Beyond - Legends Obi-Wan's Ten Point Guide to Paradise: Part 5/5 - Complete!

~glances nervously about the board~ I know this is a really odd place to find an Obi-Wan story, but please just go along with me for a moment!

Title: Obi-Wan's Ten Point Guide to the Paradise
Author: Seven
Summary: This is what happens when I start thinking about what would happen after Obi-Wan dies because I'm too stuborn to believe that he just fades from existance. Basically just cute and fluffy.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story in anyway. I just like messing with thier heads. And the idea that Paradise is just as our world is, only perfect is lightly borrowed from "The Chronicles of Narnia" To which I also have no claim.
Dedication: This goes out in honor of my Master Princess_Arulmozhi, and my partner River_Stone.
Last Moment Details: This story is finished. "Obi's Guide" is only five posts long and it should be updated once a week for your pleasure! And yes... Now I'm done.

About PM's: Since a couple people have asked, I'll put in this note that I will send you a PM (or Private Message) when this story is updated if you so desire. Just give me a heads up.

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Point One: Never let returned-to-the-light Padawans apologize for anything.

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It had been years since he had died. He wasn't quite sure how long he's been settled into the force, but not a true part of it. Obi-Wan, now sure that Luke could handle anything that the Force saw fit to throw his way on his own, knew he was no longer needed here. Besides, the song of the Force was calling him, and it was time to heed it's final call. There was only one last thing to take care of.

With all of his strength, he defied his wish to settle into the one warmth that had led him through everything. He needed to see his brothers son... just this one last time. Rising the boy from sleep, he let them both wander to the roof. Goodbyes were said, and then... Finally, he allowed the Force to carry him... home.

He was falling through darkness... and amongst the odd sensation of free falling, he felt something he thought to be impossible. He felt himself de-aging. He closed his as he pondered this. He felt younger. When he felt ground beneath his feet once again, he opened his eyes, and let out a startled gasp.

There was no way to tell exactly how old he was. He simply was he... as he had always been. His body felt like it was pulled taut with strings of unspent energy, wanting to pull him apart if he didn't do something with it soon. His braid, that signified his devotion to his Master hung dutifully behind one ear, and his usual Jedi garb swathed his form.

He gazed about, and for the first time in a near infinity, he laughed. The Temple stood as tall and serene as it ever had. As grand as it had been during the golden ages of the Force. Forests, mountains, hills, and plains, all lay before him, in more beauty than he had ever seen before. With their colours flaming more brightly then he had ever seen in life. And still he laughed.

?Master!?

That voice stopped him dead.

'Well, not dead...' He thought wryly to himself. 'Just cold... and only for a moment.' He decided, as the warmth of remembered love spread through him.

?Anakin!? Obi-Wan returned the excited call, brining the brother of his soul into a crushing embrace he'd been eagerly awaiting since Mustafar. When they both reluctantly allowed their embrace to end, Obi-Wan tossed a mock stern glance at his once padawan. ?How many times have I told you to call me Obi-Wan??

But Anakin wasn't listening. He was far too busy apologizing. ?I'm so sorry Master! I didn't mean to! ...Well, with Padme I did... I loved her Master! I still do... But I swear that I never meant to turn to the Dark Side! I only wanted to save her and the baby-?

'Well...' Obi-Wan thought to himself as he watched his brother muddle through an apology that he did not need, nor wanted. 'This is more than slightly awkward...'

?-Not only did I betray you, and not trust you to hel

 

This is absolutely hilarious!

'How do I turn him off?' I can just see Obi-Wan trying to find a switch on him!

Obi-Wan stopped Anakin from falling into his cafe, and pushed the boy back into a sitting position, before calling for the bill... before remembering he was dead and there was none. I loved that bit - just wish it were true in RL!

This is just lovely. It's well written, well characterised, and the mush content is just perfect. I love how you've dabbled with the whole idea of the fading-into-the-Force idea and created something so much more, and that's such a joy to read.

