*OFFICIAL THREAD* Crazy Episode III Theories!

Jar Jar will be revelead as a Sith. He is the one who has actually been Sidious' master the whole time. Sidious planted him on Naboo. Jar Jar "falling" on Qui as noo accident.

Obi-Wan is Anakin's brother.

Shmi was lying to everyone and knows that Anakin's father was just another slave.

Padme is evil and is working for Sidious.

 

Luke is the reincarnation of Qui-gon.

 

while some may think yoda gets it on with padme, producing Han's wife, I prefer to think Yoda and Yaddle get it on, however Yaddle isn't fertile, yoda gets out of bed, goes to crap and names it Supershadow.

 

^^^

 

agreeing with starsmuggler, actually reading more into it, jar jar, a true sith, impregnates padme using such, hereto never b efore seen sith powers such as 'Force French Tickler', 'Force Ben Wah', and the ultimate, 'Breach Condom'. Just a thought.

 

Darth Maul will return, as Twins, One will be the upper half of him with robotic legs, and the other will be a robot like grievious with maul's real legs, each of them will have maul's force power.

Then what will happen is they 2 ofthem will beable to combine and make super maul, then Obi wan will cut them strait down the middle and there will be 4 pieces, which they will then beable to creat 4 mauls, possibly even one will have jango's head and Anakin's arm attached too.

 

Yoda is revealed as an overly ripe honeydew melon.

 

Remeber Obi sarcasticaly talking about the queens luggage in TPM to Qui Gonn? Then poor Anakin luggin it around when they went off to Naboo in AOTC?

Since shes knocked up in the next movie will she have even more luggage for some poor unsuspecting guy to carry? Maybe thats how the duel starts, Anakin runs his mouth and Obi responds with yea i came here with her and had to move her luggage for that matter, for the love of the force why couldnt you make it with a girl who travels lighter Anakin?

 

If it is true that Qui-Gon 'created' Luke through the Force from beyond the grave then could another Jedi, let's say....Yoda, have used his influence to 'create' the Chosen One?

Is this why he feels he is to blame for the turn of events in Episode III?

 

If we had only seen the signs, we would have known that Obi-Wan and Dex are gay lovers. They adopt two children (Luke and Leia), but then conservative senators argue that it's unholy for two men, (not to mention inter-racial) to have and want children.

The senate entrusts the children to Padme who is at the time also pregnant. She keeps these two extra children a secret from her husband, Anakin. Little does she know, it's just a bad case of gas; not a child that she carries. She decides to pretend that the children are her's in order to cover up her Gungan-like idiocracy.

When Palpatine learns of these "off-spring" of Anakin, he is immediatly concerned. Because of Anakin's on-the-side love affair with Palpatine, the children may cause Anakin to reconsider what he's doing, and cut off the relationship with Palpatine to become a "family man". (Something Palpatine doesn't want because let's face it, when it comes what goes on in the sack...Anakin is definatly the "chosen-one")

Palpatine dispatches General Grievous to destroy the children. After finding the children, Grievous stands over their cribs. All he has to do is pull the trigger and the two are dead, but in the last second he realizes what a sick monster he has become, and instead turns the gun on himself.

When Padme finds the body of Grievous in her child's bedroom, she decides to hide the children for their safty. First, she decides to entrust the baby girl to a middle-aged, balding, single man named Bail Organa. Next, she dumps her whiny, crying son off on a desert planet to become a work/sex slave to a man named Owen Lars.

Flyin' high...
-Aviator-

 

Anakin and Neo are the same person, the chosen one that fights evil and must become evil to overcome it. Trinity dies aka Padme and Neo/Anakin die from a certain point of view. There is more...

 

Ha Ha Ha at Obi and Dex lol.
Duel Robotic Mauls BRILLIANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

 

I personally would go nuts and walk out if Grevious was a gungan. God save me if he is Jar Jar's father.

 

Lord JarJar,

I totally noticed that too! It made me think that possibly that Trinity is actually pregnant in the end, and the robots came and took out the embryo of Neo's unborn baby and asymilated it. It the becomes the next superpowered Matrix user in the new matrix that was created at the end of "Revolutions". This would be the basis of a sequel trilogy of "The Matrix". Also, wouldn't it be cool if Neo didn't die at the end, but was absorbed by the robots. They encased him in a robot shell and use his powers for their own good. They jack in this sad Neo and use him as a "super agent" that can fly and stop bullets and keep the world under control(This of course would parallel what Darth Vader has become). This is better for them than Smith because they can control him physically with sedatives and brain-washing or something. But it isn't until Neo's son (and/or daughter) come and try and talk to him, does he actually come back and fight for the humans!

