Not so pathetic lifeform (JA fan fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Tenel'Ka, May 15, 2000.

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  1. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Hey, myself and my part-time co-writer are working on the first part, so check back soon!
  2. Jessica Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2000
    star 1
    grumble...grumble...I hope your fic is here pretty soon!
  3. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    hey, blame my co-writer for not being home to read the part I have ready. He should be home tonight, or tomorrow morning though!
  4. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Well, this is being a little ater than I planed, but here is the first part:

    Title: Not so pathetic lifeform

    By: Tenel'Ka and Darth Ratsputin

    Note: /means thoughts, and * means talking through the Master, padawan bond.

    Disclaimer: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, the Jedi council, and the planet it is on, as well as the Force, and the species 'Calamarian' all belong to George Lucus.
    *********************************************

    Qui-Gon Jinn and his sixteen-year-old apprentice were on a small transport, headed for a much-deserved retreat on the planet Derca. They hadn't had more than two days off at a time from missions, for a long time.

    Qui-Gon had chosen the planet Derca because it was very quiet. The Jedi had a retreat temple built there for Masters and apprentices to stay at between missions. Jedi Knight Tahl had recommended the planet to Qui-Gon.

    *How much longer Master? * Obi-Wan asked through their bond, interrupting Qui-Gon from his thoughts. The two Jedi stood in the cockpit of the small transport.

    *Around ten standard minuites more Padawan. Patience. *

    *Yes Master. *

    "Master Jinn, we are preparing to land." The female Calamarian pilot reported from in front of them.

    "Proceed." Qui-Gon replied.
    *********************************************

    The transport pilot let the Jedi off on the landing pad that was five standard minuites away from the retreat temple.

    "Well, let us make the most of this retreat, padawan." Qui-Gon stated, looking over at his apprentice.

    "With pleasure, Master." Obi-Wan grinned, as they started off for the Jedi retreat temple.
    *********************************************

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan walked up the flight of stairs to the small but extravagant looking building. The temple had been made to house four people, that way, the Jedi staying there wouldn't find the place too crowded. After all, it was meant to get away from other people for awhile. But sometimes two Jedi teams would want to go together.

    Qui-Gon typed in the door code that the temple had given him, into the panel to the right of the door. Then they opened the door and went in.

    Inside was a small entryway with hooks on the wall. The two Jedi removed their cloaks, and hung them up, then proceeded into the hallway leading off of the entryway.

    The floor was made of a dark colored rock that their boots clicked against. Qui-Gon opened the door to the first room, in it were counters lining the walls, a refrigerating unit in one corner, and a food modifier in another. Near the center of the room was a small square table with four chairs around it.

    /Hope they have some food here. I'm hungry. / Obi-Wan thought.

    Leaving the kitchen, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan looked in the rest of the rooms. There was a fresher, a common room and there were four bedrooms at the end of the hallway.

    "I'll take the bedroom at the end of the hallway on the right side." Qui-Gon told his apprentice as they stood in the hallway.

    "I'll take the room on the left side then, if it is alright with you Master." replied Obi-Wan.

    "Yes, of course. We may as well unpack now, then we can try to find something to eat once we are done." Said Qui-Gon.

    Obi-Wan walked into his new room. There was a bed against the wall opposite of the door, with a nightstand beside it, a closet behind the door, and a desk and chair on the same wall as the nightstand.

    Obi-Wan went to the bed, and set his small duffel bag on it. He hung up his fresh tunics, and set his data pads on his desk. He then went back to his bag to make sure it was empty, but their was one more item in it, his river stone that Qui-Gon had given him for his thirteenth birthday. It was very special to Obi-Wan, not only because it was the first thing Qui-Gon had given to him and it was from his Master's home planet, but it was also Force sensitive. It had saved him from a mind sweep, and reminded him that all things were connected through the Force.

    The young Jedi took the stone and put it in the inner
  5. Kid Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2000
    star 1
    I love the beginning...are we in for a happy fic, sad, Obi-torture, Qui-torture, or maybe all of the above? Post more soon !!!
  6. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    I wouldn't mind a nice sedate story of the boys vacationing, but their plans do seem to go astray all to often.

    Great start, Tenel'ka.
  7. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    A nice vacation story might make a nice change of pace for our two heros, but we know how things usually end up
  8. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Hey, don't forget this isn't just by me... well, I guess that just about all of the first part was, but other parts willbe by Darth Ratsputin. Glad you liked it, and I hope to make this a...different kind of story.
  9. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Okay, why the heck is nobody replying to this story? Any lurkers out there? Hello? Anybody? Darth Ratsputin is wondering if there is anybody else reading this too. We hope to post another part this weekend, so check back, and I hope to hear from more of you. (hint, hint!) lol
    M.T.F.B.W.Y.
  10. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Hey.... I'm reading, just need a new post!!!

