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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Not Myself (OWK/QGJ/OC's) - Complete - Replies, A/N, Links - 9/25/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by bek, Aug 17, 2007.

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  1. Cole_Kenobi

    Cole_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Whoa! Awesome update! =)
     
  2. Itachi-Uchiha

    Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Layers and layers to this Obi-Wan's life story. [face_worried] I love how he's different and yet in so many ways still the Obi-Wan we know and love from canon. [face_love]
     
  3. wolf_kenobi

    wolf_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Ack! How did I miss all these posts? :oops:

    Wow- this is incredible. So now we finally know why Obi's grandmother was so insistent. And his mother's death may not have been an accident...[face_worried]
    I am glad to know that he's with Kale and Qui. They should be able to find a way to put things right... I hope. [face_praying]

    Excellent posts!=D=

    PM list please?
     
  4. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Valairy_Scot Oh, my, I suspect (whispers, in case I'm right and no one suspects) IT WAS FOUL PLAY!!! Whoops, that wasn't a whisper.

    Uh, nope, not quite a whisper. ;)

    The blinding light, the distant cousin who'd inherit if Obi-Wan didn't - it was an attempt to murder Obi-Wan. And it failed! Am I right??

    Either that or Gawain was just mouthing off.

    I like the bit about all the males in Obi-Wan's life failing him (after his father's supposed death, that is). It's a wonder he gets on so well with Qui-Gon and the healer, and is beginning to with his father.

    He has to start somewhere. :)

    Well done!

    Thank you!


    Gkilkenny Obi-Wan waved a hand over his shoulder not bothering to turn around. He half smiled when he heard an oomph! from behind him, indicating one object had hit another. Climbing into the speeder, the teen left and didn?t look back.

    That's the way Obi-wan, don't take any nonsense from Gawain.


    He's done being the catching mitt for those who would demean him.


    ratna He keeps revisiting because there are important puzzle pieces in that memory.

    He also never got to say goodbye. :(

    Awesome, intriguing, loving it.

    Thank you! :)


    jedidas3 Oh wow! I didn't see that coming! What a nail biting post. Poor Obi...he needs to confide in somebody.

    He'll get his chance.

    You are doing such an incredible job with this story--I truly wait in anticipation of the next post. Beautiful job my friend!

    Thank you so much for your kind words. They came at just the right time. :)


    VaderLVR64 Wow! I can't wait to see what happens next!

    Coming soon! :)


    dianethx I liked that we found out what was going on with the grandmother and why she let her daughter Jes go with someone like that.

    Kana isn't a bad person, her family just happened to be in a bad situation.

    Jes's father in law is just plain nasty!!!

    Yes, he was. Nayt wasn't as bad as his father, but he had his moments. Traest on the other hand?.

    Great job. Hope Obi-Wan can overcome his past!

    Thank you. He's working on it. With each step he accomplishes, he comes that much closer to regaining what he lost. :)


    Cole_Kenobi Whoa! Awesome update!

    Thanks! :)


    Itachi-Uchiha Layers and layers to this Obi-Wan's life story. I love how he's different and yet in so many ways still the Obi-Wan we know and love from canon.

    I?m glad he's managing to retain some of his canon personality. I was hoping he wouldn't be so AU that he wouldn't be recognizable. There are those out there who don't care for an AU Obi that doesn?t at least resemble his counterpart. Thank you for your kind words. :)


    wolf_kenobi Ack! How did I miss all these posts?

    Don't worry 'bout it. Life happens! ;)

    Wow- this is incredible. So now we finally know why Obi's grandmother was so insistent. And his mother's death may not have been an accident...

    It's something they may question. [face_thinking]

    I am glad to know that he's with Kale and Qui. They should be able to find a way to put things right... I hope.

    They'll do their best. :)

    Excellent posts! PM list please?

    Thanks! [face_blush] I'd be happy to add you to the list.
     
  5. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Chapter 22


    He drove without conscious thought, as if he were being led by something beyond his control. When he came upon an open field, he stopped the speeder. Taking in the beautiful sight, the young man couldn?t quite shake the familiarity of the area as if he?d there once before. Neatly trimmed grass covered the meadow, trees speckled the landscape, and wild flowers bloomed in scattered clusters around the area. His eyes roamed over the diversity of the field, his need to take a deep breath causing him to take in the sweetness of the air. His gaze stopped wandering, focusing on something in the distance. Climbing out of the speeder, he walked toward a shaded area beneath a large weeping tree. He scanned the area, making certain he was alone; he didn?t want a repeat of what had happened at the accident site. Satisfied with his findings, he paced himself until he reached what appeared to be a garden of stone. Each granite and marble boulder was inscribed with a name and a date. A flash of insight and he knew where he was. He weaved himself through the memorials looking upon each and every name until he saw one that he remembered well. Kneeling down in front of the older addition, he smoothed his hand over the top of the stone.

