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Obi-wans bad day

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Wampasmak, Apr 26, 2000.

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  1. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Ok, now that I've got Tales of Mokk Hai'h rolling and my next fanfic is in the planning stages, I'm going to post an idea I've been toying with for some time. That's right, I'm jumping on the Obi-Torture bandwagon. And I'm doing it with a pogo stick.
    Obi-Wans bad day

    "Obi-wan!" yelled Qui-gon through the fresher' door. "Are you allright?"

    "Yes, I'm fine. Just trimming my hair." came the reply. Suddenly there was the snap-hiss of a lightsaber being turned on.

    "Obi-wan I've told you before that is NOT a good idea. Use the trimming shears."

    "Oh, nonsense Master, I'll be fine. You just..."


    "Padawan! are you allright?! What was that?" Qui-Gon kicked the door open.

    To his relief, Obi-wan was standing unharmed against the far wall. As the saber was deactivated, Qui-gon noticed the mirror. It was shattered into a million pieces.

    "Obi-wan. You are in deep poodoo."

    "Why, Master?"

    "You just broke a mirror. That's bad luck."

    "That's just a superstition, it's not true."

    Qui-gon smiled. "We'll see. Now get this cleaned up."

    Later, as Obi-wan prepared to leave, Qui-gon pleaded with him to take the day off from his studys.

    "Really, Master I'll be fine. That bad luck stuff is not real."

    As Obi wan closed the door, Qui-gon said, "I have a very, very, very, very, very, very, very...

    Five minutes later.

    very, very, very bad feeling about this."


    Yes, I can do humor, too. I'm multi-talented.
  2. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Ugh, FIVE fanfics to juggle...

    [This message has been edited by Wampasmak (edited 04-26-2000).]
  3. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 13, 1999
    I must say, this looks very promising. Please continue!
  4. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    Interesting use for a light saber! Can Obi-Wan shave with it, too? I'll be reading more to find out what sort of bad day Obi-Wan has. Gosh, I hope he ends up in the infirmary at the end of it!
  5. Darth McClain

    Darth McClain Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2000
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jane Jinn:
    Can Obi-Wan shave with it, too?
    Can he?

  6. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    More posts coming soon, people. Possibly tomarrow.
  7. Katri Tai

    Katri Tai Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 26, 2000
    Hey! It's tomorrow..
    (Casual glance for a new post...)
  8. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Tomorrow is a very broad term.

    Obi-wan strolled down the hallway, thinking of his masters words. We'll see. did he know something he didn't? No, that was ridiculous, there was no such thing as luck. Where did Qui-gon get such ideas?


    A door slammed into his face.

    "Oh, sorry." said someone as they walked past, he didn't see who it was.

    Maybe...nah, it was just a coincidence

    Sabers clashed. Blue against orange. Obi-wan sparred with another student, one who had just moved up to advanced lightsabers. What was his name? Oh, Padawan Kinl. Obi-wan feinted left, spun on his heel and came around in a barely blocked strike at his opponents side. Kinl laughed, then swung his lightsaber at Obi-wans head.

    "Hah! If THIS is advanced lightsabers, I may have to move on to expert." Block, feint, strike. block, feint, strike. It became a dance, an endless battle of wills. Block, feint, strike. Block, feint, screech! Huh?
    Ok...block...feint...screech? where did that come from? Obi-wan turned his head. A trio of Aviols had stirred from atop the nearby wall, heading straight for him! in that moment of distraction, Kinl whipped his saber around, stinging Obi-wans side and ending the match. As he laughed, the Aviols soared over Obi-wan, making a low screaming sound. Wait a second.. thought Obi-wan, Aviols only make that sound when they're about to... A huge pile of aviol dung landed squarly on his head.
    Hmmp, maybe Qui-gon had something there...

    BTW, this story is made in short, rapid posts.

    [This message has been edited by Wampasmak (edited 04-28-2000).]
  9. Jewel

    Jewel Jedi Youngling

    Apr 27, 2000
    LOL!! Loving it!
  10. Fallon

    Fallon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Mar 31, 2000
    Haha, funny. Another story that I think should have been called, "Obi-Wan and the Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day". I wonder what tragedy shall fall upon our companion next? Keep up the good work.

  11. JediCandy

    JediCandy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 24, 2000
    --snort--snicker--snicker (duck, Obi, duck!
    "Where?" splat!!_

    Thanks, I needed that.
  12. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Now things get good!

    After cleaning himself off, Obi-wan headed for the market. He was supposed to pick up some things for his master, and he wanted to do it before things got any worse.


    But maybe he would get something to eat first.

    He stepped into the first diner he saw and ordered a lite lunch. Maybe the aviols had been a coincidence after all. This bad luck stuff was pure nonsense.

    The waiter arrived with his food, and Obi-wan brought out his wallet. Let's see here, Qui-gon gave me 200 credits for his stuff, and I have 55 credits left, so I can afford a tip of...

    His thoughts were interuppted when a black felinex leaped onto the table hissing. Startled, Kenobi fell back in his chair. The waiter let out a cry before falling on the table, launching Obi-wans lunch into his face. As the waiter picked himself up, another man bent over him quickly before taking off. Obi-wan wiped the hot stew of his face and looked for his wallet. It was gone! The man that had bent over him ran down the street, the felinex following him. It had been an act! He had been robbed!

    "Stop that man!" he tried to yell at the waiter, but it came out more as, "som tha moa!" He carefully placed a hand on his face. It was swollen!

    "Wha wa hin ha su?" he asked with growing horror.

