Saga Obi-Wan Challenge Stories - Closed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Aug 11, 2003.

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  1. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Mmmm, an Obi-Wan sundae...well done, diane! :)

    I hardly think Xan is a pathetic lifeform. More like a [censor censor] :D What a big heart Obi-Wan has, to help out Xan like that! [face_love]
  2. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful piece, o_e. :) A great look at the contrasts between Obi-Wan and Xanatos. ;) Great job!
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Too many good stories to leave it back in the stacks....
  4. jdaltton Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2003
    I hope this type of "vignettes" can be posted here. :)

    (Oh yeah, note that the technology in SW is greatly superior to our own.)


    Teaching By Example

    _As the lights in the theater fade out, the Jedi fall silent. For a couple of moments, there is nothing -- only pin-drop silence._

    Then the stage steadily brightens until it is visible. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Depa Billaba enter the stage from the left, talking pleasantly, paying no attention to the audience. They are halfway across the stage when Obi-Wan suddenly looks at the audience.

    Obi-Wan (to audience)
    We were talking.

    Depa (to audience)
    We were talking.

    Obi-Wan
    Way back then,

    Depa (_points a thumb at Obi-Wan_)
    when he was young and foolish

    Obi-Wan
    we were talking

    Depa
    about the Force. I was lecturing

    Obi-Wan
    and I was listening.

    Depa
    And then it happened.

    Obi-Wan
    And then it happened.

    The theater suddenly dims and brightens again, all in the space of a blink of the eye; this time, the stage is set completely in black and white. Obi-Wan and Depa enter from the right. They?re arguing furiously. Obi-Wan notices the audience.
    Obi-Wan (to Depa)
    They?re listening.

    Depa looks around and, after a couple of seconds, spots the audience.
    Depa
    (_to Obi-Wan_) They will tell us what is right. (_to audience_) Will you tell us what is right?

    Obi-Wan (snottily)
    I know what is right.

    Depa (to audience)
    He thinks we shouldn?t use the Force

    Obi-Wan (to audience)
    for frivolous purposes. It?s not only morally wrong, it?s very dangerous --

    Depa
    Plug your ears. He?s starting a rant.

    Obi-Wan
    Using the Force frivolously means that you have no respect for it. You wave your glass of water -- sorry, chocolate -- over here instead of going over there to get it. (_pushes up his hands, palms facing the audience, so everyone can see them_) What?s wrong with your hands? They have a purpose, they?re meant to be used. Just like you don?t use your eyes to hear and your ears to see, you shouldn?t use the Force to do something that are meant to be done with your hands. What if everyone suddenly decided that they?ll use _only_ the Force and no hands? What if we forget how to use our hands because of that?!

    Depa
    And I disagreed.

    Obi-Wan
    And she disagreed.

    Depa
    He wouldn?t budge.

    Obi-Wan (defensively)
    She wouldn?t give an explanation.

    Depa
    He thought I was being stubborn.

    Obi-Wan
    I thought it was her pretentious ?Master?-ego at play again.

    Depa
    I told him to go change because we were going running.

    Obi-Wan
    I was enraged.

    The stage abruptly turns colorful again. Obi-Wan and Depa are looking off at an angle to the right, as if they had been watching a holomovie until now. They look at the audience.
    Depa (to audience)
    He hates exercising.

    Obi-Wan (to audience)
    I hate exercising.

    Depa
    He pounded all the way up the stairs. He wouldn?t take the tubelift because he couldn?t stand the sight of me.

    Obi-Wan (angrily)
    I was being punished for being right!

    Depa
    And then it happened.

    Obi-Wan
    And then it happened.

    Depa
    Three years later?

    Obi-Wan
    When I was older than wiser

    Depa
    but still adamant

    Obi-Wan
    I was abducted. By pirates, the Redgals. They blindfolded me.

    Stage turns black and white again. Siri Tachi, a rectangular black cloth hanging over one eye, held up by a pirate band around her head, smiles sinisterly and ties a black cloth over his eyes.
    Obi-Wan (to audience)
    I couldn?t see. They threw me in a dungeon.

