Saga Off to Court. AU. Anakin/Padme. Comedy

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of its original creations. It is all property of George Lucas.

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

"I've been noticing something disturbing in Anakin, he seems more dark, uncontrollable." Amidala said, as she was having a cup of coffee with her good friend General Kenobi.

"I know what you mean, I'm afraid for his well being."

"Please don't tell me you mean the dark side . . . . "

"You don't."

"I didn't, but now that might be the problem."

"Why what do you think."

"I thought he was being unfaitful, but this is much worse, he could be a danger to my unborn child."

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" exclaimed Obi Wan.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"And what do you mean by 'He's being unfaithful.'"

Padme and Anakin had yet to tell anyone about their secret marriage, and that just blurted out.

"So, you are married to Anakin?" The look on Obi Wan's face was perplexed.

"Yes I am, but I'm not sure that was a good idea."

"How long?"

Amidala muttered something incoherent.

"What?"

"Two years."

"Two years, this has been going on behind everyone's back!"

"Yes, but you have to promise me not to tell anyone Master Kenobi."

"Why?"

"Because, I care deeply for Anakin, and I do not want to be responsible for his being kicked out of the Jedi Order."

"I don't know if it is right to help keep your deception, Padme. But I will."

"Thank you."

"Well, thanks for the coffee, but I have to be going, I have a meeting with the Jedi council in about 10 minutes."

------------------------------------------------------
Months had eventually passed, but Anakin's behaviour kept getting stranger and stranger. He was spending an unusual amount of time, working for the Chancellor. Then one day . . . . . .

"Padme? Padme?" Anakin inquired.

Someone opened the door, it was Padme, followed by Captain Typho. They had just come back from the senate.

"Anakin, do you know anything about this?"

Padme took out the holo of the last senate meeting. Palpatine, stood in the chancellor's seat, which was equipped with a spiffy new throne, with a figure right beside him wearing a dark robe.

"I refuse to give up these emeregency powers layed down by this senate, that is why, I am dissolving it. I hereby declare myself Emperor, and a new senate will be appointed to serve as the Imperial Senate. The republic is dead."

The hologram dissapeared.

"Why would I know anything about that?"

"I don't know, maybe because you're standing right beside the man."

"How did you know?"

"Anakin, please tell me you're not going along with what the 'emperor' said."

"Look Padme, it is time for a new order of things, the Jedi Order is decrepit and old. They can't get anything done, not to mention that corruption is rampant among the Jedi."

"Anakin what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, that I am finally free of all those rules layed down by a bunch of 'wise men'. Darth Sidious has promised . . ."

Before he could finish, Padme interrupted.

"Darth Sidious? I knew your behaviour was disturbing, I knew you would fall to the dark side."

"Yes, now I have all the power we ever wanted."

"OK Anakin, I am going to give you exactly ten seconds to promise me that you will stay away from this emperor, he is a bad influence on you. 10. 9. 8."

"What are you going to do Padme."

"Oh you'll see. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3."

"But Padme, I have to listen to my master."

"2. 1. 0." she said. "Time's up. She went to her drawer and took out a piece of paper."

The next words that came out of her mouth shook Anakin to the core.

"I WANT A DIVORCE!"




End of Chapter.

 

WOW!!! Padme can get straight to the point. I don't blame her though. Will this be the reason for Ani's full turn to the dark side? Or could Padme have the divorce and then find another guy like Obi-wan or someone eles. But that is rather cold for Ani. She counts down from ten then says she wants a divorce. More soon please!

 

She can't divorce Ani! NOOOOO!

 

lol. Awsome! It's a great story. I really liked it. I can't wait for Chapter 2.

Star Wars Devorce Court. lol. *gives a thumbs up*

 

------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2

3 weeks later.

"Oye, Oye, Oye. The civil tribunal of Naboo is now in session. All rise for the honorable Judge Nass."

A tall and portly gungan figure walks in.

"The case of Skywalker vs. Skywalker is now in session. You may be seated."

The court sits down.

"Plaintiff Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker you may present your case." the court clerk said.

"Today through careful presentation of expert testimony, and evidence I will prove that is Anakin Skywalker unfit to raise his unborn child, and as a result i demand that a restraining order be placed upon him until such time that I feel he is able to be a competent father, and husband" Padme Said in her coldest political voice. "I wish to call Anakin's jedi master Obi Wan Kenobi to the stand."

A cloaked figure walked up to the witness stand.

"Do you swear to tell the truth as you know concerning this matter." the clerk said.

"I do."

"Please be seated."