    "Um, Gole meat, Hurpk juice, Crosta spice,-"

    "ROSTA MICE?!?!" Obi-wan exclaimed. He was highly allergic to that! I could have sworn I ordered it with no Crosta. He looked down the street where the thief had disappeared. At least I didn't have to pay for it he thought.

    "I...guess I'm not getting a tip, am I?" The waiter asked.

    His mouth not in working order, Obi-wan responded by smacking the man senseless.

    Obi's lost it!

    [This message has been edited by Wampasmak (edited 04-29-2000).]
  13. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Thisa no belonga on page three!
  14. Naboo1386

    Naboo1386 Jedi Youngling

    Apr 25, 2000
    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
  15. Jedi Erica Amidala

    Jedi Erica Amidala Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 16, 1999
    LOL! Poor Obi!
  16. Ejedir

    Ejedir Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 16, 2000
    This is soooooooo funny! Obi-torturers always come up with new ways to almost kill our favorite Padawan. Keep Going! POST MORE!
  17. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    I'm safe!! Obi-wan thought as he walked toward the Jedi Temple. It didn't matter that his face was swollen to twice its normal size, It didn't matter that 255 credits had been stolen from him. He was almost to the infirmary and then nothing else could happen to him. Just a few steps...

    An out of control air taxi zoomed toward him, driven by a student pilot. It slammed into him, sending him flying through a window. Obi-wan had just enough time to notice the healers around him before he flew across the infirmary and landed on a table of filled syringes.

    Obi-wan was tired.
    Obi-wan was bouncing off the walls.
    Obi-wan had to hit the fresher'.
    Obi-wan was...

    "Well," the healer said. "You've got a stimulant, a tranquilizer, a laxative and about another dozen concoctions in you, your face is swollen to gigantic proportions, you have a couple cracked ribs, several deep cuts and more bruises than I can count. but otherwise you're fine." The healer smiled. "What, did you break a mirror or something?"

    Obi-wan shot him the worst look he could muster.

    Oh, so short! I'm sorry, but I'll be back with another short post every day!

    [This message has been edited by Wampasmak (edited 05-01-2000).]
  18. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    It's not over yet. Don't worry! It's only like 1 o'clock, there's still plenty of bad luck left for Obi-wan Kenobi.
  19. Ejedir

    Ejedir Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 16, 2000
    "Did he break a mirror or something?" I'd say so! Write more soon, I hope the other eleven hours are big on Obi-torture!
  20. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2000
    Loving it! LOL post more!
  21. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 18, 2000
    I look forward to more of Obi-Wan's Bad Day, a humorous look at Obi-torture.
  22. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Page 4?!?! *calm yourself. When you are calm, at peace...* I'm not even going to ask.


    "I hope those chemicals don't interact wrong." said the healer.

    "They shouldn't." Said
    another voice. "But you can never tell with him."

    "Should I call Master Jinn?"

    "Yes, I think that would be wise." said the second voice, which Obi-wan identified as An-Paj.

    He tried to move...and couldn't. As his guests left, he tried to speak, but with similar results. After a while, he got up enough strength to lift his arm and push the button to raise the head of the bed. {Authors Note: We all know what's coming here, right? I know, I know, old joke. sorry.}

    The bed went up, up...stop. He tried to raise his hand, but only succeeded in moving it slightly, pushing the button to raise the foot of the bed. As his feet came up to meet his head, Obi-wan tried desperately to think about something more pleasant

    Fifteen minutes later, when Qui-gon managed to extricate his padawan from the carnivorous hospital bed, Obi-wans back was on fire.

    "What did I tell you?" Qui-gon said with a smirk. "Bad luck."

    Obi-wan sighed. "Whatever. Just take me home."

    It's maybe...4 o'clock now. More to come!

    [This message has been edited by Wampasmak (edited 05-03-2000).]
  23. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Apr 18, 2000
    MORE, MORE, MORE...and I thought I had a bad day.
  24. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    Hahahahahaha!!!! Toooooooo funny!!!!!

    Post more please
  25. Wampasmak

    Wampasmak Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 6, 2000
    Time for more torture!!

    "And then the air taxi hit me, and-"

    "Allright, allright already." Said Qui-gon, amused. "I think I get the point. You had a bad day."

    "BAD!?!?" Obi-wan exclaimed, breathing heavily. "It passed bad several hours ago!"

    "Well, it's ok now. Nothing bad can happen in this apartment." Qui-gon said. "Maybe this will teach you to use the trimming shears next time."

    After meditating for a while, Obi-wan got up to check the holo news. No harm in that he thought.

    "-Palace guards." The news popped on midsentence. "In other news today, this was the scene outside Emul's diner today as-"

    Obi-wan turned of the holovid in horror as a picture of himself, face swollen to hideous proportions and covered in stew, appeared. On the news. The news all his friends watched. And, more importantly, the news all his not so much friends watched. And then he heard the most horrible sound he could imagine. The comm unit rang.

    "Did they finally stop calling?" Qui-gon asked as Obi-wan dropped into his chair at the dinner table.

    "Yeah, the masses are silent." Obi-wan replied.

    "Well, cheer up. The day's almost over."

    "I haven't heard the end of this, you know that don't you?" Obi-wan said as he sprinkled pepper on his hemk steak. "They'll be talking about this for a long time. I'll NEVER hear the end of it."

    "Everyone has a bad day once in a while. You're making too much of this." He pointed to the spice cabinet. "Could you get me the Miju salt?"

    "Sure." said Obi-wan as he got up. He reached up in the cabinet.

    "Perhaps after dinner we'll-" Qui-gon stopped as the container of Crosta Spice fell out of the cabinet and broke all over Obi-wan.

    "Go back to the healers." he finished.

    I'll be wrapping this up soon. Maybe four more posts.
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