Official Write/Rewrite Challenge Response Thread...Voting Underway

Please see the Official thread for rules and rewards here: The Official Write/Rewrite Challenge Thread

Your first challenge is:

Write a scene from any of the Zahn books so that the entire tone is changed. Bonus points if you use the same dialogue, but end up with a completely different intention.

Please post your entries in this thread if they belong on the Saga board.

Entries are due one week from today, Monday, January 17 at midnight board time.

Good luck and happy writing!!

 

During the Clone Wars, Asajj Ventress became one of the most feared beings in the Galaxy due to her defeat of several Jedi. She also became the bitter enemy of both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Your challenge is to write a scene focused on her first encounter with either Obi-Wan or Anakin or both. The setting and circumstances of this meeting are totally up to you.

Entries are due one week from today, Monday Jan 31 at midnight board time.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

good luck!

 

Ohma d?un
Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
Timeframe: Clone wars
Characters: Obi-Wan, Asajj Ventress, Durge, Zule Xiss
Genre: vignette
Summary: Obi-Wan meets Ventress
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by G.L.


?Glaive!? Obi-Wan shouted when he saw the swirling red light of two weapons slicing through the neck of the master.

?Why?? He heard the mechanical breathing of the monster they had met earlier but the familiar sound of a lightsaber? Why didn?t he feel in the Force who was wielding that?
Who had sneaked up on them, killing Glaive by surprise?
But that monster had told him. He had a master.
All these thoughts were going through Obi-Wan?s mind in a split second when he was turning around and saw ? a woman.

It was a woman ? sickly white skin adorned with tattoos ? a formfitting synthleather uniform with curves at the right places and two lightsabers.

?I have seen a lightsaber like that before. Count Dooku had one on Geonosis. Who is she??

She was throwing her cloak ? just like he did always before getting ready to fight ? in the swamp, revealing more of her muscular form. She was telling him that the Jedi she had once cherished were weak and mindless fools and that Count Dooku was right about exterminating them.

She jumped and slashed.

He was quick to avoid that but she lifted him in a Force grip.

And he heard the chuckle of Durge.
He had to escape this.

A blasterbolt singed his left shoulder and he fell in the cloying mud, feeling more and more miserable from the swamp gas that was affecting his nerves, his breathing, his ?

Faintly he heard Zule Xiss battling Durge and coming to his aid.
They had to stay together, protect each other.

Zombie Gungans and the twin bladed Sith were quite a match.

Obi-Wan was getting weaker and weaker. ?I have to defend. I have to escape. I have to find a cure.? He was in Soresu mode, defending only, unable to attack but standing tall. And he felt his padawan. ?Anakin come!?

And Anakin was there and the woman took a Force assisted jump.

And Obi-Wan saw her flying away in the arms of Durge. He was sure that he would meet her again ? soon.

But first he had to overcome the effects of the swamp gas.

 

Title: Holding Out Hope
Author: Valairy_Scot
Timeframe: Before the Saga, Saga
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Asajj Ventress, very minor Anakin Skywalker and Qui-Gon Jinn
Genre: Challenge
Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Asajj Ventress
Summary: Sometimes hope requires a leap of faith
Note: about half takes place Before the Saga, half in Saga, so I put it here.


Holding out Hope


It was the hand that Ventress remembered.

?Hey, there ? take my hand and I?ll pull you free. I will save you.?

Yes, she remembered, both the hand and the eyes ? the latter with a twinkle in them, though it was in the midst of battle. A young boy, it had been, squatting beside the pile of bodies haphazardly stacked like an unkempt wood pile above her and reaching a hand to hers. Hers was red, she remembered, red and grimy. His, pale and untouched.

She had almost believed him.

?Obi-Wan,? another voice rang out, an older voice, a note of warning and perhaps ? perhaps a note of fear.

?Sorry, but I?ll be back,? the boy whispered. ?I promise.?

The next moment he was gone, jumping to his feet and twirling, his lightsaber held before him to block the blow that might have taken his life, had he not heeded the warning in time. The blow that took him away from a scared, bloody little girl?s side, leaving her underneath a pile of bodies.

Bodies, whose life blood dripped into her face. Onto her hands. Their blood was on her hands, for she had killed some of them, but not in time. So much blood for a child?those who killed her parents before her eyes and died for their deed years ago. Those who killed Ky Naroc not so long ago and died, also, for their deeds.

