Obi-Wanzo meets the Fearsome Five-year old (short JA humor)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by jedi_master_gimpy, Jul 21, 2000.

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  1. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Okay, here's a humor story, it's about five posts long so you'll kind of have to stick with it. Hehe and I know some of you are probably mad at me 'cause I'm posting this instead of more on my other stories but I'M WORKING ON IT!! :p (almost positively tomorrow - I'm trying to get back on regular updates)

    Without further ado...

    (oh yeah, one more thing: this is untitled, I couldn't think of a good name. I just figured the one I used fits and it would catch your attention. Was I right?) :D

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    =================

    Obi-Wan took one last look at the bag he was carrying, making sure everything Qui-Gon wanted was there. Yep, all present and accounted for. He was just about to head back to the Temple when he felt a light tug on his robe.

    Obi-Wan turned in the crowded streets and saw nothing. Another tug. Huh? Obi-Wan looked down, down, down into the biggest pair of brown eyes he had ever seen. The little boy they belonged to had light blond hair, reached almost to Obi-Wan's waist and looked like a street urchin.

    The boy's eyes were wide. "Are you..." he sucked in a deep breath - "a Jedi?!"

    Obi-Wan felt rather uncomfortable. "Um, yeah."

    The boy's eyes went even wider. "Do you have a lightslober?"

    Obi-Wan blinked. Lightslober? The boy's eyes fixed on the silver cylinder hanging from the Jedi's belt and Obi-Wan realized what the kid was talking about. "You mean a lightsaber?"

    The kid was reaching out one grubby hand for the weapon and Obi-Wan jumped back. "Hey, be careful! You could get hurt!"

    The boy's eyes never left the lightsaber. "Would it hurt a lot? My mom says I'm always getting into trouble and hurting myself but I've never been hurt by a lightslo-saber before. That sounds like fun! Maybe it would just kind of tingle. What do y-"

    Obi-Wan stared at the boy in shock. What?! "What's your name?" he asked wearily.

    "Tynne." The boy grinned from ear to ear.

    Obi-Wan craned his head from side to side, desperately trying to see if there was anybody looking for the boy. "Tynne, huh? Well Tynne, you said something about your mother. Is she here somewhere?" There was a hopeful note in the teenager's voice.

    Tynne frowned, his eyebrows gathering over his eyes while he thought. "No, I think my mom lost herself, I haven't seen her since yesterday. Now why do you think she would do a thing like that?" His eyes brightened. "Being lost sounds like fun! Maybe if I just walked that way as far as I could-"

    Obi-Wan was almost tempted to let him do just that, but it wouldn't be right. As a Jedi he felt he had a duty to help the little kid, not to mention that he'd feel horrible just leaving Tynne like this. He sighed. "Do you know where you live?"

    Tynne smiled brightly. "No."

    Obi-Wan sighed again and grabbed Tynne's hand in his. "In that case, Tynne, I think you'd better come home with me until we find your mom."

    Tynne shrugged. "That sounds like fun!"
  2. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    Uh oh. Lost on Coruscant but seemingly unaware of his predicament. WHy do I get the feeling Tynne will have driven Obi-Wan thoroughly crazy by post three? LOL. Looking forward to the rest of this JMG! --AWK
  3. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    I like the title the way it is. I like the story too.
  4. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Thanks for the replies, everyone! And you're right about that, AW!! (btw, love your signature). In fact, Axin is kinda some of the inspiration (along with one of Ejedir's characters, Kabe) for Tynne. Not to mention these little characters in the DragonLance books called Kender (mischeivious little things!)

    Glad you like the title jodiwent, I guess it fits! :D

    Here's the second post, AW the whole braid thing is kinda similar to Obi-1's on/off switch, any credit for the whole braid idea I give solely to thou!

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    ==============

    The questions never stopped all the way back to the Temple and soon Obi-Wan was dragging Tynne behind him to keep the tike from darting off every few seconds to look at something. Obi-Wan pulled the curious boy into his and Qui-Gon's quarters, thankful that the Jedi Master was gone on business until later that day.

    Obi-Wan searched through the refrigerator for something suitable to give Tynne and finally decided on juice and Manuj fruit. While he was slicing the fruit Obi-Wan made Tynne promise that no matter what he would stay inside their quarters.

    Obi-Wan carried the fruit to the table, bending over to lay it in front of Tynne. He was just about to straighten up when a small hand grabbed his Padawan braid firmly and gave it a hard yank. "Ow!" Obi-Wan yelped. "What did you do that for?"

    Tynne grinned up at him, totally oblivious to the Jedi's pain. "I was right!! It is just like a bell!! When I pull it there's a loud sound and everything!" He stood up on his seat to examine where the braid attached to Obi-Wan's head right behind the teenager's right ear. "Wow, that's neat! How did it get stuck to your head? Did they glue it? That might hurt, Obi-Wanzo!"