We should totally compile our ideas and post them on a Matrix site or something.

EDITS:grammamamer

 

Luke and Leia are not really twins. Darth Maul is Leia's father and Palpatine is Luke's father. Padme marries Anakin to cover it up.

 

Jar Jar = The Phantom Menace!

 

here is my suggestions on crazyness

1) Anakin is a clone, made from the dna of his arm that got cut off

2) Palpatine is a clone, been transfering his essense for over 1000 years (aka EU Clone of Palpatine)

3) Liea is a clone of Padme

4) Obi-wan and Padme are actually lovers and he is the father of Luke, Leia is the daughter of Anakin. notice they are twins, but do not look anything similar.

5) Yoda is the father of the species of Jawas.

6) Chewbacca had a trist with a Jawa who gave berth to a mini wookie and called it an ewok

7) Mace Windo is Lando Calrissian's father

8) Artoo-Detoo has been hired for Victoria's Secret space accessories catalog and shows off his new attachments

9) Obi-wan shows he gets more women that Capt. Kirk

10) Qui-gon Jinn knows of Anakin cause he is his actual father and used a jedi mind trick on Shmi to erase her memories of their romance, cause Qui-gon couldn't afford being kicked out of the temple for getting a piece of Tattooine Booty

11) Mace is mad at Qui-gon for tapping the above mentioned Booty before him.

12) Lucas loved the movie "My mother is a car" so much that he announces that Jango Fetts momma is actually a Corvette

13) we all find out that THX-1138 is actually 13 (1+1+3+8=13) and that it is a lucky number (which also works at being number 13 on this list)

14) Jar Jar binks is actually qui-gon jinn in the old scripts and visa-versa but the fans would not have liked a Gungan as a jedi master

15) Padme falls for Jar-jar because after seeing how long his tongue was in TPM, she just had to call jar-jar her personal Roto-Rooter.

16) Yoda teaches Yaddle how to Yoga with a Paddle (now say that 10x fast)

17) number of times we are going to hear "use the Force" or "May the Force be with you" = 17

18) number of times we hear Mace tell Anakin to Smack his B###H = Priceless

19) The Sith hire Johnny Cochran as their personal representative in a Multi-billion credit lawsuit against the Jedi for monopolizing the Force for their own political gains and not accepting their application to join their fraternal order of Force Weilders.

20) 20 times you are going to read this over again and say to yourselves "Oh no, Darth Brimstone did not just say Yoda teaches Yaddle how to Yoga with a Paddle."

 

getting some good responses

 

jango is a clone

 

INSIDER LEAKS NEW ROTS INFORMATION:

<crazytheory>

As you all know there were never plans for a young Han in ROTS and the scenes written for young Boba have been pulled. But new insider information leaks a surprise scene that has recently been added to the film!

Obi-Wan appears before the Yoda and Mace and lets it be known that Anakin has married Padme. Yoda takes the news so well that Mace is surprised by his reaction and caught off guard. He breaks down and feels compelled to tell Yoda of his own relationship and of his son... Han.

That's it for the scene addition, but clearly we can see now why Boba was out to get Han in the OT! He was seeking revenge for the death of his father. We were all wrong when we assumed he would attempt to kill Mace, of course he was too young, but we never saw the bigger picture and the family feud that is about to begin.

</crazytheory>

 

How about this? After arriving to avenge the death of his crazy bi-polar brother Gen. Grievous, Robocop restores order to the galaxy and defeats the REAL Sidious...ALF.

 

Mon Mothra is Han Solo's mother

Padme and Mace had an affair, Lando is their baby.

Yaddle is Yoda's ex wife

Obi was Qui's son

Darth Plageuis had himself cloned and the clone is Palpatine

Kit Fisto is Ackbar's step cousin.

 

Maul will come back to life and demand better dental benefits from Palpatine. Anakin will admit he has a Twi'lek lover and she is the mother of his children.

 

...It will be revealed that designing metal bikinis is a common entertainment for a sith lord...

 

Darth Vader has a remote control. Wookies cough up furballs and use them as weapons (Hey, perhaps a Tarzan scream again, like Chewbacca did in ROTJ. or maybe even George of the Jungle... seems to fit nicely). Darth Sidious says "Ni" several times, much to Mace's despair. Nr. 5 will appear in a cameo, not alive though.