She was trapped in a coffin of her own making.

She couldn?t move, couldn?t breathe, couldn?t die like this, a frightened and angry child of nine under a pile of those whom she had killed.

?Are you okay?? That cultured voice came close again, a whisper.

?Save me,? she whispered and slid a hand out. A hand grasped it, closed around it. Warm and comforting. Hope was in that hand. Life was in that hand.

Blood was on that hand.

Her blood and the blood of those she had killed.

Now it was on his. This boy, not much older than her. Contaminated, this beacon of light in the darkness, by whom he reached to. She would be his downfall rather than he her salvation. To save him she would have to sacrifice herself.

?Go,? she croaked. ?I?ll be here when you finish?come back when it?s safe.?

?Are you sure?? This warrior boy sounded doubtful. ?I think my master can finish this without me.?

?Go!?

After a moment?s hesitation, she heard his feet shuffle. He ducked down and stared into her eyes. ?When next you clasp my hand, know I will pull you to safety. I promise.?

His voice was so young and sure. His eyes so warm and confident. His hands now so red like hers.

??kay.? The lie trembled from her lips. When she was sure he was gone, she found a burst of strength and slithered free from those who would entrap her even in their death. From those who thought to save her.

From this Obi-Wan who so desperately wished to save not just the galaxy, but her.

There was no salvation for those with blood on their hands. She would only bring them ? him - down with her.

Because life had taught her that those who were good were weak. They died young. They died at the hands of others. They could not save others, for they could not even save themselves.

Foolish, foolish men ? to think salvation was theirs to offer. Foolish, foolish boy ? to think his mere hand holding hers would cleanse her soul of the corruption already rotting her from the inside out.

He had touched her and if he touched her again, he would die, too, still good, or live, rotting just like her.

That offer of his hand had doomed him either way.

She knew, because she could see the hand she had reached back with. It was not clean. She could see again his hand as it withd

 

Title: Remembering
Author: meglw0228/mastermeg_0228
Pairings: Obi/Asajj
Timeframe: around 22 BBY
Characters: Asajj, Obi-Wan, mentions of Count Dooku and Darth Sidious
Genre: drama, angst, romance, AR
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Just playing with Mr. Lucas?s works. I?ll put them back, just not properly! Anyway, I own nothing. Any similarities between this story and any other fanfic are coincidental.
Summary: Asajj tries to remember the previous night.
Word Count: 974
Notes: This is very AR! The only thing I knew of Asajj was what I had read on wookiepedia, but it seemed like an interesting challenge, and this idea popped into my head after reading that Obi liked calling her ?my dear?. I had finished this on February 1st but was one day late to post, and figured I?d just post it as it?s own story, but since the challenge was extended, enjoy!


Remembering


It was morning, and Asajj couldn?t remember anything that happened last night. She remembered Dooku coming to find her almost a week ago, and leaving with him two days ago to meet his master, but after that it became a huge blur. She sat up in the bed, checked the chrono and remembered her meeting in two hours. She got up and looked around, vaguely recalling Dooku showing her the place after reaching Coruscant, and him telling her she could stay here till they left.

As she walked to the adjoining refresher she tried using a Jedi memory-enhancing technique that her old Master had taught her. It didn?t work as well as she hoped but she did recollect a few more memories. She remembered leaving the room a little after Dooku, and stopping at a cantina. She had seen a human man standing at the bar, and had talked to him. She sighed as the memory slipped away again, and got into the shower. As she washed her body, she noticed bruises starting to form on her arms and legs and a soreness resonating through her muscles. She knew what had caused the soreness but didn?t know who. The bruises were a whole other matter.

Asajj dried off and walked over to where she had stashed her bag with her belongings, thinking of the previous night. She rubbed her bald head in frustration when no more memories would come, and grabbed the flowing dress Dooku had told her to wear. It was casual enough that most wouldn?t have looked twice, which was what they wanted.

