OK HERE WE GO! THE STORY BEGINS...

Discussion in 'Winston-Salem, NC' started by STARDOG-D-JEDI, Nov 1, 2003.

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  1. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    a long time ago
    in a galaxy far, far, away

    STAR WARS
    EPISODE 2 AND ONE HALF
    THE RISE OF THE SITH or THE KESSEL RUN

    IT IS THE TIME OF WAR. SEPARITIST FORCES
    ARE BEGINING TO TAKE OVER THE PLANET
    KESSEL AS THE TRADE FEDERATION PREPARES
    TO RAID THE SPICE MINES OF THEIR RESOURCES.

    GENERAL BAIL ORGANA HAS LEARNED FROM
    BOTHAN SPIES THAT THE FEDERATION TENDS
    TO USE THE VALUABLE SPICE OF KESSEL TO
    FUND THEIR DROID ARMIES TO OVER THROW
    THE REPUBIC.

    ORGANA HAS INFORMED THE JEDI COUNCIL
    OF THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PLANET KESSEL
    TO THE WAR EFFORT. THE COUNCIL APPOINTS
    TWO JEDI KNIGHTS TO ENAGE THE FEDERATION
    AND SECURE THE RESOUCRES OF THE PLANET
    IN HOPES TO END THE WAR. THROUGHOUT
    THE GALAXY?

    OPEN SPACE????

    The Blockade-runner Ventrex-3 is suspended by a tractor beam leading to the hanger bay of the Main federation ship in orbit above the planet Kessel. Laser blast fires from the blockade runner in an attempt to break the tractor beam. Clone star fighters engage federation fighters, as the battle appears to be slowly lost to the separatists.

    ?I?ve got a bad feeling about this master, I don?t know how where going to get out of this one.? Anakin says as he locks down final code for a distress signal to Coruscant.

    ?Patience, The force will guide us my young padawan.? Obi-Wan says as he watches the hanger bay closing in around the Ventrex-3.

    ?I hate it when you call me that. You might as well call me Annie and really get me going.? Anakin mumbles as another clone star fighter is evaporated from space.

    Obi-Wan replies coldly, ?I apologize Anakin. It is not my intention to get you upset. It is only the title that was given to you by the Jedi council. A title you should be proud of.?

    Anakin shrugs, ?Your right master and I am proud of it but the young part is a little too much.?

    Obi-Wan smiles, ?Fair enough my padawan, fair enough.?

    The ship sits down on the docking bay with the sound of steel against steel.

    On the bridge of the federation star ship the nemodian Lott Dodd is watching the main viewing screen where a battalion of droids surrounds the republic blockade runner.

    ?Commander take the jedi captive they may prove of some worth as hostages.? The nemodian says into his comlink.

    ?Roger, Roger? replies the droid.

    ?Captain take three officers and arrest the passengers. Take the Jedi alive.? Chimes the commander.

    ?Roger, roger.? replies the droid.

    As the ramp to the Ventrex- 3 is forced open by two Super battle droids using a security spike. The Four droids are deployed into the ship to obtain the crew. They enter the main corridor and two droids stop at the top of the ramp to guard the exit. The corridor leads around a corner but at the other end a door is closed.

    ?Patrol the corridor.? The captain chimes to his officer as he starts to the closed door.?

    ?Roger, roger.? Replies the droid as he makes his way around the corridor.

    The droid captain reaches the door and it slides open with a soft hiss. Then closes behind him. His blaster is immediately ripped from his grasp and flies across the room into Obi-Wan's right hand. The Jedi in turn raises his left hand suspending the droid in mid air and crushes it?s main processor with the force. He quietly sets the droid aside and catches his breath.

    ?Wheeew that was too close.? Obi-Wan sighs.

    The other droid patrolling the corridor blaster at the ready notices a hum. It looks down the dark corridor puzzled at a light as Anakins light saber flies through the air and takes the droids head from its body. The head smacking the wall Pow! The light saber stops in mid-air and then like a boomerang it returns to Anakin?s grasp. Anakin smiles contently as the body of the droid falls to the ground with a loud CRASH! His smile quickly fades.