    Obi-Wan grimaced. No matter how many times he told Tynne that it was Obi-Wan the kid insisted on calling him Obi-Wanzo. When Obi-Wan finally got Tynne sitting down again he figured that he had better change the subject unless he wanted his braid pulled again. "How old are you, Tynne?"

    Tynne held up four small, pudgy fingers. "Five."

    Obi-Wan pulled Tynne's other finger up to show the correct amount. "Five."

    Tynne was busy shoving another slice of fruit into his mouth. "That's what I said. Five."

    Obi-Wan watched a seed disappear into the kid's mouth along with the fruit. "You know, if you swallow a seed than a Manuj fruit will grow in your stomach," he teased.

    Tynne looked at him, his brown eyes wide. "Really?" he clutched his throat. "I think I swallowed one! Does it really grow into a whole fruit?" Obi-Wan nodded and hid a smile. "But what if the Manuj fruit grows bigger than my stomach?" Tynne askd.

    Obi-Wan frowned, he hadn't thought of that. "Uh, it doesn't."

    "But what if it does?" Tynne pressed.

    Obi-Wan was saved from having to answer when Qui-Gon walked in. The older Jedi stopped in surprise. "Who is this, Obi-Wan?"

    Obi-Wan smiled. "Master, this is Tynne. Tynne, this is my master, Qui-Gon Jinn. I found him wandering the street, Master. He got separated from his mom," the teenager said by way of explanation.

    Tynne almost fell out of his chair as he looked up, up, up at Qui-Gon's face. He grinned widely. "Heylo, Master-dude!"

    Qui-Gon smiled warmly at him. "Hello, Tynne." The child reminded him a lot of an orphan he had taken care of for a few days when he was a Padawan, Kabe.

    Before Obi-Wan could stop him, Tynne reached out one grubby fist and yanked the Padawan's braid again. "Oooooww!" Obi-Wan yelled.

    Tynne grinned at Qui-Gon again. "Isn't that neat, Master-dude? It's like a bell! I saw a holovid of a bell, once. You yank the rope and it makes a loud sound, just like that!" The boy peered at Obi-Wan's braid. "I wonder if you could hang on Obi-Wanzo's too. It might fall off, though. It doesn't look very strong."

    Obi-Wan snatched his braid back as Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow and hid a laugh. "Yes, that is quite a braid you have there, Obi-Wanzo." Obi-Wan glared at him.
  5. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Very cute story! I bet Tynne is going to drive Obi-wan and Qui-gon crazy.
  6. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    Poor Obi-Wan. Hee hee hee.
  7. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Very funny Gimpy!! Once again you have tears in my eyes after reading your story, except these are from laughter. Love it!!!!!

    Please more more more!!!

    Just don't forget your other great stories!!
  8. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    hehe, thanks for the replies, everyone! and don't worry Kelly - I won't!! Posts on all of them today!! :D

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    ==============

    ?Obi-Wanzo. Obi-Wanzo.? Tynne shook Obi-Wan?s shoulder.

    Obi-Wan rolled onto his stomach on his bed. Sith! It had to be a half-hour before breakfast, what did this kid think he was doing? ?Let me sleep,? Obi-Wan mumbled into his pillow.

    ?But Obi-Wanzo,? Tynne whined. ?I?m too awake to sleep.?

    Obi-Wan groaned ? he had almost fallen back to sleep! ?Get lost,? he muttered. The bed shook slightly as Tynne rolled off and there was blessed silence. At last! Obi-Wan tried to fall back to sleep, only to find that against his wishes he was now fairly alert. Sith! He changed positions and lay there for a few minutes and began to doze off...

    ?Obi-Wanzo,? Tynne?s voice came from right beside his ear, startling Obi-Wan awake. ?I tried to get lost just like you said,? his voice was miserable, ?but you made me promise not to leave your and master-dude?s quarters and I know my way around them too well to get lost.?

    Obi-Wan lay there for a moment until he woke up enough to understand what Tynne was saying and then he started to laugh. Tynne looked at him in shock. ?Why are you laughing, Obi-Wanzo? Did you hit your funnies-bone?? he looked at him in concern.

    Obi-Wan chuckled. Not liking the thought of trying to explain it all to the curious five year-old, he took the easier way out. ?Yes Tynne, I hit my funny bone.? Now fully awake, he grabbed some fresh clothes and headed for the ?fresher, ordering Tynne to ?go bug Qui-Gon.?