I wait eagerly for the next part. Good job!

 

My padawan! Wonderful, wonderful. You've stepped into the Beyond'!

Your post was great - and I expected no less. 'How do I turn him off?' - poor poor Obi, having to be treated to something like this even in afterlife. At least he got an apology - even if it couldn't be...er...shut up.

Never let returned-to-the-light Padawans apologize for anything.

Have I told you how much I loved the tag-lines?

Gently he gathered the brother of his soul into his arms, and made his way to where he could sense Lady Padme waiting.

Loved this bit. In fact, I liked the whole premise of the story, especially where he thinks he can now let go, now that Luke can take of things himself. Am so looking forward to the next parts.

 

UP!

 

*ventures into the Beyond for the first time in her life*

I just love Obi-Wan + afterlife stuff, and the moment I saw this, I knew my journey hadn't been in vain. This just cracked me up, near to the point of tears, and I just can't wait for the next part!

'How do I turn him off?'



I can't wait to see the next part; I hope Lady Padme isn't too hard on him.

Stormqueen

 

Absolutely hilarious! I can't wait for more! Feel free to PM when you update if you send PMs.

 

This looks like a funny and inventive fic. PM me when you update if you do that kind of thing, please?

 

Yay! Time for Author replies!

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River_Stone! Ah! My partner is here!



I absolutely adored writing the bit about Obi wanting to turn Ani off. It was soooo much fun!

And no bills would also be wonderful!

~sigh~ Then I wouldn't have to pay for school.

And thank you so much! I hated the "fading into the Force and loosing yourrself" deal.

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Master!!! Thank you so much!

Yes. We must all feel bad for Obi-Wan as he is left to fend off over apologetic Padawans in the Afterlife.

And as for the tag lines, I love them too! They're sooo much fun!

And I am so glad that you liked!

~~~

stormqueen874, Did I really nearly make you cry with my.... sinanigans? ... And did I even spell that right?

~shakes self~ Anyway, thank you for your kind comments, and I hope to find you here in the future!

~~~

VaderLVR64, I'm glad you dropped by! And I'm also glad that you found this amusing! I'll send that PM you wanted right away!