    Jole Bailer
    Beloved husband, father, and grandfather


    The youth remembered his grandfather well; he also remembered his funeral. His mother had been devastated by the loss of her father. Jole had the ability to not only be a father to his children, but also someone his girls thought of as one of their closest friends; the line between the two was a thin one, but one Jole balanced with ease. Cera had told her son many times that his grandfather was a man to be treasured, someone they could count on no matter the circumstances. When Obi-Wan had mentioned that his own father was a man of such esteem, Cera had smiled and said, ?Yes, he is. And that is why you should never take him for granted. For one day, the force will call him home.?? He hadn?t quite understood what she had meant by the latter portion of her statement, and she had never really explained. But being the intelligent child he was and hearing the sorrow in his mother?s voice, he figured it had something to do with his grandfather?s funeral.

    He missed his grandfather; Jole had been his best friend, always there and always willing to play whatever the game of the day had been. His grandfather had also been a comfort during Kale?s long absences. Obi-Wan had tried to be strong for his mother during her time of sorrow, but he wasn?t his father and that was who Cera had needed most.

    A thought suddenly struck him and he stood, his eyes searching the remaining stones until he found what he was looking for. Walking a few feet to the northeast corner of the plot, he stood a moment, reading the inscription.

    Cera Bailer Kenobi
    Beloved wife, mother, and daughter


    Kneeling down, Obi-Wan leaned forward and rubbed a shaky hand across the bottom of the monument to clear away the dirt and cut grass that stuck to the base. What he uncovered caused his eyes to water. The inscribed words were only a portion of what she had once sung to him, when he searched her out, after waking from a nightmare that foretold her death. Thinking back to the terror he felt that night, he quietly mouthed the words:

    When I get where I'm going,
    there'll be only happy tears.
    I will shed the sins and struggles,
    I have carried all these years.
    I'll leave my heart wide open,
    I will love and have no fear.

    When I get where I'm going,
    Don't cry for me down here.(*)


    He wasn?t sure how long he had been sitting at his mother?s headstone, wasn?t sure who else knew of the night she had calmed his fear. He could remember how she had stressed the last two lines; having learned from her own father's death, she wanted to be remembered with smiles and joyful shouts, not with sorrow and frowning faces.

    'Think of it this way,' she had said. 'I'll leave this fleshly house and move to a new spiri
     
  6. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    I love the way you are giving Obi-Wan and his Father time
    to get to know each other.[:D]
    Somehow I think Obi-Wan will remember some details about his mothers death
    that wont be pleasant.[face_worried]

    Excellent post.=D=
     
  7. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, yes, progress IS being made and I love it. What a wonderful update!
     
  8. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    This part was absolutely heartwrenching!

    His palm came up on its own volition to wipe away the moisture from his eyes. ?You don't have to worry about me. Dad found me; he saved me.? He looked off into the distance, past the trunk of the tree. ?I?m trying, mom, I?m trying to keep my promise: to keep my heart open and to love without fear. You made me give my word that night that I wouldn?t allow anything to keep me from living out loud. But it?s so hard to reassert myself in a world where the people I was supposed to depend on treated me with nothing but malice, taught me to do anything but. It?s difficult to allow myself the vulnerability of reaching out to take the hand Dad?s offering me. And I think it hurts him that I?ve somehow found confidence in Qui-Gon and Master Hebsley but can?t seem to reach out to bridge the gap between us. I am trying, though. Some days I reach for that link that will bring us closer and almost manage to grasp it. And other days, I can?t even stand to be in the same room with any of them. Sometimes it all feels like fake platitudes, just something to shut me up or to make me feel as though I belong when we all know I don?t.?

    What a beautiful picture you paint with your words. I can actually feel the heartache and the confusion of Obi-Wan. Well done! =D=

    So, Garen's there...that will be good for Obi.