    ?But I?m not a bu-? Obi-Wan shut the ?fresher door. Ten minutes later he opened it again and Tynne, who had been sitting against it, fell into the room. He quickly sat up. ?But Obi-Wanzo, I?m not a bug!?

    ?Never mind,? Obi-Wan said quickly.

    ?Tynne! Obi-Wanzo!? Qui-Gon called cheerfully from the kitchen. ?Time for breakfast!?

    Obi-Wan growled. His master was having TOO much fun with this. ?Why does Qui-Gon always have to be Mr. Smile-and-be-happy-we?re-having-breakfast-before-the-rest-of-the-temple-even-wakes-up?? he grumbled as they walked into the kitchen.

    Tynne scrambled over to Qui-Gon and tugged on the tall Jedi?s robes as he set the table. ?Hey Master-dude, why do you always have to be Mr. Smile-and-be-happy-we?re-having-breakfast-before-the-rest-of-the-temple-even-wakes-up??

    Qui-Gon stared at him in amusement. ?What are you talking about, Tynne??

    Tynne smiled brightly. ?Oh it?s not me, Master-dude. Obi-Wanzo wants to know,? he said helpfully.

    Obi-Wan ducked his head and suddenly became very interested in getting the juice from the cooler when Qui-Gon shot him a look.
  9. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    LOL!!!! Love the way he calls Qui-Gon Master Dude, that is just toooooo funny!!! Not to mention the way he takes everything Obi says so literal.

    Please post more soon!
  10. I love Sci Fi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2000
    star 4
    LOL <gasp> breath breath <gasp>

    OK WOW that was great. POST MORE PLEASE!!!!:):):):)
  11. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Teehee!! I'm glad you're all enjoying it!! One more post left after this!
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    Obi-Wan sat in front of the computer terminal with a sigh. Tynne was playing on the floor behind him with some blocks Obi-Wan had acquired from the nursery and Qui-Gon was off visiting some friend of his. Obi-Wan pulled up a list of all registered citizens on Coruscant, desperately hoping Tynne?s family was one of them. ?Tynne, what?s you?re last name??

    Tynne was bent diligently over the blocks, his voice muffled. ?Dennely. And I knowed how to spell it, too Obi-Wanzo! D-e-n-n-e-l-y!?

    Thank the Force! Obi-Wan typed the name in and waited for the computer to process it. A list of all the Dennelys on Coruscant popped up and Obi-Wan groaned. There had to be 20 of them!! ?Uh, Tynne??

    ?Yes, Obi-Wanzo??

    ?You, uh, don?t happen to know your daddy and mommy?s names, do you??

    ?Yes, I knowed those, Obi-Wanzo,? Tynne said as though it was obvious.

    Obi-Wan sighed with relief. ?What are they??

    Tynne pronounced them very slowly and carefully. ?Daddy-and-Mommy. I can spell them for you, too!?

    Obi-Wan dropped his head onto the terminal. ?No, I think that?s all right, Tynne. I can spell those.? This was going to be a loooooooooong day.

    ========================================

    Fifteen families, two block houses and a much-pulled Padawan braid later Obi-Wan was extremely tired and extremely store. It was almost lunchtime and he had talked to so many people he had his little spiel memorized by now. ?Hello, I was wondering if you?ve lost a little boy or know of any relatives that have-?

    Obi-Wan now knew four things more than he had when he started: yes, a marble fits down a five year-old?s throat; a master?s spare robe is flammable when brought in contact with a combination of a five year-old?s spit, baking powder and Togorian hotsauce; there will actually be a time when you wish you can speak Twi?lek; and that a loud, chattering and scantily dressed clan of Coruscant-based Twi?lek dancers can actually have the same last name as a human.

    With a sigh Obi-Wan punched in a call to the next Dennely on the list. A few moments later a tired-looking woman came on screen, her eyes puffy from crying. Obi-Wan sat up quickly. This looks like a good candidate!

    ?Ma?am, you wouldn?t happen to be missing a small child-? Obi-Wan started politely.

    The woman sat forward quickly. ?Did you find Tynne??

    Lucky lightsabers, he?d found her! ?Yes,? Obi-Wan said excitedly. ?He was-?

    ?Thank the stars!? The woman exclaimed. ?Where are you now??

    ?My names Obi-Wan Kenobi and I?m at the Jedi Temple on T-?

    ?I?ll be there in twenty minutes,? Mrs. Dennely said and then the screen went blank.

    Obi-Wan stared at it indignantly. ?I didn?t even get a midichlorian in edgewise!?
  12. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Yeah... he found the parents!!!! Only twenty minutes to go. Anyone with kids knows how much mischief a kid can get into in twenty minutes, so don't turn your back on him for one minute Obi. You also might want to consider doing something with that braid. When my girls where little I had to cut my hair short to save my sanity!

