[NRW] The explanation for IT ALL! (image heavy)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Charlemagne19, Aug 7, 2006.

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  1. Thanos6 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 1999
    star 4
    Ah, but that's not 616 Nick. :)
  2. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Darn those other dimensions.

    ;-)

    Next up, DID CALLISTA GO OFF TO BECOME CAROL DANVERS?
  3. MercenaryAce Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2005
    star 5
    Blast, and I thought my work was done with that other thread....


    I'm sorry, but you all know too much. By the decree of the Internation Order of Conspiricies (IOC)tm, none who has seen this thread will be aloud to continue existing.

    *Charges blast cannon*
  4. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    poor Dark Horse reacted poorly to this series of revelations...

    Jon Ostrander: NO! That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSSIBLE!

    Being the most common reaction.
  5. reagan64 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2006
    star 3
    This is an outrage! There's no jaw drop emoticon!
    I guess :eek: will have to do.
  6. SephyCloneNo15 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2005
    star 5
    If I was T McE, I'd give you a Golden Ewok? for amusingly retconning the years of the Clone Wars debate. Very fine work.

    What does this do to the Marakin theories then? Because if Mara/Jean had Anakin Solo by Logan, and Anakin is the father of Ben Skywalker, Anakin is Oedipus! (not to mention, Ben is Wolverine's granson)

    Hmmm....[image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/2/24/GreatHeep-NEGD.jpg]

    [image=http://www.pier.i8.com/characters/Optimus%20Prime.jpg]

    Is the Great Heep actually a malfunctioning Rogue Transformer who somehow found his way to the GFFA's neighbor galaxy?
  7. jSarek VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2005
    star 4
    Hmm, and if one can make it, why not others? And we already know the "Abominor" can absorb and integrate the GFFA's technology . . .

    [image=http://www.starwars.com/collecting/news/hasbro/img/20051107_vader_bg.jpg] [image=http://www.starwars.com/collecting/news/hasbro/img/20051107_luke_bg.jpg]
  8. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    The Marvel Universe retcons the Mandalorian and Boba Fett Crisis

    [image=http://img70.imageshack.us/img70/8599/ironman24fo.jpg]

    The origins of the Mandalorians begin of course with Tony Stark whom created the first piece of Mandalorian armor. The race was sired by his countless love affairs with a variety of gorgeous women before they retreated into space and the past to avoid inbreeding and became hyper reactionary fundamentalists when it came to sex. One of the reasons that Jango Fett in order to have a son didn't just ummm...FIND SOMEONE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH.

    What little did anyone expect though that Tony Stark's Armor Wars on planet Earth in Galaxy-616 would eventually have a titanic effect on the Mandalorian race as a whole. For those unfamiliar with the Armor Wars, Tony Stark decided to make sure that he was the only person wearing Iron Man armor. Well this of course applies to his entire race of illegitimate children.

    At the time of the Armor Wars, the Mandalorians were engaged in their own struggle between the True Mandalorians and the Death Watch.

    Typical Deathwatch Member: [image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b5/Beetle_animated.jpg]

    Typical True mandalorian: [image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b6/IM78.jpg/403px-IM78.jpg]

    The battles between the two groups would have been devastating enough if not for the fact that COUNT DRACULA...

    [image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6f/DookuBZZZ.jpg]

    Noted enemy of Doctor Strange, had escaped the Montessi formulae by fleeing into space and resuming his humanity by transferring his soul into the otherwise noble Jedi Master Dooku. Count Dracula feared the potential of Iron Man's armor almost as much as he feared the potential of the Jedi Knighthood (almost as much as BLADE) and arranged for the destruction of the largest group of true Mandalorians.

    (Proof of Dracula's presence in Dooku is that all of Dooku's apprentices are pasty white females and he probably bit Aurra Sing too).

    The Mandalorians might have won nevertheless, if not for the fact that Tony Stark used his contact with Galactus' machinery to send a universe wide signal that shut down all the armor of Mandalorians throughout the universe and effectively destroyed the Mandalorians as a people. This actually was what undid the race more than anything else. What they DIDN'T realize was that Jango Fett would be so brilliant in the ways of his people he'd actually return to the creator in Tony Stark and in exchange for some bacta to restore Tony from his paralyzation, would recieve his armor back and thus be able to rebirth the Mandalorian people.

    (take note, Dracula/Dooku would be revenged upon as Anakin Skywalker killed Dracula in the Clone Wars and then in proper sequel fashion....killed him again in ROTS. Presumably, he's going to pop up again sometime).

    Unfortunately, Jango neglected to realize that Iron Man armor is needlessly complex and would result in a long standing struggle for his son. The Mandalorian armor of Boba Fett would gain sentience and eventually seek out another Mandalorian clone of Jango and then rewrite his memories (as the armor is won't to do) thus creating Spar before later doing it to Boba Fett's daughter Ailyn. It would also happen to Jodo Kast and however many poor souls ended up getting eaten by the Sarlaac.
  9. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    What destroyed The Vong galaxy? Duh....

