Saga Of Jedi and Disputes (Obi/Ani, OCs, random canon Jedi -- humor)

Title: Of Jedi and Disputes
Author: Amrita Glittersong
Genre: Humor
Timeline: A few years after TPM
Summary: Some Jedi need to learn how to get along with each other...
Notes: The idea of Jedi needing to take a class on getting along has been in my head awhile. This fic spiraled from that into some horrible mass of sillyness and hopefully funniness as well.
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Of Jedi and Disputes

Anakin Skywalker, fourteen year old Jedi Padawan, winced as he heard a sudden crash outside of his door. It took barely a moment before he heard an imaginative string of curses from the other room, and he tried unsuccessfully to hide a smile.

"I didn't teach you language like that, master!" Anakin called, a rather daring move if Obi-Wan seemed to be in as bad of a mood as it sounded like.

His door opened to reveal a very disheveled Jedi, who indeed looked quite miffed. "Anakin." The Knight began, voice as calm as ever, though it was easy to tell it was taking a bit of effort to keep it that way. "Care to explain why our living room is a minefield?"

"I wanted to see if you were paying attention?" Anakin suggested, with a small grin. "Which you obviously weren't, judging by what sounded like a very ungraceful crash."

"You're going to be the death of me." Obi-Wan said with a loud sigh. "But I can't even be annoyed with you right now, so thank the Force."

"Huh? Why not?" Anakin asked, looking up from the droid he'd been tinkering with. "Usually nothing stops you."

"Well, you're doing a good job of attempting to prove me wrong, right now." Obi-Wan commented with an eyeroll, before sitting down on the bed next to his Padawan and putting his chin in his hands.

"Okay, what's up?" Anakin asked, all business now. His master looked a bit more forlorn than Anakin liked to see, especially if he wasn't the one causing the problem.

Obi-Wan sighed and, to Anakin's surprise, now looked slightly embarrassed. "The Council has just finished informing me of some sort of horrible class, 'Getting along with your fellow Jedi.' They want me to attend."

"Why, because of that incident with Master Glaive?" Anakin asked, at Obi-Wan's annoyed expression, added, "Not that it wasn't wizard."

"That's not the point, Anakin." Obi-Wan said with a great air of dignity. "But you're to come as well."

Anakin dropped his hydrospanner. "What? Why? I didn't get into a fight!"

"Perhaps not today." Obi-Wan said with an eyeroll. "But the fact remains that the Council is concerned with our combined, erm..."

"Not getting along with our fellow Jedi?" Anakin proposed with a raised eyebrow. Obi-Wan sighed and nodded again, prompting Anakin to respond with a loud sigh of his own. "We're not getting out of this, are we?"

"I tried, Anakin, I assure you." Obi-Wan told him. "I nearly even managed a tear, though I think that somewhat backfired. Master Windu told me to stop complaining and then laughed."

"I would have laughed at you too." Anakin added, before promptly being shoved off the bed. "Hey!"

"I wanted to see if you were paying attention." Obi-Wan said in response to his Padawan's outrage, as if it was perfectly reasonable.

"You know, this is why you're getting sent to that stupid class." Anakin said, as he returned too the bed. He was promptly shoved off again.
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"Jedi and Padawans, you are all here for one reason, which I'm certain you're all aware of." Master Holden began, looking around the room. A large variety of Jedi were gathered, and there were far more of them than the stern Jedi Master would have expected.

Master Holden cleared his throat and continued. "I must admit, I'm disappointed there are... So many of you. Surely your masters taught you better than this! Except for, you know, a few of you who are here with their masters." He cleared his throat again and pointedly eyed a few master/padawans teams present, including Anakin and Obi-Wan.

A hand went up in the crowd, and

 

Loved to see Glaive and Xiss before the Clone wars.

A nice piece of fiction

 

thank you so much for the PM! please keep them coming!


I liked this new installement! very funny and the idea of Jedi inner fighting was fun!
as was the class and especially the conclusion!

though i would have liked to see Obi in a bar, he always seems so at home in them...