    ?Blast it. I told him to be quiet.? Obi-Wan says reaching for his light saber.

    ?UH! OH!? both droids at the ramp chime in at the same time. ? We need reinforcements.?

    ?Battalion attack!? the Commanding droid orders.

    198 droids storm the ramp of the ship as Anakin
  2. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Bumping this back up to the top

    Anybody?
  3. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    that was really cool to busy today to add anything but, i'll get around to it i promise. [face_devil]
  4. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    THE SAGA CONTINUES

    DEEP SPACE-

    Many ships remain scattered throughout the mandalore system. A dead system of the long ago mandalorian wars. Like an asteroid field the remains of war float through space colliding with one another. There is a load boom as the sound wave is rippled through space and the Jedi recon freighter Freedom Wing escapes from hyperspace on a collision course with a Mon Calamari medic vessel that was marooned long ago.

    ?Pull up!? Eeth Koth exclaims to Jedi master Even Piell.

    The Jedi pulls back hard on the controls of the freedom wing but is too late as the engines repluser lift clips the exposed structure of the medical frigate. Crash! The alarm sounds through out the ship. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

    ?We?ve got a fire near the hyper drive.? Piell says scanning the damage report.

    ?So much for the routine recon.? Koth says and removes the fire diffuser from the supply closet. He rushes through the ship to the hyper drive and begins to diffuse the flames.

    ?How bad is it?? Piells voice calls out over the comlink.

    ?Not as bad as I expected the motivator is damaged but I can repair it. I just need some time. But, the transmitter is gone. It was damaged in the fire.? Koth says wiping the sweat from his forehead.

    ?So there is no way to contact the fleet and let them know where we are.? Piell replies.

    ?No. We must find a place to land so we can cut the power and begin repairs. We need to complete are scan of the system and meet back with the fleet before they make the jump to Kessel.

    ?Alright. I?m going to try and get us closer to the planet and dock on one of those old disabled war ships within orbit. At least then we will be stable and not floating around like the rest of the garbage.? Even replies.

    ?Sounds good.? Koth says into his comlink and accesses the rest of the damage to the freighter.

    The Freedom Wing accelerates through the graveyard of ships swinging and dodging the wreckage in its way. Avoiding the tombs of soldiers lost long ago. Piell spots a Mandalore warship in orbit above the planet. He brings the freighter closer to the ship. Half of the old great ships hull is exposed the steel twisted from war. The Freedom Wing flies into the super structure of the ship and attaches itself to the remains. Clunk!

    ?Landing claw is secure and stable. I?m shutting down all power except the emergency back up.? Piell says into his comlink.

    The ship is suspended upside down in the interior hull of the warship.

    ?Ok lets try to make this quick. We haven?t much time, I sense a disturbance in the
    Force.? Koth Says.

    ?I feel it as well master Koth. Fearful, dark.? Piell tells him as he walks up to his side.


    FADES TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP AND THEN TO THE OTHER SIDE
    OF THE PLANET-

    On the bridge of the Victory class star destroyer chimera a cloaked figure stands at the port viewing screen. Gazing into space. Feeling the presence of the Jedi. Feeling they are close. Several droids are working around the dark figure hastily completing their tasks of the ships construction. A transmission comes to the forward bridge. The visage of Darth Sidious comes into focus as a life size hologram.

    ?What is it? lady Ventress.? The dark lord asks.

    The cold whisper of the figures voice penetrates the air like ice. ?The Jedi are here my lord. I since there are only two of them. They must be spies sent by the republic.?

    ?They must not learn of our plans.? Sidious replies quickly.

    ?No my lord, they must not.? She whispers.

    ?Destroy the Jedi. Do not leave a trace of their existence.? Sidious hisses.

    ?Yes my master, with pleasure.? Asajj replies as the vision of Sidious dissolves from her sight.

    ?Commander.? Ventress speaks

    ?Roger, roger.? The droid answers echoing through the bridge intercom.

