Before Not Myself (OWK/QGJ/OC's) - Complete - Replies, A/N, Links - 9/25/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by bek, Aug 17, 2007.

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  1. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    A wonderful update,=D= the cracks are finally appearing in
    Obi-Wans self contained prison.

    He will grieve soon and then they can help him:_|
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Pooor kid, to relive those memories. He does need to grieve and move on but his life was so awful after that, he needs to grieve for himself as well.

    Great job. Loved the flashbacks!
  3. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    "NO! You can't make me do this! I won't relive her death."

    "You do it every day of your life, son. Every time you blame yourself, every time you dream. You've been reliving it for years. Now it's time to face it head on."

    Obi-Wan swallowed, "Didn't you see it last time; wasn't that enough?"

    Kale shook his head, "No, we didn?t. That was an area you subconsciously kept us out of. Now sit down."


    :_| I'm glad Kale realized what Obi-Wan needed. Powerful update, indeed. Great job.
  4. silverfighter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2007
    star 4
    Oh, wow. That... That was... Wow.

    "There's a reason we fall down, Obi-Wan. It's life's way of teaching us how to pick our selves back up."

    Like I said before. Wow.

    Congrats, you have left me speechless.
    =D=

    ~Silverfighter
  5. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    You continue to amaze me with your writing and this story.
    The flashbacks, were just brillant, so vivid and emotionally charged.
    =D=

    Even though Obi-wan does not want to face his fears, Kale is making him, and it will turn out better for them both in the long run. So I'm loving it. Got a feelign the dam will break soon.

    Great chapter, thanks for the update.

  6. wolf_kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2007
    star 1
    :_|:_|:_|
    Wow- that was so...:_|
    Very powerful and well done, but just so, so sad. No, sad doesn't even cover it. More like heartbreaking.
    :_|
  7. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Oh wow! :eek: What an incredible update to come back to after the long weekend. So much anger and pain for a young boy (and lots of angst--I love angst!);) It does seem that he is just beginning to allow his father inside his heart, but he is still tenative about it.

    Wonderful job! I absolutely [face_love] this story and I can't wait for the next post!
  8. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wow! What a powerful chapter. :eek: That one line also stood out for me:

    "I won't lie and say this won't hurt because it probably will. Hold onto me; I won't leave you."

    Incredible work! =D=
  9. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    ratna "I won't lie and say this won't hurt because it probably will. Hold onto me; I won't leave you." That really got me.

    Kale's trying to impress the fact that, although he was absent for seven years, he will not abandon Obi-Wan now that they have found one another. :)

    Gkilkenny A wonderful update, the cracks are finally appearing in Obi-Wan?s self contained prison. He will grieve soon and then they can help him.

    Kale has a plan to help him heal. ;)

    dianethx Poor kid, to relive those memories. He does need to grieve and move on but his life was so awful after that, he needs to grieve for himself as well.

    Obi-Wan never got the chance to say a final goodbye. Kale will give him that chance.

    Loved the flashbacks!

    I enjoy writing them and exploring their background! :)

    Valairy_Scot I'm glad Kale realized what Obi-Wan needed.

    A father?s intuition. ;)

    Powerful update, indeed. Great job.

    Thank you! :)

    silverfighter Oh, wow. That... That was... Wow. Like I said before. Wow. Congrats, you have left me speechless.

    Thanks! [face_blush] I?m glad you?re enjoying it! :)

    Cole_Kenobi You continue to amaze me with your writing and this story. The flashbacks were just brilliant, so vivid and emotionally charged.

    Thank you! I am really enjoying the process of figuring out where Obi-Wan has been and where he is headed. Each chapter seems to take on a life of its own and each one has totally captured my attention. I?m so happy to find that others are enjoying them as well. :)

    Even though Obi-wan does not want to face his fears, Kale is making him, and it will turn out better for them both in the long run. So I'm loving it. Got a feeling the dam will break soon.

    Kale has something up his sleeve that Obi-Wan will discover soon and is actually mentioned in this next chapter. ;)

    wolf_kenobi Wow- that was so... Very powerful and well done, but just so, so sad. No, sad doesn't even cover it. More like heartbreaking.

    I?m sorry. :( Obi-Wan has some things to deal with before he figures out whether he can accept his new lot in life. Just a little longer until he decides what he wants. :)

    jedidas3 It does seem that he is just beginning to allow his father inside his heart, but he is still tentative about it.

    He has moments of letting of his guard down with Kale but then just as quickly raises it when feeling secure. He?s waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. :(

    Wonderful job! I absolutely this story and I can't wait for the next post!

    Thank you! :) And I got the hints about updating (the hints were actually encouraging), but it seems I can?t commit to a regular schedule at this time. I thought I would be able to update before now, but sadly it didn?t work out that way. Work is busy. I just finished a major project but have another to complete before the new semester begins in January. I?m trying to get as much writing done as possible in the evenings, but the kids don?t seem to think writing is as important as making dinner and helping with homework. :p

    Anyway, I?ll update again as soon as I can. Thanks for reading! :)

    VaderLVR64 Incredible work!

