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*OFFICIAL THREAD* Crazy Episode III Theories!

Discussion in 'Prequel Trilogy' started by Gandalf the Grey, May 30, 2002.

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  1. DarthRevanLOTS

    DarthRevanLOTS Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 7, 2005
    I think that the Jedi will be revealed as Heterosexuals, and the Sith as Homosexuals, as the Heteros are based on (Obi-Wan = John F. Kennedy, Mace = The Big Show, Yoda = Mini-Me). The Homos are made of (Vader = Tiny Toon, Sidious = Leonardo Dicaprio, and Maul = Tommy Lee Jones).

    And I think that Earth was actually Tatooine's brother, with no face, and the face was actually a piece of fried cheese.

    Now stay with me, the cheese was on the sandwich of the first Jedi(Heteros), and it exploded forming the galaxy. Anakin isn't the chosen one, he's simply a bottle of ketchup, and he turns into mustard after joining Sidious.

    After falling through a crack in time, Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly, come, and learn the ways of the Jedi, they both get lightsabers and destroy the Sith way, this is why the Sith hate the Jedi.

    Plus, the actual Chosen one is Neo, but Neo had another bad movie to make, so he wasn't available. So they chose the next closest film on the rack, and that was Shattered Glass, hence Hayden's apperance.

    So then Hayden fought Jackie Chan, and Jet Li. Jackie Chan used his spinning moonsault and duck like reflexes to eat Hayden's face with some cheetos.

    Then Rocky comes back, and faces the son of Apollo Creed, Joe Creed. Then as the fight nears the end, Mr. T runs into the ring with a mop (not a part of his character, he was really cleaning the floor), and stabs both of them through the heart.

    I think this could be a nice tie-in to the movies, what do you think?
  2. deathmachine101

    deathmachine101 Jedi Youngling

    Feb 28, 2005
    top this
    1) yoda was a padawan of sidius
    2)luke is anakins father but used the force to make him young
    3)c3po and r2d2 are acualy spys for the tf
    4)jabba is hans father
    5)leia is chewies sister
  3. DarthTapion

    DarthTapion Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 29, 2004
    " know it to be true....I AM YOUR FATHER" - Palps.

  4. Darth_Aldar

    Darth_Aldar Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 28, 2003
    Look below...
  5. Darth_Aldar

    Darth_Aldar Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 28, 2003

    Well he has his saber at least...

    [link=]Grievous with Mace's saber[/link]
  6. Toxicbob

    Toxicbob Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 4, 2003
    All the clones are gay. Jango Fett was gay, thats why he has a cloned son.

    At night when they are chill'n in the clone factories the have massive dance partys and dance off's while listening to SNAP and other early 90s dance music.

    "you copying bitch! You have the same body armour as me"


    Oh, and they love Kylie Minogue

  7. DarthRevanLOTS

    DarthRevanLOTS Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 7, 2005
    Imagine this:

    This is a parallel universe, Anakin's real name is Rocky Balboa, and Obi-Wan Kenobi is actually Apollo Creed's son, Joe Creed. Okay?

    So they get into a fight, whilst in the corner, Mickey is yelling at the Rock to fight better (The guy who played Mickey is dead, so we unbury him, and tie him on strings, and have his voice put in later.).

    So Joe hits Rocky in the face, which triggers, a bomb to go off, which splatters Mickey into millions of pieces.

    So Rocky and Joe go to the Vietnam Jungles and they kill everyone who lives there. So then, a warhead hits the floor, and Joe Creed takes alot of the blast, so on his death bed, he tells Rocky "Win one for the Joer". So Rocky, goes and destroys Canada and England in anger of Joe.

    So then, Dolph Lungren, I mean, Ivan Drago, challenges Rocky to a fight, and he excepts, Rocky only doesn't fight him, he challenges him to an arm wrestling contest, and WINS! Ivan's arm falls off and he dies of blood loss, and in this Rocky cheers, but he sees Adrian is sleeping with Paulie.