After dressing she met Dooku outside the building and they left to meet Darth Sidious.

~~~

Asajj spent five hours in training with Dooku, while being watched by Sidious. When she finally returned to the room Dooku had provided she felt too exhausted to move. She slumped to the bed and fell into a dreamless sleep, not remembering her previous forgotten day.

When she awoke, her head was pounding and she noticed more bruises on her body than before she had left. The only good thing about waking up was her mind offering her more clarity to the missing day. Asajj didn?t know if it was because of something that had happened during the training duel or the full night?s rest, but she now had a clear memory of that night.

She remembered leaving this room and going for a walk, and ending at a cantina a few blocks away. She remembered having a few drinks, and then a drunken human male starting a fight with her. She had held her own just fine as she remembered, with the Force on her side of course she had, but the man had also gotten in a few punches and kicks of his own. Then a man had stepped between them. He had held a lit lightsaber between the two of them, and had warned off the drunken man.

?I could have handled him just fine!? She remembered snapping at him, insulted that he would end her fight. Insulted that a Jedi had interfered with her business.

Asajj remembered sitting back down and ordering another drink. The Jedi had sat next to her, sipping his own drink. He had apologized to her, but she wasn?t sure what he was even apologizing for. They continued to sit there; she drank three more drinks, while he

 

The deadline for entries has passed.

Voting is now underway

Anyone and everyone, including the entrants, are welcome to cast one vote each. Please PM either myself or DarthIshtar with your vote. Voting will end at midnight board time, Friday, February 18. The winner will be announced Saturday, February 19.

Entrants:

earlybird-obi-wan
Valairy_Scot
mastermeg_0228

Good luck everyone!

 

I apologize for the delay - I had internet issues yesterday

The votes have been counted and we have a winner.

Congrats to:

*drumroll*

mastermeg_0028!! Enjoy your week of colors



Thank you to all the participants, the entries were awesome!

So our winner can enjoy her colors, the next challenge will be posted Monday, February 28

 

Time for a new challenge:

?Greed can be a powerful ally?? Qui-Gon Jinn - The Phantom Menace.

A strange quote for a Jedi, wouldn?t you agree? Your challenge this time is to write a scene around that quote. Your only requirement is that Qui-Gon must appear in the scene somewhere. He can be a Force ghost teaching someone or very much alive, it?s your choice. The time frame and other characters are also up to you.

Because the dare challenge is also ongoing, we are going to extend the deadline to two weeks instead of the typical one. So, all entries are due by Midnight, board time, Monday April 4.


Good Luck!

 

Can he be in a thought or memory?

 

Yes.

 

Title: The Short of It
Summary: Greed can be a powerful ally respose.




Obi-Wan Kenobi couldn't believe what he had heard. Anakin had really done it this time! Teaching the other Padawan's how to gamble.

The boy had picked up the game from his time on Tatooine. Obi-Wan knew this, and had made certain allowances for Anakin because he knew that the boy was never raised in the Temple from early childhood or from infancy. Anakin simply did not understand many of the rules which was expected for Padawan's to follow.

Gambling was prohibited. There was nothing more to understand with that one. Why the boy couldn't get it was getting to be beyond Obi-Wan. Anakin was fourteen, he was no longer a child. Why couldn't he understand...

?Anakin, I hear that you were teaching the other Padawan's how to gamble...?

Anakin looked up from the holo-history book and sighed. He moved to put the book on the desk inside their small study room. ?I told them, it wasn't me.?

?Just who do you expect me to believe it was then??

?Honest, Obi-Wan. I was only doing what...?

?Enough! Continue to study! I want you to write me a report on the book you are reading. At least sixteen pages in length.?

?Awe, but...?

?I have had enough for one day, Anakin! Good night!?

Anakin sighed again in frustration and turned to the Jedi ghost his master obviously didn't see beside him.

?Why did you let me take the fall, master Jinn? That so wasn't fair...?

?As I have told you before, Anakin, greed can be a powerful ally!?

?What ever you say, Qui-Gon!?

 

Greed can be a powerful ally...

"Obi-Wan."

The Jedi Knight raised his blue-grey eyes from the datapad he had been reading and rested them on the woman who had just walked in to his quarters. "I noticed my new lock hasn't stopped you, Siri." His tone was mildly amused, although a slight trace of annoyance edged it.

