He repeated his words, "It wasn't your fault." Obi-Wan shook his head to indicate that Kale was wrong.

"You weren't there," his voice was thick with unshed tears. His face now buried in his father's shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," he repeated. "I will repeat those words to you every day until you believe them."


All that guilt for those years. It's a wonder he's as calm as he is.

Great job. Glad to see the muse is working.

Two great posts. I'm so glad the Senate decided to turn Obi-Wan over to the Jedi. And that the Council appears to have been surprisingly acceptive of Obi-Wan's existence. Obi has a long road ahead of him but he certainly has a strong support team behind him.

ratna Obi-Wan's memories of his mother are just heartbreaking! Especially in the context of his feeling that her death was his fault.

Perhaps part of his healing with his uncle will include recognizing the wisdom behind his aunt's compassion for his uncle -- compassion that held even in face of actions that would call forth harsh judgment from most onlookers.

He will have to come to terms with his mother's death before he can begin to accept his aunt's compassion toward his uncle. It's slow going, but it's going.

Valairy_Scot Why do I feel a positive step forward has been taken - Obi-Wan realizes he trusts at least one person, and he now knows his father doesn't pass judgment on him.

He's beginning to view Kale in a different way, but it will take a bit more for him to let down his guard.

jedidas3 His inability to trust is so genuine of someone who has endured the hard life that he has.

He's waiting for the disappointment that he feels is sure to come.

VaderLVR64 His thoughts about his mother are just so painful!

There's more to come.

silverfighter You are a very good author. Your characters seem so real that I feel like I could reach out and touch them.

Thank you!

Cole_Kenobi I think Obi-Wan's mother would be proud of him. Let me explain, he's been through all these terrible ordeals, and yet he shows regret and he has not been transformed into some evil person that's engulfed in hatred but yet he is starting to open up and trust again.

I think he would disagree with you on that. Although others see a change beginning to take place, Obi-Wan sees himself as a lost cause. He has yet to reconcile his past with a future of possibilities he's never had before.

Thanks for the PM, as always.

You're welcome!

wolf_kenobi I can see why Obi-Wan would trust Qui-Gon and not Kale. Kale wasn't there when Obi-Wan needed him, and he certainly holds some resentment towards him for that.

Obi-Wan has a love/hate relationship with his father right now. With all the changes taking place in his life, he hasn't really sat down to figure out just what he wants from this new situation, including what he wants from Kale.

Gkilkenny Poor Obi-Wan he has had such a painful life lets hope Qui-Gon and his Father get the chance to help him.

They're doing their best. Besides, they're too stubborn to give up!

dianethx He's learned not to trust anyone but Jes.

A behind the scenes implement is that Nayt moved them around frequently. Therefore, Obi-Wan didn't have a real chance to learn to trust anyone but Jes. People were constantly coming in and out of his life; he felt it was easier to just keep to himself rather than have the pain of attaching himself to another and having to leave.

Itachi-Uchiha Obi has a long road ahead of him but he certainly has a strong support team behind him.

That he does!



Author's Note: Thank you for the replies. They are much appreciated! Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: (*) Rendition from Batman Begins of Bruce Wayne's father telling him, Why do we fall down Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.

Hope you enjoy!



Chapter 12


Panic began to take hold. He had forced himself to be calm, to think, to release his fear like his father had taught him. But the terror he felt of possibly not seeing her again made his chin quiver ever so slightly. If he just knew which way to go he could find her. He remembered what the area looked like where he last saw her, but now he was at an intersection of three corridors and didn?t know which way to turn. How they had gotten separated he didn?t know. They were walking and looking through the shop windows at the decorative displays while he pointed and chatted, indicating

Wow.

That was powerful.

"I won't lie and say this won't hurt because it probably will. Hold onto me; I won't leave you."

That really got me.



*... lets out a long breath...*

I'm still recovering.