    Only one post to go, kinda sad :(
  13. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Ahh man, one more post. Now that is really sad.:( This story is really good and cute. I am glad Obi found Tynne's parents before he went insane.
  14. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Thanks everyone, here's the last post.

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    ============

    ?Are you done washing up yet, Tynne?? Obi-Wan hollered. ?Your mom will be here soon!?

    Qui-Gon had returned and they had eaten a quick lunch. Mrs. Dennely was due any minute. What in the Force was taking Tynne so long? Obi-Wan tapped his foot impatiently and when there was no sound or sight of the boy, went in after him.

    Tynne was crouched on the ?fresher counter, his face pushed up as close to the mirror as he could get it, trying, it appeared, to look up his nose. He hadn?t noticed the Padawan?s arrival.

    Obi-Wan stood right behind him. ?What are you doing, Tynne??

    Tynne jumped. ?Jeebers Obi-Wanzo, you scared me!? He went back to examining himself in the mirror, this time turning his head sideways and tugging at his ear, almost going cross-eyed trying to look at it. ?I wonder if the Manuj fruit in my stomach is growing yet. Do you think leaves will grow out of my nose and mouth or just my ears??

    Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as the doorbell rang. He heard Qui-Gon answer it and quickly grabbed Tynne and walked him out.

    Mrs. Dennely saw him immediately and rushed over. ?Oh, Tynn!?

    ?Mommy!? Tynne shouted. ?You unlost yourself!? They hugged and when Mrs. Dennely pulled away there were tears running down her cheeks. ?I can?t thank you enough,? she told Obi-Wan.

    ?Hey, Mommy! Watch this!?

    Before Obi-Wan could stop him Tynne had reached out, wrapped a hand around Obi-Wan?s braid and yanked it hard. Obi-Wan let out a loud squawk.

    Tynne?s eyes were shining. ?Isn?t that neat, Mommy? It?s just like a bell an? everything!?

    Mrs. Dennely smiled. ?Yes, that?s wonderful, Tynne but we should be going home, Daddy?s very worried.?

    Tynne?s bottom lip trembled. ?Can Obi-Wanzo come with us??

    Obi-Wan was touched. Now that the kid had to go, he realized he had sorta gotten used to and even kinda enjoyed having him around.

    Mrs. Dennely was talking to Tynne, explaining that Obi-Wan had to stay with his Master. ?But maybe Obi-Wan can come babysit you and your twin brother some time,? she added to a very discouraged Tynne.

    He brightened immediately. ?Really??

    Obi-Wan paled. A twin brother? ?Er? I don?t know about that but maybe I can come visit you sometime.?

    ?Okay!? Obi-Wan knelt so Tynne could throw his arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug and Obi-Wan keeping track of exactly where his braid was in relation to the boy?s hands. Tynne scooted back, tears in his brown eyes as he looked seriously at Obi-Wan.

    ?I?ll miss you, Obi-Wanzo. But maybe one day I?ll be a Jedi Pada-waffle just like you and have a lightslober ? I mean lightsaber, too. And then I can stay here with you.?

    Obi-Wan stood and tousled Tynne?s hair. ?Maybe, Tynne.? He didn?t want to have to tell him that would never happen.

    After Mrs. Dennely had thanked them again they left, and to Obi-Wan their quarters suddenly seemed a lot quieter and lonelier.

    Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan, a puzzled look on his face. ?Padawan, I can?t seem to find my spare robe. Do you have any idea where it is??

    Obi-Wan?s face went white and his eyes became very, very big. He pointed an accusing finger at the door and his voice was very, very small. ?It?s his fault.?

    Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan?s braid and pulled the Padawan after him, away from the door. ?It appears, Mr. Wanzo, that we have some explaining to do.?
  15. Jedi Milan-Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2000
    star 1
    LOLROFLMHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Gimpy! That was way to funny! I didn't yell at Qui-Gon in this one! Aren't ya proud? *Grins* Great Job!
  16. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
  17. light_sabe_r Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    And I thought Obi-Wan detested Pathetic life forms.

    Maybe this is where he began to detest them...
  18. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Loved it Gimpy!!! You can write humor just as well as angst and torture, and that is saying a lot!!!!!!!

  19. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Very funny, Gimpy! Loved it!
  20. Jedi Susie Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    star 4
    ROTF! That was great! Just a nice and sweet story...loved it.

    Hmm, you can write adventure, drama and now comedy! My oh my you're quiet well rounded [face_clown]

    ~Susie
  21. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Excellent as always Gimpy.

    Maybe down the way you'll find a way for Obi-Wanzo to wind up babysitting the twins. That would be interesting, of course he could always get a little hlep from his master.
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