    I just absolutely adore this story and I can't wait for more. This is one of my favorites![face_love]
     
  9. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Every chapter just enchants me more. [face_love]

    'Think of it this way,' she had said. 'I'll leave this fleshly house and move to a new spirited address. I won't be able to write or to visit, but I'll always be with you as long as you remember me. But, remember only my life, and not my death.' She had touched the tip of his nose with a soft swipe of her finger before continuing, 'We've been given a special gift called life and it is meant to be lived out, not kept locked up in the grief and unfairness of the world around us.' She looked around and grinned before turning back to her son and leaning closer in a conspiratorial manner. 'It's only the world, little one. Yesterday is history, and the best is still to come. Now, promise me you won't let the harshness of life get you down, promise me you will not allow the trials of this life to cause you to close off your heart in fear that a similar situation may happen again; life is full of rewarding risks that are just waiting for you to reach out and take them, promise me you will find joy, promise me that when I leave this place, you will live your life as it was meant to be lived: out loud.' Waiting until he nodded his understanding, as much as an eight year old could comprehend, she gathered some blankets and covering them, laid them down on the sofa in hopes that her little one would find rest.

    She had meant what she said; life was too short to worry about what if's or about the loss of yet another loved one. Having listened to her husband speak of the force, she found that she believed in something greater than what she saw with her all too human eyes. Kale was forever saying, 'There is no death, only the force.' She wondered that perhaps he was right. With that thought in the forefront of her mind, she drifted into a peaceful sleep
    .

    I particularly loved this section. =D=
     
  10. Cole_Kenobi

    Cole_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Aww, I enjoyed this chapter. Obi-wan is definately making progress. Nicely done. Very well written.
     
  11. wolf_kenobi

    wolf_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Wonderful update! =D=

    I'd say more, but wonderful seems to cover it pretty well. Obi is making true progress![face_dancing]

    Great job, and looking forward to more! :)
     
  12. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was really quite satisfying. I loved how he was able to get things out in the open by talking with his mother at her grave and having his father over hear him. They both need to let somethings go so that they can move on.

    ?I?m angry with him, mom. I?m angry because he wasn?t there to raise me, and I?m angry with him now because he is and there are days I find myself doing everything I can to drive him away.? He took a deep breath to calm himself, his lungs reflexively taking in more air as his composure continued to crumble. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then released it, his forehead resting against the heel of his hand. ?I don?t want to lose him again, mom.? And I don?t want to get lost again. Brow furrowing with desperation, he said, "I remember everything you told me that night, but how do I put it into practice?"

    I like that Qui-Gon is a mediator between them. Obi-Wan blames Kale and I can see why it would be a barrier to their relationship. It will be hard to get around.

    Goob job.
     
  13. Itachi-Uchiha

    Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2007
    I'm glad Obi-Wan had a chance to get all of that off his chest. Maybe it will bring him some level of peace.[face_praying] Interesting that Yoda sent Garen and his master. It will be interesting to see if they can form a friendship. Great job.:)
     
  14. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Gkilkenny I love the way you are giving Obi-Wan and his Father time to get to know each other.

    They're relearning one another. :)

    Somehow I think Obi-Wan will remember some details about his mothers death that won't be pleasant.

    [face_mischief]

    Excellent post.

    Thank you!


    Valairy_Scot Oh, yes, progress IS being made and I love it. What a wonderful update!

    Thanks! :)


    jedidas3 This part was absolutely heart wrenching!

    Ah, success! :p

    What a beautiful picture you paint with your words. I can actually feel the heartache and the confusion of Obi-Wan. Well done!

    Thanks! :)

    So, Garen's there...that will be good for Obi.

    Should be, if Garen doesn't overstep the bounds. ;)

    I just absolutely adore this story and I can't wait for more. This is one of my favorites!

    Thank you! [face_blush]


    VaderLVR64 Every chapter just enchants me more.

    Thank you! Your kind words are a source of encouragement! :)


    Cole_Kenobi Aww, I enjoyed this chapter. Obi-wan is definitely making progress. Nicely done. Very well written.

    He is learning to trust those around him. Now if he could just let go of Nayt and Traest he may make progress by leaps and bounds. ;)


    wolf_kenobi Wonderful update! I'd say more, but wonderful seems to cover it pretty well. Obi is making true progress! Great job, and looking forward to more!

    Thanks! Obi's coming around. :)


    dianethx That was really quite satisfying. I loved how he was able to get things out in the open by talking with his mother at her grave and having his father over hear him. They both need to let some things go so that they can move on.

    Obi-Wan has taken a big step in voicing some of the things he's held in. And Kale hearing it was something he needed but didn't have the courage to do face to face. The force works in mysterious ways! :D

    I like that Qui-Gon is a mediator between them. Obi-Wan blames Kale and I can see why it would be a barrier to their relationship. It will be hard to get around.

    Qui-Gon is trying to stay on the sidelines as much as possible. As much as he cares for Obi-Wan and Kale, he doesn't want to interfere in any way that would contradict the reconciliation that they're trying to obtain.