    Come all ye lurkers and de-lurk
  11. Kid Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2000
    star 1
    I need a new post in order to un-lurk...hey is that a word? Okay, I'll delurk if a new post magically appears sssssoooooonnnnn....
  12. Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2000
    star 1
    I am reading, too. Please post more.
  13. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
  14. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Okay, I guess that is enough people reading, for me to post another part. This is short, but I hope you like it!

    *********************************************

    Qui-Gon poured himself some tea, and sat down at the table. He was reading a data pad when Obi-Wan walked in.

    "Good morning padawan, did you sleep well?" Qui-Gon asked.

    "Very well actually." The young man answered, as he poured a cup of tea for himself, then sat down at the table across from his Master.

    "I am going to go outside, shortly, and try to find us some meat for the evening meal."

    "Alright, is there anything in particular you want me to do?"

    "Just keep yourself busy, and stay out of trouble." Qui-Gon said, putting emphasis on the last part.

    "I have NO idea what you could mean, Master." Replied Obi-Wan, trying to look innocent.

    "I'm sure you don't." Qui-Gon teased.
    *********************************************

    "I'll be back in a few hours." Qui-Gon told his apprentice, as they stood in the entryway.

    "Alright."

    "Be sure to get 'something' done before I get back."

    "I'll try to Master." Obi-Wan answered.

    "In the words of my former Master, 'Do or do not, there is no try.' " The Jedi Master said with a smirk.

    Obi-Wan restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "Yes Master."
    *********************************************

    Obi-Wan went into the kitchen and looked around. /What should I work on? / He asked himself. Looking around, he found the empty jar from the previous day's meal, and the two cups from that morning. /I guess I could wash them. / He thought, then got to work.

    Once he had the few dishes put away, he went to his room. His eyes fell upon the bed.He strode over to it and striped the covers from it. He then took them outside and shook the living daylights out of them. /Now they will be a little more fresh. / He thought, then returned to his room and neatly made his bed.

    After airing out the covers of all four beds, Obi-Wan went into the common room. A bookshelf filled with a variety of books, stood against the wall beside the door, there was a couch against one wall, with two chairs opposite of it. Over looking the furniture was a floor to ceiling window, with a view of the garden, and trees beyond it.

    Obi-Wan found a rag in the kitchen, and began to dust the furniture in the common room.
    *********************************************

    As Qui-Gon walked through the wooded area, he noticed how nice and peaceful the area was. There was a slight breeze that rustled the leaves, but that was about it. He had been walking for sometime when he heard the leaves on a bush rustling more than the wind would have caused, but when he looked over, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

    He would have thought it was his imagination if he were not a Jedi, but that was not the fact, he could sense a lifeform of some kind, and it was near by.

    Qui-Gon quietly walked over to the bush, and peered around it, when it popped out from hiding.
    *********************************************
  15. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    That's so unfair!! What popped out?
  16. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    ...and grabbed the Jedi Master by his hair and dragged him back to his lair. "No, no!"Qui-Gon gasped, trying to disentangle himself from the claws."I never said 'pathetic life form', that was my apprentice! My apprentice!"

    Hi! I'm lurking, too. Well, I was, I mean. Now I'm an official reader. I just had to smile at one thing. Obi-Wan is in the same room as a bookshelf filled with books, but instead he chooses to dust the furniture! I found that slightly amusing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the non-pathetic lifeform, so keep posting, Tenel Ka and Darth Rats...Razz...Ratsputin.
  17. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Sounds like my teenage nephew, he would too would rather dust or anything for that matter than read, what a shame. I wasn't aware of this domestic side of our sweet young jedi

    Now don't make us wait to long to find out what jumped out!!!!
  18. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Mwah-Ha-Ha!!! We are so evil, not telling you what it was. We are trying to get another post pumped out this weekend, so stay tuned to see what the creature was!!! Jane Jinn, I loved the bit you wrote! I laughed REALLY hard! Glad you liked it!
  19. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Ugh, I think I'm losing my mind. I could have sworn I had posted a reply when I read the first part the other day, but apparently I did not. That must have been the day I was at the library, and the computer was acting up. Oh well.
    So I'll say it now. Awesome start! I'm glad you started your new story so soon. I eagerly look forward to your next post, I can't wait to find out what's in those bushes.
  20. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Hey, sorry this post is taking so long, but we hope to have it up tonight.
    Bastet, glad you could join us!
    hmm...the bushes... well, I am NOT about to tell you what it was that popped out, so I guess you will just have to wait for the next post!!!
    I havn't heard from any of you since the 20th, so I just thought I'd bring this back up.
    Later Days!!!