Siri Tachi pushed a stray lock of golden hair behind an ear impatiently, her clear blue orbs gazing at the Jedi impudently. "When have they ever? However, I'm not here to try out your new lock, which Anakin told me about, by the way. I need your help."

Obi-Wan allowed himself a faint smile as he set his datapad on the desk beside him. Propping his leg up on his knee, he settled back in his chair comfortably. "Help with what?"

Siri gestured towards a chair, asking ironically. "May I?" At his nod, she seated herself. "It's this game..."

Obi-Wan stood up, raising an eyebrow at her humble expression. "A game. This better not be like last time."

Siri chuckled, remembering the last time she had convinced Obi-Wan to assist her in a challenge. "Obi-Wan. I really need your help."

"For what?"

Siri leaned close, almost whispering in the crowded cafeteria room. "I need to find this black market weapon or I'm doomed."

Siri smiled, remembering his open mouthed, shocked expression at her words.

"Siri, pay attention. I don't want a repeat. Do you hear me? I do not want to go through that again."

After wandering the dirty streets of the Coruscaunt's lower levels for a cycle or two, they had met with the dealer, along with his 'gang.' The gang consisted of a few Rakatas, Twi'leks, and a Wookiee.

Neither Jedi liked the glares they were receiving as they instantly realized that these weren't black market dealers. The whole atmosphere reeked of the drinks they had been having.

Obi-Wan leaned over towards Siri, enunciating each word clearly. "I know what you are thinking. Remember what happened? We are not doing that again."

One of the twi'leks leaned over, flashing his broken teeth in a gruesome smile. "What do you want?" Siri almost reeled backward with the foulness of his breath. "Nothing. We stepped into the wrong place. If you'll excuse us." She turned to go, only to be stopped by the Wookiee who stood behind them.

Obi-Wan glared at Siri, a wordless communication jumping between their gazes. Time to go. With a leap into the air, both Jedi pulled out their lightsabers, deflecting the lasers that came at them from the corners of the room.

Kenobi cursed under his breath, the huttese reaching Siri unintentionally. That was the moment he became uncomfortably conscious of the greedy glances that were being drawn to his weapon. "Time to go." he murmured under his breath to Siri.

Both bounded into the air, evading the shots that wended their way towards the pair. As the Jedi accomplished a Force-propelled dash to the door, the Rakata hissed in frustration. "Follow them!"

Siri took a hold of Obi-Wan's hands. "It will not happen again."

Siri pulled at Obi-Wan's arm, gesturing towards a secluded alley on his left. With a curt nod, Obi-Wan somersaulted in, avoiding the bolts that screamed angrily above. Right behind him, Siri deflected the stray bolts that threatened to rebound into the alley.

Turning a corner, Obi-Wan skidded to a halt, his voice rising in irritation. "It's a dead end, Siri."

The latter stopped at his side, her blue eyes widening in recognition. "This way." She pulled herself into a chute, sliding down through a slimy substance that was as revolting as it's stench. Shaking his head, Kenobi followed, with only a backward glance to notice that the gang had not turned into the alley yet.

A loud rip sounded ominously loud as Obi-Wan slid down the tunnel. "Siri, I think I..." He shot out of the hole, landing in a heap of garbage.

Siri raised a box, grinning in satisfaction. "This is where they were hiding the weapons. We're done here."

Tachi stood up. "It will never happen again. I promise."

Obi-Wan nod

 

The deadline for entries has passed. Let the voting commence

The Entrants:

earlybird-obi-wan Before Saga Response Thread
Sara_Kenobi
Cade_Cryocharger

Voting is open to everyone. Please PM me or DarthIshtar with your vote by midnight, Friday April 8. The winner will be announced Saturday morning.

 

The time for voting has ended and we have a winner.

Congrats go to.....*drumroll*....

Sara_Kenobi!!

Congrats and enjoy your colors



And thank you to all the participants. The entries were great.

 

Snowsuit up for a new challenge!

"You didn't see us alone in the South passage. She expressed her true feelings for me." ~Han Solo

We all know what happened in the...ahem...South passage. Your challenge for the next two weeks (since we're all still recovering from dares) is to tell a different interpretation of that quote. Was that when Leia gave Han his first dislocated knee? When Han did an interpretive dance? When all hell broke loose? It's up to you.

Because this is going up late Thursday night, you have until two weeks from tomorrow to post.

Good luck!

 

