Official Abstinece-Only Sex Ed Discussion V3.0 (Now discussing the rationale)

Looked on the last three pages and decided it would be okay to share my thoughts here....

I've been thinking alot about the sex education I have recieved in my lifetime. I come from a Catholic family and have gone to primarily Catholic schools for my whole life. but before I get into my thoughts, I would just like to establish that I totally admire someone's decision to stay abstinent, and that kids should be educated about and encouraged to be so. It takes someone of courage and commitment to refrain from sexual activity--I have friends that have made that choice.

HOWEVER:
It has come to my attention that I know virtually zero about the facts about sex. Until about three days ago, I didn't know that a condom kept in a guy's wallet was only good for two weeks, or that condoms even HAD expiration dates. I didn't know which STDS the condom does and does not protect you against. I didn't know the statistics that showed your chances of getting an STD or becoming pregnant each time you have another sexual partner. I didn't know if the "abortion pill" was legal. Alot of girls don't know about how long the morning after pill is good for.

Does anyone know about HPV? I sure didn't, and I for damn sure didn't know that it is the same virus that causes cervical cancer.

I still don't know exactly when my body ovulates, I've never given myself a breast exam (and how many guys have checked their balls for cancer?), I don't know when my body is even able to become pregnant. Truth be told, I know very little about my body.

I've held it in my opinion that one's sexuality is something extremely powerful and that it can be used in two ways: to empower, and to demean. I'm not saying that EVERYONE is having sex so we might as well just "be prepared", but what I am saying is that why didn't I know any of this?

Don't get me wrong; I'm angry at my mother, too. And I understand there is a fine line between awareness of an issue and condoning something. And sex shouldn't be about scare-tactics and morality.

Now that I've been reading about this stuff alone in my room at two in the morning, I am starting to get angry. why wasn't I told about this stuff?

And I'm not JUST talking about the Planned Parenthood, "it's your body" happy go lucky approach to things, or the "you'll burn in hell if you have sex" approach, either. Can't there be a sex ed that embraces both? And in high school, why the HELL has no one taught girls and guys about their bodies? Isn't your body like, um, the one thing you have absolute ownership of? Why are more of us not being EMPOWERED by this?

Am I the only one that is intensely angered by being allowed to stumble through every sexual encounter I've had in the past two years almost utterly ignorant? The information was out there! I am so angry at myself, and I'm not trying to say it was solely the fault of my mom and my schools. I guess in my case, my school (Catholic) is supposed to be "leading me down the right path". How am I supposed to know where the heck I'm going (i.e stay disease-free if I don't know how I get them?) To me, it is utter stupidity.

Can someone shake me and tell me to get out of my feminist box and that over 50% of teens today are abstinent? Can someone tell me that I'm not alone in my frusteration and that something needs to be done?

 

I think this is a good topic to discuss.

Personally, I can't think of too many adjectives for "abstinense-only", save for ignorant, negligant, and untenable.

There's only so much burying of the head in the sand you can do before you have to admit you're hurting yourself and more importantly, the people who look to you for guidance. Thus, if it were up to me (and god willing, it will be after the revolu... Ooops, forget that) I'd happily encourage and enforce the responsible teaching of sex-ed.

ES

 

You should try this thread which already exists:

Abstience only sex-ed

 

But I'm really kind of taking it into another branch of discussion. What I'm really talking about here embraces health issues too, similar to the whole "puberty talk" thing. Plus, I didn't see it on any of the three pages. But I miss threads all the time, so WHOOPS for me if I'm wrong.

 

I personally don't think a call for protest is a good starter for discussion, as it probably would encourage more heated exchanges.

It's sort of like "Pro choicers unite, and protest against the pro-life movement!" type of thing.


There (was at least) a discussion going about the pros and cons of said subject, so maybe this one can be retitled and take on V 2.0 status.

 

I didn't even have sex-ed when I was at school. We just worked it out ourselves. Probably why I have three kids!

I agree abstinence only sex ed is irresponsible as it ignores basic biological and anatomical facts that all boys and girls should know.

One thing that AnakinsGirl said though:

I didn't know which STDS the condom does and does not protect you against



My understanding is that condoms protect you against all STDs. What is your source?

 

Good idea. And thank you for being helpful.

EDIT:
It is my understanding that it does not protect you against HPV, which is actually I believe the leading cause of deaths (from STDs) for women in this country. Nobody talks about it because it is VERRRY bad publicity. I do believe gonorrhea or something or other is not protected by the condom. I'm actually still shakey on the issue but I've read from several medical websites that claim it doesnt protect against all STDs, and then there are some that do. Which is why sex-ed is so important, when it's not funded by a politically motivated group like Planned Parenthood or the Catholic church.