    Stage dims and brightens -- the scene has changed. We?re now in a dungeon. Depa is nowhere to be seen. Siri pushes him down onto the floor and puts binders around his wrists and ankles.
    Obi-Wan (to audience)
    I wasn?t worried.

    Depa (v.o.)
    He wasn?t worried.

    Obi-Wan
    I was bored. I couldn?t see.

    Depa (v.o.)
    We had it planned.

    Obi-Wan
    To find the pirates. _(pause
  5. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    If it's Obi-centric than it's welcome! :) Wow! I need to go back and re-read this, but it was very different and interesting. I'll be interested to see what some of the other readers took away from it. Thank you for sharing! :) I hope to get more Obi-lovers involved.
  6. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Hi Daltton!

    Very different - have you read or seen Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett? It's my favourite play and that's what this reminded me of. More soon?

    Shaindl
  7. jdaltton Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2003
    Shaindl: It's on my reading list, but I haven't yet read it. I read a lot of plays and screenplays, but the one that probably influenced me the most in writing this is "Six Degrees of Seperation" by John Guare.
  8. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    That was wonderful jdaltton. Such a unique way to explore one of Obi-Wan's beliefs and see both sides of the arguement. I really enjoyed it and hope to see more from you real soon. :)
  9. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Wow, jdaltton! [face_shocked] That was very well-written and unique! :) Wonderful job.
  10. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    I guess I'll just post this now. [face_blush]


    Response to Challenge #2

    () * ()

    'Pathetic life forms.'

    That's what he had called them.

    Obi-Wan rubbed at his eyes, as if the movement could somehow alleviate the dry itch, the heaviness of the shadowed lids. But his gaze remained hooded and defiled by thin scarlet veins.

    The clan members were encompassing a raging fire, their humbly clothed bodies huddled around the flame. They leaned against each other in mutual support, their heads titled in weariness.

    Obi-Wan could detect, without the tiniest aid of Force-enhanced senses, that they were all asleep.

    Usually, such collective repose would project an air of serene calm.

    But the atmosphere was riddled with haunting emotion: hope, desperation? fear. Layer upon layer of bone-deep apprehension, radiating in murky, dark waves from each tired soul.

    'Pathetic..'

    Pathetic?


    He allowed himself only a second's glance at his companion before turning his focus to the purely black sky.

    A rich voice permeated his hazy thoughts, fresh and piercing in his memory.

    'They do not understand us, Padawan. Their way of life couldn't be more different from ours. And can you honestly say you understand them?'

    Obi-Wan sighed, crossing his arms across his chest as a strong breeze blew through their makeshift camp, crackling the blaze, vibrant reds and oranges whipping against an ebony backdrop.

    Despite his struggle to stay centered, he couldn?t stop himself from straying to Qui-Gon's face. The craggy visage was bathed in a sickly saffron light, the moon's glow pooling in lines and leaving his pallor pale.

    He was stretched on the forest floor, clad in mere tunics, his cloak given to a young woman among the threadbare group. Obi-Wan could detect the poorly suppressed shivers wracking the powerful body.

    He sealed his eyes shut.

    Gods?It could've been so much worse.

    () * ()

    One Day Earlier

    Obi-Wan could barely contain his vexation, every feeling within him revolting against the decision.

    Qui-Gon stood some feet away, speaking with the 'leader' of the informal group.

    How can he do this? The apprentice wondered incredulously.

    The planet was tiny, an overlooked pinpoint on galactic maps. When Master and Padawan were assigned to aid with post-war negotiation and provide much-needed mediation, they were required to do extensive research into most aspects of J'Hlen.

    A very pivotal detail of the long-wintered world was a small division in the populace. When the first settlers arrived, to escape whatever grievances they found in their former homes, they agreed to abandon the technology of neighboring systems and relish in a natural existence.

    For a while, it was well-accepted, and the stoic philosophy was adopted throughout the relatively new land. Transport was limited to the sturdy backs of large animals, clothing and style a distant concern, ailments cured through herbal medicines.

