Before - Legends Often Grows the Wolf (AU vignettes, Sidious, Qui-Gon, Dooku, Yoda) (updated 7/14: Wall of Thorns)

Much belated feedback for you.

Metastasis

Well, this is an alarming title. The fic itself is touching in some ways and uneasy in others, full of complications and tension told very sparingly and an unnerving backstory sketched in a few lines. Oh, and I still crack up at Dooku's "amused noise" in the hallway. I really like the premise. But I've talked about this one before.

The Naming of Beasts

I think I got to this one on its earlier thread too. It's simultaneously hilarious and warning, setting up just how much trouble Qui-Gon has gotten himself into and hints of how he's going to handle it. Although obviously at this point he's better at handling Dooku.

Svefnmal

Qui-Gon waking up to being stared at by his dubiously-ex-Sith Padawan is exceptionally creepy in combination with the memory of Palpatine discussing Plagueis's demise.

Gnawdoubt

I adore the ending to this one. I also really like the description of Qui-Gon's search techniques -- smell and touch. I'm left wondering a little about how much Dooku values silence and peace, and yet expects his mind to "play games" alone.

Ambatt

...SHMI! I no longer remember when I first figured out who she was, when I was reading it the first time -- though I probably had a bit of an advantage since you had mentioned before that you thought Shmi would have made a good Jedi. You treat her situation a little like Sidious's, I think, describing the harshness through telling details but not too many of them. Hers gets a bit more because it's present during the story and because, unlike Sidious I think, she remembers something better.

The mental origami bit is fascinating. I was about to say "to disguise himself," then stopped and wondered which one I meant to be the disguise, considering Qui-Gon was the one more likely to be looking at his mind and presence! I tend to think he really shows Qui-Gon's influence here; for some odd reason, engaging in shenanigans to retrieve a slave while those less directly involved tear their hair out just seems like a familiar style.

"Oh, you'll fit right in" cracks me up.

I somehow suspect that Qui-Gon is going to be further irritated by Dooku's response to all this, as I think your Dooku would enjoy the little game Ulic is trying to hand him. It does come off as presumptuous, except presumably Ulic is aware Dooku does that sort of thing for fun.

By Fate Mastered

Why can I see Qui-Gon poring somewhat anxiously over nutritional and genetic profiles? I don't know, perhaps he's not that worried about the height, but it's an amusing thought.

I'm afraid to ask what Ulic has been doing with his training saber, although Qui-Gon doesn't really seem THAT worried.

Wow, I love the imagery on Ilum, especially when the air had thawed dangerously, and the cliffs had turned into many sunfed rivulets, rushing down in a thin, freezing-cold waterfall ten kilometers across or more. Ulic's unconcern here is interesting, especially in light of addressing his fears later on Korriban. I like the "Are you real?" question; even with the minimal worry, it raises interesting questions about what he saw.

Suddenly I really want to see a fic from you about Dooku on Ilum....

---

Aah, I should sleep. I do certainly mean to get to "Traitor's Gate" and "Last Homecoming" at some point, and I have really enjoyed the discussions and elaboration afterward.

 

Wow! I've really fallen behind on this story. What a shame.

As I've already said, I think the execution of this story matches its originality.

I like the work-in-progress nature of this thread. I can't think of any criticsm yet but I'll be willing to PM you if I find any.

 

Dooku doesn't like people very much?

Ulic is good at pretending to be different people. Shmi's perception is fairly accurate - neither are entirely true. The Ulic where everything was "unfolded" would be a strange beast indeed.

Dooku will have fun with it, sure, but that doesn't mean he won't tear Ulic a new one too

The Force, perhaps, knows what's coming better than Ulic does...

 

Wall of Thorns has been posted on the first page. It is set a year after Gnawdoubt and four years before Ambatt.

 

Yay! -- Definitely one of the snippets, more shedding light on the situation than having anything happen. And an interesting light it is. And an interesting response at the end -- I'm left unsure whether that's actually another denial or not.

I really like the bit about the Force shifting around Ulic and the sword, and extending his awareness (but not quite understanding what he's doing) so he's startled when it's touched.