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Vongchild, Thank you very much! And that PM is on it's way. As soon as I get the next post up!

~~~

And thank you to everyone again!

'Specailly for not leaving me alone in my first endevor into the realm of "Beyond"

Seven

 

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Point 3: Never trust out of work Jedi Council members.

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?Here to welcome you home, I am Master Kenobi.? Yoda smiled, dark eyes twinkling.

Obi-Wan shifted his weight uneasily. 'Somehow I get the distinct feeling that I'm not going to like this...'

?Good for you, this will be!? The little troll chuckled, seemingly picking up on his train of thought.

?I have a bad feeling about this...? Obi-Wan grumbled, though the few children in the halls only looked at him like he was insane.

?Gone for too long you were.? The little Master admonished. ?Neglecting you're duties you have been. Recently resigned a Master from the high council did.?

?Master Yoda, as much as I appreciate this-?

?Good you're agreement is! See you in the Council Chambers at the fifth hour, I will.?

Obi-Wan groaned, 'I haven't even had the chance to see my Master yet, and their already demanding my time.' Watching the little green master disappear through the hallways, Obi-Wan was sure that the little troll was more than just slightly pleased that he'd once again drafted him into the council.

Grumbling all the way back to his quarters, cursing when he realized he only had two hours before his appointed meeting with the council. He changed quickly after a rather refreshing shower, and grabbed a quick bite to eat before rushing with all speed to the council chambers.

Nodding at the padawan who was sitting behind the desk, he entered the grand chambers of the Jedi Council. It was then that he realized, he was already uncomfortable. Something just wasn't right. However, nobody else seemed to notice, as Yoda motioned for him to sit in what was once his usual spot.

Obi-Wan was awaiting the fist order of business, when suddenly the lights flickered and disappeared. He was up in a moment, blue blade ignited, as he readied himself for whatever had made him so increasingly uneasy.

Suddenly there was laughter all around the chamber, and the lights came back online, and in front of him was a large cocoa cake, topped with his favorite soft and sinfully sweet sea foam coloured berry. ?Happy Birthday Master Kenobi!? The twelve council members cheered.

Obi-Wan nearly hit himself for forgetting what day it was as everyone laughed, chatted, and just had a good time. Just as Obi-Wan was about to suggest that they cut his marvelous looking moon berry and cacao cake, when Yoda, whose brain he suspected to have shrunk over his years in the Dagobah swamp, threw cake at Master Windu.

?Food Fight!? Master Windu cried.

All the while, Obi-Wan watched his delicious cake disappear under the zealous hands of the council members. He let his head fall into his hands. 'My cake!'

SPLAT!!!

'My cake in my hair!' He whined to himself.... before slowly picking himself up from his chair. He took one deep calming breath and let it all flow from him. With a slow and deliberate motion, bowed to the twelve members of the council, ans silently left the room.

...But not before the thanked the Force he didn't really have to sit in that chair ever again.

~ ~ ~

Point Four: Never visit the council once they have nothing more productive to do than throw birthday parties. Bored council members equates to insanity.

~ ~ ~

 

I needed this! Wonderful!

 

This is wonderful!

However, Obi-Wan let him have no more time to puzzle over this new turn of events. He grabbed his former apprentices arm and dragged the guilt ridden man into the first seedy cantina he could find.

Of course there are seedy cantinas in the afterlife!

Just as Obi-Wan was about to suggest that they cut his marvelous looking moon berry and cacao cake, when Yoda, whose brain he suspected to have shrunk over his years in the Dagobah swamp, threw cake at Master Windu.
?Food Fight!? Master Windu cried.

Windu? Mace Windu? Starting a food fight? I love it!

 

Just the right amount of out-of-character hilarity made that great!

 

'My cake in my hair!' I absolutely adored this bit!

Just brilliant!I loved that the council spent all their time creating mischief instead of focusing on more serious matters (the poor things have earned it!) And the food fight idea is just priceless! I can just see Yoda sneakily grabbing a bit of cake to throw at the others!

And poor Obi! To have his cake in his hair

This story always makes me laugh. More I say!

 

... Okay, So I know that it isn't Saturday... But I just got off of my first week of University, and I work a full day tomorrow, so you get it a day early! Yay!

But first post, replies. Naturally. If you don't care what I say, please continue to the next post.

Thank you.

~~~

VaderLVR64: Most glad that I could be of service. ~bows~

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jedi_of_ennth: But of course there are seedy places in the afterlife. What about all the people who really like those places. Of course nothing bad would ever happen.

And as for Master Mace, I mean, with nothing to do, what else would he do?

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Vongchild: Thank you very much. I'm always thankful for such praise.

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Partner! Ah, yes. You speak of "Yoda Troll Syndrom" Or YTS. Very dangerous, and unexplicably contagious. And it seems that this version of the council has it bad. And I mean, what else will everyone do with an eternity of peace and quiet?

And yes... poor Obi.

More you say? More playfully tearing at Obi-Wan?!