    [image=http://uncyclopedia.org/images/a/a4/Unicron.jpg]

    Thus leading to their hatred of droids.
  10. Admiral_Keller Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2005
    star 2
    IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

    In the words of the Brewmasters:

    BRILLIENT!
  11. Crazydan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2005
    star 3
    Wow. All of that just made senses. [face_hypnotized]

    Through I have something to ask you: Charlemange, how would you "recons" Captain America into this galaxy? And the Hulk?
  12. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Remember the evil scientist in Jedi Apprentice studying midi-clorians whom made bioweapons for the Seperatists then disappeared? Well, THE Collector took her as part of his collection before escaping in a pod during one of the more unruly conflicts only to end up on the planet Earth. Continuing her midiclorian research, it was promptly stolen by her research partner even as she herself would continue work...FOR THE NAZIS.

    The midi-clorian enhancing 'supersoldier serum' would be given to Captain America with "Vita-Rays" that stabilized it and gave a frail enlisted man the powers of a FULL BLOWN JEDI KNIGHT! Captain America would never realize that he'd be able to do much more but his ability to dodge bullets along with his prenaturally strong moral values/judgement are the result of his unconscious training with the Light Side of the Force.

    Later, the serum would be hyper-concentrated and allow the near godlike power of the Sentry.
  13. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 9, 2000
    star 6
    Isn't it obvious... Luke and Leia are actually the children of Ben Kenobi...?

    Han Solo, however...

    [image=http://www.sf-fan.de/sf-film/x-men/wolverine.jpg]

    ... is an amnesiac Wolverine...

    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/8/81/Han1_edited.JPG]

    ... who was previously the Jedi padawaan Drake Lo'gaan...

    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/6/62/Drake.jpg]

    :p

    - The Imperial Ewok
  14. Crazydan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2005
    star 3
    So would you say that scientist is responsible for the accident that gives Red Skull a "red skull"?
  15. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Imperial scientists have a wonderful way to cause nightmarish deformities!

  16. Darth_Foo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2003
    star 4
    =D= awsome thread Charlemagne

    however the x-men have cross-overs with Star Trek. so by your theory it is possible for SW and ST to have a cross-over and that is really really close to heresy[face_shame_on_you]
  17. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    It is perfectly permissable for Star Wars to crossover with Star Trek under the following circumstances...

    1. Han Solo and Kirk discuss conquests.
    2. The Death Star fights the Enterprise.
    3. The Emperor force lightnings Wesley Crusher to death.
    4. Kirk blows up Jar Jar with some hand made gunpowder grenades.
  18. jSarek VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2005
    star 4
  19. Ataro_Soresu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2006
    star 2
  20. MercenaryAce Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2005
    star 5
    Heheh...that's one done. [face_devil] [face_dancing]
  21. JMM Author: The Forgotten War, SW Fact File

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1998
    star 3
    Yes, that's all very interesting, but you forgot about the previously unrevealed origin of the Jedi Order...

    The ancient Whills (aka Guardians of the Universe) established a group of powerful peacekeepers who were known for their unique handheld, glowing weapons.
    [image=http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/sw/Oan01.jpg]
    :D
  22. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper and Rumor Naysayer

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    A penchant for using guile & magical deception (up to and including faking his own death) to gauge the true intentions of others? It's all so clear!

    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/f/f4/Tholme.JPG]
    is actually
    [image=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/Strangexcalbiur.PNG]

    The Sorceror Supreme invoked the Winds of Watoomb to bring him to the Galaxy Far Far Away, in attempt to track down his old nemesis

    [image=http://www.marvel.com/universe3zx/images/4/46/Mordo.jpg]
    Baron Mordo! Dr. Strange initially thought that Mordo was posing as Jedi Master Quinlan Vos, but he was mistaken. Baron Mordo was actually

    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/7/7e/TolSkorr.jpg]
    The dark sorceror came to Korriban, following rumors that the Darkhold had been hidden on the Sith mausoleum world. He had nearly found the Book of Sins for his master Dormammu, but was thwarted by Count Dracula AKA Count Dooku!

    During the course of trying to thwart Mordo and Dracula, much to his surprise, Strange found his erstwhile lover
    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/d/db/DarkWomancomic.jpg]
    or should I say...
    [image=http://www.marvel.com/universe3zx/images/7/79/Clea.jpg]

    As Tholme, Dr. Strange was able to escape Order 66 by stunning his Clone Commander with Bolts of Bedevilment and binding the support troops with the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak. He then used the Vapors of Valtorr to wipe their memories of the entire occurance, and met up with Master Vos on Kashyykk.

    Meanwhile, Clea retreated to an unknown world to further develop magical talents taught to her by Dr. Druid. She was unfortunately discovered by Dr. Doom AKA Darth Vader, and had to resort to astral projection to escape
    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/a/aa/Dark_woman_ghost.jpg]

    It's all so obvious!
  23. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Nah. He'd have to make a bamboo cannon and shoot diamonds into Jar Jar's heart.
  24. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper and Rumor Naysayer

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    ALSO: Is Joruus C'Baoth actually the Aged Genghis, cursed by Mephisto?

    (sorry, could't find any images of my favorite aged master)
  25. SephyCloneNo15 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2005
    star 5
    :eek: This demands further explanation!

    Is it just me, or does the guy whose face is covered by 3P0's tray (sorry, it was the only pic that I could find on the Wookie without knowing his name)
    [image=http://starwars.wikia.com/images/d/df/Seeds_of_Rebellion.JPG]
    look like he could be related to Storm?
    [image=http://uncannyxmen.net/images/spotlight/storm00.jpg]
    Is Storm's father a Galactic revolutionary?
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