Just playing in GL's sandbox.

Tauntaun perfume

?Eech,? Leia Organa almost bumped into the retreating bulky figure in snow fatigues.

?Says the lovely Princess,? Han smirked. ?I had to gut that Tauntaun to keep the stubborn farmboy alive. And you know Tauntaun?s don?t eat perfumed vegetables or other exquise Royal food.?

?What do you know??

?Uh not that much,? Han interrupted and surmising this was a conversation about food he continued ?As a smuggler you see the dredges and scum in the places you have to call home for a day or more. And you have to grab and eat what you can get princess. And you know with bountyhunters following your tail??

?Your tail? Our tail? As in together? Han sorry but I have to thank you for,? Leia started.

?Saving your boy friend? Han rolled with his eyes and was turning away when Leia grabbed him.?

?No,? Leia coloured, reached to him but recoiled when the Tauntaun stench entered her nose and ran away.

 

He was falling and he was alive. But he was feeling that his life-forces were draining away rapidly.

There was regret. His life ? his short life ? was about to end in a few minutes.

There was shame. He had not been able to slay both Jedi.

- - -

For a moment he had felt the victory when his opponent was hanging in that pit.
The Jedi should have fallen down to his death.

For a moment he had felt the anger and fear radiating from the young man.

For a moment he had seen himself fuelled by anger and fear doing tasks at his master?s beck and call.

For a moment he had grasped what the Force was implying. Light and dark were two sides of the Force needing each other.

- - -

He saw the fear and anger in the murky blue eyes of the Jedi staring up to him.

And he saw that fear and anger replaced by something else; love and forgiveness. The Jedi forgave him. He had killed the master. But the Jedi forgave him.

That was the moment after the Jedi leaped out of the pit, calling the lightsaber of his fallen master to his hand and swiping it through his middle, cutting him in half.

That was the moment when he forgave the Jedi for killing him.

- - -

And he didn?t feel anything anymore. Or was it?
He was one with the Force.

 

Greens of home
Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
Timeframe: before AOTC
Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Siri Tachi
Genre: rewrite
Summary: Obi-Wan before he hears that he has to guard Amidala
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by G.L.

Greens of home

They had returned from Ansion and were in the middle of things they were famous for or not.
Coming home and entering the apartment had been the first thing to do after an uneventful journey home. Sure Luminara Unduli had been pleasant company for Obi-Wan but he longed to see Siri Tachi. And he sensed that Anakin wanted to see someone else after being with Barriss Offee during the mission.

Obi-Wan was the first to recognise the smell and heading to the kitchen and the fridge he discovered nerf-strips, a piece of a left over pizza covered in green mould and more of the morsels Anakin called food in a state of decay.

The fridge was ajar and a parade of insects was coming and going to a vent in the crawl-duct. On closer inspection; it was a second generation of insects parading over the slightly green tiles. Husks from insects and eggs were dotting the left-over of the food.

That could all be remedied by cleaning the fridge and kitchen but one of the potted plants ? a heritage from Qui-Gon Jinn and now cherished by Obi-Wan ? had become a home for the insects. Green leaves were dotting the earth in the pot.

?I should have brought all to the gardener,? Obi-Wan sighed.

?It?s salvageable,? Anakin was about to touch a leaf and stopped when his master scooped up the plant.

?I know and that?s a relief,? Obi-Wan got a smile on his face ?kitchen and fridge-cleaning for you and plant care for me? and he hurried away with the large potted plant.

- - -

And bumped almost into a well known master.

?Veggies Kenobi??

?Plant care Siri,? Obi-Wan smiled ?you know with Anakin and his eating habit??

?The fridge will be messy,? Siri completed. ?And I like to see this poor veggie treated by an expert. Come Kenobi.?

- - -

The potted plant was under the care of Master Ekiway but Siri and Obi-Wan had stayed in the garden. Siri had asked where the slightly musky odour clinging to his robe was coming from and Obi-Wan had answered that he had been riding a suubatar and he had told her more about the mission on the green plains of Ansion.

?And now you want to know what I have been doing in your absence,? Siri said with a serious voice.

?Sure,? Obi-Wan started.

?But first this,? Siri ? voice turning full of mischief ? began to laugh when she pushed him in the soft green grass and began to tickle him.

