*OFFICIAL THREAD* PT/Episode III Humor Thread

You saw that on another thread!

 

Yeah, probably, but it was fun... it deserves to be here.

 

Humor thread rules!

 

Obi-Wan: Master Yoda. I had trouble with the head librarian.

Yoda: Yes, yeeeeeees! Too sure of themselves, they are!

Obi-Wan: Ah, yeah, right. Anyway, she said that a planet wasn?t there even though I was told that it definitely is there.

Yoda: Hmmmm. Well, Obi-Wan, come over here so the audience can get a good look at young kiddies with lightsabers. Cute they look, hmmmm?

Obi-Wan: Er, yes master, very cute.

Yoda: A good marketing ploy, too, hmmmm?

Obi-Wan: Yes, Master Yoda. Master Lucas has indeed excelled in this instance.

Yoda: If you were a kid, it would make you rush to Kmart to buy a lightsaber, would it not?

Obi-Wan: Uh...about the librarian, master.

Yoda: A jedi has managed to lose a whole planet! Can anyone tell me what happened to it? Is anyone smarter than this brainless loobie who calls himself a jedi?

Little Kid: Yes, master. Someone deleted the planet from the files, master.

Yoda: Ah! A child?s mind! A child?s mind is superior to yours, Obi-Wan!

Obi-Wan: Yes, master. Don?t rub it in, master.

Yoda: He he he... dumbass!

 

LOL! (I should say that to everyone)

 

Hmm, I actually put this up in a couple of other threads in response to insubstantiated rumour posted for no logical reason, but it may just be something with some truth?

The 6 (or 7) degrees of Star Wars

Darth Vader is an apprentice to Palpy who parralels Hitler that parralels Julius Caesar who hunted down Pompay which sounds like Pompeii which was destroyed by the volcano Vesuvius which had lava. That proves that Anakin will fall into the lava and get his wounds that way!"

1. Darth Vader
2. Palpatine
3. Julius Caesar
4. Pompay
5. Pompeii
6. Vesuvius
7. Lava

Connection? I think so. I also think that many people post topics based on some form of the Kevin Bacon game.

L8er

 

If Padme used a lightsaber and ended up in a duel against vader... hehee... here goes nothing...its a bit short...

Vader: You'll be no match for me... *itch!

Padme: Oh yeah? We'll see about that! *padmes does her impressive moves on Vader*

Vader *surprised* OOk... i give up... can we get back together?? I love you so much!

Padme: ...

 

EPISODE III - 90210 !
The Star Wars Soap Opera
------------------------

The Clone Wars have ended.

Anakin has been expelled from the Jedi Order. He wanders around, looking for a job, but he quits after a while.

Depressed, Anakin spends most of his time as a couch potato, remote control in one hand, light saber in the other, watching Wookie TV in underwear, growing fat, his face unshaved. (Nothing that matters at all, because he is not old enough to grow a beard. Neither a goatee).

Padme is pregnant, she is jobless since Palpatine decided to shut the senate. She wanders around the house, picking from the floor dirty clothes and garbage. She looks weary. In fact, she looks a lot like Shmi Skywalker in a bad hair day.


ANAKIN: Padme ! Padme ! PADME !!! Bring me another six pack !


PADME: It's enough ! Why don't you use the force and grab yourself your ****ing beer ???

ANAKIN: Damn &%*"ch. I have to do everything for myself. [Uses the force to open the refrigerator and pulls a beer can for him]

PADME: (Weeps).

ANAKIN: (Opens the can with his robotic hand and drinks). Sith, it's warm ! What the Th'Uck !??

PADME: (crying) The refrigerator doesn't work because we haven't paid the plasma generator fees.... We have no credits, Anakin. Why don't you get a job with Palpatine ??? When he came for dinner last week he told you that he was very interested in your career...

ANAKIN: I don't want to work with him ! I would have to work as Dooku's bitch, and he cut my arm !!!

PADME: Will you ever get over it, won't you !!??? Forget about it !!! I have no insurance, and the twins are gonna be born in two months... Doctor Binks told me that...

ANAKIN: What ??? Dr. WHO ?????

PADME: No, it wasn't Dr.Who. It was Dr.Binks ....

ANAKIN: Jar Jar is a doctor ?

PADME: Well... sort of. I couldn't pay anything better...

ANAKIN: I won't let any gungan to introduce his squamous hands into my woman !! You're my girl, baby, you know ??? (Holds her)

PADME: (Sob...)

ANAKIN: All right. I'll speak with Palpatine tomorrow.

PADME: You will ?