 

Wall of Thorns: Ooooooh, what a couple of cool characters.


Ulic gave him a penetrating look. "I still think you hate me."

"It's not personal," Dooku said.


That says much for these two. It's not personal for Dooku. He's all business. And Ulic is disturbingly perceptive. Not quite bad really, but intriguingly on the fence. Hmmmmmm, I wonder how these characters will look with the other middle parts of the arc are filled in?

 

Traitor's Gate

I keep meaning to respond and then thinking it's such a daunting task to say enough. This is a very dense story and deserves more than I probably will say.

I think the first thing I'll quote isn't even from the fic:

This... is one of the things I like best. I don't share with you all particulars of interpretation in the SW universe--and sometimes, of course, that's part of what makes your stories so interesting to read, sometimes, that they come in at angles that simply wouldn't have occured to me--but there are also points like this that help make me more willing to swallow your alternatives, that mean I'm willing to read stuff from you that I probably wouldn't try from someone else. (Another contribution, of course, is that your stories are just that good.) When I run across someone who looks at Luke throwing down his lightsaber and can only see it as dumb, or who seems to think that because the Jedi are flawed then the Sith must necessarily be superior, I think I tend to be less willing to follow along whatever other ideas they're spinning with the tale, because I feel they don't get Star Wars--or at least they don't get it in a way that makes me want to play with them. *g*

I snorted at "This was not an example I particularly wanted to emulate." While Sidious's focus on the events of Qel-Droma's life is perhaps a bit selective, I have to admit that I doubt many Jedi would really care to emulate him too closely.

die they will screaming

Brr.

You write an excellent Yoda. That's one of the things that really strikes me about this. You have his ruthlessness, his crypticism, the way he teaches with both direct statements and making people figure it out. His patience and impatience, the way he doesn't mind driving his students up the proverbial freaking wall.

And then Sidious realized it was himself, the strength in his own mind, the part that would never submit.

The heart without fear.

This is how he thinks of the part of himself that tells him he is Sith, after he tells Bane he is a Jedi. Interesting insight. I think perhaps it changes a bit later on.

Few things were serious with good medical treatment, but after a few days even wounds commonly perceived as trivial could cost a limb or a life.

Oh, I like that detail a lot. The scope and the limits of GFFA medical care in one neat practical sentence.

I really like the conversation between Sidious and Yoda. I like how you show, without quite saying most of it, Sidious's baffled distrust and resentment but also that he's worried about Yoda and feels safer with him himself and capable. And armed. Even if, then, he still chooses not to heal him. And Yoda would have stopped him if he had, wouldn't he, because of what it would make of them both?

?Master Yoda?? Sidious sputtered??You can?t die!?

If any one line summed up how AU this is....

?This,? Yoda said, ?is how we win.?

It is hard, very hard, to see that as a victory. Harder than with Luke throwing aside his lightsaber, I think. Perhaps because Yoda does die, whereas Vader stepped in, but then it is also true that then and there, Luke's throwing away his weapon was a victory that did not depend on Vader's choice, even though it opened the way for it. Except that we wouldn't have seen what happened if Luke served Sidious, to compare.

Last Homecoming

This hurts. In some ways it hurts more than Yoda's death to see Qui-Gon give up on Ulic that way.

And then, that only makes it more thought-provoking when they both get promoted. If not without a bit more testing.

I have to confess, I still hope Xanatos turns out better in this timeline, but I don't really know what to predict. Ulic's choosing a padawan d

 

I think Yoda managed to accomplish more by dying then and there than he ever did waiting on Dagobah

As for Qui-Gon...give him 50 years, maybe? Ulic's never going to be exactly the sort of Jedi Qui-Gon wanted him to be, of course. He's not Obi-Wan.

 

Heh.

...So, any chance of some of those middle episodes?

 

Aaaaahhhh, this is a delightfully subtle AU. So much is said by and about the characters with so few words......


Ulic gave him a penetrating look. "I still think you hate me."

"It's not personal," Dooku said.


.....very nice. And very Dooku. But there are still a few blank posts that I hope will be filled in.

 

Hmmmmmmm, I still see some empty slots here......

BUMP.