Beep pi, beep pi

?Saved by the beep,? Obi-Wan rolled away from her tickling hands and took out his comlink, listened to the message and ran away ?I have a senator to protect.?

?A senator??

?From Naboo,? Obi-Wan disappeared through the entrance.

?Girl trouble,? Siri grumped ?and I have a bad feeling about this.?

 

Firesnake
Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
Timeframe: few months before ESB
Characters: Han Solo, Chewbacca, OC Sawlina Chorris
Genre: rewrite
Summary: Han Solo has a snake encounter.
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by G.L.

Firesnake

?Snakes, why does it have to be snakes??
Fruits were flying and rolling every which way.

Han Solo had dropped the box with edible fruits he had been carrying back towards the Millennium Falcon when he saw black shapes rearing up in the green wilderness.

Fruit collecting had begun after a landing. On his way to Hoth he had ? after one of the random jumps to evade imperials and bounty hunters ? stumbled on the pristine green world.

Chewbacca had landed the Falcon ? after scouting for signs that the planet was occupied ? on a clear patch in the wilderness telling Han that he had to repair one of the stabilizers. And a satisfied grump from the Wookiee that the planet might reveal something more edible than the canned rations and mouldy packages in the holds of the Falcon had Han on a fruit hunt.

?Sssoo ssorry shh.? One of the snakes came slithering towards Han wriggling with nine pair of hands.

?Sorry?? Han eyed the snake that measured ten metres of dull glistening black skin with what had been once iridescent scales and fangs dripping with saliva. The other snakes were popping their heads through the foliage. Hands ? also nine pair ? were carrying baskets and other hands were putting fruits in those with other hands reaching for the fruits or using pruning shears.

?I didn?t mean to startle you young man.? The snake extended one of her hands. ?Sawlina Chorris.?

?Han Solo.? Han ? sensing no evil intent or hostility ? gripped the surprisingly warm hand and shook it ? after feeling the fragile bones - gently.

?Let me help you with your fruits,? Sawlina offered and floated the fruits back in the box.

?Hey,? Han began but stopped when he saw something he had seen before. A cylinder was attached to a belt dangling just under the head of the snake. ?You are a Force user? You are a Jedi??

?Yes I am and I have been raised in the Jeditemple,? Sawlina gave Han a toothy smile. ?You are friends with Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. We have followed your exploits young friend on the old holoviewer that had been with me since I was assigned to the Jedi-outpost on Gandonine.?

?We?? Han was baffled.

?We,? Sawlina grinned ?my friends the Gandonine firesnakes help me with my gardening. I am old you see and have waited for this day.?

Han eyed the snakes busy with the fruit trees.

?We have been guarding and teaching a group of rebels and they need a transport,? Sawlina continued and began to slither with surprising speed towards the clearing where the Millennium Falcon was. The basket was in one pair of hands.

?My fruits,? Han started and followed the snake.

- - -

A large transport was soaring over the clearing where a pyre was blazing surrounded by snakes.
On the pyre was the body of Sawlina Chorris. She had died in her sleep of old age. Her last act ? securing that transport for her group ? had been the meeting with Han Solo and Chewbacca.

FIN

 

Title: Deep Cover
Author: slow_dawn (aka ryan)
Timeframe: ROTS
Characters: various OCs
Genre: write/rewrite challenge entry
Summary: Captain Erik Drayvn gets thrown into the action of Order 66.
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by G.L.
Notes: A big thanks to Luna_Nightshade for her excellent suggestions. Also, this is my first fic in probably three years so if anyone has concrit, I would love to hear it via PM



Captain Erik Drayvn looked out of the Venator-class Star Destroyer Indomitable?s forward viewport, taking in the twinkling lights of Coruscant?s expansive skyline. Though it was a sight he was intimately familiar with, he couldn?t help but marvel at the view of the sprawling city he was afforded from the bridge of his ship.

Standing with his hands clasped at the small of his back, Drayvn watched towering monoliths of transparisteel, durasteel and duracrete whipping by as the Indomitable glided smoothly over the buildings. He allowed his mind to wander as his crew had their current patrol route practically memorized. After a month of running the same route, his skillful crew could manage the ship needing only his occasional input. He was a delegator, and he liked it that way. It gave him plenty of time to work on...other assignments.

?Captain, we are being hailed by fleet control.?

