Saga Obi's diary. AU/ Humor: Obi/Anakin/Dooku/Palpy and some OC's. It's BACK!! Updated 6-23-09

Title: Obi's diary
Author: hyperspace_police
Genre: Humor
Characters: Obi/Anakin/Dooku/Palpatine/and some OC's.
Summary: A look into the diary of Obi-Wan Kenobi during the time period of the prequels.

A random sampling of Obi Wan's diary just after the Phantom Menace when he is adjusting to his master being gone and being responsible for a padawan.

Enjoy. Again, I ask that no one throw rotten fruit or vegetables at me...I am new to this so, any mistakes I am making, please let me know so I can fix them.

Here goes...

They tell me that a jorunal is a good way to manage my grief. I don't know about this, but seeing as I have no better ideas I will try this out.

This morning I got up, with the idea of having a nice glass of blue milk. But, guess what? When I get to the cooler, reach in, grab my bottle of blue milk...Only to find that it has been returned to it's place on the shelf EMPTY!!!

I know that I am a Jedi Knight now, and that I must control my temper, but there are times when I wonder why I ever promised Qui-Gon that I would train this brat...I mean boy.

To top that off, I have inherited my master's unusual collection of pets. I have found homes for many of them, but the ones that remain are so strange or threatening that nobody seems to want them.

They just tell me things like "They will remind you of Qui-Gon". Like I'm not reminded of Qui-Gon every time I turn around. Every time I let myself become still and I am bombarded by the fact that he is gone. Sometimes the grief is more than I can bear.

And when the grief isn't what is getting to me, it's the brat, I mean boy. I understand that he misses his mother and that he is older than most who start the training.

Don't get me wrong, he is catching on and everything. Faster that I would have been expected. He is a good student. It's just that he's sharing my quarters. And he eats my food. Not that I don't think that he shouldn't eat, just not my food.

It's just every time I go to the cooler intent on a certain item or beverage, that little brat, I mean boy, has beaten me to it. He should weigh 200 pounds by now...I honestly don't know where he puts it.

Master Yoda tells me that I was the same way when I first moved in with Qui-Gon...I don't remember this? But, he's probably right.

Well, I have been called before the council again. I am curious as to what Anakin has done this time? Well, I don't know that he did something...but, it wouldn't be a Monday if he hadn't.

 

Very good start. Can't wait for more. I like hearing Obi-Wan's POV, it's very...HONEST lol.

Anabrat strikes again.
Or is it only on Mondays

 

Lovely- PM me please with updates or other stories and such.Thanks

 

That was hilarious, great job! If you are doing pms, please add me to the list.

 

Please HP, can I have some more? With PM topping?

 

Heeey! You gotta PM people when you do that!!!

That was hilarious, Bacon. Good Obi POV.

 

iLoveAnakin7; kenobiwanobi; LilyHobbitJedi; Aya-Na_Bashu; and Jaria

Thanks so much for reading, and here I figured I'd be bomobarded with rotten veggies.....

So, here's a wee bit more.


Well, I was right about on thing...Anakin had done something again. It seems that he and some of his new friends decided that it would be rather funny to dump soap into all the Fountains in the The Room of A Thousand Fountains...Now I am required by the council to keep a closer watch on him.

When I returned to our quarters, there the brat, I mean boy, sat...Eating my last container of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream...It was at that moment that I thought I would snap. I mean, drinking the last of the Blue Milk is one thing...But to eat the last of a man's banana flavored ice cream...This was the last straw.

Perhaps I was a little harsh on my padawan, but, I remember Qui-Gon being much harder on me for much less. Qui-Gon, if only you were here training this brat, I mean boy. Things would be so different. I don't think that I am up to the challenge.

He is so powerful and has so much potential. What if I fail him. Perhaps this is why I look for reasons to dislike the brat, I mean boy. I know that he holds the balance of the universe within himself. And what kind of balance can he bring to the force if all he ever does is get into trouble and eat all my food??

My, how I seem to rant, perhaps this journal was a good idea. As long as the brat, I mean boy, never comes across it. Some of the things I have said have been rather harsh. But, if I don't talk to someone, I'm goanna kill the brat, I mean boy. Maybe Siri will be back from her mission soon. She seems to understand me.

She is one of the few things in my life right now that can make me smile. Think of something else than the pit of despair I find myself in. I know that I cannot blame myself for Qui-Gon's death. But, I can't help but think that if I hadn't been stuck behind that kriffing shield, things would be different. Qui-Gon would be training this brat, I mean boy.

I would be on missions with Siri, or some of my other peers. But, no...Kenobi gets to train the "Chosen One", the boy who can bring balance...Kriffing prophecy. I have got to meditate on this, I don't even sound like myself anymore.

