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*OFFICIAL THREAD* PT/Episode III Humor Thread

Discussion in 'Prequel Trilogy' started by ST-TPM-ASF-TNE, Dec 24, 2001.

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  1. jedi_master_gon

    jedi_master_gon Jedi Youngling

    Feb 21, 2006

    Obi-Wan and Yoda try to enter the Jedi Temple, but are stopped by a legion of clones.

    Obi-Wan: We'll handle this.
    Yoda: Really? As if any more Jedi there are to handle this Obi-Wan. *rolls eyes*
    Obi-Wan: No need to be so harsh Master...

    After they destroy all the clones, they recalibrate the code.
    Obi-Wan: Wait Master, there is something I must know... *looks at security recordings*
    Yoda: No need do you, Anakin Skywalker; Darth Vader is. Killed younglings he has. FAILED have you, in teaching your padawan.
    Obi-Wan: Rubbing it in again are you Master?
    Yoda: Destroy the Sith, we must.
    Obi-Wan: Well OF COURSE Yoda what else should we do? I mean it's not like that's our duty as jedi or anything. Should we sit around on ..psssh.. Tatooine or Dagobah for like eighteen years and, oh hey, and i should change my name to BEN yeah ben, and you should totally act like a puppet. please.
    Yoda: Kill Anakin, you will.
    Obi-Wan: No. He's like my brother!
    Yoda: Deserve, that you do. Pathetically too weak you are to fight the Emperor. By the way do you know his true identity?
    Obi-Wan: No his hood is too good of a disguise. And I'm not that weak. I can beat the Emperor, it's not like he'll have the high-ground or whatever.
    Yoda: NO. fight him i will. Anakin you will fight.
    Obi-Wan: fine. *under breath* your shortness will lead to your demise anyway...

    Yoda then gets cold feet and he fails. Obi-Wan ultimately fails anyway, and he doesn't really become more powerful than i could possibly imagine. he just became a force ghost that couldnt do much. powerful.
  2. jedi_master_gon

    jedi_master_gon Jedi Youngling

    Feb 21, 2006

    A: (to Padme) LIAR! You're with HIM! (Yoda) You've turned her against me!
    Y: Done that yourself, you have. Let this dark lord, twist your mind have you, now until, until now, become very thing sworn to destroy you have.
    A: Do not lecture me Yoda... If you're not with me, then you're against me!
    Y: Deals in absolutes, only a sith.


    O: Hello there!
    S: Master Kenobi, you survived.
    O: Surprised?
    S: Actually, yeah I kinda am. I mean, sorry, but you're not exactly the best jedi. Oh yeah, fear the full power of the dark side.
    S blasts O with lightning.
    S: I have been waiting a looong time for this moment.. my medium-sized, Irish friend. *CACKLES*
    Obi-Wan stands up and force pushes Sidious, but it only pushes him back a few steps.. Obi-Wan tries to escape but Sids blocks the exit-way...


    Yoda is being choked by Anakin. He can't kick him so he force tickles him. They continue fighting, on the lava thing and stuff. and all of a sudden Anakin jumps to higher ground.

    A: It's over Yoda. I have the high ground!
    Y: underestimate my power you do.
    A: PLEASE PLEASE don't try it. darn i thought he'd fall for it..
    Yoda gives his HMMF face and jumps and spins and Anakin is left with only one limb burning in lava.
    Y: My great-great-great-great-great-great grandson you were Anakin. Liked you a normal amount I did... And Yoda leaves Mustafar


    Obi-Wan and Sidious fight in the Senate chamber.
    Sidious throws pods at Obiwan, several hit him. He tries to throw one back at him but it still hits him. Sidious ends his fun and cuts him in half, again, again, again, aaaand one more time.

    How we appears in Episodes IV-VI will be explain in Episode X.
  3. Lord_Kosh

    Lord_Kosh Jedi Master star 3

    Oct 20, 2005
    Episode X explanation of Ben's return (version 1):

    In Episode IV, when R2 is interfacing with the Death Star's computer, he steal the plans for the Empire's most diabolical seige weapon, the Flux Device. After destroying the Death Star, a sorrowful Luke seekes to bring back Ben, aka General Kenobi, aka "Doc". With help from R2 and 3PO, Han and Chewie manage to rig the Flux Device to the Nav-Computer. It's what makes time travel possible and allows them to be cloaked in time. Leia is somewhat afraid of causing a paradox in the time continuem, but agrees in hopes of preventing her current hairstyle from becoming fashionable.

    Unfortunately, Han hooked it up backwards. So instead of going backward in time, they jump ahead fifteen years to find that the civil war is over. The Rebellion has won. Han and Leia are both shocked to see that they are married with children. And more disturbing is that the kids are calling Skywalker "Uncle Luke". After some debating between Luke and Leia in the time cloak, Leia realizes that she kissed her brother. Luke is also ashamed at the naughty thoughts he had imagined doing to her -- now his sister. Even backworld moisture farmers know that this is unacceptable conduct between syblings. Had they at least been cousins....?

