Saga Nuance-A Shade of Meaning (Obi-Wan, Anakin, the end of TPM)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jturtle, Sep 27, 2006.

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  1. Jturtle Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2006
    star 4
    Title: Nuance-A Shade of Meaning
    Author: Jturtle
    Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan
    Timeframe: TPM
    Genre: viggnette pretty angsty
    Notes: I'm pretty new at this so let me now what I did right ...or wrong.
    What were Anakin's thoughts as he watched Qui-gon's funeral?

    Master Qui-gon was dead.

    And he couldn?t believe it.

    Qui-gon, it seemed had been his only hope for becoming a Jedi. Those council people didn?t seem to want him at all and Obi-wan seemed to share their view even if he had to go along with what his master said.

    The scene in the room was like out of one of the story books his mom used to read to him. A great fire on the pyre in the middle of the room shed the only illumination on the beings gathered loosely around this center point to pay their last respects to the hero whose body was slowly being devoured by the flames. All the faces in the room showed various degrees of remorse and some of pity for the young man who, of all the people in the room, probably took the Jedi master?s passing the hardest.

    Despite all the assorted beings in the room the young padawan or former padawan had eyes only for his former master, now gone, passed into the Force. To those who didn?t know him well they might think that he was merely disturbed, for he had all but perfected the Jedi mask of appearing almost completely impassive. Those who did know him well, however, would look into the depths of those color-changing eyes and see a profound grief. It would be strange to see this young man in such a state of anguish as he was normally filled with a sarcastic sense of humor. The young boy at his side however could have rivaled him for the most in-shock train of thoughts. He still couldn?t believe that his hero, his hopefully soon to be mentor was dead. Dead. Of all the horrible things that could have happened during the battle of Theed, this was one of the worst possibilities. Anakin thought that there were certainly worse possibilities, such as loosing the battle, and he knew Qui-gon was doing what Jedi were supposed to do but still. He remembered the first day he had met Qui-gon. At dinner when he had accused Qui-gon of being a Jedi.

    They had all been sitting around for dinner, slightly amused by the gungan, Jar-jar?s actions when Anakin had said, ?You?re a Jedi knight aren?t you.?

    ?What makes you say that??

    ?I saw your laser sword. Only Jedi carry that kind of a weapon,? he had replied with conviction.

    ?How do you know I didn?t kill a Jedi and take it from him?? was Qui-gon?s elusive reply.

    ?That?s impossible. No one can kill a Jedi.?

    Sitting back slightly Qui-gon replied, ?I wish that were so.?


    Now the firm reality of it came back to slap him in the face. Jedi could die. Jedi did die. Even the Jedi he had cared about died. What?s to say it wouldn?t happen again? He harshly clamped down on that train of thought. Didn?t that council say he had too much fear?

    He couldn?t imagine the thoughts going through Obi-wan?s head right now. He knew Qui-gon was Obi-wan?s mentor and they had seemed really close. Almost like father and son. He didn?t know much about it but he had definitely wanted that kind of closeness with someone. He had his mom but sometimes she didn?t really understand about his ?feelings? and some of the things that happened. She also didn?t understand his passion for flying.

    When he had come back from the main control ship after it?s destruction at his hands he had been more elated than he had been in his entire life. Even after he won the Bonta Eve classic. He had been happy to help save Padme?s planet but when he had been greeted with the news of Qui-gon?s death he had been devastated. He tried like several others to help the anguished padawan but like the others he had been politely, but firmly told that Obi-wan wanted to be by himself to meditate or some other Jedi-like thing.

    Anakin looked up at the other occupants of the room and saw similar looks of grief on all the faces present. Padme looked as beautiful as ever, even in the traditional bl
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Very nicely done! =D=

    Now the firm reality of it came back to slap him in the face. Jedi could die. Jedi did die. Even the Jedi he had cared about died. What?s to say it wouldn?t happen again? He harshly clamped down on that train of thought. Didn?t that council say he had too much fear?

    He couldn?t imagine the thoughts going through Obi-wan?s head right now. He knew Qui-gon was Obi-wan?s mentor and they had seemed really close. Almost like father and son. He didn?t know much about it but he had definitely wanted that kind of closeness with someone. He had his mom but sometimes she didn?t really understand about his ?feelings? and some of the things that happened. She also didn?t understand his passion for flying.


    I think you did a great job of capturing young Anakin's thoughts at this tumultuous time in his life. Bravo! :D
  3. VA_Parky Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2005
    star 4
    That was lovely, Jturtle! I think what really made it so impactful was the way you got into Anakin's head. His thoughts were perfect - and he really sounded like a nine-year-old boy. You had him down pat!

    Beautiful job! I really enjoyed it!!
  4. BottledUpInside Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Another fabulous viggy!



    That had to be my favorite few lines of the whole thing, really interesting that Anakin should notice that!

    In the whole, a very amazing piece!

    Great job padawan!
  5. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was wonderful.

    You did an amazing job capturing Anakin's thoughts and emotions. It's too bad Obi-Wan pushed him away right after Qui-Gon died...

    Great job

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  6. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I agree, a very well done viggie. Young Anakin's thoughts were done superbly.

  7. BottledUpInside Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
  8. Jturtle Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2006
    star 4
    Thanks for the reviews:)

    VaderLVR64: Thanks! I really appreciate the nice comments.[face_blush]

    VA_Parky: I wasn't sure about Anakin's thoughts but I'm really glad you liked them. Thanks!

    BottledUpInside: Thanks again for the beta Master. I'm glad you liked those lines, I wasn't sure how they might come across.

    KELIA: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

    Healer_Leona: Thanks![face_blush]


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