    So he takes a boomerang, and decapitates both of them. Then his son, gets hit by a motorbike, but Rocky still won the fight! Eveyrone is chanting his name "RAMBO, RAMBO, RAMBO".

    Mr. T, comes in, and stabs Rocky through the head with a broom, he was sweeping the floor. Mr. T winks at the screen, and says "I pity the foo' who doesn't use A T and T" and then he gets his head taken off my a Samurai Sword.


    That's a cool movie.
  8. D_Lowe

    D_Lowe Jedi Knight star 6

    Aug 15, 2002
    Okay, let's get crazy.

    George Lucas decides not to release the film! :eek:
  9. DarthRevanLOTS

    DarthRevanLOTS Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 7, 2005
    Rocky and Joe Creed is a cooler plot twist.
  10. Toxicbob

    Toxicbob Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 4, 2003
    Palpatine admires an old postcard from Naboo. He admits to Padme that he'd never go back. Anakin calls in to hassle Palpatine about Naboo. He wants Palpatine to pull his finger out and sign over the Galaxy.

    Anakins pestering wears Palpatine down. Palpatine offers Anakin half the galaxy now and the rest in instalments. Anakins unhappy with the proposition. Palpatine adds that he plans to return to Naboo now.

    Padme reveals to Anakin that Palpatine has no intention of returning to Naboo. Anakin suspects that Palpatines offer may be a red herring. He won't allow Palpatine to get the better of him.

    Mean while

    Obi-wan complains to Yoda that Mace won't give him and Anakin any Missions. Yoda gives his portable telly from his bedroom. Obi-wan explains to Anakin that they now have a portable T.V given to them by Yoda. Essential on long hall missions to the outer rim. "we must be going to get a mission soon, if they've just given us a TV"

  11. sithlord3

    sithlord3 Jedi Youngling

    Mar 9, 2005
    oooh, here's a good one...

    when obi-wan and anakin fight, OBI-WAN falls into the lava, and anakin kills himself from grief! and then obi-wan become darth vader, and is very mean to the jedi because the jedi made him become darth vader (because anakin constitutes as the jedi and anakin made him fall into the lava). there. that's exactly what's going to happen.
  12. Darth_Ramsis

    Darth_Ramsis Jedi Youngling star 1

    Mar 1, 2005
    I posted this on another thread but I think it would be best suited here :)

    Original Vader Rescue Scene

    Sids: Lord Vader!
    Vader: (weakly) Yes, Master?
    Vader: I can't.
    Sids: What?
    Vader: Obi-Wan cut off my legs.
    Sids: It's only a flesh wound.
    Vader: No, I am pretty sure they are gone, Master.
    Sids: Then use your arms and CRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWWWWWLLL!!
    Vader: I.. um.. can't feel my arms.
    Sids: ****, um ok.. um.. can you use your mouth?

    5 hours later

    Sids: May be you wiggle like a worm?
    Vader: I don't like the sand. It's all irritating and it's burning me.
    Sids: Oh, I thought that was my dinner....

    Eventually after, Vader passes out, Sidious finally uses the force to drag Vader to safety and the droids take him to get new legs and arms.

    ::Scene Cut from Ep III titled Back at the beach::

    Sids: Now that you have new arms and legs we can do this scene right!
    Vader: As you wish, but I have to be in the sand again?