    Good job.

    Thanks! :)


    Itachi-Uchiha I'm glad Obi-Wan had a chance to get all of that off his chest. Maybe it will bring him some level of peace.

    It will help! :)

    Interesting that Yoda sent Garen and his master. It will be interesting to see if they can form a friendship.

    Garen may have his work cut out for him. :p

    Great job.

    Thank you!


    Author's Note: I wanted to thank everyone for their replies to the last update PM that was sent out. Thank you for taking the time to let me know your thoughts regarding this fic. All the comments were a source of encouragement and some gave me some things to think about. I appreciate everyone's comments. Again, thank you so much! :D




    Chapter 23


    ?Kale, if I didn?t know better I?d say Master Yoda failed to inform you of our arrival.?

    The older man smiled. ?He informed me; I just didn?t think it would be this early.? Sitting down at the kitchen table, Kale rubbed both hands over his face to clear away the cobwebs of sleep that continued to cling to him. Once satisfied that he had removed any trace of exhaustion, he eyed his friends. The two had begun speaking of what had transpired since the last time they had met. When the topic changed to one Kale was more familiar with, he jumped into the conversation.

    Obi-Wan and Garen sat listening to the adults talk, their senses taking in the playful banter between the three friends. When they began discussing politics, Obi-Wan tapped Garen on the arm and motioned to the back door. The padawan gratefully accepted and followed the youth out
     
  15. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    ...you've done well."


    ... and so has the author. Lovely, lovely chapter.




    The Jedi sighed. "You're not one for talking are you?"

    "I don't exactly know you."

    "But for some reason you want to trust me." Garen leaned forward. "What do you want to know? What you see at the Temple is what you get outside the Order as well. I?m not one for facades, Kenobi. If you need an ear to listen, your captive audience awaits." Garen spread his arms out in invitation.


    Great start, Garen, Obi-Wan needs the straight talk.


    ?Good, neither am I.?

    ?Am I supposed to believe that??

    Garen smirked. ?Not really, but I figure if I teach it to you then maybe it would help me get the part I'm struggling with straightened out.?

    Resigning himself to the fact that Garen wasn?t going to go away, Obi-Wan half smiled. ?All right, I?ll get a lightsaber.?


    It's working, Garen, it's working. You're interacting.



    ...Hebsley gave me some good advice the last time I saw him. He said the best revenge against someone who has hurt you is to prove them wrong. So do it; show Nayt and Traest how wrong they were about you. I told you once that inside you there was a man waiting to make his entrance and that he would know when it was time to emerge. That time is nigh, Obi-Wan. He's emerging, you only need to let go and trust him."

    "You sound so sure."

    "Because I am."


    Yes, Obi-Wan needs the reassurance from someone who's been in a similar position.


    Jes took her other hand and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb over the lightly stubbled skin. "You were a child who had no defense other than what I gave you, as lacking as it was. You were innocent of his crimes, you were Cera and Kale's son, but the main reason is because I love you and despite who bore you, you were mine."

    A shaky smile graced the teen's lips. "I love you too."


    Ah, I'm mush here. I just [face_love] their relationship.


     
  16. Sabriel_Orion

    Sabriel_Orion Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2008
    I can't remember if I've commented in here before, or just lurked, but I definitely want you to know I love your story. It's a lot better than anything I could do. XD

    Anyway, please keep up the good work, and add me to your pm list. :D
     
  17. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    The interaction between Garen and Obi felt right.
    The whole post was brilliant.=D=
     
  18. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    Loved the interaction between Obi and Garen...what am I talking about? I loved the whole thing! You are doing an outstanding job with this story, my friend. I just hope that with Obi's progress, nothing happens to set him back. [face_worried]

    Well done! =D= =D=
     
  19. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Ah Garen. [face_love] Loved it all.

    "You've doing a wonderful job with him, Kale. He's more open than he used to be."

    Jes's quietly spoken words caught the Jedi's attention. "It's a hit and miss situation."

    "I know, but nevertheless, you've done well."


    =D=
     
  20. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Loved the Superman reference!

    "... I'm always around."

    And this:

    " ... I couldn't - can't - make things right for you; you know that only you can do that. ..."

    So true.


    Mysterious conversations in the drawing room ... Sounds like the game is afoot!
     
  21. Itachi-Uchiha

    Itachi-Uchiha Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Loved Obi-Wan and Garen's interaction. I'm so glad Obi-Wan felt comfortable enough to admit to his fears. :)
     
  22. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Ah, that was lovely. I especially liked the conversation between Obi and Garen.