    But the peace blanketed like the rampant snow throughout J'Hlen was ruptured by a steady flow of outsiders. Some eagerly participated in the basic, clean rigors, but others were dissatisfied with the lack of many niceties.

    Slowly, J'Hlen became victim of an unwilling evolution, and while they began as intruders, the faction developed into the majority, leaving loyal followers of the original practices labeled extremists. Tension grew in passing years, until finally the welling bitterness and resentment culminated into a revolt--then war.

    In the end, those dedicated to J'Hlen's original ways were again made to bend to technological advances or risk being wiped out entirely by their opposition.

    Except for a collection of die-hard patriots, who made their voices heard through a series of explosions scattered throughout the capital.

    The last, and most violent, of their demonstrations erupted during a conference at a humble two-chambered building where talks were taking place. Qui-Gon, sensing the disaster a split second in advance, shielded Ob
  11. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    jdallton That was quite unique. It had a certain beat and I kept thinking it needed music. Hope to see more of your work! And I'm eagerly awaiting your next chapter!

    LE That was wonderful and heart-wrenching. Incoherent!!! Never that. I liked how Obi-Wan's viewpoint changed with time and experience. From a pathetic lifeform joke to anger and to acceptance of his own failings. Great job!
  12. Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 4
    Wow! Such wonderful stories! I'll start from the beginning.

    dianethx:
    I don't think Obi was very pleased to hear that he was to be dessert! I wouldn't be either, unless it was a different kind than what those cat things wanted! I'm glad to see that Qui-Gon took it all in stride though, and he even seemed to enjoy the discomfort Obi felt! Nicely done!

    obi-ew:
    That was cute. Maybe that rescue will help turn Xani back? Who knows, but that was very well done! But then again, it was coming from you!

    jdaltton:
    Very unique. A very interesting way to show contrasting POV's. Well done!

    LuvEwan:
    I wouldn't call that incoherant. Rather, I would call it well written, and an interesting look at how getting to know someone can make you more understanding. Very nice!

    --later--
  13. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    wonderful as always! :)
  14. ShrunkenJedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 5
    jdalton, I really liked the play, it was very lyrical. It was almost like a narrative poem, but as I said I enjoyed it, and poetry is usually NOT my cup of tea.

    And LuvEwans' had a lot of power and skillful writing!

    It just so happens that I had posted an unrelated Obi viggie in my Ep.3-era AU fic, which is in a link in my sig, for anyone who wants to check it out. It has one really teeny tiny 'spoiler', and as I was completely unable to avoid it many, many times on TF.N and I never go into spoiler-allowed forums, just about everyone should be ok. You have been warned, though. ;)
  15. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    What a wonderful portrait of growth that was LE. You perfectly portrayed the impatience and naive certainty of Obi-Wan's youth and the rather harsh lesson he endured to teach him understanding and empathy. Great job as usual. :)
  16. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    jdaltton that is not the typical contribution, but it was very thought provoking- well done!

    LE nothing wrong with that post. It ia always best to teach thru experience!
  17. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
  18. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Great job, LE! But you know I think that of all your work. :) Not to judge is a lesson we all need to learn at some point, isn't it? Lovely job showing Obi-Wan doing that.

    Shaindl
  19. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Here's the new challenge! Everyone is welcome to join in! :)

    A Halloween or just a 'spooky' theme involving Obi-Wan. It could involve how he would react to a frightening or unbelievable situation, etc.

  20. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  21. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Okay. Heh heh. Here goes. [face_blush]


    Forget

    By LuvEwan

    )(

    Qui-Gon woke quickly, as he always did, having a smooth transition from sleep to crisp alertness, glad for the respite but eager to begin the day.

    He drew back the sheets and reached for his robe, wrapping it over his nightclothes, then tying the sash loosely.

    The morning sun strewn through the open curtains and warmed his face as he glanced out at Coruscant's already bustling cityscape.

    The Master stretched with a yawn before heading down the shadowed hallway, his toes sinking into the plush carpet with every step.

    He stopped at the first door, unable to quell the sweet smile that touched his mouth.