I am going to go apologize to Anakin now. The brat, I mean boy, is scrubbing all the fountains with his toothbrush...Like I said, perhaps I was a little harsh. But, he has to learn discipline. Everyone wants to go easy on him because he's "Special".

"Special" I say, only if you count being able to put away more food than a Bantha that hasn't eaten in three weeks as "Special."

Maybe I'll see the brat, I mean boy, in a different light, after I've had an evening to meditate on the matter.


Good news, I just got word that Siri will be returning in the morning. And her message said that she wants to see me when she arrives...This is just what I need, someone who will understand my point of view towards this whole matter.

 

Might be in for a shock though Obi! She might back the kid up!

Great start! Obi's POV is an interesting take Can't wait for more!

 

....chunky monkey....

 

hyperspace_police :When I returned to our quarters, there the brat, I mean boy, sat...Eating my last container of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream...It was at that moment that I thought I would snap. I mean, drinking the last of the Blue Milk is one thing...But to eat the last of a man's banana flavored ice cream...This was the last straw.

LOVELY! - Funny stuff

 

This is still incredibly hilarious. I love it that Siri is going to show up, will be interesting to see what she thinks of Anakin. This is so much fun to read, I can't wait for more.

 

Kynstar
Thanks for reading....and you're right, don't know whose side Siri will take...

Jaria
glad i could make you laugh...have you ever tried chunky monkey????

kenobiwanobi
A man's banana ice cream is sacred.

LilyHobbitJedi
Thanks for reading. Obi needs somebody to show up and listen to him, might as well be Siri.

Thanks everybody for reading. I was really scared to post anything. It's not as bad as I had feared. Thanks.

 

Well I certainly hope Siri can lighten Obi-Wan's mood a bit.

Very funny!

 

Wow! this is SO funy!

The brat, I mean boy...[/i

*sigh* So Obi-Wan...

 

Fountains, new friends and soup just seem to always wind up in the same place at the same time, not that I would knowanything about that, of course.

Maybe Obi-Wan should keep his favorite foods in Siri's fridge and only stock the icky stuff in his own. It'd soon teach Anakin not to raid it. If it didn't stop the brat, um, the boy, well, at least Obi-Wan would know Anakin was eating healthy.

 

Kelia
Glad you're enjoying.

Alley Skywalker
Thanks for reading...Glad you like it.

Aya-Na_Bashu
Maybe he should leave his Chunky Monkey is Siri's quarters...but, she'd probably eat it.....

Here's a bit more...

I am patiently waiting for Siri to arrive...She should have been here hours ago, but there's somekind of traffic problem and incoming traffic has been backed up past the hyperspace lanes. It's so ridiculous. I know I shouldn't be bothered by such things, but I really need to talk to Siri.

I have sent the brat, I mean boy, to the training room. I've got him doing saber drills against the remote. (And I am afraid to admit that I turned up the stun settings, so when he misses he'll get more of a sting.)

I swore that I would never do such things. When Qui-Gon would do them to me, I'd smart off and tell him..."When I have a padawan, I'm not going to do things like that to them." Oh well, sometimes I guess you should be careful what you say.

I remember one time, Qui-Gon caught me and Bant and Garren plotting to play a practical joke on him. We were going to wait until he was asleep and then put whipped cream in his hand, then tickle his face so he would splat himself with it.

I know, childish, but we were children at the time. Problem was, he stayed awake longer than we could and when we woke up the next morning...he had wrapped us all in bandages and we looked like mummies...It was a very good prank, now that I look back on it.

Oh, there's the comm now. Siri is here...

Later the same day...

I feel so much better now...And, yes...that is sarcasm. Siri and I talked and talked. Most of the time she agreed with me. But, she does think I might not be giving the boy a proper chance because of my grief. She says it's clouding my vision.

I wanted to scream at her. OF COURSE IT'S CLOUDING MY VISION...I can't sleep, food, when I can get to it before the brat, I mean boy eats it, doesn't taste right.

Then, she pulled out the last straw. She suggested that I should go back to wearing my own robes, instead of Qui Gon's. How dare she? I started in on her. Then when I took a closer look, she was crying.

I have not idea why SHE was crying. I'm the one whose master is dead. I'm the one who watched him die. I'm the one who promised him I would train the brat, I mean boy because he's the chosen one. I'm the one stuck with the chosen one.

Do you have any idea the kind of pressure that puts on a man? I mean, the chosen one. I keep having these nightmares of me and Anakin fighting. It's like I failed him and because of my failure he destroys everything I care about.

It's frightening. The healers tell me that I'm under so much strain from my master being killed by a Sith, that I'm channeling the feeling into my dreams and onto the boy.

I think they're full of pudding. It's more of a vision than a dream. Master Yoda tells me to meditate on it. That I did everything I could and Qui-Gon would be proud of me.

I just want to scream at everyone.

