Before - Legends Nothing Too Bad - Atton Rand meets Bastila Shan - Humor Vignette

Disclaimer: George owns everything, I own nothing. Woe is me.

Note: This is my first fic here, but I did some entertainment for the recent 'Before the saga' awards. I wrote the Atton Rand's School of Chavilary and Chastity spot, and the Carth Brooks spot.


Nothing Too Bad


I open my eyes, waking to a faint voice whispering my name.

?Strange man, strange man, wake up!?

Kriff. So much for hoping I?d wake up in bed with a Twi?lek. They all know my name.

?That?s?not?my?name?? I say to the voice.

I cough. Hard. My throat hurts, and I?m convinced I?m dehydrated by this sickening feeling I?ve got. Not to mention I?m worried what this girl will look like: my eyes are open, but all I see is blurs. I mean, she?s a pretty nice looking blur for not being a Twi?lek, but blurs can be misleading. I decide I?ll have to wait and see.

?Well, I don?t know what your name is, strange man,? she says, slightly taken aback.

?Atton?Atton Rand.?

?That name sounds familiar. Did I date you when I was training to become a Jedi??

Of course not, you stupid lady!

?Yes,? I reply, adding in another cough for dramatic effect. ?I?ve missed you??

?Bastila,? the girl ?reminds? me. But yet, that name sounds familiar. It reminds me of something I and the Exile watched not too long ago?a few days ago, at most. It suddenly hits me: she was the girl in that hologram.

?Oh yes, I know you,? I say. ?But I thought you left Korriban a -? cough, hack, apology ?- few years ago, though.?

?I was going to, you?ve seen the hologram, I would assume, but then a group of Revan?s students captured me and threw me in this room. They?ve been holding me prisoner ever since, doing terrible things to me.? Her tone suddenly sounds very concerned. ?Are you going to do terrible things to me, Atton Rand??

I regain my complete eye sight, now, and I realize that the blurs didn?t lie. This women is one of the finest looking in the universe, out of all the ladies I?ve ever seen.

My cracked, parched lips smile. ?Nothing too terrible.?

Just now, the Exile rushes in. ?Atton, I?ve come to rescue you!? he exclaims hastily. ?Come on, let?s go!?

?Space off,? I say to him. ?I just found a lovely lady, you can go away.?

Bastila blushes. ?Well, thank you, Atton, but I do have?previous commitments, I must say. I am with Revan, you know.?

?Ah, I?m not afraid of him,? I say defiantly. ?Bring him on: I can fight to earn my girl.?

?You?re insane,? the Exhale says with a sigh. ?Absolutely insane. Can we go already??

?I already said, no, Kyle,? I remind him.

?For the last time, Atton, my name?s Kinianous,? the Exile snaps back angrily.

?Yeah, Kyle, I know,? I reply, ?quit being so touchy.?

Exile sighs again. ?Let?s just go.?

?I?m not going anywhere,? I retort. ?Why don?t you go duel the handmaiden, or knit with Kreia or something??

?Kreia?? Bastila asks out of the blue.

?Yeah, she?s some old witch,? I say lazily. ?No one you need to be concerned with.?

?She helped train Revan,? Bastila says. ?She will know where he ran off to. I need to speak with her right away!?

?She doesn?t know,? Exile says matter-of-factly. ?I asked her myself.?

?Oh? You?re asking people about Revan? So you?re stalking my lover, hmm?? Bastila demands of Exile as she stands to her feet in a rage.

?You can?t beat him,? I warn her.

?And why not?? she shoots back.

?He duels in his underwear and wins. Can you duel in your underwear and win??

?Well,? Bastila says, stammering a bit at that. ?I?ve?I?ve never really tried before, I must say.?

?You should try it sometime,? I say nonchalantly. ?Like, right now for instance would be nice.?

Her eyes bore into me, letting me know I crossed the line. I shrug inwardly. She wants me, she just doesn?t know it yet. Just give it time.

?Look, Bastila,? Exile says to her, ignoring me completely, ?we don?t need to fight. And you can talk to Kreia if you want to, she?s on our ship the Ebon Hawk.?

 

?Hmm, now there?s a line someone could use,? Exile remarks. ?Much better than that ?Are you an angel?? line you asked me about using on that girl on Nar Shadda, Atton.?

LOL that line just cracked me up.
Nice one

 

Star_Rocker:

LOL that line just cracked me up.
Nice one

Glad to see you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!

 

Okay, I've never played KOTOR before and I have no idea who these people are, but your story looked so dejected sitting here with only one review and I thought it could use an UP.

It was still funny, even if I didn't know the characters.

-Marie, trying to be helpful

 

emerald:

Okay, I've never played KOTOR before and I have no idea who these people are, but your story looked so dejected sitting here with only one review and I thought it could use an UP.

Thanks!

It was still funny, even if I didn't know the characters.

Awesome! Thank you!

---TK

 

Wonderful!

 

?You can?t beat him,? I warn her.

?And why not?? she shoots back.

?He duels in his underwear and wins. Can you duel in your underwear and win??

LMAO! So many funny lines, but that was my favorite. Another humorous hit!

 

VaderLVR64:

Wonderful!

Thanks!

JadeSolo:

LMAO! So many funny lines, but that was my favorite.

Yeah, me and my friend always thought that part of KOTOR 2 where he duels in his underwear with Handmaiden was a bit odd

Another humorous hit!

Thanks!

Healer_Leona:

Loved the use of the OT lines and one cannot disagree with ?Much better than that ?Are you an angel?? line you asked me about using on that girl on Nar Shadda, Atton.?

Yeah, Han Solo got all the good lines. I don't think Anakin had one good romantic line the entire Prequel Trilogy. I blame George Lucas for that, though.

Very funny fic! That was a delightful way to start my morning.

Sweet glad to be of service.

 

A little friendly up for this one.

 

?I happen to like nice men,? Bastila replies.

?I?m nice men,? I say, beaming.

?Hmm, now there?s a line someone could use,?

LOL, I like that one!

Didn't you do another KotOR fic somewhere? I thought I remembered one....
Anyway, Nice job TK!

 

Great story, I loved seeing all the main characters finally getting to meet each other. I agree with Bastilla, "Strange man" is an appropriate name for Atton. I guess she doesn't know of Atton's past, and it's probably for the best.

All of the KotOR II refrences were hilarious, the Twi'lek pazaak player and the Exile dueling in his underwear, for example. I've really got to play that game again sometime.

?Can we talk this over a round of Pazaak?? I ask in haste. ?And real Pazaak, as in closet to twenty wins!?

Poor Atton. I wonder who would've won if they had played Pazaak. But Revan never did seem one for talking things over...