    Obi-Wan offered no reply. He lowered his head, looking down at the ground in front of the terrace; his shoulders slumped when he leaned forward, placing his weight on the railing. Garen had seen such posture before: he had witnessed those they were sent to help in the same position after having witnessed friends and/or loved ones being harmed or worse.

    The force whisked by, a murmur in Garen's ear. His train of thought was on the right track. "He hurt them didn't he?"

    The teen was silent for some time before he gave terse nod. "After that, I promised myself I?d never let anyone that close to me again.?


    How terribly sad to be so isolated from everyone and know that if you became friends with someone, they'd get hurt.

    Good job.
     
  23. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Absolutely lovely story! I love Obi/Qui stories, but now I've become a fan of Kale, as well as your writing. I just spent the better part of two days reading what you've written so far. I must say, you've done your psychological research. Your characters ring true...no easy outs, hard decisions, and the lot. Great job. I look forward to reading more of your story!
     
  24. wolf_kenobi

    wolf_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Lovely post. Loved the interaction between Garen and Obi-Wan. Obi certainly takes to saber dueling well. :D Also the interaction betwen Jes and Obi was sweet and well written.
    Eager to see how this goes! Superb post! =D=
     
  25. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Valairy_Scot ... and so has the author. Lovely, lovely chapter.

    Thank you! [face_blush]

    Great start, Garen, Obi-Wan needs the straight talk.

    Garen?s not one to mince words.

    It's working, Garen, it's working. You're interacting.

    :)

    Yes, Obi-Wan needs the reassurance from someone who's been in a similar position.

    He is more apt to listen to her.

    Ah, I'm mush here. I just their relationship.

    Thanks! The life they?ve been through did much to strengthen their relationship.


    Sabriel_Orion I can't remember if I've commented in here before, or just lurked, but I definitely want you to know I love your story. It's a lot better than anything I could do. XD

    Thank you for the kind words! They are much appreciated! :)

    Anyway, please keep up the good work, and add me to your pm list.

    I will certainly do my best. And I?d be happy to add you to the list.


    Gkilkenny The interaction between Garen and Obi felt right. The whole post was brilliant.

    Couldn?t leave Garen out; Obi-Wan needs a friend. ;) And thank you!


    jedidas3 Loved the interaction between Obi and Garen...what am I talking about? I loved the whole thing! You are doing an outstanding job with this story, my friend. I just hope that with Obi's progress, nothing happens to set him back.

    Thank you! :)

    As for Obi?s progress, we?ll have to see. [face_mischief]


    VaderLVR64 Ah Garen. Loved it all.

    But Garen made the post, right? :p


    ratna Loved the Superman reference!

    You know, at first I didn?t understand what you meant. So I went back and reread the post and then it was like a slap to the forehead and a big ?Oh!?. I didn?t even realize it when I wrote it. :oops:

    Mysterious conversations in the drawing room ... Sounds like the game is afoot!

    Some thing may be lurking around the corner.


    Itachi-Uchiha Loved Obi-Wan and Garen's interaction.

    Thanks! :)

    I'm so glad Obi-Wan felt comfortable enough to admit to his fears.

    Fears that may come back to haunt him. [face_worried]


    dianethx Ah, that was lovely. I especially liked the conversation between Obi and Garen.

    I was nervous about writing Garen; I?m so glad he came across well. Thank you for the comment! :)

    How terribly sad to be so isolated from everyone and know that if you became friends with someone, they'd get hurt.

    Leverage to keep him in line. :(

    Good job.

    Thanks!


    p_stotts Absolutely lovely story! I love Obi/Qui stories, but now I've become a fan of Kale, as well as your writing. I just spent the better part of two days reading what you've written so far. I must say, you've done your psychological research. Your characters ring true...no easy outs, hard decisions, and the lot. Great job. I look forward to reading more of your story!

    Thank you for reading! I?m glad you?re enjoying it. :D


    wolf_kenobi Lovely post. Loved the interaction between Garen and Obi-Wan. Obi certainly takes to saber dueling well. Also the interaction between Jes and Obi was sweet and well written. Eager to see how this goes! Superb post!

    Thanks! :) And for Obi-Wan and light sabers, well, I figured whatever universe he?s written in, whether cannon or alternate, he?d be a natural. ;)



    Thank you all so much for the nominations! I don?t have the words to express how much it means to me, but I'll try anyway: Thankful beyond belief to my readers, elated, on cloud nine, giddy, surprised, and many other words that are escaping my mind right now but hopefully that gives you an idea. Thank you! [:D]






     
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