Why of course.

~~~

Thank you to everyone who read!

Seven

 

Up!

edit: sorry, partner. I missed your post by a minute

 

~ ~ ~

Point Five: Always remember to go home first. The best things are always there.

~ ~ ~

Obi-Wan opened the doors to his living quarters to find the one thing he had not expected. Something he had no seen since his years as an apprentice. It was currently pacing a well beaten path into the floor of his common room.

Pulling on the braid that was still present against his ear, as he watched that oh so well loved figure move in such a familiar fashion. Obi-Wan's heart suddenly felt full, so much so that the poor thing threatened to shatter at any moment. Oh, how long had he waited to see this again? He could hardly remember the long years...

?Obi-Wan?? The deep, yet ever calming balm to his soul whispered his name as if it where a fleeting wind.

And suddenly his heart did as it threatened. It burst. His eyes overflowed, hearing that voice speak his name. ?Master!? Obi-Wan cried throwing himself into the arms of none other than Qui-Gon Jinn.

The elders chest rumbled against the youngers cheek as he pulled his son into a crushing embrace. ?There, there, My Obi-Wan. One would think you actually missed me.?

Kenobi's head shot up, eyes flashing in horrified astonishment. ?Of course I missed you!?

?Lady Padme called me yesterday, after you so promptly rushed in and out of our quarters, to tell me you brought her husband home a mess. She was quite adamant about making a point that I should do all in my power to be sure you would be better behaved in the future.? Qui-Gon told him. ?And you didn't even bother to say hello before running off into the temple! You visit Anakin and Padme- Obi-Wan is that cake in your hair??

Obi-Wan buried his face in his Masters tunics mortified, his face beginning to paint itself a rather furious magenta.

?Oh!? Qui-Gon lamented dramatically. ?You go to see everyone else, even the council who hold meeting to do nothing more than pull pranks! I thought you loved me more than that!?

?Master!? Obi-Wan grumbled good naturedly. ?You know that's not true.?

Jinn laughed, as he playfully hit the other man's shoulder. ?That's for keeping me waiting.?
Both men gave into the chuckling that had been threatening to spill over for the last while, giving out merry peals of laughter for all to hear.

Jovially, the smaller of the men threw a punch back at his Master, hitting his shoulder. ?That's for dying on me.?

?As much as it pains me to interrupt...?

The bickering pair turned, and happily greeted Anakin and Padme.

?Care to join us for dinner?? Obi-Wan asked Anakin, ?And I'll even let your wife stay as long as she doesn't lecture me into boredom and death.?

~ ~ ~

Point Six: Family dinners are a wonderful way to become reacquainted... even if you do have to cook.

~ ~ ~

Partner: No problem. Hope you enjoyed the post!

 

I just came across this...it's very creative, very well written and very, very funny



Great Job!

 

Nice update!

?Care to join us for dinner?? Obi-Wan asked Anakin, ?And I'll even let your wife stay as long as she doesn't lecture me into boredom and death.?

Can she really make the already-dead die of boredom?

 

Obi-Wan stopped Anakin from falling into his cafe, and pushed the boy back into a sitting position, before calling for the bill... before remembering he was dead and there was none.

Hahaha! I love this guide. There's so much of Obi-Wan's dry humor in it.

 

Lol, padawan. You have a flair for humour.

Obi-Wan buried his face in his Masters tunics mortified, his face beginning to paint itself a rather furious magenta.

Loved Qui-Gon's theatric outburst about pulling pranks...

?Care to join us for dinner?? Obi-Wan asked Anakin, ?And I'll even let your wife stay as long as she doesn't lecture me into boredom and death.?

Beautiful work, litte one. So proud of you!

 

LOL. Great interaction between Qui and Obi! These characters so rarelty get to even step foot in beyond... *tsk tsk* Keep up the great work!

 

OMG this is hilarious.
Rachel

 

KELIA: Why, thank you very much! I'm glad that you like it!

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jedi_of_ennth: You know what? I don't really think so. I think it's more of an expression!

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JadeSolo: Why thank you! I had hoped that Obi came across right!

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Master!THank you so much! ~blush~

I'm glad you like it, and I'm glad that I can make you proud!

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Vongchild: I'm gald that I can help break unknown ground. And don't worry. I plan to amuse you for a while yet!

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AriaJediKnight: Why thank you, and keep laughing. More is comming your way!

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Thanks for the great reviews!

Chapter up later!

 

I just found it and I love it I can't wait for more and please pm me when you update

 

Hi Seven I'm just visiting from Before the Saga
had to let you know
How good it is