Padme came up to Obi Wan. "Obi Wan Kenobi, would you please explain to me the behaviour of your student in recent months."

"Anakin had been acting rather rashly, more so than usual. Ever since the death of his mother he has been very angry. Now I have to admit, I did think these were bad signs, but up to now I had no idea that he would actually attack someone in cold rage. These amateur holo-tapes will show how Anakin, contrary to the rules of the Jedi Order, killed a village full of Tusken raiders in cold blood."

"Let it be known dat this holotape has been entered into evidence against the defendant." The judge said in a big booming Gungan voice.

Suddenly a holoimage of a younger Anakin appeared, and showed the slaughter of Tusken raider women and children. The courtroom gasped as they watched these graphic images of horror. Suddenly the image was cut, and the audience in the courtroom was glaring at the young man in the defendant's seat.

"Any further questions?"

"Just one, your honour. Mr. Obi Wan, as an expert on the Jedi and the Sith, which of the two groups exhibiths this sort of behaviour."

"I would say that the Sith, or any dark Jedi are prone to such behaviour."

"Thank you.

Amidala took a seat.

"Da defendant may begin his cross examination."

An old man [Palpatine] stepped over near the stand.

"You jedi scum."

"Objection your honour" Padme motioned.

"The counsel will avoid such derogatory comments or else they shall be held in contempt."

"No we shant." Palpatine said as he waved a finger.

"Me sorry, but the mind trick not working on a judge who has to negotiate with many jedi arbiters. Will the baliff please take the lawyer away from the court."

The baliff came up, clubbed the emperor in the head which knocked him unconscious and took him away.

"The court will take a ten minute recess until the defendant decides whether he will defend himself, if not, the court will apoint a new arbiter."

The court procession left.

======================================================

"PADME. PADME." Anakin yelled as he tried to get her attention.

"WHAT?" came a cold calculated reply.

"Please lets end this ugly business. We can rule the galaxy as husband and wife, and be a happy family. I still love you."

"WELL I DON'T LOVE YOU. I do not love the man you've become. You are not ANAKIN SKYWALKER. Anakin Skywalker was the nice young boy who gave me that carving on the Nubian ship, HE CERTAINLY WAS NOT THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH."

It took a few moments for Padmé to calm down.

"I swear to the force, that if you do anything to hurt me, my friends, my family, YOU WILL SUFFER. YOU WILL WISH THAT YOU NEVER HEARD THE NAME PADME AMIDALA. YOU THINK THE SITH ARE FULL OF RAGE. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORN'D. REMEMBER THAT."

Amidala started walking away when Anakin used the force to pull her back, and grabbed her by the hair.

"Now listen to m......."

Before another word came out, Anakin collapsed to the floor from a well placed kick.

"Do

 

THat's COMEDY? Interesting twists.

 

Darth Ishtar:I thought it was funny, especially when Palpatine got thumped on the head, and Ani got kicked in his manhood.

Vader's MistressThanks.

Senator_Leia73Well, I don't like Anakin, at all. He is just one of those characters I would like to rip apart.

mixza She can, and she will.

sea_trooper Thanks, this is my first attempt at a fanfic.

I'd like to thank everyone for their nice compliments. However, creative criticism is welcome.

 

Yeah! Go Padme! Put him in his place!!!

 

That was great. I'm loving this. You say this is your first fanfic? It is really GOOD. It's funny in a dark and angry way. I like it.

 

Thanks everyone. I thought nobody was reading my story, so I stopped writing it for a while, but I'm going to pick up where I left from. But please lend some constructive criticism, so I can bring you a better story.

 

Okay. There isn't enough expression. You need to say what the people are doing. Like when Anakin grabbed Padme's hair, you can say:

Amidala started walking away when Anakin extended his arm, using the force to pull her back, and grabbed her by the hair.

"Now listen to m-"

Before another word came out, Anakin collapsed to the floor from a well placed kick. Padme stumbled a few feet away and turned to face Anakin. Her eyes were wild and her face was pink.

"Don't you ever, I mean EVER touch me like that AGAIN. Next time it will be a blaster bolt and not my foot, do you understand?" Padme said in a rage, gritting her teeth. She then threw her head up, and walked away. Leaving Anakin sprawled in a fetal position on the floor.

 

Thank You. I will try to do so in my next chapters.

 

Okay, I admit all those parts were funny, as well as the dialogue, but the whole idea doesn't seem cheerful. Nevertheless, I'm enjoying.

 

Now Palpatine doesn't seem all that scary. I love Padme in this fic she's so cool this is a difficult subject matter but you are doing great