    Han chuckles at the thought, but is more than happy to reverse this time instance. His kids look too much like Luke anyway. He argues with Luke and Leia about what modification need to be done to reverse the Flux Device. Chewie growls the answer several times, but no one pays him any attention. Feeling he can take it no more, Chewie rips off 3PO's arms and tosses them against the wall. All the humans look shocked and in fear. Chewie reaches down, unplugs the red and blue wires and switches them. Nodding his head, the wookie grunts. Luke's shaky hands tap the hyperdrive, and they jump back in time.

    This time they go over fifty years back. When they jump back into normal space, Han sees a space station and tries to dock inside. As he's landing, the left landing brace crushes a young man attempting to guide them in. A guilty Han goes outside and reads the name tag: "Jim Kenobi". Han looks up and catches Luke and Leia's eyes, "Oh, I got a bad feeling about this."

    From the far side of the landing bay, a young woman emerges from the habitat deck. Enraged, she says, "Oh my god. You killed Kenobi?"

    "You wamprat!" Luke adds. "Sorry about my friend. He is new at this. What is your name?"

    "Kim Kenobi. But my husband, will he be alright?"

    "He's dead, Kim. Hey Chewie, can you grab some of the Bothan Ale out of the storage unit? Kim, this will make you feel better."

    Hours go by and Kim and Luke get "hammered". With a massive hangover, Luke wakes up the next morning. He was beside the sleeping and barely covered Kim Kenobi. "Oh oh. I have a bad feeling about this." He checks the computer terminal on the nightstand as he is still stretching to get himself ready for the day. Nine months to the day from when Ben was born.

    {Ben is now still alive, but he is more powerful than he was...being of the Skywalker bloodline. So he shrugs of Yoda's inflicted wounds as "Only a flesh wound."}

    "Choke on that, Causality" -- Professor Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama)
  4. jedi_master_gon

    jedi_master_gon Jedi Youngling

    Feb 21, 2006
    Obi: I'm afraid Anakin has turned, to VISA.
    Padme: It can't be. That's not true!
    Obi: It is. I have seen credit reports of him... buying a metal suit. Now you may be bankrupt. The suit cost George Lucas half of how much he made in the first movie!
    Padme: *can't think of anything..*
    Obi: It's Anakin's apartment isn't it?
    Padme looks down in shame
    Obi: I'm so sorry. But to get out of bankruptcy, the council DID say you could do ONE thing.
    Padme: what did they say?!
    Obi: You COULD give ME the apartment.
  5. Lord_Kosh

    Lord_Kosh Jedi Master star 3

    Oct 20, 2005
    We have all seen the movies and how GL depicts Anakin's turn into Darth Vader. I offer up these reasons as additional --and perhaps more important-- explanations behind Anakin's merge with the dark side of the force. ;) Please feel free to add other reasons to the list.

    Potential reasons Anakin really turned to the dark side:

    Desperate to kill off Jar Jar, but the Jedi Code wouldn't allow it.

    Tired of everyone calling him "Ani", even as an adult.

    Killing Tusken Raiders just feels oh so good.

    Black is a much cooler color than the drab brown and tan that the Jedi normally use.

    Tired of repeatedly rescuing Obi-Wan.

    Palpatine needed a power of attourney to get out of the galactic nursing home.


    Tired of the Jedi Council still laughing at him for missing his mommy during his trials.

    He can play his favorite game, "Pop goes the Planet".

    Never wanted kids...especially a whiny brat for a son (EP IV)...brings back too many memories.

    Tired of having to buy new legs=no pants.

    "He told me to..."

    Always wanted Padme to call him a "bad boy".

    Jedi initiation really hurts.

    He bet an arm and a leg he could do it.

    His crank calls sound better coming through a resporator.

    Making friends in the Jedi academy is hard when everyone calls you "the chosen one."

    As a Sith lord, you can take more deductions.
  6. Lord_Kosh

    Lord_Kosh Jedi Master star 3

    Oct 20, 2005
    Fun and interesting ways Jar Jar could have been killed...and uses for him later:

    Landspeeder traffic accident on Tatooine.
    Death Star test target.
    Podracer tug-o-war.
    Flame broiled 100% ground Binks patties.
    Bantha toothbrush.
    Gungan-skin boots for AT-ST or AT-PT.
    Lightsaber sharpener.
    Ewok winter's gotta get cold sometimes, why else would they have all that fur.
    Wookie rawhide chew toy.
    Rancor treat.
    Toothpick for Sarlacc.
    Organ Donor for wounded Jedi.
    Poster-child/Gungan for why Clones should refrain from sexual reproduction...yes, he can be dead.
    TIE-Crawler spare tread.
    Imperial lightning rod.

  7. LadyVader93

    LadyVader93 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Apr 1, 2006
    yoda-here comes another one, here it comes a again
    obi-wan- here comes another one, when will it ever end

    said when padme keeps on having children b/c shes secretly a prostitute constantly having sex
    and anakin thinks that he formed these little creatures that look part smuggler, alien, hutt, and twiliek..hehe

    song=here comes another one from monty python!!!!!

    MONTY PYTHON RULES!!!!!!!not as much as sw though.....hehehe mhahahamwahaahaha[face_dancing]
  8. Lord_Kosh

    Lord_Kosh Jedi Master star 3

    Oct 20, 2005
    It would have been funny if Anakin told Obiwan that his wounds were only a scratch...just a flesh wound. And then taunted Obiwan and tried to bite him. "Quest for the Holy Grail"-style.
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