*OFFICIAL THREAD* PT/Episode III Humor Thread

Some Crazy Theories for Episode III... or could it be ..... Satan ???


- Anakin experiences confusion and mixed feelings of love and rage when he discovers he feels attracted to his master.

- Obi Wan tries to reject him, but he falls under the spell of Anakin's charming words. "You are not like sand... because you have a beard".

- R2D2 and C3PO discover Anakin and Obi Wan in a rather compromising situation. They decide to erase their memories to avoid having to remember such disgusting scenes.

- George Lucas becomes psychotic trying to portray the aforementioned situations and keeping it PG-13 at the same time.

- Padme falls in love with Bobba Fett. After all, she always liked young boys. She gets pregnant - thus, in the end, Luke and Leia share the same genetic code as Bobba Fett and all the troopers. We realize that they are all brothers. Yeepee !

- Obi Wan decides that a Jedi Master cannot be in love with his own Padawan. He opts for celibacy, changes his name to Benjamin Kenobi (later Ben) and goes to live as a hermit.

- In the middle of a long sandstorm, Ben discovers Shmi Skywalker's dead body. Starving, he decides to eat her. From there on, no one ever gets close to him, not even tusken raiders.

- Anakin, feeling guilty of having tempted his own master, decides to learn SM & B. He starts dressing himself in black leather and wearing masks and a whip. His lightsaber keeps on humming, even when it isn't turned on.

- Beru buys herself some blue contact lenses. She cuts her hair and losses 50% of her body weight.

- Palpatine becomes Emperor in front of everybody. No one cares about it.

- Dooku turns 65 yars old, and he decides to move to Florida, where he will spend most of the time painting flowers and taking sunbaths. He ends his days eaten by Jar Jar Binks, who's found living in the sewers. The Crocodile Hunter makes a guest appearance, hunts Jar Jar down, skins him and makes a great pair of boots and two suitcases. Nobody worries, that's the best that Jar Jar would ever become.

- A severe fungus infection caused by humidity makes the leather clothes to be permanently attached to Anakin's skin. He starts speaking about himself as "Dark Leather". The spellchecking software at Death Star makes a mistake and changes his name to "Darth Vader".

- Driven by a mad desire to have more screen time and do more fight scenes, Yoda kills Mace Windu and all the other Jedi. He blames Dark Leather, because no one would ever believe he is the bad guy. When everybody is looking for Leather, Yoda flees into anonimacy to Dagobah. He looks back and yells "so long.... suckers !", speaking coordinately for the first time in his life.

- The Emperor introduces some minor changes to the Death Star plans, and includes a small thermal exhaust port, connected directly to the main reactor. "I don't know why, but i think that it would look cool up there", he explains.

- 2008: Lucasfilms releases a new version of The Empire Strikes Back, where Vader adds the words "... i think" after "I am your father".

 

"I... must... post... !"

 

Sidious: Little did you know that....
*taking off his hood*
Sidious: I'm really Palpatine!

Padme: Chancelor Plapatine?

Obi wan: Oh...

Obi wan: ok now i understand. The reason we didnt know it was him is because of that clever disguise of his......the hood.

Sidious: Laughing histarically, I knew you'd fall for it, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Obi and Ani went to bed, Obi rolled over and Ani was dead.

 

I love this thread!

 

Star Wars Porn !
----------------

Vader: Who's your daddy, uh ? Who's your daddy ? I'm gonna tell ya ! I... am your daddy !!

Luke: Noooooooooooooo.....noo.... yes...yesss... YEEEESSSS !!!

----------------------------

 

From Foxtrot
Darth Vader: Luke, Jason I am your farther.
Luke: Noooooooo!
Jason: Alright!

 

A couple of weeks ago i was eating this peanut butter sandwich, and i left it over the table a couple of minutes. When i returned it was covered with ants. My rage grew intensely, so i took the sandwich and threw it into the trash compactor, ants included.

