Noxious Misunderstandings: (Obi/Qui) Post 52 [01.12.03] (COMPLETED)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Aunecah_Skywalker, Oct 17, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Breanna_Irulan_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 1
    Righto! Took me a month to figure it out. It just wasn't believeable.
  2. Jedi_Nifet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 8, 2002
    star 4
  3. Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2002
    star 5
    I don't have time to do individual responses right now, but thanks everyone. :)

    ( Nifet : I was writing from Maul's POV when I said that ;))

    Anyway, about the next post (and the one after that): I don't pretend to be good at writing action, but I hope this isn't the most terrible piece of action-prose that you've ever read in your entire lifetime. I'm also glad to say that this story is going to end in the next post! I hope.

    ~*~*~*~

    "Master, they're coming."

    "Good."

    Obi-Wan looked as if he wanted to hear more from Qui-Gon, but the Master was completely content on keeping quiet. He knew what Obi-Wan wanted to talk about, and he also knew what Obi-Wan didn't really want to talk about?and Qui-Gon felt like holding a conversation in either subject.

    Shmi.

    Shmi Skywalker.

    Qui-Gon sighed heavily. It had been some time since he had last seen her, but her image remained crystal-clear, as if they had been meeting all the time. Yet, if Obi-Wan was correct, and if both of them were indeed talking about the same woman, then Shmi was a slave. He felt terrible, though he knew that it wasn't his fault that Shmi had become enslaved. Well, at least he hoped it wasn't.

    "Master?"

    "Yes?" Qui-Gon shook his head slightly, clearing the haze of pain that the old memories brought. No, it was better not to think about Shmi at a time like this, with a battle at hand.

    Obi-Wan was looking at him curiously. "Are you all right?"

    "I am fine."

    Obi-Wan didn't look convinced, but he didn't question further either. "I think we're ready to start the assault."

    Qui-Gon looked behind him and saw the select group of a dozen or so men and women walking in a rigid poster up to him and Obi-Wan. Another group of dozen had already been dispatched to the main complex, to enter through the hidden gate connecting the chthonic complex to the building.

    The Commander was obviously counting on that Dooku and the tribal chiefs wouldn't know about the hidden door. Of course, Dooku was a Jedi?or rather, a Dark Jedi?and would be able to sense the group's presence as it went through to the building. But that was exactly what Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were supposed to stop. They were hoping that Dooku was going to be distracted enough with two Jedi for the first group to enter inconspicuously.

    "Good, let's go."

    Just then, a blaster shot richoetted off the cave.

    ~*~*~*~

    "Blast it!" Obi-Wan shouted as everyone dove for cover. Obi-Wan, stooping under a rock protruding from the ground, peered over the edge. It was dark, but he could see very clearly forms detaching themselves from the darkness, holding things (probably the blasters) that were glinting to the moonlight.

    He was loathe to admit that they had caught him unawares, because he should have been able to sense their presences. How had they managed it?

    "Master?" Obi-Wan whispered softly as a shadow fell over him. "What do we do now?" When he got no reply, he turned and saw not only his master but also Master Dooku standing there.

    ~*~*~*~

    Is it really bad? *runs away and hides*

    Aun
  4. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    It's not bad, Aunecah. :)

    Hmm, so Qui's reluctance to talk is because he knows Shmi? Does that mean he's Obi-Wan's father? ?[face_plain] How else would he know her? ?[face_plain]
  5. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    It's not bad at all.

    I think Qui-Gon must be Obi-Wan's father. That has to be it!

    :)
  6. Breanna_Irulan_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 1
    ::blinks stupidly:: I'm confused. I thought we were clear on the no-more-cliffhangers note. Clearly, I was wrong. Can we PLEASE get a post soon? Please?
  7. Breanna_Irulan_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 1
  8. Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2002
    star 5
    Thanks everyone for sticking out with me until now. :D

    And without further ado, here's the last post. It's long, btw.