Siri and I were walking earlier in the room of a Thousand Fountains...We sat down on my favorite bench, and it happenend. I have been trying to keep it from happening but I just couldn't anymore.

I apologized for yelling at her. She looked up and me, ruffled my hair and just said I forgive you Kenobi. It was more than I could stand. I hurt my friends, I hurt the brat, I mean boy. I hurt myself. I've got so many feelings. I can't control them.

Siri asked me how I was doing, how I was really doing. And I broke down. I started crying. Right there in front of my friend. But, she didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. She just leaned over and hugged me. I lost it. I was just a sobbing mess.

She started rocking back and forth and I don't know when, but I fell asleep crying. And she just sat there, with my head laying in her lap. Then I woke up and she asked me if I felt better.

I sat up, uncomfortable with the situation. Screamed at her to leave me alone and ran back h

 

hyperspace_police:
Siri asked me how I was doing, how I was really doing. And I broke down. I started crying. Right there in front of my friend. But, she didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. She just leaned over and hugged me. I lost it. I was just a sobbing mess.

Poor Obi. Great post. More soon please.

 

I think Siri should go right to his quarters and try to make him forget his worries ...But, that's just me. Good chapter, Bacon, although are you sure they are full of pudding? Maybe they're full of.....jello....

 

And I am afraid to admit that I turned up the stun settings, so when he misses he'll get more of a sting.)




Loved that!

It's great the Obi-Wan really opened up to Siri in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, it's just too bad he ran off at the end.

Great update!!!

 

Well Obi-Wan's being naughty. Well he hasn't had it easy lately so I'll give him a break.

Great post

 

Poor Obi I agree. Glad to see Siri was able to help some, but *shakes head* you shouldn't have ran off there young man!

Poor guy...perhaps he'll get his turmoil under control soon. Loved the turning up the stun settings too.

 

Aww...how cute. I just loved Siri showing her compassionate side to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan turning up the settings on the remotes, so funny! Great update!!

 

kenobiwnaobi
Thanks for reading...Poor Obi indeed...

jaira
Might have to edit it and change it to JELLO...

Kelia
Higher stun settings ...
Men do tend to run at all the wrong times...

Alley_Skywalker
But sometimes, Naughty Obi is nice...

Kynstar
Turmoil Obi ...And thanks for being an encouraging friend. It's your fault I've started posting things...

LilyHobbitJedi
The stun settings are quite popular...Thanks again for reading!

OK...
School was busy this week, so it's a little behind...

Well, that went well...and yes, that is sarcasm. Great, I'm reduced to telling myself I'm being sarcastic. I can't believe that I let myself loose control of my emotions like that. And with Siri, why did it have to be Siri?

I'm sure she's going to use it against me when I am over all of this...If I ever get over it. I'm going to go and talk to the Troll now and see if that helps.

Later that day...

Well, a talk with the Troll, (oh how I used to like hearing Qui-Gon call him that) gets you nothing but a headache and a really sore shin. He did help, and now I am starting to see that my being there beside Qui-Gon might not have saved him. In fact, we could both be dead...

It's curious how calm I was when I left Yoda...But, it didn't last...I stopped by Siri's quarters to apologize for yelling at her and when she came to the door, who do I see sitting on her sofa eating Ice Cream??? The brat, I mean boy, had gone to Siri and told her that he was worried about me.

I stood there a minute with a million thoughts in my head, and none of them were good...He had no right to be talking about me to Siri behind my back. I didn't hear what Siri was saying. I didn't care what she was saying. All I could see was the brat, I mean boy, and my best friend plotting against me.

So, I turned and walked off with Siri on my heels, calling my name. I didn't stop, I didn't turn around. I walked out of the temple and out into the city. I needed a drink. So, I headed to my favorite bar. I ordered the blue drink. I do need to keep my witts about me.

Siri found me, of course. After all I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, captain of predictability. But, with a little drink in me, I was more level headed and Siri helped me realize what a gift I had recieved. I am to train the "chosen one", I have been charged with the greatest task in the entire order.

Now, I am a bit sick at my stomach at the thought of it all. But, I am going to try and be more open minded with the brat, I mean boy. I guess I might even have to stop calling him brat. I might do that, but there's no way I'm going to turn the settings back down on the training remote.

Watching the boy jump 6 feet into the air every time that he misses is just too priceless. Besides, it's a padawan rite of passage, I think that all the masters do it.

It's really funny to watch. Or perhaps that's just the drink talking. I am sure that after I meditate this evening that tomorrow will look up. Things are going to be better from now on. I am going to be the ideal master and the brat, I mean boy is going to be the perfect padawan. Things are going to change, I can feel it.

 

Boy, Anakin sure does love that ice cream, doesn't he? How funny that Obi thinks things are going to go well...Not funny haha, but...well, you know...

 

The perfect Master and Padawan?



Now that's funny!

Great update!!