Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Aug 11, 2003.
Loved seeing Ullo! Thank you for doing something else with him in it. How old is Obi in this btw?
New challenge: Lightsaber battle- Imagine Obi-Wan at his prime in AOTC pitted in a life and death saber battle with Xanatos at around the same age, meaning right before Xanatos died. According to stats Red found while doing research, they were pretty evenually matched in most ways at this stage in their lives. Write a lightsaber battle vig where these two are going toe-to-toe. Who would win and what would it take?
Only two conditions on this one. 1) It must be a lightsaber battle and 2) They must be this age range. ie 35ish.
This is AU so anything goes!
Era: AotC AU
Characters: Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku
Disclaimer: Nothing in this ?verse belongs to me.
Note: This is in response to the Obi-Wan challenge: Write a lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Xanatos in which they are the same age and evenly matched. The idea that Xanatos and Siri had an encounter while she was undercover is from Master_Noi. Thanks for letting me borrow it.
?Beauty in distress is much the most affecting beauty.? ? Edmund Burke, philosopher
Every man has a weakness, a lust that if not controlled will drive him off his chosen path to the brink of insanity. Stacks of credits, influence over the masses, pleasures of the flesh ? the insatiable hunger for these things has pushed many otherwise successful men to a fateful ending. It?s true that those who were aware of their flaws could hone their appetites into ambition and, with discipline and patience, steer themselves into the hallowed sanctuary of invulnerability.
Darth Tyranus, Count Dooku of Serenno, considered his Master to be one of these men. For years, Darth Sidious had carefully set the scene for his ascent to the pinnacle of his lust for power. As Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, as well as the power behind the growing Separatist movement, he held all the cards. All he needed to do now was wait for the right moment to tip his hand.
Like the Sith Master, Dooku had patience and control over his own weakness, which was a thirst for beauty. Unfortunately for the aging man, he had no control over the passage of time. So if he was a little hasty in executing his scheme, it was only because he couldn?t afford to wait. His sights remained on his path and the prize that lay at the end of it, and he would not be distracted ? most of the time.
He was still a man, after all. And perhaps that?s why he had let the duel he was observing go on longer than he?d originally intended.
From his vantage point on a steel grid platform suspended far above the cavern floor, his eyes were riveted to the young men engaged in battle. The low-pitched hums of their whirling lightsabers were punctuated by the cracks and hisses of clashing blades. The luminous blurs of crimson and sapphire offered a striking contrast to the reddish-brown of the rock walls, as the swordsmen traded strikes and lunges.
When the sparring had commenced more than a quarter-hour ago, Dooku had been all objectivity, taking mental snapshots of each parry and dodge, comparing the physical strengths of the fighters ? Xanatos Leconte covered from neck to toe in close-fitting black, Obi-Wan Kenobi draped in the flowing earth tones symbolizing the humility of the Jedi Order. The observer?s own inky cloak helped him melt into the absence of light near the top of the cavern, while the mental shields he had spent a lifetime building rendered his presence invisible in the Force.
Over the course of the duel, his detachment had melted away, as his eyes were seduced by the display of grace and prowess. Their moves went beyond the rote attacks and defenses taught in the training salle. With each slash of his saber, each man revealed a part of his soul. True, both still lacked the polish of a veteran swordsman, but that would come with time and the proper guidance.
Long fingers brushed against the warm metal of his own holstered weapon, a small part of him itching to join the fray. He had long surpassed the stage where he had to fight his animal urges, however, when they did not serve the greater purpose. The Sith Lord had been weaving this web for too long to start unraveling it one thread at a time. At this moment, for this duel, he was a spectator. A master looking for his new apprentice, much in the way he, as a Jedi, had sought out Qui-Gon Jinn.
And though several years has passed since the untimely death of his protÃ©gÃ© ? though they had frequent disagreements on certain actions either had taken, in essentials they were very much the same ? he
Brilliant!!! But don't go, Obi!!
I loved this line -- Obi-Wan released an exasperated sigh. ?Did you ever think of bottling some of that hot air? I?m sure it would fetch some serious credits on Hoth.?
You know my feelings on this one, I think it's utterly brilliant! I don't have enough superlatives in my vocabulary, and that's no joke.
Nooo can't stop there!!! Oh my......
Wow that was juz breath taking and totally suspense filled! Hurray for Obi!! All because of love ! I so agree with Dooku on that it was 'poetic'! Well the situation was rather.