    CAPTAIN-PANCAKE Jedi Youngling

    Mar 12, 2005
    i think pancakae kill sith sith

    it feel good panake blast gun WOOSH sound
  14. neutralsideforce

    neutralsideforce Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 16, 2005
    Stan Lee is going to do the writing for episode 7-8-9. I'm not good at jokes, this is my belief. Then, John Romita Jr. will take care of 10-11-12 and the rights will be given to Marvel. That should take about 12 years more in production. George Lucas always let others use his title.
  15. Dexs_Cafe

    Dexs_Cafe Jedi Youngling

    Mar 13, 2005
    There will be more movies after ROTS Such as 7-8-9 this will become like the land before time series, just as you think that the movies are over and they couldn't possibly get any wourse along comes another movie.
  16. JEDEYE2929

    JEDEYE2929 Jedi Youngling

    Mar 15, 2005
  17. DarthBane533

    DarthBane533 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 20, 2004
    dexter jettster is general grievous,

    no wonder how he knew how to use 4 arms!

    you know it makes sense! LOL
  18. AdamtheJedi

    AdamtheJedi Jedi Youngling

    Mar 14, 2005
    -Anakin will actually not be injured by falling into lava, but by a malfunction with a lava lamp.

    -Yoda and Palpatine will settle their differences via breakdance fighting, ala Zoolander

    -Plo Koon and Ki Adi Mundi will try to escape Coruscant, having a rousing "dude where's my starfighter" moment.

    -Jedi who've been built up through two movies and multiple cartoons as well as various EU projects will actually be given respectful fighting deaths.

    -Jedi Knight Booker T will fight with Palpatine, but will lose focus and be cut down during a Spinarooni attempt.

    -Kit Fisto will part his tentacles in a new fashion. No one will notice.

    -General Greivous will reveal himself to be Micheal Bolton.

    -Anakin will accidently kill Padme wiht a force choke in the ehat of the moment. Cuz, ya know...she's into that.

    -Padme will have an affair wiht Greedo, but Anakin will come home and she'll "distract him" allowing Greedo to get away. Luke, the older child, will actually turn out to be Greedo's, proving once and for all....Greedo shot first.

    -Heeheehee....I'm a horrible person.
  19. LeeKenobi

    LeeKenobi Jedi Knight star 6

    Aug 13, 2002
    Palpatine = Sidious' Clone

    Naboo = Dagobah

    Qui-gon = Anakin's father

    Palpatine = Anakin's father

    Darth Maul = General Grievous

    Vader will have white armor.

    Stormtroopers are not Clonetroopers.

    Padme survives.

    Anakin becomes possessed by Maul's spirit.

    Owen and Kenobi = Brothers
  20. JangoFunk

    JangoFunk Jedi Youngling

    Mar 26, 2005
    The biggest surprise in any of the Star Wars movies will be revealed in ROTS near the end when we see that Anakin has been overworked with the Jedi training and his nagging boss, Obi-Wan breathing down his neck all the time. He's also started to hang out with this more laid back Jedi name Darth Vader who starts a fight with him out in a parking lot on Coruscant. Others see the fight and soon Darth and Anakin form a club where a Jedi can feel like a Jedi. The "club" gets out of control though, when more and more recruits join and start taking over the galaxy through the use of guerilla tactics and homemade explosives. It isn't until the very end when it's revealed that Darth is Anakin's wacky split personality. I downloaded some ofthe script from...wherever. Enjoy:

    Anakin paces around his hotel room in Coruscant, suddenly seeing Darth appear on a couch in front of him.
    Anakin: What are you doing here?
    Darth: Easy, don't get your panties in a wad.
    Anakin: Oh, by the Maker, I am you!
    Darth: That's right! I fight like you want to fight, I breathe all cool like you want to breathe, I have kickass armor like you want to have, and I **** like you want to ****.
    Anakin: What about Natalie Portman, all the times you...
    Darth: Technically, that was you all those times.
    (It writes itself, people!)
  21. Juke Skywalker

    Juke Skywalker Force Ghost star 5

    Mar 27, 2004
    OK, some people have read or listened to the
    novelization of ROTS but since a week from now
    all this will be moot, I'll drop a crzy theory
    I've had for a few months.

    When the first images of the ROTS Anakin Unleashed
    figure hit, I noticed (As did many) the soot around
    his eyes (It's also on one of the smaller figures)
    I have a theory that at some point lava splashes
    Anakin's face and blinds him, forcing him to fight
    part of the duel blind. This could also just be the
    soot in his eyes. I think it would be neat. It's
    a goofy theory but there it is.