    Thank you! :)



    Chapter 13


    Once Obi-Wan was situated on the sofa, Kale went into the kitchen to gather some type of refreshment. Opening the cabinet, he pulled down a canister of dark Nubian khoca and two porcelain mugs. He hoped a blast from the past that had always brought a smile to his son's face might possibly resurrect that feeling of genuine delight that had always lit a young boy?s eyes when he drank this particular concoction. He pulled some milk from the cooling unit, poured it into a kettle and placed it on the heating unit. He leaned back against the counter to wait, his thoughts drifting to a different time.

    ?You missed it!? Cera shouted, tears stung her eyes but didn?t fall
  10. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Stopping to sit on a nearby bench, the woman pulled her grandson to her and lifted his chin to better see his eyes. ?Who said I don?t like your father??

    ?You think it,? the little one said, his nose scrunching up in confusion that she wouldn?t know this.

    ?Obi-Wan, I don?t dislike your father. I just miss my daughter. Your mother and I were always very close. When she married your father and they moved away, our relationship became strained.?

    ?Because you don?t like my dad.?

    She pulled the boy into a hug. ?Cera had so many opportunities waiting for her. When she married, those opportunities were put on hold until they no longer existed. I think she could have done better for herself.?

    Obi-Wan pulled back from the embrace, ?Better than me??

    His grandmother was shocked at the implication that he understood were it not for his mother and father?s union he would not be here. That realization hit her as well. ?No. Not better than you.?

    ?Then dad is good for her,? he answered with the knowledge of one older.

    Cera?s mother nodded in acquiesce, ?Yes, Kale is good for your mother.?


    Hmm, sounds like Obi-Wan taught "grandma" a lesson. Maybe Kale should meet the woman again.

    Great update - I really love this story.
  11. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Yes! [face_dancing] I was so thrilled to come in this morning to such a wonderful update! I love how you incorporate the past into the present for Obi-Wan and his father. They have a long road ahead of them, but moments like this will help bring them together. Wonderful job! =D=

    Thank you! And I got the hints about updating (the hints were actually encouraging), but it seems I can?t commit to a regular schedule at this time. I thought I would be able to update before now, but sadly it didn?t work out that way. Work is busy. I just finished a major project but have another to complete before the new semester begins in January. I?m trying to get as much writing done as possible in the evenings, but the kids don?t seem to think writing is as important as making dinner and helping with homework.

    Your kids think that way, too? LOL I completely understand. I also understad about real life getting in the way--do what you have to do and just update when you can. I can guarantee that I'll be here ready and waiting whenever you do update! [:D]
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    What a wonderful update! And I'm happy to read this any time you can update, so no pressure! :) It's always a nice suprise to see a PM waiting for me, telling me that I can read another chapter!

    =D=
  13. calimora Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2007
    If your daughter's husband doesn't dread you on some level, then you're doing something wrong.

    I liked the way Obi-wan's wisdom was illistrated in this post. It's sometimes quite hard to show believable wisdom in a child, but this was well done. Marvolous use of the socratic method, bek!
  14. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Ahah. I can see where Obi-wan gets his quirkyness from. Aha. Loved the bit of flashbacks, always puts a lovely history between the characters. Loved little Obi arguing with his grandmother aha, definatly his father's child. Great last line, made me laugh. lol :D
    Superb update, enjoyed it as usual.
  15. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Loved this chapter so much and I can sympathise with you
    having work, and kids who do not think writing is more important

    than dinner. Ummm [face_thinking] that reminds me I think my lot
    are waiting for dinner right now.

    Gotta go.[face_mischief]

    Brilliant story.=D=
  16. silverfighter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2007
    star 4
    "There's always a canister in the cupboard. You're welcome to it at any time." When Obi-Wan stilled, Kale asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

    Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. I just?. Aunt Jes tried to make this once, but it didn?t taste the same and mine always came out too thick." He paused before adding, "Not even mom could make it like you do."


    Why is it that only a certain person can make a certain thing the right way? I noticed that all the time when I was younger then I am now. ;)

    =D= Very good update! And, to make my life a bit easier, could you put me on your PM list? I don't know why I didn't ask in the first place. :)

    ~Silverfighter
  17. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    The memory of the discussion about moving to Coruscant was so poignant. Obi-Wan would have probably heard as well as felt some of the emotions going on then.

    I thought these lines were particularly sad.

    He felt Cera gently shake her head before the words came. ?Everything I know is here.?

    ?Everything but me,? he replied. The words were always the same.



    Great job. I hope Obi-Wan learns to trust his father again. I can't really see Kale and Obi's grandmother getting along. She'll likely blame Kale for her daughter's death.
  18. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Kale has some memories and regrets of his own. Life's like that. Imperfect. I love the way you're weaving this story in little vignettes from the past, as father and son help each other to come to terms with their lives as they are, rather than as they wish they might have been. Acceptance is a long and winding road. Very nicely counterpointed by the grandmother's POV of "it coulda shoulda woulda been better .... if only." Like my fellow readers, I also thought child Obi-Wan's answer to that was perfect.
  19. Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 21, 2007
    star 1
    Kale and Cera had some difficult choices to make in the past. :(I love the look back at Obi-Wan's life when his folks were together. :)Wonderful update. Sorry for missing the previous posty. I may be slow keeping up but I will somehow so keep up the great work.
  20. wolf_kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2007
    star 1
    Awesome job! I love the flashbacks- they are really well done.
    Slowly but surely, things are getting better. :) Atleast I hope so...[face_worried]
  21. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot Hmm, sounds like Obi-Wan taught "grandma" a lesson. Maybe Kale should meet the woman again.