Well done! Wonderful job with the Count! *Dreamy sigh* Excellent! Too true for this:
And though several years has passed since the untimely death of his protÃ©gÃ© ? though they had frequent disagreements on certain actions either had taken, in essentials they were very much the same ? he still took pride in having molded one of the best swordsmen, and in his opinion one of the most honorable Jedi, in the history of the Order. As Master and Padawan, they had never had the filial affection Dooku had witnessed in other pairings, but to this day, Dooku maintained a high respect for his student.
And ironcially so I pondered on whether or not this was why Dooku hesitated (well in RotS he mentioned that he didn't want to kill Obi-Wan...perhaps he wanted or thought the young Master had potential...or maybe not me and my musings here).
Because of that regard, it was only fitting that he turn to one of Qui-Gon?s Padawans to fill his needs. His heart trilled at the beautiful irony of the situation; in being the teacher of their teacher, some of his influence had surely trickled down and helped shape the men they were today.
Once again well done DarthMousche !! And I even got a Dooku fix for the day!
I've nearly forgotten this thread...for shame of me!
Okay, here goes nothing...
Title: Fatal Flaws
Characters: Obi-Wan, Xanatos
Summary: Boys will be boys.
Notes: Action is very difficult for me to write, so I apologize in advance! Also, having reading Mousche's work, I was inspired, so part of the credit (maybe I should say blame?) goes to DarthMousche.
?You won?t win, you know,? Xanatos purred, his breath warming Obi-Wan?s face.
The two men?s blades were locked, their faces mere centimeters from each other. Xanatos smiled and then winked. ?He?s already ours,? Xan?s soft whisper taunted Obi-Wan.
?Your overconfidence is your weakness,? Obi-Wan replied calmly.
?Your inability to see the truth is yours,? Xan grunted as they move sprang back, their sabers twirling in arcs of blue and red.
Circling warily, Obi-Wan waited patiently for the Force to speak. ?We shall see,? he told his opponent. He wore his Jedi serenity comfortably.
Xanatos gave an ugly laugh and spun his blade in lazy arcs. ?You still think you can save young Skywalker?? He shook his head. ?I should be grateful for your stupidity, but it does take away the sweetness of the victory.? Xanatos shrugged. ?Ah well, I suppose I cannot have everything my way, now can I??
?You won?t have anything your way,? Obi-Wan said quietly and then suddenly he was leaping through the air, his blade slicing at Xanatos? head and coming so close that the smell of burning hair assaulted his nostrils.
Xan cursed and whipped around, striking out at Obi-Wan in a graceful but vicious jab that missed ? barely. ?What fun, eh, Obi-Wan?? Xanatos chuckled.
?If you like this sort of thing,? Obi-Wan replied with an elegant lift of his shoulders. ?Me? I prefer a nice glass of wine in front of a fire.?
?That?s always been your problem, Kenobi,? Xan hissed as he took a leisurely swipe at Obi-Wan?s feet. ?You?re boring.?
Obi-Wan flipped backward and landed behind Xanatos with a quick jab at the fallen Jedi?s back, but Xanatos was already twisting out of the way and bringing his saber up underneath Obi-Wan?s arm. Only a last-minute shift of his feet saved the Jedi from the blow.
Xanatos leapt high and landed on a gantry. He peered down at the Jedi, who merely stared up at him, his expression relaxed. ?If you give up now, Kenobi, perhaps we?ll let you live,? Xanatos offered with a cold smile.
Obi-Wan shrugged and lifted his blade in a defensive posture. ?I believe I shall have to refuse your offer, de Crion,? he replied with a dignified bow of his head.
The fallen Jedi laughed softly. ?No matter, I would have killed you anyway,? he called out. Then he threw himself at Obi-Wan suddenly, crashing into him and sending them both sprawling to the floor. Xanatos punched Obi-Wan in the face, who grunted with pain before using his feet for leverage and pushing them both up to a standing position. Obi-Wan brought his blade up in an awkward slice that still managed to hit Xanatos? thigh. The injured combatant did not fall, merely stumbled backward, his blade coming up to block another blow that would have done much more than wound him.
Obi-Wan feinted to the right and then brought his saber up on the left, merely to be met by the crimson blade once again. Both men were covered in sweat now, a look of grim determination on both faces. Obi-Wan?s blue-grey eyes met the brilliant azure gaze of his opponent. ?Why don?t you just leave, Xan?? Obi-Wan asked softly. ?You should know that you?ll be defeated. Leave now and at least you?ll have your life.?
