Saga Obi-Wan Challenge Stories - Closed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Aug 11, 2003.

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  1. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Excellent! :) I've told you this several times already but you show so much potential! It would be a shame if you didn't explore this more. Glad you tackled these two, it had crossed my mind but I decided to try something different for a change! :p

    The changes you made with froggys help only served to flesh out what was already a well written piece. I know you worked hard on it, and it shows. Hope you try your hand at somemore vignettes! :)
  2. PaddyJuan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful job, Bekah!

    I still love the nickname Kobi!
  3. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  4. Bekah_K Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    I just wanted to say Thank you! I'm really happy that you all liked it.

    I was really nervous about posting this, but am glad I did. :)

    ~Bek
  5. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Big thanks to obi_ew for reading this sucker over! :D

    NEVER IN VAIN

    Amor lo voles, ed io a l?altrui peso
    Seppi ch?Amor cosa mai voles indarno.
    Love willed it, and I knew from the distress of others that Love never willed anything in vain.

    ?Sonnet III, John Milton

    The greatest thing you?ll ever learn
    Is just to love
    And be loved in return

    --?Nature Boy?, Frank Sinatra

    ?Eewwwww!! They?re kissing!!? declared eight-year-old Garen Muln. ?Gross!!?

    Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced around nervously. ?Garen, hurry up before someone catches us!?

    But Garen?s attention was riveted to the holoscreen. ?His tongue is almost down her throat! That?s disgusting!! Who?d want to do that with a girl??

    ?Maybe he likes her.?

    ?Hey, I like girls, too, but I?d never do that with them!?

    ?Will you just hurry up?!?

    ?Okay, okay!? Garen stuck his head back into the Holonet terminal?s interior, making it look as though he had just become a tasty meal for the maw of wiring and circuitry.

    The plan had been simple enough. Although the Jedi Temple had full Holonet access, initiates were only allowed to view news channels. Anything else required access codes, which in turn required special permission from supervising Masters. And the Galactic Maximum Games, broadcast live over Holonet, were not considered ?newsworthy? enough to make it to any of the ?respectable? news channels. Not even brief daily results would flash across the holoscreen.

    Therefore Garen, being Garen, had decided that the only way to catch updates would be to slice into the Temple?s Holonet access, cross a few wires, splice a few cables, and voila! The live broadcast itself would triumphantly flare to life on the holoscreen. But there were, as usual with Garen?s plans, a few snags.

    ?Are those people still kissing?? Garen asked, his voice slightly muffled.

    ?Still kissing.?

    The image on the screen flickered briefly and then returned to normal.

    ?How about now??

    ?Still kissing.?

    Garen pulled his head out to glance at the screen again. ?Must be a romance channel.? He made a face. ?Gross. All that love stuff.? Sticking his head back into the wiring, he added, ?Not my thing!?

    Obi-Wan laughed. ?Don?t worry, none of the girls like you anyway.?

    ?I know. They all like you!?

    ?Huh??

    The holoscreen image abruptly changed from young lovers to an adrenaline-high youth hurtling down a snowy slope on a hoverboard. Garen crawled out of the terminal and whooped in triumph. ?Check out those moves!?

    ?Garen!? Obi-Wan prodded. ?What girls like me??

    The dark-haired boy grinned. ?Like I told you, all of them.?

    Obi-Wan looked slightly frightened. ?Why??

    ?Because you?re dreamy!? Garen squealed in fair imitation of a girly voice. ?Whoa! Did you see that Rodian?s triple-loop??

    ?I am not dreamy,? Obi-Wan insisted, mussing his ginger hair with both hands as if that would help prove his point.

    ?Well, that?s what they all say,? Garen replied absently, his brown eyes glued to the loop-de-loops of the hoverboarders. ?Except Ravella.?

    ?Ravella? What does she say??

    ?That you?re gross.?

    ?I am not gross! How do you know what she says, anyway??

    Garen flashed a charming grin, the kind an eight-year-old should have no need of. ?I have my way of getting information.?

    Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Ravella was a year younger than them, but her sharp tongue had made her famous among the older initiates. Her opinions of Obi-Wan had made her even more famous. ?Who cares about her??

    ?Maybe you should. She likes you.?

    ?What?!?

    Garen shrugged. ?I don?t know. Girls are weird. They always mean the opposite of what they say. So when she calls you gross, she?s actually saying she likes you.?

    ?That doesn?t make any sense.?

    ?Girls never do.? Mischief spread across Garen?s face as he began to chant in a sing-song voice. ?Obi and Ravella, sittin? in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N?run!!?

