JCC ~~** OFFICIAL **~~ WACKY NEWS DEPOSITORY THREAD. TOS MINDED. MOD APPROVED. PROBABLY

Someone in Florida has opened a Hunger Games-themed summer camp....

 

Population control!!

 

Poll: 2 percent in Alaska support George Zimmerman for president

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/Blog/20...George-Zimmerman-for-president/1291375468677/

And his running mate....

 

I guess you have to find a way to cull those Spring Breakers from the retirees somehow.

 

I don't even . . . on what possible grounds . . . I mean, I know we've been moving away from requiring executive experience, but is the lone qualification for the office now shooting a black teenager?

 

Yay America!!

 

Boston radio station's "Taylor Swift's Biggest Fan" contest cancelled....after a 39 year old man wins.

 

Most likely, nothing more than willful skewering by the folks being polled, akin to the people who mark "Jedi" as their religion on census forms.

 

Chinese man tries to board plane with pet turtle disguised as hamburger

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/203...plane-with-pet-turtle-disguised-as-hamburger/

 

That looks like it had to be painful for the turtle.

 

The photoshopped one? Yeah.

 

A man in Georgia decided to call 9-1-1 after not receiving everything he ordered during a recent trip to his local McDonald’s.


“I called the police and thinking that everything all cool by calling the police,” he says. “I didn’t know I was misusing 9-1-1.”
But that’s exactly what the officer who showed up on the scene charged him with. His call about the missing McDouble landed him in a jail cell overnight.
“I want justice,” he tells WALB. “I want to be treated like a person with respect.”

 

“I want to be treated like a person with respect.”

Said the black guy wearing a banana yellow pimp suit.

Yeah, I know this probably belongs in the racist thoughts thread, but it needed to be said.

 

How can you not know that a missing McDouble is not an emergency?

 

Speaking of McDonald's emergencies....Big Mac Attack in Florida. Literally.

Tampa, Florida -- An argument over cutting in line at a McDonalds drive-thru ended with a man stabbed in the butt and a woman on her way to jail.

 

i kept laughing at butt stab.
probably didn't even notice it, considering where and over what they fought.

hahahaha stabbed in the butt at mcdonalds

 

Wait it was a drive thru? That's even funnier.

 

I knew something like this was going to happen when they started that double-lane drive-thru thing.

 

Those are so much fun! I can throw napkins at the car next to me just for lols and the driver will assume that it's the person in front of them.

 

It's all fun and games until someone gets stabbed in the butt.

 

I really shouldn't be laughing as hard as I am.

 

Scandinavian skinny-dippers warned of testicle-biting fish

 

What about the dreaded candiru, a naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man's urethra?

 

those poor fish

 

Guys...you better sit down for this one...

Man's penis splits open when nurse forgets to deflate catheter

This was the noise he made when it happened: