Before Of my heart--Tahl survives!--Response to ZaraValinor's "I dare you" challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DarthIshtar, Sep 5, 2005.

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  1. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Zaravalinor the great gave me the challenge to write about how it would have affected Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's relationship if Tahl had survived. After much thought, I have come up with this. I hope you enjoy.
    *****
    "I was wondering when you'd show up."

    Qui-Gon's back was turned to him as he set the tray of food on the bedside table, but he had obviously forgotten to raise his shields before entering the room. As a result, Obi-Wan felt the downward slide of emotions that began with shock, dragged through apprehensive anguish, and settled in the muckpit of resignation.

    "You couldn't have been wondering for very long," he said wryly. "You've only been conscious for thirteen hours."

    "You've been gone for thirteen days," Obi-Wan shot back, half-disgusted with his own audacity in even attempting verbal retaliation. "Do you honestly think I didn't notice?"

    Qui-Gon turned and Obi-Wan knew without a doubt that Qui-Gon considered his impudence to be a grievous blow, the equivalent of a saber thrust to the stomach, but he also knew without a doubt that this was now a matter of an eye for an eye.

    ?Do you honestly think I had a choice?? he mimicked his Padawan?s words, his voice rasping with the force of his anguish. ?Tahl was gravely injured and if she hadn?t been transported immediately, she might have died.?

    Taking your child with her, was the unspoken observation.

    ?I never argued that she wasn?t in danger,? Obi-Wan said with feigned patience. ?I simply remembered that you aren?t the only pilot who could have taken her.?

    ?I?m the only pilot who is her husband!? Qui-Gon roared.

    Instinctively, Obi-Wan shrank back, though he hadn?t had cause to fear his Master like this in years and it was certainly something that no twenty-year-old Jedi should do.

    Nevertheless, there were some situations that drove fear straight into the pit of his stomach and this was one of them.

    ?I-I understand,? he lied through a stammer. ?I?m sorry for my impudence, Master??

    Qui-Gon visibly relaxed at the admission of defeat and turned once more to retrieve the breakfast tray.

    ?I simply expected this day to come sooner,? Obi-Wan said blithely. ?I suppose I should have started expecting it the day that you nearly lost her.?

    ?Explain,? Qui-Gon commanded, but the steadiness of his voice was clearly strained.

    Obi-Wan shrugged with his undamaged shoulder. ?You have always claimed that the greatest gift is to lay down your life for someone,? he reminded. ?I no longer believe that because you have done that for anyone who required it, from me to that two-credit dictator we ran into on Corellia.?

    ?And you begrudge that?? Qui-Gon queried, all steadiness disappearing from his voice.

    ?No,? Obi-Wan stated. ?I begrudge the fact that she is the one for whom you will always be willing to surrender your soul.?

    The dishes on the tray began to rattle, set in motion by the violent trembling of his Master?s hands as he attempted to restrain the urge to hurl the contents at his apprentice.

    ?Sometimes,? he said quietly instead, ?I have had to decide who requires more help on a mission. You know this, since you have faced the same decision a hundred times yourself.?

    ?Yes,? Obi-Wan agreed, ?but I thought the decision to let me die might be more difficult than that.?

    He did not hurl the tray, but it fell from his nerveless fingers nonetheless as his lips parted to hiss softly. ?She was dying,? he repeated.

    ?She stabilized within an hour of your departure,? Obi-Wan countered, ?and I nearly died, but you weren?t there to know about that??

    His jaw clicked shut as he realized the admission he had finally made. Qui-Gon?s brow furrowed deeply around the lines of weariness that the past two weeks had seem to have permanently engraved in his leonine features.

    ?You were unconscious for the last thirteen days,? he murmured. ?How did you??

    Obi-Wan remained silent, knowing that he had already guessed at the answer before even bothering to ask the question.

    ?She stabilized and you went into cardiac
  2. Renton Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2000
    star 4
    :_| That was awesome. I wanted to throtle Qui-Gon but that is my usual response concerning Tahl.
  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    LOL. But it had a happy ending, in spite of tahl. Or because of her. Whichever.
  4. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4

    LOL Oh dear. I feel your pain.

    Ishtar as usual, wonderful job.
  5. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Oh, Ish...that was wonderfully angsty. Lovely work, my dear. I loved that Obi-Wan isn't dissolving into boneless mush and is actually standing up to Qui-Gon. :) [:D]
  6. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Noelie--Renton Kenobi posted:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    That was awesome. I wanted to throtle Qui-Gon but that is my usual response concerning Tahl.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------




    LOL Oh dear. I feel your pain.


    I don't. I want to throttle Qui-Gon only when I think it'll make him look handsome.

    Ishtar as usual, wonderful job.

    Thanks. Good to see you on this side of the boards.

    Princess_Arulmozhi--Oh, Ish...that was wonderfully angsty. Lovely work, my dear. I loved that Obi-Wan isn't dissolving into boneless mush and is actually standing up to Qui-Gon.

    I figured it would be a good precluder to TPM's conflict.
  7. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    Does throttling a man work to make him more handsome? :::Quickly making note in Journal for future reference to self for millenia from now::::::::
  8. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    You know, that just sounds wrong in hindsight.
  9. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    :_| Angst everywhere! Bravo on a superb response to your challenge!
  10. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    That was such a great viggie, I really enjoyed that!

    I too liked how Obi-Wan stood up to Qui-Gon, I was feeling pretty mad at Qui at first for neglecting him.. but then there was a sweet ending. :)

    ?She holds a part of my heart and carries a child that will do the same, but you are the only son of my heart that I will ever have. The choice to let you go will never be easy.?
    :_| :_|

    so sweet! You are such a wonderful writer. :)
  11. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, this is brilliant. You got the conflicted mood that I so wanted to see. Obi-Wan's silent jealousy, Qui-Gon's split heart. Beautiful.
  12. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Thanks, it was a great challenge. :) ::Hubs.::

    Having Obi-wan stand up to Qui-gon made me nervous because even in his snarkiness in TPM, he still defers and apologizes, but I had to have him very stubborn and anguished here.

    Thanks very much!
  13. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh this was great Ish!! *Warm fuzzies* See Obi! He does love you! That was so sweet of Qui to say that at the end!
  14. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  15. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    Angsty and mushy and OMG!
    Need I say more? Okay I will! I loved it!
  16. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    :_|

    That was so sad!!! But it was really sweet in some parts too, bittersweet :)

    I'm glad Qui told Obi that he was the only son in his heart, because the two of them so completely belong together ;)

    Excellent fic =D= =D= Will there be any continuations? :D Maybe about Tahl's child? :D Just wondering ;) Anyways, great job! :)
  17. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Thanks, lost. And there will possibly be a prequel and a continuation. Maybe. If I'm courageous.

    Awww, thanks!
  18. Stella_Ripple Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Oh mushifull goodness! That was wonderful(for us angst lovers at least) ;)

    I don't suppose you'd consider writing anything else with this particular triangle- maybe based on the this situation? Its just that I think you've pinned down a some wonderful character dynamics, it would be v.interesting to see it developed.
  19. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    I have no idea. I really haven't gone much into Tahldom because I created a girlfriend for Qui-Gon to get rid of the need for her.
  20. TRADMIC FanForce CR and President S.W.A.P FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2005
    star 5
    I know what it feels like to be so lonely that you can?t breathe, to have so much despair that you forget who you are.

    I?ve known it too many times because you chose to love her, but I have chosen to allow you to escape the loneliness that I know.

    That is why I will always love my Master more than his wife does.


    :_|

    Great work, loved the mushy-sweet ending, glad I held off in pelting Qui.[face_devil]
  21. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  22. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Wow. That was incredible. You really breathed life into those two and their conflict.

    The tension was thick enough to be sliced by a lightsaber. Great job, Ish.
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