    I have given up on an old theory that Obi-Wan is
    originally from Tatooine, or is a distant relation to
    the Lars family.
  22. JangoFunk

    JangoFunk Jedi Youngling

    Mar 26, 2005
    Here's the super-secret ending to ROTS:

    Anakin and Obi-wan are lead to a remote area of Tatooine by a handcuffed Palpatine who has given himself up. Just then a Rodian delivers a small package to the area. Obi-wan looks alarmed when he opens the package. Meanwhile a kneeling Palpatine keeps toying with a weary Anakin.

    Palp: You know, I really envy you, youg Jedi.

    Anakin: Shut up! You're a-a ****ing t-shirt at best!

    Palp: I envy that pretty wife of yours too.

    Anakin: I said shut the **** up!(hits Palpatine on the back of the neck.)

    Obi-wan looks over to Anakin with an worried look on his face, the package opened.

    ANakin: What is it? What's in the box?

    Obi-wan: Don't come over here, Anakin.

    Palp: I tried to play house today with you're pretty young didn't work out.

    Anakin: What's in the box? Oh, by the maker, what the ****'s in the ****ing box?(Anakin ignites his saber)

    Obi-wan: Don't, Anakin! Strike him down now and he'll become more powerful than we could imagine.

    Palp: I tried to keep a souvenier. I wanted to remember how she begged for her life, for the life of her unborn children.

    Obi-wan: Shut up!(Obi-wan hit Palpatine, Anakin realizes what's happened)

    Palp: Oh...he didn't know.(Anakin strikes down Palpatine)
  23. xah44

    xah44 Jedi Youngling

    Mar 27, 2005
    So far all the Star Wars movies have been dramatic and serious affairs.

    Episode III will be different. It will be a musical comedy. Based on country music.

    When a pregnant Padme breaks up with Anakin, he will be singing a sci-fi version of "Achy Breaky Heart." Then Palpatine picks up Anakin's spirits with a rousing rendition, complete with Clonetrooper choreography, of "Boot Scootin' Boogie."

    Subsequent to the line-dancing fun, Obi-Wan chases Anakin to the magma planet, accompanied by "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." The two interrupt their swordplay to sing "Ring of Fire" duet style, with an accordion.

    Yoda plays Darth Sidious in a game of poker, with the stakes being the fate of the Jedi Council. "The Gambler" is sung by Kenny Rogers.

    During the slaughter at the Jedi Temple, a woman naked from the waist up runs into the middle of the screen, shakes herself up and down, and then runs off.

    The starship Enterprise warps in, fires torpedos at Darth Vader's star destroyer, then warps out.

    Pursuing the Enterprise, Darth Vader almost flies right through a supernova. He bounces off a pulsar and is deflected through time into an out-of-the way system, so primitive that the beings there don't even have the ability to travel through hyperspace.

    Vader fires on the space shuttle Discovery, orbiting Planet Earth, but Vader is chased away by the Millenium Falcon. The Falcon jettisons an escape pod with the long-lost triplet, Lukeia, renamed Kal-El, who lands in Kansas and is raised by a pleasant farm couple. Vader and the Falcon warp back to Coruscant. Kal-El is put up for adoption and grows up as John F. Kennedy, the secret father of Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and George W. Bush.


    P.S. The movie will gross over $350 million.
  24. Obilieveinme

    Obilieveinme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 27, 2005
    Sids truly loves Anakin. Why else would he come to save him personally. It was his one moment of weakness until underestimating the love of father and son in ROTJ

    He forgot in the end...what he had felt himself in ROTS.
  25. xah44

    xah44 Jedi Youngling

    Mar 27, 2005
    [blockquote]leia is chewies sister [/blockquote]

    And Chewbacca is the long-lost triplet, sibling of Luke and Leia!

    Sorry, but it does say "spoilers!"
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