    Ten seconds later,
  6. Bekah_K Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    Awesome Jade! That was a unique perspective, and fun to read. Very well written.
  7. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Garen was too funny! [face_laugh] You did a wonderful job showing what great friends they were. Especially enjoyed seeing him and Anakin make peace and have a comman understanding. :) Almost forgot the main thought I had! :p Lovely to see a human side to him. [face_love]
  8. Sheila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    That was wonderful Bekah. It is hard to believe that was your first fic. Now that you have shown what you can do oe will get her cattle prod out and encourage more out of you in the future, believe you me. [face_laugh]

    I really liked your description of Xan and his relationship with Obi-Wan. I also loved the beginning with Obi-Wan and his friends. The descriptions were terrific and I thought your dialog was great. Being someone who has only posted a couple of things, dialog has me completely baffled. I was very impressed with how you handled it.

    Great job. I hope to see more out of you real soon. :)
  9. Antigone Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    I can think of no other word to describe ALL of the snippets here, but - wonderful! It's so amazing how one action or emotion or phrase can carry so many meanings throughout a lifetime. Kudos to o_e for suggesting it.

    I think I might join in on this one. Should be fun.

    Keep up the great jobs, guys and gals.
  10. Sheila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Great vignette Jade. I loved how you portrayed Garen and Obi-Wan's friendship over the years and Garen giving Obi-Wan advice on girls. I liked how Obi-Wan's relationship with Ravella and her loss helped him to understand Anakin a little more.

    And she?ll give him hell the whole damn time. [face_laugh]


    Great job! :)
  11. Thalia_Nox Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
    Great job to both Bekah and Jade!

    To Bekah, I love any story with Xan, but yours was just great! Just enough AU to be fascinating, but not enough to deviate any large plot points for the prequels. Great job and write more!

    To Jade, wonderful post! We saw all of Obi's levels and enjoyed them. Love truely is the greatest thing!
  12. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
  13. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Bekkah- That was absolutely amazing for a first story. You have to write more!

    Jade- I loved the humor as well as the serious moments. Especially the friendship you portrayed!
  14. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Antigone Welcome! Please do join in! :) I've decided not to place an end date on this challenge yet so anyone out there thinking about posting please feel free to do so. Just send me a PM so I can change the title bar. ;)
  15. Shaindl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Bekah_K - fantastic job! Seems OE has sparked the creative juices in a lot of people with her portrayal of Xan. I love how you explored the relationships that existed between Qui, Obi and Xan.

    Jade - well, if I didn't like you already, I would now. I think everyone knows of my little, um, obsession, with Garen - and this was such a great exploration of his character. The deep friendship between the two was palpable. So touching how he explained why Obi's love wasn't enough for Anakin.

    Great job, ladies! Any more about to step up?

    Shaindl
  16. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Shaindl--I'm guessing you liked the bit about Garen's leather-clad body. I decided not to kill him off just so I could put that in [face_love]
  17. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    The Sands of Time -- A Drabble



    Ben stared at the ground in front of him, then stretched out with the Force. As the sand started to swirl, he thought back.

    * * *

    "Visualize the shape," Qui-Gon instructed, "and allow the Force to guide the individual particles."

    Obi-Wan watched the blue grains flow up from the floor to form a perfect sphere. When he looked over to his mentor, though, it fell apart.

    "Patience, young padawan. Learn that, and you will be able to create far more complex patterns."

    * * *

    "What's that?"

    Ben's concentration faltered, and the Jedi Temple collapsed. "Ah, Luke, does your uncle know you've come out here?"
  18. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Wow! Snuck this in on me! ;) Very powerful! Amazing that so much can be said using so few words. Must admit I was intrigued and checked out your others. Clever and imaginative! :) Thank you for sharing with us.
  19. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Drabbo--NICE!! I love how you just casually show he can create the Jedi Temple but can still easily lose his concentration. Next time, don't sneak in--make an entrance, so we can all extoll praises on your behalf :D

    *notices OE's post time* Don't you sleep?! (this, coming from me) :p
  20. Shaindl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Amazing what only a 100 words can do. Incredible job, Drabbo!

    And Jade's right - come and introduce yourself in the thread on the WRF so we can heap praise on you.

    Jade - why, yes, I did rather enjoy that image, thank you. May I ask a question? Why didn't you bring Garen back at the end to talk with Obi about love there in the Force? Just wondering...

    Shaindl
  21. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Doh! My mistake! :p Actually, I thought about having him there with the other three Blues Brothers ( [face_laugh] I crack myself up sometimes). Then I thought, well, he's been dead for a while, and yet he'll always be there since Obi-Wan did listen to his advice about Anakin. I wanted to get that across along with having one of Obi-Wan's light-hearted jabs at Garen, like the kind he's always done. That way, you have Garen's influence and their friendship all in just one sentence.

    Okay, and I thought it might be nice if Anakin had the last word [face_blush] But just this once!
  22. obi_ew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Okay, and I thought it might be nice if Anakin had the last word :eek:
  23. Drabbo_Fett Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks for the compliments! :)
  24. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Fantastic work Bekah, Jade, and Drabbo. Your works were amazing, beautiful and distinct. ;)

    This thread has had a huge response, obi_ew. Congratulations. :D
  25. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Great job Drabbo- I'm going to have to check out your other work
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