Drayvn glanced down at his communications officer, an ensign, only recently assigned to the Indomitable, and raised an eyebrow. ?It?s urgent,? she added breathlessly.

Amused at her nerves, he gave her a slight smile, hoping to put her at ease. ?Put it through,? he ordered as he thumbed on his comlink.

It pinged. ?Drayvn,? he responded.

?You have new orders, Captain. Cease your current patrol and rendezvous with the Implacable and Indefatigable in Sector 017.?

?Sector 017...the Temple Precinct?? he questioned, brows knitted in an incredulous frown.

?Yes, Captain. You are to provide support as required by the Implacable and Indefatigable.?

?Acknowledged,? he replied.

?Good. Control out.?

He returned the comlink to his pocket. ?Helmsman,? he called out, keeping his voice carefully controlled, ?take us to the Temple Precinct.?

?Yes, sir.?

He sat back in his command seat. Something was wrong; Drayvn could feel it. The Implacable and Indefatigable were Venator-class Star Destroyers--troop carriers in this case--both of which had surreptitiously received elements of the 501st to augment their already formidable complement of clone troopers. In fact, if he hadn?t been keeping tabs on troop movements in the Coruscant system, he might have missed their transfer. The fact that almost an entire battalion of the Republic?s best troops had been quietly recalled from the front line and stationed on Coruscant patrol ships baffled Drayvn.

He wasn?t sure what is was, but something felt amiss. He let his feelings stretch out in a way that he hadn?t in years and could almost feel the tension in the air, the slight unease of his crew. The sky felt electric and pulsed with indistinct energy. Indistinct, but dark, Drayvn concluded, and growing stronger.

?Two minutes till arrival at the position you requested, Captain,? Lieutenant Kale, his Officer-of-the-Deck, said, bringing Drayvn?s thoughts back to the task at hand.

?What?s our situation, Lieutenant??

?The Implacable and Indefatigable have set down outside the Jedi Temple. They appear to be offloading troops.?

?Offloading troops to the Temple? Have they contacted us??

?Yes, sir, just now actually,? the comm officer responded. ?We are requested to provide covering fire to those troops.?

?What!? Are we being ordered to actually fire on the Temple??

?It appears so, sir.?

He cut her off with a wave. ?Patch me through to Commander Zarra aboard the Implacable, now.?

He flicked on his comlink. ?Commander Zarra, what is the meaning of this? You can?t possibly order us to fire on the Temple! What?s next, an assault on the Senate Rotunda??

?Calm yourself, Captain. The order came down directly fr

 

Oh, boy, survivor of Order 66 - any story I really, really want to write can't be done in a week, so instead you get this.



Traitor


I am a traitor.

Not in truth, but so branded ? I am a Jedi, and in this 'glorious new Empire' the Jedi Order has been accused of treason and all Jedi are condemned to death without trial. The ?evidence? of our betrayal is clear and convincing, but only to those unconcerned with truth.

Each and every Jedi has been branded complicit ? even the infants in their cribs and the toddlers clutching toys. The healers whose only concern is to heal, not harm, have been slaughtered over their patients? bodies.

The breathing are condemned; the dead and dying are granted no reprieve. Our bodies are piled like kindling, left to rot under the glare of Coruscant?s sun and the glare of Coruscant?s residents. We are nameless and faceless and forever shamed.

Yet the Force whispers to me that we are not all embraced within its arms. We are not extinct and we will never be extinct.

I have survived for a reason and a purpose known only to the Force. I am not alone. I know this not because the Force has whispered this to me, but because it has not extinguished the stars that shine at night. Darkness has fallen, but the light has not fled. It has been diminished.

Yes, even stars burn out. But new ones are birthed as well.

Whatever befalls the galaxy does not affect the universe. The fall of the Order is not the fall of the Force. Its light is forever.

I am a traitor.

I am a survivor.

I am a servant of the Force ? a Jedi.

 

Great responses, both of you--and slow_dawn, I give a hearty thumbs up to the changes you've made, and thanks for letting me pre-read it! I love how we got both an introspection piece and an action piece... shows how you can get totally different things with the same challenge! Great job to both.

 

The deadline for entries has passed and it is now time to vote.

The participants:

earlybird-obi-wan
slow_dawn
Valiary_Scot


Please PM me your vote by midnight board time, Friday October 7. The winner will be announced Saturday the 8th.

Good luck!