    ?Prepare my infiltrator for launch.? She orders turning to leave the bridge her cloak flowing out behind her.

    FADES TO THE JEDI FREIGHTER-


    The Freedom Wing seems dark as the two Jedi hurry to complete their repairs. The planet slowly moves in orbit below th
  5. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    F$@kin' awesome dude. Man you are good at this. I'm sure what ever I can come up with is not gonna be this good.

    Ventress is my favorite new character. I really wish Anakin wasn't going to be killing her so soon. I wish she could have made it into the next movie.
  6. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks man!

    I think Ventress is too cool. That's why I decided to use her in the story. I thought she deserved more time in the galaxy than just on cartoon network.

    I really liked the idea that she talks trash while she fights. Like Vader. I always loved it when Vader just kept pushing Lukes buttons.

    Any way I'm very glad you dig it. Your comments were F%*$ing out of sight!!!
    Once again THANKS!
  7. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Would anyone like me to post anymore?

    Once again your feedback makes all the difference in my writing. Catching the block!!!! The story is there but the mind will not let it ride.

    Just post if you would like to read more.
  8. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Ok I have changed and added a few things to what you guys have read previously. 1. Obi-Wan and Anakin are not heading for the bridge of the federation ship. They are heading for the tractor beam to disable it. 2. As Anakin walks back to Obi-Wan in the hanger Obi-wan will obtain a data pad off of the commanding droid that was killed from the blaster deflection in the hallway of the Ventrex-3. That's it! Now enjoy!

    The saga continues...

    COURACANT-

    Fire and smoke brim to the surface of the old warehouse district were Darth Sidious sits in his meditation chamber. The dark lord is jolted from a pull in the dark side of the force from across the galaxy.

    ?HE, HE, HE, HE? he cackles, his eyes glowing bright green.

    ?I take it you have good news my lord?? Count Dooku asks walking into the musty room where his master meditates.

    ?This puppet you have found for us Lord Tyranus, has proved most useful. She is indeed powerful.? Sidious speaks.

    ?Yes, my master. Very Powerful.? Dooku answers

    ?Pity? Pity she will not live long enough to know her true potential. Her anger is pure and fuels the dark side with her vengeance. But she is insignificant next to our greatest ally.? Sidious says gazing at Dooku.

    ?My lord, are you so sure that he can be turned?? Dooku asks.

    ?It is unavoidable. I have foreseen these events. Everything, including what you must do Lord Tyranus.? Darth Sidious leans forward to Dooku. ?You do understand the sacrifice that must be made??

    ?Yes my lord.? He answers never taking his eyes from his master.

    ?Good Lord Tyranus. Now you must turn your sights to the planet of Naboo. You know all too well what must be done.? Sidious grins

    ?I will take care of this matter Lord Sidious.? Dooku says turning to leave the room.

    ?Lord Tyranus, what are the results with your new apprentice?? Sidious asks.

    ?It is going well the growth acceleration has had no side effects.? Dooku answers.

    ?Good, Lord Tyranus. Good.? Sidious says leaning back into his chair.

    Dooku leaves the dilapidated warehouse and boards his solar sailor for the far reaches of the galaxy.

    Sidious closes his eyes for a moment taking in the events that will transpire then taps a button on his chair. A hologram about twelve inches in height appears on his arm rest.

    ?The Jedi have been eradicated my master.? Asajj Ventress reports.

    ?You have done well Lady Ventress. I have felt your anger across the galaxy. Now you must journey to the planet Kessel and aid the federation in their invasion.?

    ?Yes my master.? Ventress answers as her hologram disappears from sight.

    FADE OUT-

    INSIDE THE MAIN FEDERATION SHIP OVER KESSEL-

    Obi-Wan, Anakin and the clone squadron make their way to the tractor beam control room through heavy resistance. They find themselves within the labyrinth of the Federation ship surrounded at all sides.

    ?Anakin watch out!? Obi-Wan says blocking another blaster shot into the chest of a battle droid behind Anakin.

    ?Thanks Master.? Anakin replies. ?Are you sure the tractor beam control is this way?? Anakin asks.