Xanatos laughed and shook his head. ?Ever the Negotiator, my friend,? he taunted. ?Why, if I didn?t know better, I might say you?re a coward.?
With a slight smile, Obi-Wan replied. ?You will believe what you want to believe.?
?Gods, you?re annoying, Kenobi,? Xanatos spat. ?I?ll enjoy killing you if for no other reason than that!?
?You may try,? Obi-Wan said, circling once more.
Then there were no more words, the two men both realizing that the battle must come
Oh my! A twist that Xan wins! And to bring Luke to Vader! Scary!
Poor Obi distracted by the lil'un's cry Poor dear...
Great job! Liked how you had Xan not defile Obi and actually talk to him nice there at the last few seconds of his life.
Leaning down, Xanatos gently kissed the cooling forehead. ?Tell Qui-Gon that I?ve sent you to him,? he said softly. ?Just as he would have wished.?
Mousche- I loved this one! Excellent job of portraying Dooku's evil manipulations.
Laying on the ground in front of him was the headless corpse of Xanatos, his hand still gripping his severed arm. Slim gray wisps rose in curls from the opening atop his neck. Across the room, locks of midnight hair fell over a face that even in death wore a hint of a smirk.
Not the preciouusss head!
VL- The dying Jedi reached up with his last bit of strength and touched the pale, scarred cheek. ?I have failed?,? he murmured in an agonized voice.
Leaning down, Xanatos gently kissed the cooling forehead. ?Tell Qui-Gon that I?ve sent you to him,? he said softly. ?Just as he would have wished.?
They so love one another. [happy sigh]
Wonderful that they were fighting for possession of Luke.
Bravo you two!!!
I will start reading and responding again with this challenge, because if I wanted to get caught up with everything I've missed, I'd never get back into this thread.
Mousche That was brilliant. The scenario was really original and you wrote it beautifully. Obi-Wan's desperation towards the end comes through perfectly. Great work.
VL That was a really cool idea. I liked that in a way they were both just doing their duty, each fighting for their side.
Mousche That was fantastic. I especially loved the beginning. The language, style, characterization...all gold. Very good job.
VL Nooooooooooooo! How could you? Well, at least there was a kiss to make up for your evilness. I it.
Mouche - Very nice, I liked Dooku in there too. Also the sound of the Vig was great and the end...
VL - The kiss, Hahaha! Wonderful, and don't dis your action either, it was wonderful! And the end...
to both of you!
Mousche~ I liked seeing the story from Dooku's pov. I thought the language was wonderful, too. But I hated Obi-Wan finding out about Siri like that!!! I fear my padawan is turning to the dark side.
Vadey~ Shame on you killing Obi-Wan and having Xan steal Luke! Interesting idea, though.
Mousche - Wonderful story!! Wonder if there's more of that one?
Vader - Even though you killed Obi I suppose I'll forgive you because it was a good twist on the story.
Aw, thanks for all your lovely comments, guys. I'm especially glad I made you happy, Kyn. I really wanted to do the old man justice.
VL - How quickly to write these terrific vigs never fails to amaze me. I just love the Obi/Xan banter, and Xan's reverential (is that a word?) treatment of Obi's saber and body just melted my heart. Or it would have if he hadn't just killed the man. And you have nothing to be ashamed of as far as action-writing goes.
And the score is: Xanatos - 1, Obi-Wan - 1. Who will be the next to fall?
That's evil, Mousche!
To Mousche: Wow, am I ever impressed. Now I feel inferior. That was incredible. I rarely see Dooku written that well, and you characterized everyone brilliantly. Dooku's POV on the whole thing just added that extra something that kicked this story up another level of incredibleness (even though I'm pretty sure that's not a word). And Obi-Wan at the end !
To VL: Dialogue--incredible. Idea--original. Tears factor--off the charts! How could you do that to Obi?
Well, I love it anyway. I love the way you had Xanatos treat Obi-Wan as he was dying. And brilliant situation. I wrote my own version of this challenge before reading yours and then realized it was kind of the opposite version of your story.
Well, here it is. I've never written Xan before. I can only hope I did him justice. And this is only my second lightsaber battle ever (the first--well, it will not ever be posted on here, let's just say that)!
When they first brought the captive Jedi before him, Xanatos was seized with an irresistible urge to laugh. The Force worked in mysterious ways indeed?but this time, nothing could have been more fitting.
