Before Nothing Going Right- Drama with a happy ending-Continued again(Babby's POV)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by purple-lightsaber, Nov 27, 2006.

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  1. purple-lightsaber Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Title:Nothing Going Right
    Author:purple-lightsaber
    Genre:Drama with a happy ending
    Characters:Mostly Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
    Notes:please post a comment!





    Obi-Wan Kenobi slumped against the grungy brick wall, heart pounding, breath coming out short,raspy, and painful. The cold rain beat down upon him mercilessly, mixing in with his sweat. Gone. They were all gone, all his fault. Everything always his fault. Bleary eyed he looked past the alley, down the hill to the smoldering rubble of a battle stricken town miles away. Dead. All the people dead. His fault. Always his fault. With what was his last hope, he reached out with the Force trying to summon any survivors, to detect any presence of life at all. Nothing. There was a loud clap of thunder, followed by a blazing streak of branched green lightning. Surely, Obi-Wan told himself, there had to be someone left alive. There was always the possibility that he just was not intune with the Force to sense their presence. With this thought, he managed to pick himself up off the ground and reach for his lightsaber. He would have to go back down to the site of the carnage if he wanted to find anyone. He activated the switch on his lightsaber. Nothing. It was dead. With a cry, of frustration, Obi-Wan threw the weapon against the wall hearing it make contact with a crack. Anger seething through him he turned around kicked the wall behind him twice, then rested his head on it. His lightsaber was dead, just like all the people on Baalon 4. Obi-Wan blinked back tears of frustration and anger. Throwing a pity party for himself was not going to accomplish anything, but at that very moment he wanted nothing more than to curl up into a little ball and hide his shame. All those people, dead. He hadn't been able to save a single one, not one. Head bowed Obi-Wan slowly turned from the wall and began walking down the alley. What was done was done. No matter how hard he tried or how much he wished, he couldn't fix the planet. All he could do was meet Qui-Gon at the roundaevu point so that they could keep this fate from happening to other worlds as well.






    How much time had past Obi-Wan was not certain of. Everywhere he went seemed the same, a burning pile of rubble and ashes where a thriving city once had lived. He knew he must hurry to get to Qui-Gon, but he could not help but drag his feet, the site was just so overwhelming and miserable. A pile of ruins lay before him. Obi-Wan began his climb,stopping at once upon hearing an odd noise. He heard it a second time and instantly recognized it. A baby's cry. Frantically, Obi-Wan sifted through the rubbage pile, pulling away pieces of charred building materials and decaying flesh. It took what seemed like an eternity, but at last Obi-Wan came upon a small burgandy bundle covered in dust. Holding his breath, he pulled back the fabric. A round faced blue baby stared up at him,wailing loudly, but unijured. Obi-Wan heald the infant tightly to his chest, tears of joy streaming down his face as he made his way to Qui-Gon.




    Continue, yes, no?
  2. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Yes! Awww...poor, self-depricating Obi is pathetically sweet, expecially with a baby [face_love]. I wonder what happened before this?
  3. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    You should definitely continue this! :D

    He heard it a second time and instantly recognized it. A baby's cry. Frantically, Obi-Wan sifted through the rubbage pile, pulling away pieces of charred building materials and decaying flesh. It took what seemed like an eternity, but at last Obi-Wan came upon a small burgandy bundle covered in dust. Holding his breath, he pulled back the fabric. A round faced blue baby stared up at him,wailing loudly, but unijured. Obi-Wan heald the infant tightly to his chest, tears of joy streaming down his face as he made his way to Qui-Gon.

    =D=
  4. yodas_waiter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    star 3
    Very mysterious and eerie. Nicely done =D=

    With a cry, of frustration, Obi-Wan threw the weapon against the wall hearing it make contact with a crack.

    So much for This weapon is your life;)
  5. purple-lightsaber Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Obi-Wan kenobi rested his head against what was left of a brick building, trying to catch his breath. The child in his arms stirred slightly, changed position, and was still once more. Obi-Wan watched, still not quite used to the fact that someone had survived the catastrophe, much less a baby. Turning his head he looked in the direction he was moving to. There were no landmarks he could remember to point out how close he was to his destination or even any sign that he was going in the right direction. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and groaned in despair. He was lost. Lost just like the hope planet. The people were dismembered and lying in all directions like a handful of puzzle pieces from different pictures scattered on the floor after someones frustration had gotten the better of them. The beautiful buildings, with their ornately decorations and sturdy design were in ruins. The natural wildlife and plants, the sweet smelling flowers and purple shrubs, the clear orange waters, the peaceful sadorian flyers and the tamed yancue were now no more than skeletons of the memory of a majestic beautiful world laid waste. Even the scarlet night sky with its green clouds and blue flowers had been polluted with the stench of sulfur, so that the once lightly perfumed air was nearly unbearable to breathe, much less smell. And it's all my fault, Obi-Wan told himself as his weary mind drifted into the peace and calm of sleep.





    The two Jedi stepped off the transport vehicle. The planet, Obi-Wan noted, was magnificient despite it's odd colors. There was little time to see further as small blue skinned children with smiles so big as to not seemed to fit their face joined around the two men pleading for them to play. So happy. Everyone, so happy, so freindly. Not for long though. The cheif told the Jedi about the enemy, the one who would destroy them if the people were not protected. Another planet was ready with a plan to put a stop to the enemy.Qui-Gon would go to the other planet, Obi-Wan would remain here to protect this one. The enemy had little in way of weapons, and what they had was for hand-to-hand combat only. No. No, wrong. The people were wrong. They didn't know it, but they were wrong. The enemy came just as the scarlet of night fell, in great space ships and speaders, they threw out smokebombs everywhere to try to confuse and scatter the people. It worked. Everyone was running in every direction, while the smoke was clearing to reveal the enemy. The were huge, ugly,black robots carrying blasters,bombs and vibroblades. Obi-Wan tried to gather all the people together, but his voice was too small in a roar to loud. Obi-Wans tried to block out the visions of carnage, but there was just to much. A lot of the screams and howls of pain and terror were dimmed, as were the streams of scarlet and the smell, that terrible smell of burning hair and flesh and buildings and bone and death that continue to haunt even the toughest of men. Obi-Wan still relived, in an unending loop, the worst of the nightmare. He tried to lead some people to safety, his long legs jumping over a large rock in his path, only to have the people, who possesed much shorter legs having to step on the rock that wasn't a rock at all and be blown to bits. He tried to pull some people out of the rubble, only to find them dead or dead and dismered or worse. Near death with only the bear minimum of their bodies attatched. At last there was nothing for him to do but flee up the hill and then their was the baby's cry...... Obi-Wan Kenobi awoke to the cry of the baby in his arms. Lost, sweat pouring down his body, after revisiting the worst experience of his life.



    Continue,yes,no?
  6. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Very nice...do continue. One Jedi, alone, trying to save a planet - it's not your fault, Obi-Wan.
  7. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Continue, yes! Totally! Now we have some background, hmm?....[face_thinking] Augh, no wonder Obi thinks it's his fault...I mean, it's not, but the setup's perfect to make him think so...thank goodness he found the baby. I get the feeling that babe is going to keep him alive and relatively sane. Augh, and the part with the mine...[face_worried] and a bit of [face_sick] with some of the imagery.

    IT WILL BE OKAY OBI!!!

    Are you making a pm list for this? I'd like to be added! :D [face_batting]
  8. purple-lightsaber Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2006
    The sleeping child awoke at the feeling of something strange. It was something bad, something like his scary night dreams. The baby had never been exposed to bad before, only to good. Only to the happiness of the planet had he been exposed. Even his last night, with the the tall black strangers who filled his mouth with cold sleekness(he would later relize the taste that filled his mouth was called "gunmetal")had he not been exposed. His mother(whos colors were swirled mint-green and pale orange)had shielded him until her last breath. The only thing he knew about that night(besides the strange men) was that the taste of his mother's emotions had changed from a cool sliky creme to a jagged deep orange smell. The rest of his life had been filled with good. That was changing now. The Tall Man who held him was feeling bad colors, tastes, and smells. He felt a grayish blue combined with the deep orange his mother had fealt along with a splattered scarlet and black and a swirled lavender and black. The Man's tastes were that of hollow wet and bitter and a smooth strong nasty(Like rotten eggs). He smealt something salty. It all overwhelmed the babby's senses. The people of his planet were all empaths like he was. They all knew how to mask their emotions, but not this Man. This Man did not know. Nor did the child. The babby fealt the terrible strange sensations filling his senses, flooding him with unwanted imagery he just could not understand. The frustration built until the child let them escape with tears and wails. The Tall Man opened his eyes. The sensations stopped. The Man looked down at the babby and smiled.

    "Don't be afraid," he said,"I'm a friend." The babby stopped crying and smiled back, saying in his own way the exact same thing.



    Continue yes,no?


    Should I make a PM list?

    Thanks to all who posted comments!!!
  9. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Interesting point of view from the baby...poor thing. The color descriptions were cool...wonder what color Obi is? I'd like to be pm'ed with updates, please! :D
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