ANAKIN: Yeah. And i will get the money so we can get out of here, and pay the rent to that Yoda guy. I don't like the way he looks at you every time he comes here: "Uuuh - Frisky, are we ? - Into my belly you get ! - Green my mojo is, see it you want ? - Yodadelic !"...

PADME: All right... (she cheers up a little).

ANAKIN: And once we are outta here, i can talk with Grand Moff Tarkin. He says they need workers for the Death Star Project... i am good at making things work. I might even have to use a helmet ! (smiles)

--------------------

(to be continued)...

 

you know Darth Bilbo, of all the theories I've heard that one makes the most sense, if you squint a little, but heck thats the only way to see into Lucas's mind

 

Well, IJG, I think it's a matter of hearing too many stupid theories about ep3. I mean half of them on the boards sound like jar jar, Jake Lloyd, and a bunch of ewoks sat around trying to figure out what was really going on in GL's mind.

What do you expect when you see theories that say "yoda is a sith" or "why does no one remember anything or anyone else" or the best one, "Palpy does not = Sidious".

Maybe Padme likes unwrapping tusken raiders. I bet it smells kind of like a cross between some one that ate too much curry and a 40 year old moldy loaf of bread.

L8er

 

Palpy does not= sidious!!! i mean come on theres solid proof that he's not:

1. Sidious wears a Black cloak, Palpatine doenst(atleast not in the PT)
2. In the credits the Palpatine actor would be listed TWICE if he played 2 parts
3. If Palpatine was a dark lord he would be called "Darth Palpy"
4. I asked my magic 8 ball and it said no
5. All of the above

 

Oh, geez, you just convinced me!

L8er

 

OK, you all know of the famous email substituting "pants" for other words in famous Star Wars lines. (It's posted earlier in this thread, for the few who don't.) Well, I went looking for an AOTC version of the idea at google, and didn't come up with anything, so I made my own. Here's "20 Episode II lines improved by the word Pants":

1) To see you alive brings warm feelings to my pants.

2) We are not going to exceed our pants, my young Padawan learner.

3) Investigation is implied in our pants.

4) She's forgotten pants completely.

5) Anakin, you're focusing on the pants again.

6) And they are more than willing to forget the niceties of pants to get those funds.

7) Sorry, I forgot you don't like pants, Master.

8) You want to go home and rethink your pants.

9) And so, my young Padawan, they have finally given you pants. Your patience has paid off.

10) Sometimes we have to let go of our pants and do what is requested of us.

11) Mentors have a way of seeing more of our pants than we would like. It's the only way we grow.

12) It must be hard having sworn your pants to the Jedi.

13) You're exactly the way I remember you in my pants.

14) Clear your minds and find Obi-Wan's wayward pants, we will.

15) I heard they tried to amend the Constitution so you could stay in pants.

16) I think it would be wise for you to take advantage of my pants in this instance.

17) Fett demanded only one thing -- unaltered pants for himself.

18) Your pants are very impressive. You must be very proud.

19) I wish I could wish my pants away... but I can't.

20) The pants of the dark side have fallen.

 

And here's 10 runners-up that might also amuse you:

The thought of losing pants is unbearable.

I don't need more security, I need pants.

And you will pay attention to my pants.

I don't know why I keep dreaming about pants now.

Be mindful of your pants, Anakin.

You don't need pants, Anakin.

I will be most grateful for your pants, Master Jedi.

Those analysis droids you've got over there only focus on pants, you know.

You must be anxious to inspect the pants for yourself.

You are in my very pants, tormenting me.

 

You've forgotten a classic !!!!!


"Lost his pants Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing, how embarrasing".


--------------------------------

 

OBI-WAN
What took you so long?

ANAKIN
Oh, you know, Master, I couldn't
find pants I really liked,
with straight waist... and with
the right leg length...
and then you know I had to get a
really gonzo color...

 

"Only in your pants, my very young
apprentice. Careful!! Hey, easy!!"

 

"May the pants be with you, always."

"He is as wise as master Yoda and as powerful as master pants-du."

"They are pants, and I wore them like pants!"

 

..."i wore all of them. Not just the men's pants, but also some hotpants and kid's shorts".

 

Thanks for finishing it, my hands became bored.

 

"Master Yoda! You have interfered in our pants for the last time."

 

"The dark pants I sense in you."

 

"Die, Jedi pants !"

 

ok, just this once.

::Cpt Typho on landing pad in opening scene:: "Well, I guess there was no pants (danger/threat) at all"

L8er

 

LOL !

I have to go to sleep. Work tomorrow. My pants need to be ironed. My hands are bored too. But i LOL when i imagine the situations that could lead someone to utter phrases like:


"Around the pants a perimeter create !!!"


I just wonder: What sh** happened to those pants ???