The Jedi was disheveled and filthy, his face, humble cream tunics, and brown robes all streaked with sweat and the grime of Geonosis?s dusty sands. Limp russet-gold hair, dark with exertion, hung into his eyes and tangled loosely around his shoulders. He looked different?his once-youthful features had hardened and matured, and the bottom of his face was covered by reddish-gold fuzz that almost completely obscured the dimple in his chin. But the straight, stubborn nose was the same, the piercing gray-blue eyes, the firm, disciplined mouth, the calm, dignified acceptance in his features. He didn?t struggle as the Geonosian guards led him roughly into the cavernous room where Xanatos awaited the new captive, but his muscles were tense and ready beneath the quiet veneer of acquiescence. The other man could tell it was only a matter of time. He of all people knew that Obi-Wan Kenobi would never leave a mission unfinished while there was still breath in his body.
Obi-Wan?s eyes widened as they fell on him. ?You!? he gasped, his accented voice, deeper than the last time Xanatos had heard it, blank with shock before he managed to master himself and fell back beneath his calm faÃ§ade.
Xanatos grinned. ?It?s been a long time, hasn?t it, Kenobi?? he asked. ?Since Telos, I believe??
Obi-Wan?s eyes narrowed and followed Xanatos as the fallen Jedi stepped toward him. ?You died on Telos,? he said. His tone was even and reasonable, but Xanatos could hear the disbelief and confusion he was hiding so well behind that negotiator?s face.
?Come now,? Xanatos chided. ?Do you really think a little thing like that would stop me?? Xanatos made a show of studying the other man?s features as he stepped closer. ?You look different, though,? he said. ?Lose the beard, I think. Though I know why you grew it. Makes you look older, and surely the Master of the Chosen One should be more man than boy? Wise, perhaps? Mature?? He let chill creep into his voice. ?Like Qui-Gon??
There was a flicker of reaction in those penetratingly lucid eyes, but Obi-Wan?s calm stayed even and still. ?Qui-Gon Jinn has been dead for ten years,? the Jedi replied quietly.
Xanatos spun away. ?I know,? he bit out. ?I know. He is dead, and my revenge is empty; is that what you are trying to say, Kenobi? Your Jedi platitudes will not work on me. I?ve heard them all already.?
?What are you trying to accomplish here, Xanatos?? Obi-Wan asked.
Xanatos turned back to him. ?Shouldn?t I be asking you the same question??
?I?m tracking a bounty hunter called Jango Fett,? Kenobi said after a moment, his eyes shrewd and perceptive where they were trained on Xanatos?s face. ?Do you know him??
Xanatos laughed. Obi-Wan was not so well-informed as he had thought. ?Well, there are
Wow... Sakura you are an amazing writer.
You captured so much about Xanatos in this, and I loved you desriptions of th fighting styles. I also loved Xanatos's reflections on Obi-Wan, especially this line:
in the pellucid blue-gray of the eyes Xanatos saw all that he was not and could never be. He saw devotion, and clarity, and humility, and an attunement to the Force, to the light, that he could never have hoped to match. He saw the bright spirit that had drawn Qui-Gon to this man, the honor and light that Obi-Wan was forever in the Force?and he hesitated.
SakuraTsukikage - Um, hello? Inferior? You have no reason whatsoever to feel that way.
I love your descriptions, especially of Obi-Wan , and your battle was just living and breathing right off the screen (if that makes sense). I'm no expert, but I think you did an excellent Xanatos portrayal. And that ending - while it was the good guy who won, it was heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time.
Oh wow! Great job there! Poor Xan...thinking that juz joining the Sith would have protected him... gave him extra strength... not so!
Sakura Some marvelous description in that. I loved Xanatos taking Dooku's place, and the seamless melding of some AOTC dialogue in with the rest. You really had me thinking Obi-Wan was a goner there. Fantastic.
If that's inferior, sign me up! I want some!
Loved the whole thing, but I think this captured Obi-Wan perfectly.
?I am not you, Xanatos,? Obi-Wan answered in a whisper. ?And I will cry for you.?
Inferior my eye! That was great!
SakuraTsukikage - Wonderful! It's almost a shame that Obi won, it would be interesting to see what Xan would do in the future with Palpatine... And I also loved how your end was, very bitter sweet. All in all wonderful job!
SakuraTsukikage That was incredible. The battle was very well-written and captivating. I could almost see them fighting and the end was beautiful with Xanatos realising what it means to truly belong to the light. A great response to the challenge.