 

If a moderator says a topic is OK, it's OK. Please leave forum moderation to the forum moderators.

AnakinsGirl, I'm going to bring most of the abstinence-only sex-ed into this discussion, as the old one is long enough to retire. I feel your point is a good starting base, though, and I commend you for it.

E_S

 

Well, I didn't see your post before I posted the link.

 

No sex ed? Jeez, what school did you go to? We got sex ed up the whazoo at my school.

 

Sex-ed was an excuse for us to get condoms, gratis, fromt he educator and fill them with water and through them from trains ont he way home from school.

Private education. Can you do any less?

E_S

 

My sex ed, in eighth grade, was a talk about periods. I have had NO sexual education since then. And frankly, I'm a little outraged. It's taken me a long time: I've had to hold my friend's sobbing hands as they wait for pregnancy test results, driven friends to Planned Parenthood for emergency contraception...In my opinion, with the amount of information that's out there and in light of the fact that the sexual revolution has already occured, there is NO excuse for not educating women and men about their bodies. No young girl in high school should be worried about carrying diseases or being pregnant. And unless you have a uterus, it is unlikely you will ever know the torture of experiencing the latter. Girls should be entering into sexual relationships KNOWING what they are risking, KNOWING that it is an adult decision, and armed with solid, factual information that can protect their precious bodies and the body of her partner.

 

I went to a Catholic school, and we were provided with all the relevant information.

The difference is that Catholic schools do not encourage premarital promiscuity.

I don't think I knew a single teenager - private or public school - who didn't know that pregnancy could result from unprotected sex.

 

I remember studying the reproductive system in science class but we didn't have any instruction on "sex -ed" as such. I went to a rough as guts public school in Canberra where you were a star if you played rugby league, smoked dope and beat people up at lunchtime.

Perhaps some schools believe sex ed is a matter for parents?

 

Possibly, but I went to a rough as guts public school in Western Sydney and we had a good sex education. We even had to practice putting condoms on bananas at one point. Imagine the hilarity.

 

Did the girls participate?

 

Ok, class....

....peel back the banana skin on unpeeled bananas.

Now, let's rooooll the prophylactic onto the upright banana....

 

It included girls.....and yes it wasn't too different from that, DM.

 

Girls should be entering into sexual relationships KNOWING what they are risking, KNOWING that it is an adult decision, and armed with solid, factual information that can protect their precious bodies and the body of her partner.

I completely agree.

However, how much responsibility should be borne by parents for this type of education. After all, any school curriculum which ostensibly educates young women on how to have safe sex run the risk of accusations that the school endorses such behaviousr.

It's the same issue with installing condom machines in schools and the furore that generally ensues when a schools goes ahead and installs a condom machine.

 

MischeiviousOBVIOUSLY people know that haveing sex without a condom can result in pregnancy. Don't trivialize my posts, please. The whole point of this discussion is to expound on that very fact. When is a woman's body able to conceive? (usually only 3-5 days a month) Thanks for your input; did your school teach you how to read?

...Since you obviously didn't read my original post...

 

You seem to be under the impression that public schools do encourage premarital sex. I certainly didn't get this from anything I learned in high school.

And I don't think anyone's making the claim that any teenager doesn't know that pregnancy can be a result of unprotected sex. I have the feeling that AnakinsGirl is trying to get across that there's a great deal more to sex ed than that, such as different forms besides just a condom and the pill. What diseases each can protect against, etc....

These are the facts and have nothing to do with whether or not it is moral. Both on this topic and several others (most notibly ID), I seem to get the impression that if it doesn't include God, then it must somehow be anti-God. That, gets a big

 

I understand your frustration, but that's not the way to go.

E+S

 

Can I just chime in that I am the father of a 15 year old daughter and nearly everything my daughter knows about safe sex came from me and my daughter's mother. Now I'm not a grandfather at 36 just yet so I hope that we have been successful. Time will tell.

I do think that sex education is primarily the job of the parent and not necessarily the school teacher.

 

I think it's quite on topic. My comment directly relates to the responsibility of teachers, which is the topic. Teachers are not supposed to be preaching sex-ed, merely presenting factual information. Thus, comments saying that public schools are teaching moral values by presenting information becomes a bit ridiculous.

 

I was actually talking to Anakin's Girl and her comments to DM.

E_S