    Obi-Wan was lying on his back, head tilted to the side, one hand clutching his thin Padawan braid, the other resting on his bare stomach. The invading glow of the fresh day spilled lovingly on his skin, honeyed and soft, surrounded by snowy white bed linen.

    But this image of peace was fractured by the crease deepening between his brows.

    Qui-Gon frowned, stepping inside the room.

    Obi-Wan was not inclined to his Master's preference of early rising, and his drapes were closed to prevent the sun from rousing him, so that the small quarters were a melding of shadow and pale, meager light around this time.

    Despite his bright disposition, Obi-Wan liked to be in the dark.

    Qui-Gon stood beside his bed, running his fingers through the silk riot of ginger hair.

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan moaned. A deep, guttural sound that eerily permeated the silence..

    Qui-Gon withdrew, but soon found that he couldn't be the cause of his student's distress, for Obi-Wan continued to groan, his lips moving in silent, desperate speech as he writhed in his sheets.

    Qui-Gon touched his forehead. "Obi-Wan?"

    "Mmmmph?no?no?" Came the shaky plea, tears beginning to stream from his sealed eyes. He gripped his midsection as though in terrible pain.

    "Stop this!" Qui-Gon shouted in a jarringly authoritative voice, grasping his arms.

    The younger man woke with a breathless gasp. He sat up rim-rod straight and turned frenzied, watery eyes on his mentor. "Red. R-Red." He whispered hoarsely. "Buzzing red."

    Qui-Gon pulled him against his chest. "Not again, Obi-Wan." He said with a long-suffering sigh, rubbing the strained muscles of the bare back.

    Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut and forced the grim vestiges of dream from his mind.

    "Enough of this." Qui-Gon stroked his hair. "What did I tell you?" He prompted gently.

    Obi-Wan swallowed. "T-To forget."

    The Master pulled back and cupped a smooth, tear-stained cheek. "That's right." He saw the bleached pallor of the Padawan's face; he shook his head briefly in response. "It's very foolish of you to hold onto these nightmares."

    Obi-Wan dropped a hand slowly from Qui-Gon's arm, to brush, trembling, over his stomach. "It f-felt so real." He admitted, unshed moisture glinting in his azure eyes.

    "But it's not." There was a strong, unwavering vein of conviction in his tone. "So you must not let it bother you. Forget."

    Obi-Wan glanced away. A quick pulse of objection went through him, but was gone before he could consider it.

    Which was silly. Very silly, he told himself. Why would he rebel against the truth? His Master wouldn't deceive him. His Master cared about him.

    And he felt a swell of buoyancy within him, not studying it too closely for fear it would be unmasked as shallow, then smiled. "I won't let it bother me, Master. I promise you."

    Qui-Gon squeezed his knee. "I'm glad to hear it."

    Obi-Wan watched as the man departed, the door sliding shut to provide him the privacy to change from his sleep pants. He stayed in a still position for several minutes, letting the security of reality lull him, and the nonsensical apparitions soon faded.

    He crossed his arms when an abrupt chill swirled around his bed, like a tiny disruption in the atmosphere, or?or the slight stir of air created when a person stood, though he had not moved an inch.

    Not an inch.

    )(

  22. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Oh that was amazing LE! :eek: I truly had no clue what was going on until the very end! Brilliant! Crappy you said? Huh! * wanders off marveling at such talent* :)
  23. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Yow :eek: Very chilling. True, you have no idea what's going on until the very end!! :eek:
  24. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Wow, that was chilling. Gave me shivers. Boy, you are good at ghost stories...so Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were the ghosts in the story. If I have a nightmare tonight, I'm blaming you!!!

    Great job!!!
  25. Lurkalidth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 2
    L_E:

    Wow! Some very nice writing here, and a unique concept. I especially enjoyed how you incrementalized Obi's ghost-like status by way of your various physical descriptions. One place you have him looking ghostly pale; another place he's limp and cold (like a corpse)! Kudos!

    And the ending...it sort of makes the reader wonder just *how* many cycles of remembering-forgetting have Jinn and Obi-Wan have undergone.

    Thx for sharing this. :D
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