    [This message has been edited by Tenel'Ka (edited 05-22-2000).]
  21. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    How much later? Come on, the suspense is killing me! What's in the bushes?!?!
    Eagerly awaiting more, I am.
  22. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Patience!
    It is only 4:53pm where Darth Ratsputin and I live, so it will be later after supper, maybe. Season finalie of Roswell tonight! Can't miss it, but actually, I just got off the phone with Darth Rasputin, talking about the story, so I am working on it now.
  23. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Glad to hear you're working on it. It's almost 6p.m. where I live. And I only have 10 minutes left on the library computer. Hopefully I'll be able to get on it later tonight, but one never knows. I expect more story by tomorrow, however. Got that?
    In case you were wondering, I have no patience. As my dad would say, "I want patience, and I want it now!!"
  24. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Got it Bastet. Tomorrow at the latest. I should have it up in an hour, unless you would rather have it tomorrow...


    ;
  25. Tenel'Ka Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 3
    Well, here is another part. Hope you enjoyed it, and hope the suspense was enough!


    *********************************************

    The thing jumped out at Qui-Gon, and tackled him to the ground. He might have been able to escape the creature, but the sight of it had startled him.

    Qui-Gon lay on the ground with a female... something, sitting on his stomach. She looked like a cross of human and something else. She had black hair, cut off at her chin, slitted dark eyes, a wide nose, pointed ears, and her skin was a light purple. He looked up at her with surprise. She looked down at him as if he were her greatest enemy.

    "Would you mind getting off of me?" Qui-Gon asked after several moment. She just glared at him. "I am not an enemy." He said gently.

    The girl looked to be about 18 or 19 years of age. She wore leather straps wrapped around her wrists and the palms of her hands, to protect them, but she could still have full use of her fingers. She wore animal skins draped over her shoulders, and another tied horizontally from under her arms, and down around her middle section, much like the Jedi's tunic, but without sleeves. She wore shorts that were more like a skirt that was sewn together between her legs. The boots she wore looked vaguely similar to those that Jedi wore, they ran up to her knees, but were made of animal hide. On her back was a quiver filled with arrows, and she held a bow in her left hand.

    "Who are you?" the girl demanded, with a deep voice.

    "My name is Qui-Gon Jinn." He answered, he wasn't sure if he should tell her he was a Jedi because some lifeforms didn't like Jedi's. He was not sure where this girl was from due to the planet being uninhabited as far as he knew.

    The girl stood and let the large man get up, keeping a sharp eye on him.

    "So, now what?" Qui-Gon asked, knowing the girl most likely wouldn't just let him go.

    Where are you from?" she inquired suspiciously.

    "Coruscant."

    The girl looked at his cloths. "Jedi huh? What are ya doing here?"

    "You know of the retreat temple here?" he asked.

    "Yah."

    "I am staying there on a retreat."

    "Anyone else with you?"

    "My apprentice." He answered, then asked, "And you are?"

    "My name is Datree." She informed him.
    "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He said with a bow.

    "Yah, whatever." She mumbled. "How long you gonna be here?" she inquired.

    "Until we are called for our next mission. A few weeks at least." He answered, even though it wasn't any of her business.

    Datree thought for a moment, then said, "I guess that will be alright."

    "Would you care to join us for our evening meal, so we can talk some more?" the Jedi Master offered.

    Datree looked at him, pondering the offer. "Yah, I guess so." She told him, though she didn't sound very happy about it.
    *********************************************

    Obi-Wan had the whole temple dusted, and looked for more jobs to do. He had done enough that Qui-Gon would be pleased, but he didn't want to have to resort to sitting in the common room reading. The afternoon was very pleasant on this planet, so he would much rather be outside.

    /Well, I suppose I could go do some exercises outside. / He thought, then headed out the door.

    Obi-Wan spent most of the afternoon practicing flips, force amplified jumps, and maneuvers with his lightsaber.

    After a few hours of practice, Obi-Wan headed inside to start preparing the evening meal.
    *********************************************

    Qui-Gon and Datree reached the retreat temple's door. The girl paused, and looked back at Qui-Gon.

    "You can go right in." Qui-Gon urged.

    She gave him a suspicious look. "You go first." She told him.

    "If you wish." Datree pulled out her bow and an arrow, as she went in, preparing to fight if it was a setup.
    *********************************************

    Obi-Wan heard the door open, then went to investigate what his Master might have brought back for the ne
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