Saga Obi-Wan Challenge Stories - Closed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Aug 11, 2003.

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  1. SakuraTsukikage Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    Okay, okay, not inferior, not inferior! :p Thanks everyone. [face_blush]
  2. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    ...and in those pellucid blue-gray of the eyes Xanatos saw all that he was not and could never be. He saw devotion, and clarity, and humility, and an attunement to the Force, to the light, that he could never have hoped to match. He saw the bright spirit that had drawn Qui-Gon to this man, the honor and light that Obi-Wan was forever in the Force?and he hesitated.

    Wow! That is the most incredible description of Obi-Wan "in the Force" that I have ever read! =D= =D= =D=

    Obi-Wan?s hands caught his shoulders, steadying him. Xanatos stared blankly into the face that he now knew would be the last thing he would ever see and was surprised to see tears blurring the clarity of the eyes that had caught him at the end. ?I?wouldn?t have-cried for you,? he said, and his voice sounded so weak.

    ?I am not you, Xanatos,? Obi-Wan answered in a whisper. ?And I will cry for you.?


    This is an amazing vignette, Sakura!

    You also capture Xanatos in a manner true to his character!

    This has been a delight to read! =D= @};- =D= @};-

    Thank you for sharing it with us! [:D]
  3. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Mousche

    Wow! Your descriptions were wonderful and gave the whole piece a chilling feel. It was really creepy that Dooku was watching the two of them. Poor Obi-Wan, to be told of Siri that way. Now I have questions? Will he give in to Dooku? Will he go find Siri now? That would be scary.

    VaderLVR

    ?Tell Qui-Gon that I?ve sent you to him,? he said softly. ?Just as he would have wished.?

    Oh my. That was so sad. And now he's taking Luke to Anakin. At least Luke is with Xan.

    Sakura

    He saw devotion, and clarity, and humility, and an attunement to the Force, to the light, that he could never have hoped to match. He saw the bright spirit that had drawn Qui-Gon to this man, the honor and light that Obi-Wan was forever in the Force?and he hesitated.

    I just loved that description.
  4. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    SakuraTsukikage - Very nice. You handled Obi-Wan perfectly and Xan was his usual dashingly delicious self. [face_love]
  5. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    This turned out different than I had intended. I'm going to post it anyway.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------



    The Teacher



    ?You should be dead,? Kenobi said these words over and over. ?You should be dead.?

    The Jedi Master couldn?t believe he was seeing whom he was seeing, or that he was where he thought he was. ?There was an explosion, that?s right,? Kenobi remembered. There had been an explosion on the troop transport that he, Anakin, and their clone troopers were in. Obi-Wan wondered if he had been blown to smithereens and this was - - the afterlife? It could not be heaven, HE would not be in any kind of heaven Obi-Wan could have imagined; neither would the red and black faced Sith he had dispatched ten years earlier. Maybe this was hell.

    ?Of all places, why would I be here?? Kenobi could not figure out why, or how, but he was where he thought he was. It was Naboo; it was ten years earlier.

    ?It must be hell,? Obi-Wan concluded. Why else would he be brought here to face his failure again? Why would he have to see his master?s death all over again? Something else boggled the Jedi?s mind, ?What is Xanatos doing here??

    Everything else was exactly as it had been except for De Crion?s presence. There was the Sith, pacing in front of the laser wall that blocked him from the kneeling Qui-Gon Jinn. Beyond both of those figures was - - Obi-Wan, as he had been, a young brash apprentice horrified at the thought he might not reach beyond the last laser wall before it closed again.

    Xanatos looked as confused as Kenobi did. The last thing he remembered was stepping into a pool of acid. But he wasn?t dead. Or was he? The Dark Jedi tried to find his bearings. There was a strangely tattooed man wielding a double bladed light saber. There was his hated former Master, much older. And there was the brat Kenobi, only seeming a little older. Then there was another man, a Jedi, a few feet away from where he was. What was going on here?

    As the older Obi-Wan looked at this scene, a scene that he had replayed in his mind many times, he remembered exactly what he had been thinking at the time. He didn?t want Qui-Gon to have to fight this dark warrior alone. Even now to his older eyes, he could see how weary Qui-Gon had seemed. He also saw that he had a chance to change history. He decided to take it.

    Xanatos too had decided to take fate into his own hands. If this tattooed man was fighting Qui-Gon, he would help him. If this new Jedi was here to help Qui-Gon, he?d fight that Jedi too.

    Darth Maul took his eyes off of the Jedi he had been staring at through the laser wall to see the two men on the other side of the pit. Who were they, where did they come from? There had only been two Jedi here on Naboo, he was sure of it. Either way it didn?t matter, none of the Jedi would leave here if he had anything to do with it. The old one would be first anyway.

    Obi-Wan heard the shield generator click off, just as he had the first time he had been there. Just as his younger self was doing, he ran towards Qui-Gon and the tattooed Sith. Only the older Obi-Wan was not racing a laser wall closing, he had nothing between himself and the fighters, nothing except - - ?Xanatos get out of my way.? A Force shove pushed the Dark Jedi out of the way, but De Crion wasn?t gotten rid of that easily. Obi-Wan knew this. He activated his light saber and lifted it over his head to block a strike from Xanatos? red blade without even looking. Using the pressure of Xanatos? down stroke Obi-Wan slid under both blades to face his opponent. ?Don?t get in my way Xanatos,? he warned.

    Xanatos had a move of his own. Sliding his blade around he got the strange Jedi?s blade out of a striking position to a spent one. He and Obi-Wan were now shoulder-to-shoulder blades both pointing down and away. The dark Jedi chose then to speak. ?That?s twice you?ve used my name. I do not have the pleasure of knowing your name - - ? He said the next word with d
  6. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :eek: Oddly creepy. Loved it! :D It was cool having young Obi-Wan and the others faced with a muture Obi they didn't recognize. You had Xan's insane determination to kill Qui no matter what, down perfectly. Loved that he was trying even with stumps for hands. :_|
  7. Indra Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2003
    star 3
    Wow, that was certainly something completely different. Loved how the older Obi-Wan protected his other self from Xanatos even when he was dying.
  8. Jaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2005
    star 4
    I got the creepies...
  9. Knight_DLockens Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Really spooky that one was! :D Loved the idea Obi thought it was hallucinating! ;) He would too... "Dreams pass in time..." Yeah...sure they do.

    Great work! :D
  10. DarthMousche Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2005
    star 3
    Whoa...that was very strange, but in a good way. :) I love that noone recognized older Obi (must be the beard - :cool:) and that things turned out the original way anyway, with him having to protect his younger self.

    Great job! :)
  11. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    [face_blush] Sorry I took so long to say thanks for the responces.

    THANKS!

    I was pleasently surprised at how creepy people thought it was. I think it bled over from the Halloween story.

    I was thinking of it as Obi having a neer death experience.

  12. jedipati Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2000
    star 3
    I liked that last story. Just a quick up before the holidays
  13. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Just a quick request. A new Obi Challenge Story Thread is now open...

    Could all challenge stories please be posted in the new thread to avoid much confusion on my part!

    Thank you!

    :)
  14. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Locking this so people don't get confused. :)
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