Later, my girlfriend came back to the house and she saw my face.

"What's wrong, Orbie" - she asked.

"My sandwich !" - i complained - "I prepared a peanut butter sanwich for myself, and left it over the table because my old teacher was on the phone and i was talking to him. When i returned, i discovered that the ants had eaten my sandwich !!! I felt betrayed. So i killed them all. Men ants, women, ants, baby ants. Even the fat ant who had lost its antenae and had to use a white stick to walk around. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I HATE THEM!"

"Well, actually they are animals" - she replied softly.

"Are they ?" - i asked.

"Of course. Specifically, they are insects."

"Well... i suppose that one day, i will become the greatest ant exterminator ever. I will even learn how to stop sandwiches from being infested by ants".

"A plastic bag could be useful" - she said, a little tired.

"You've thought of everything, haven't you ?" - i harshly replied.

I don't know why, but she hasn't come to my house for the last two weeks.

Well, i don't care. I'm developing now a new massive destruction weapon against the ants. I'm calling it the De-ant Star, and it will erase complete ant colonies with the click of just one button. The powerful chemical compounds i'm using on them has forced me to wear leather clothes and a helmet for my protection. God... if only that damn asthma would go away...

 

LOL! Good use of AOTC lines.

 

Some Crazy Theories for Episode III... or could it be ..... Satan ???

This is what will actually happen... believe me ! Or not. Like that guy Ripley.




- In Episode III, Anakin will experience confusion and mixed feelings of love and rage when he discovers that he feels attracted to his master.

- Obi Wan will try to reject him, but he falls under the spell of Anakin's charming words. "You are not like sand... because you have a beard".

- R2D2 and C3PO will discover Anakin and Obi Wan in a rather compromising situation. They decide to erase their memories to avoid having to remember such disgusting scenes.

- George Lucas becomes psychotic trying to portray the aforementioned situations and keeping it PG-13 at the same time. He asks Tim Burton to continue his job with AOTC. Tim will kick John Williams and will change the score for a Danny Elfmann theme.

- Padme will fall in love with Boba Fett. After all, she always liked young boys. She will get pregnant - thus, in the end, Luke and Leia will share the same genetic code as Bobba Fett and all the troopers. We will realize that they are all brothers. Yeepee !

- Obi Wan decides that a Jedi Master cannot be in love with his own Padawan. He opts for celibacy, changes his name to Benjamin Kenobi (later Ben) and goes to live as a hermit.

- In the middle of a long sandstorm, Ben discovers Shmi Skywalker's dead body. Starving, he decides to eat her. From there on, no one ever gets close to him, not even tusken raiders. That will explain why Shmi's tomb is not longer there, and why Tusken Raiders get the hell out of there when they hear him approaching.

- Anakin, feeling guilty of having tempted his own master, decides to learn SM & B. He starts dressing himself in black leather and wearing masks and a whip. His pink lightsaber keeps on humming, even when it isn't turned on.

- Beru buys herself some blue contact lenses. She cuts her hair and losses 50% of her body weight. Also, she becomes english.

- Palpatine becomes Emperor in front of everybody. No one cares about it.

- Dooku turns 65 yars old, and he decides to move to Florida, where he will spend most of the time painting flowers and taking sunbaths. He ends his days eaten by Jar Jar Binks, who's found living in the sewers. The Crocodile Hunter makes a guest appearance, hunts Jar Jar down, skins him and makes a great pair of boots and two suitcases. Nobody worries, that's the best that Jar Jar would ever become.

- A severe fungus infection caused by humidity makes the leather clothes to be permanently attached to Anakin's skin. He starts speaking about himself as "Dark Leather". The spellchecking software at death star makes a mistake and changes his name to "Darth Vader".

- Driven by a mad desire to have more screen time and do more fight scenes, Yoda kills Mace Windu and all the other Jedi. He blames Dark Leather, because no one would ever believe he is the bad guy. When everybody is looking for Leather, Yoda flees into anonimacy to Dagobah. He looks back and yells "so long.... suckers !", speaking coordinately for the first time in his life.