 

Nicely done! I really enjoyed this.

 

That was amazing! I love the idea of a class like that for the Jedi. It makes sense if you think about it. With all of those people from very different backgrounds forced to live and work together in closed quarters, some "disagreements" are certain to arise. And it would be just like the Jedi to create a class to ensure harmony.

"To be fair, Glaive's moustache is both offensive and enormous." Obi-Wan explained.

"You're simply jealous because you can barely grow a beard, let alone a moustache as luxurious as mine." Glaive replied, stroking said collection of facial hair.

Obi-Wan scoffed. "It isn't necessary for me to hide my face as it is for you. I don't frighten small children."

"That's because they find kinship with you, as you see eye-to-eye!" Glaive shot back, and as both he and Obi-Wan got to their feet, they were promptly pulled back down by their Padawans.

You write clever banter so well, Amrita. It feels effortless. I especially liked this passage. I also liked the bickering over the muffins. That was so funny.

He really had no idea what had just transpired over the day, but one this was clear: Good things happened when you were self-centered, loud, and difficult. This would be one lesson Anakin would happily learn.

Was that the lesson? Anakin!

Fabulous job with this, Amrita! These little stories never fail to make me laugh. I can't wait for the next one!

 

This whole story is WONDERFUL and wonderfully entertaining.I didn't get into a fight!"

"Perhaps not today." Obi-Wan said with an eyeroll. "But the fact remains that the Council is concerned with our combined, erm..."

"Not getting along with our fellow Jedi?" Anakin proposed with a raised eyebrow. Obi-Wan sighed and nodded again, prompting Anakin to respond with a loud sigh of his own. "We're not getting out of this, are we?"

"I tried, Anakin, I assure you." Obi-Wan told him. "I nearly even managed a tear, though I think that somewhat backfired. Master Windu told me to stop complaining and then laughed."

"I would have laughed at you too." Anakin added, before promptly being shoved off the bed. "Hey!"

"I wanted to see if you were paying attention." Obi-Wan said in response to his Padawan's outrage, as if it was perfectly reasonable.

"You know, this is why you're getting sent to that stupid class." Anakin said, as he returned too the bed. He was promptly shoved off again.

Hey, go ahead, push Anakin around all you want."You're Jedi! You're not supposed to fight over food!"

"But..." A whole bunch of Jedi protested at once, including Anakin.

"No! No buts!" Holden said. Despite his talk of controlling anger, he was obviously losing his temper. "In addition to muffins, you fight over such trivialities as boots and facial hair!"

Better than fighting over SERIOUS stuff.



"Well, I think he successfully made us feel more united." Obi-Wan commented after a moment, earning a raised eyebrow from Anakin. Way to go Kenobi, the first to catch on.


?As for me,? Glaive said, ?I?m going to partake in ?avoid the coming reprimand? and go get drunk in some bar. You?re not coming, Zule.? Glaive and Obi should have gone & left the padawans behind.



He really had no idea what had just transpired over the day, but one this was clear: Good things happened when you were self-centered, loud, and difficult. This would be one lesson Anakin would happily learn.

Now that's a lesson.

 

earlybird-obi-wan - Thanks. I wanted a chance to put Zule and Glaive into something, and this seemed like an amusing way to do it.

ClaudiaR - No problem! Heh, thanks; and yeah, Obi loves the bars. I find squabbling Jedi hilarious so I couldn't resist writing about them.

VaderLVR64 - Thanks!

Nienna_Narmolanya - Hehe, thanks! Yeah, and Jedi tend to have such strong personalities; there's no way they could avoid clashing at least sometimes, especially the younger ones, even if it's about something outstanding stupid. Thanks; I love writing banter so I'm glad it's enjoyed.

Valairy_Scot - Thanks! Heh, I known I'd shove Anakin off of things. Yeah, exactly; at least fights over muffins and moustaches can be resolved with a trip to the store and a razor, right?