    Obi-Wan pulls the commanding droids data pad from his belt and keys in the pad for a location. ?Here. It appears to be just around this hallway.? Obi-Wan answers.

    They reach the end of the hall to a dead end. Obi-Wan looks back at the data pad confused.

    ?It?s supposed to be right here.? He exclaims.

    ?May I, Master?? Anakin asks taking the pad from Obi-Wan. He keys in several commands and then looks at the pad puzzled and laughs.

    ?What in the blazes could you find so amusing at a time like this my YOUNG! Padawan?? Obi-Wan says a look of disgust upon his face.

    ?This.? Anakin says turning the data pad upside down. ?You?ve been following this thing upside down. The control room is beneath us Master.?

    Obi-Wan takes the pad back from Anakin and looks at it puzzled first upside down and then right side up. ?Blast! You?re right. We?re right over top of it. We need to make our way back around to catch turbo lift 4 then proceed.? Obi-Wan is interrupted by Anakin.

    ?
  9. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    MORE VENTRESS,MORE VENTRESS, MORE VENTRESS !!!

    Man that is awesome. [face_devil]
  10. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks man! I realy appreciate the feedback. Ventress will not be back for a while but have patience. As Obi-Wan would say. Anybody want to read anymore? I'm going to make one final post on the story for you guys if you would like. Then I'm going to hold off and try to get this Clone War really going. Consider this a hugh trailer. Just for THE SECRET SITH SOCIETY! Once Again please reply if you would like to read more.
  11. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    MORE, MORE, MORE...........
    STARDOG, STARDOG, STARDOG.......


    stomps feet and yells his lungs out. another dose of your story please.
  12. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    WELL ALL RIGHT!!!!!! I"LL POST IT TONIGHT!!!!!! CAN YOU FEEL THE ANGER!!!!!!! THE SITH SHALL RISE AGAIN!!!!!!!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
  13. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    "Yessss...I feel it swelling in me."

    I'm anxious for my journey to the Dark Side to be complete. [face_devil]
  14. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    THE SAGA CONTINUES

    THE PLANET SULLUST-

    In the bar Smugglers End a woman of exquisite beauty walks through the crowded dance floor making her way to the bar. Aliens of every species are dancing and drinking their cares away. The music is pounding and deafening.

    ?Excuse me.? The lady says to the bartender.

    ?Well, I?ve not seen you in these parts for some time now Aurra.? The bartender says, fixing up an exotic drink that is deep green neon, with the consistence of slime. ?Here you go on the house!? the bartender smiles and passes the drink across the bar but stops. ?Oh? I almost forgot.? He reaches under the bar and opens a case of all kinds of disgusting creatures and pulls a long red centipede placing it into the drink and then hands it to Aurra. ?Bottoms up!? the bartender says with a wink. Aurra knocks the drink back catching the centipede in her teeth smiling back at the bartender and slurps it down fast. SHEEEWWWWWP!.

    ?I don?t know how you do that.? The bartender says with a disgusted look on his face and busts out laughing.

    ?Cut the chit chat Hatcher. I?m here to meet someone. You seen him around.? Aurra says picking her teeth with a tooth pick pulling one of the centipedes legs from her grin.

    ?Yeah, He arrived about an hour ago been sitting in that back corner ever since. This doesn?t appear to be his type of place.? Hatcher chuckles.

    ?Thanks Hatch.? Aurra says with a blink and a kiss to the air.

    Hatcher watches Aurra as she walks to the back corner of the bar her pale white skin contrasting her skin tight red jump suit. ?What a woman.?

    ?You?re Tyranus, right.? Aurra says playfully.

    ?Your late, Miss Sing.? Dooku replies coldly.

    ?Well you must be Tyranus then.? She says taking at seat at the table.

    ?So why did you call me all the way to Sullust for this meeting.? She says looking at Dooku.

    ?What I need from you miss Sing is your complete discretion and attention. I?m going to make you an offer that I?m sure no bounty hunter could refuse.? Dooku smiles.