- The Emperor introduces some minor changes to the Death Star plans, and includes a small thermal exhaust port, connected directly to the main reactor. "I don't know why, but i think that it would look cool up there", he will explain later.

- 2008: Lucasfilms releases a new version of The Empire Strikes Back, where Vader adds the words "... i think..." after the "I am your father" line.

- 2010: George Lucas retracts from ever having used the word "midichlorians". He buys every available copy of The Phantom Menace and changes the name, erases the midichlorians, changes the CGI Jar Jar Binks for a guest appearance of Joe Pesci. Danny Glover replays all of the scenes that include Mace Windu. Lucas never gives a reasonable explanation of why he did that.

- 2014: George Lucas changes again The Phantom Menace. He replaces all the scenes with Joe Pesci with scenes including a computer generated Joe Pesci.

- 2018: George

 

In the AOTC Boba Fett book, when Boba saw Padme he liked her too.

 

Episode 3 will show what becomes of Jar Jar Binks.

sometime later on tatooine

Boba Fett: that was some fall, so what's so bad about this sarlaac anyway?

Skiff Guard: it's actually kinda nice down here

Jar Jar Binks: Welcome welcome, misa muy muy happy tose be seein you. Wesa gonna be spendin muy muy time with each other for the next thousand years

All victims of the sarlaac: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

Well that would take care of my problem with everybody else who thinks Boba die in the Sarlacc and doesn't escape I sure would escape if I was traped with Jar Jar for 1,000 in the S-lack

 

Palapatine: Now I must de-activate you C3PO and erase any information you have about these... "events"

CP3O: But! But! Oh my... including my stereotypical gay influences and camp character traits?

Palpatine: Good god no, we need them for the funnier parts of the next trilogy, and yes you can keep the trading card of you with the extened "schlong"

CP3O: Oh my!

-- R2D2's boosters fall off --

R2D2: ****! Er... *whistles randomly*

 

Jar Jar innocently walks into a room at corrascant...he is singing a children's tune when he stumbles onto Padme making love with someone, but it doesn't look like Anakin...

Jar Jar: Ye Gads?? What am mesa seeing??

The mysterious figure turns and we find out it's Yoda...

Yoda: Disturbed us, you have...*ignites saber*

Jar Jar: Mesa sorry...mesa...uhhh...clumsy..

Yoda: Carve you in half I will...

Jar Jar: But mesa a gungan...wesa have a grand love-making skills...comn, mesa show you...

Yoda: Patience, you must learn patience...

*a slight 'chickabow-wow' can be heard from the backround as porn music begins*

Yoda shows his skill with a different kind of saber, and Jar Jar proves once and for all that his tongue can be used for more than just catching food...

 

What makes a forum good? THIS!

 

LOL ! The "chickabow-wow" is a classic from the 70's porn movies...

 

"I find your lack of faith dist, dist, dist, dist, (bangs himself on the head) dist, dist, disturbing.

 

Star Wars episode 3: Rise of the comedy-pire.

 

you are all insane. good humor though.

 

R2: "beep, chirp, skdjlfjsfksjf , beep, beep." (tag you're it)

3PO: "THat's not fair you damned dirty droid."

 

Never thought I'd see this thread again.

Ah, memories

 

(During the closing sequences of the clone wars, Anakin gets unexpected help in a battle...)

Anakin: I sense something...a presence I've not felt since.....

Jar Jar: Annie..It's a messa!

Anakin: I see you continue to call me Annie. You are as clumsy as you are stupid..

Captain Tarpals: Whats a yousa expect? He's an idiot. Messa sorry for bringing him here.

(Anakin force chokes Jar Jar to his death)

Anakin: Apology accepted Captain Tarpals...

 

That's funny?

 

"We are not just Tusken Raiders. We prefer being called Tusken People."