    Their meeting may not go too well considering what happens when they arrive on Nyve. Speaking of which, that post will be a little bit down the line. :)

    Great update - I really love this story.

    Thank you! [face_blush]

    jedidas3 I love how you incorporate the past into the present for Obi-Wan and his father. They have a long road ahead of them, but moments like this will help bring them together.

    It may be one step forward and two steps back for a while, until Obi-Wan comes around to realizing that he too deserves another chance at life. ;)

    VaderLVR64 What a wonderful update! And I'm happy to read this any time you can update, so no pressure! It's always a nice surprise to see a PM waiting for me, telling me that I can read another chapter!

    Thank you and I appreciate the understanding! :)

    calimora If your daughter's husband doesn't dread you on some level, then you're doing something wrong.

    Cera?s mother believes Kale to have stolen (so to speak) her daughter from her family. She had plans marriage wise for each of her children, but Cera and Kale?s marriage completely blew them out of the water. And good thing to with the way Jes? marriage turned out. With her mother?s dislike of Kale and disapproval of their marriage, Cera and her mother?s relationship was strained. So no, Kale is not his mother-in-law?s favorite person.

    I liked the way Obi-Wan's wisdom was illustrated in this post. It's sometimes quite hard to show believable wisdom in a child, but this was well done. Marvelous use of the socratic method, bek!

    Thank you! My children are eight and ten, and I?ve forgotten what a younger child should sound like sometimes, having gotten past that stage with my own. I thought with Obi-Wan?s connection to the force and his father teaching him the ways of the Jedi, he may be a little more understanding about some things.

    Cole_Kenobi Loved little Obi arguing with his grandmother aha, definitely his father's child. Great last line, made me laugh.

    Kale and grandma?s meeting may be a bit strained. Post to come soon. ;)

    Gkilkenny Brilliant story.

    Thanks! :)

    silverfighter Why is it that only a certain person can make a certain thing the right way? I noticed that all the time when I was younger then I am now.

    I think it comes from how we view the person who made whatever it was we liked so much. ;)

    Very good update! And, to make my life a bit easier, could you put me on your PM list? I don't know why I didn't ask in the first place.

    Thank you! And you have been added to the PM list. :)

    dianethx I hope Obi-Wan learns to trust his father again.

    He?s closer than he thinks, but is having trouble letting that last strain of emotion go. :(

    I can't really see Kale and Obi's grandmother getting along. She'll likely blame Kale for her daughter's death.

    Kale and Cera?s mother do not get along. They rarely had to see one another during his and Cera?s marriage due to his being a Jedi and being gone on assignment. And now that Cera and Obi-Wan are both gone from Nyve, the grandmother has gone to extremes in deciding where blame should be placed. That post will be coming soon! ;)

    ratna Kale has some memories and regrets of his own. Life's like that. Imperfect.

    Unfortunately, Kale has lost a lot, but lived to tell about it: he honored his Jedi training in dealing with his wife?s death and the disappearance of his son. He didn?t give in to the anger and grief he felt at having his life and those he loved ripped from him. He also had a good support system of close friends that helped him through it, although there were times he probably just wanted them all to go away and leave him alone. Good thing they?re just as stubborn as he is. ;) Perhaps anothe
  22. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Wow. Has anyone ever told you how amazing your story is? =D= At times you break my heart with the sadness, with Obi-wan's verbal lashing at Kale, and then you make my heart warm with simple things like Jes's little speech to Obi-wan.

    I'm so excited, I can't imagine what you've got up your sleeve. Can't wait for the next update. Thanks for the PM. :D
  23. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    An update, and what a one.

    I understand Obi-Wan's reaction, and I understand Callen's reaction as well, but Jes is so right. Obi-Wan needs to know it's safe to speak honestly and freely.

    I loved the maturity of Reed as well; he understands Obi-Wan's pain and doesn't take it personally, and Tahl, as always, is wonderful into seeing into the heart of things.

    I think I'm going to love your healer, too.

    Wonderful update.
  24. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Such an amazing and lengthy post well done.=D=

    All the hurt and pain flaring up one minute and then
    seeing things how they could be.:cool:

    Obi-Wan is so confused, and none of them know the right
    words to make it better.[face_worried]

    However, you do and I look forward to some more.=D=
    Thank for the PM[:D]
  25. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    I'm doing a happy dance at my desk this morning after coming in and finding a new post![face_dancing] And what a post! I was absolutely riveted to the emotional depth that you have given these characters and how the reader can feel the pain of each one of them. What an absolutely incredible update! =D= =D= =D=
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