    ~*~*~*~

    In a lightning-fast moment in which Obi-Wan nearly fell backward, both Jedi Masters whipped out their lightsabers and locked them in a sizzling strike. Whereas Obi-Wan could feel Qui-Gon's serenity (and some sadness), he felt Dooku's anger, as well. Anger and arrogance. It was unlikely that Obi-Wan should feel Masters' emotions, but they currently were involved in fighting with each other, and hence couldn't spare much in the way of mental shields.

    Obi-Wan jerked aside, out of Qui-Gon's way, as he and Dooku exchanged blows at lightning-fast movements. Obi-Wan pulled out his own lightsaber and turned it on, hoping to find some way he could join the fight, because he didn't feel particularly comfortable letting Qui-Gon fight an enraged, mad, powerful Dark Jedi alone - even if Obi-Wan couldn't be much help to him. But the rate at which Qui-Gon and Dooku were moving was blinding, and Obi-Wan couldn't find an opening.

    He stayed where he was, afraid that he would only make things worse for his master by going in with his lightsaber blazing.

    Then his danger sense flared, and he moved his lightsaber to intercept a laserbolt.

    He turned, along with the rest of the men under Qui-Gon's command, and saw at least three dozen tribal people, with various weapons - including blasters, cross-bows, vibroblades, and some that Obi-Wan didn't know even existed.

    Dooku obviously hadn't come alone.

    Qui-Gon and Dooku moved back into a distant corner of his brain, as deflecting laserbolts took over his concentration.

    ~*~*~*~

    The red flash came mere moments before Kala had been expecting it. It was night, and hence they had been relying on signals to tell each other when to move and where to move. Secrecy was a priority in their case, but even that needed to be risked for the success of their mission.

    They were relying on the hope that the part of the military that was supporting the tribes and Dooku was doing so out of fear rather than loyalty, at which point it would be quite easy to convince them, as long as they captured or killed the tribal chiefs. Dooku would be the Jedi's mission, and Kala desperately hoped they were up to the job. If Dooku wasn't captured, then the whole plot might come tumbling down.

    Signaling with two fingers to her group of men and women, Kala peered around the corner for any moving shadows. Not finding any, she quickly ran along the wall, crouching low in case there were any security guards atop the building. That wasn't completely unheard of, seeing as to how this building had been a fortress in the first yeras that it had been built, and she had every reason to believe that Dooku and the tribal chiefs would restart the old traditions.

    Thankfully, she got to the Underground door without any problem.

    The door looked just like the wall, and if Kala hadn't known what to look for, she would never have found it. She pushed down on the apparently harmless-looking upheavel on the ground before the concealed door, and at once the cavern-like appearance dissolved away to show a gray door attached with a security lock and a keypad.

    "Rela, the Code," Kala whispered fiercely. A young woman around her age walked forward, and started to type in the Code hastily.

    It was then that all hell broke loose.

    A bolt of red sizzled through the air. Kala jerked back with military instincts, but the woman beside her was not so fortunate. The laserbolt caught Rela right in her chest, and she dropped to the floor with a cry.

    Her party immediately went on defense - or, at least, as much a defensive stance as it was possible in this open area - but it was hard to protect yourself against somebody you couldn't see. Their best hope lay in getting into the building, but for that they needed to type a series of Codes in exactly the correct order. Otherwise the door would raise an alarm and their mission would be an instant failure.

    "Nala, take car
  9. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    [face_shocked] His sister? :confused: OK..... Uh... Not terribly sure how to respond to that. GOod ending though, just the same, loved the battle with Dooku.
  10. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful ending, Aunecah! I was totally surprised that Shmi is Qui-Gon's sister!!! Great job! :D
  11. Breanna_Irulan_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 1
    ::blinks:: Is that - is that it? It's over? But, it ended so quickly! I thought Qui was Obi's father! I was SURE of it! If it isn't Qui, who is it, dammit? Why'd u have to confuse me like this? Arg!
  12. Jedi_Nifet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 8, 2002
    star 4
    Great end, Aunecah! And you still left us wondering who Obi's father is ;) :D

    Nice job with this story!
  13. Breanna_Irulan_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 1
    ::pouts:: I feel stupid. I have to know who Obi's father is! This is so unfair.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.