    ?Go on.? Aurra says concentrating on Dooku.

    ?There is a senator from the republic that needs your special attention.? Dooku says.

    ?Wait. Republic? I don?t fight nobodies wars Tyranus.? Aurra says starting to get up.

    ?Not even for 100,000 credits miss Sing?? Dooku asks.

    Aurra stops and sits back down. ?Alright, you?ve got my attention.

    ?Bring me the head of senator Amidala of Naboo. If you do this within ten hours I will double your bounty.? Dooku says calmly.

    Aurra eyes light up. ?How do I know you?ll pay me for the job?? she asks as Dooku lays 100,000 credits on the table.

    ?Payment in full now miss Sing and another 100,000 when I receive her head.? Dooku smiles.

    Aurra slides the credits off the table and stuffs them into her shirt. ?I like your style Tyranus. It?s been a pleasure doing business with you.? Aurra replies getting up from the table as Dooku grabs her arm and brings her face to face with him self using the force
    his hands resting on the table. Aurra looks at him with hatred in her eyes.

    ?Just remember Miss Sing if you do not do this for me within ten hours. It is your head, not the senators that I shall collect.? He smiles

    ?Fair enough, fair enough. You want to let go of me now tough guy.? She asks and Dooku releases her.

    ?How will I be able to contact you after the job is done?? She asks rubbing her arm and then drawing both her pistols from her side holsters pointing them point blank at Dooku's face.

    ?And if you ever touch me again old man. I?ll collect your head. You forget I was once a student of the Jedi. I have no fear of the force.? She says quietly between her gritted teeth.

    Dooku smiles. ?Yes I believe we both have a mutual understanding of one another. I will contact you miss Sing. I will know when the job has been completed. Now, I leave you to your task. Good day.? Dooku says getting up and walking out of the bar.

    Aurra smiles holstering her blasters ?Good day? My lucky day.?

    Aurra steps out of the crowded club to the outer streets of the great cave
  15. spooky-kid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2003
    star 5
    man-you are really talented with this writing thing. Awesome....I love it. It's was wierd seeing Anakin show compassion for that clone.....well I guess not....he became kind of attached to an arc trooper in the comics. Anyways-good story Stardog
  16. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks once again Spooky Kid. May the darkside be with you...always.
  17. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    LOVED IT! Now finish it.

    Seriously, except for some grammatical errors, I found my self getting all caught up in the story, which is something I don't normally do with Fan-Fic.

    I love the space lightsaber fight, very unique! you also seem to have a good handle on the characters...meaning you're not writing them out of character.

    I am a big fan of Aurra Sing, so I'm glad you're using her! Keep it up, I'm waiting for the next one!
  18. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Yeah my grammer sucks. I'm going to do some big time work on that when the story is finished. I've posted more parts to the story on the saga boad. Please follow the link in my signature. Your comments were too cool. Thanks alot!!!!!! When you get a chance to check out the rest please leave a comment on the saga board as well. I'm going to finish this. No doubt. But It's a very time consuming process. Once again THANKS!!!!!
  19. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Feel free to repost my comments on the saga board if you want. I'll finish your story after the Holidays, when I have some time to focus on it (the fam is in town, things are crazy!)

    Anyway, your grammer doesn't suck, you just made some common mistakes that are easy to miss, such as writing "your" when you should have written "you're." Little things like that, that most people probably would never catch. I only do because I got my BA in History Teaching, and I had to write tons of 10 - 30 page papers, so my eye for errors like that is pretty sharp (that only counts for actual written stories and things. I don't notice it in short posts like these)
  20. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks vader!! re-posted today!!!
  21. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Ummm, am I dumb? I can't seem to find the new post....
  22. STARDOG-D-JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2002
    star 4
    No you are not dumb. The new post is at the fan fiction saga board. The link to it is in my signature.
    Hope you dig it.
  23. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
  24. DARTH_ANUBUS Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Your story is becoming quite addictive and I look forward to reading more of it as you post.
  25. LadyDomina Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Stardog! I am your number one fan! XOXO!!!!
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