Beyond - Legends Old Skool with the Skywalker/Solos (S/S round robin! Come on in!)

Good job, you two.

 

So I didn't kill the thread?

Good.

I'm glad yall liked it!!! I can't wait to write my "Styrofoam" post.

BTW, Seb, was that Phoenix girl moi?

 

Styrofoam???

 

Styrofoam? Oh, God, God help us all. And how many "sillé" little Phoenix girls do you know, m'dear?

 

jedishellyskywalker, yes, styrofoam.

Seb, well...I was hoping that there was another Clique-er in Phoenix so...um...yeah...but it's good this way too! You put me in a story! Wow! *feels special* Danke.

 

Uppage!

 

lol! Sorry I got behind...love the Jack Sparrow parts... :-D Oh, and the mention of Utah, I was just so proud

 

*wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes*

Wow... I never realized just how many of these were written...

This is great, all of you!

 

Hey all.
***************************

"Mr. Snuggles loves the mall!"

"Would you shut the hell up, Tsavong?" Vua snapped, bringing a scarred, festering fist down on the food court table.

"HAIL YUN-YAHOO!" Shedao cried as he spotted Kady approaching with a tray of their meals. "FOOOOOOOOD!"

"Who wanted the calamari?" Kady asked, holding up a basket of fried squid.

"Me and Mr. Snuggles! We love--"

"Yes, there you go. And... uh... snails..."

"Escargot," Shimrra said snootily. "Those would be mine."

"Weird."

Shedao promptly reached up and took his cheeseburger out of Kady's grasp, took the salad and handed it to Seef, then gave the chow mein to Nom Anor, leaving a spicy chicken sandwich and a vegan wrap.

"You sure you want to eat that, dude?" Kady asked Vua as she sat down and gave him the chicken sandwich.

Vua raised a brow. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason... you might just want to have a lot of water handy, that's all..."

Vua shrugged and took a bite.

"Mr. Snuggles thinks snails are gross."

"That would be Mr. Snuggles's loss, wouldn't it."

"Not if Mr. Snuggles thinks snails are gross!"

Shimrra sighed.

"You know what I find funny?" Shedao asked, spitting bits of his food everywhere as he spoke.

"What do you find funny, Shedao?" Seef growled, wiping crumbs from her tattooed arm.

"Happy Bunny! 'You suck and that's sad!' Ha ha ha!"

Seef promptly reached over and smacked him across the head.

"So where are we off to next?" Shimrra asked, doing his best not to laugh.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"What?!" Shimrra exclaimed.

Vua leapt up from his chair, fanning his tongue with his hand, desperately groping across the table for a drink. Finding none, he yelled again: "AIYEEEEEEEE!"

"Vua?..." Nom asked.

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!" The Yuuzhan Vong warrior ran off and promptly dived into the wishing well.

"Well," Kady said after a moment, "I did warn him."

"Oooo, can we toss a penny in, Supreme Overlord?" Shedao asked eagerly. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Mr. Snuggles loves wishing wells!"

Shimrra buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sauron hummed as he turned the page of People Magazine, enjoying himself immensely. Ben and J.Lo to be married! How pleasant! Perhaps he would be invited to the wedding, provided he gave them the right... motivation. An emailed threat would do nicely.

There came a knock -- or rather, a banging -- at the door, and he rose from his chair, muttering. "Damn kids, selling their drugs..." The sight that greeted him was not pimply adolescents. Rather, it was the Yuuzhan Vong, which he remembered from filming Lord of the Rings and their parts as extra Orcs. "Hello, Shimrra," he greeted skeptically.

"Let us in, dude!" Shedao said, shoving Sauron aside and barging in, the other Vong close behind. "They're after us!"

"Who?" Sauron asked, examining a fingernail.

"Mr. Snuggles hates security guards!"

"Well, you see, we were at the mall, and Vua ate this really spicy sandwich..."

"It was painful."

"Yeah, and he jumped in the wishing well!"

"And we all jumped in after him -- because bodies are worth a lot more wishes than stupid pennies--"

"So the infidel security guard got angry, and started chasing us around--"

"--He was really mad because we went in Victoria's Secret and hid behind a lingerie model cardboard cutout, which he had been dating for the past three months--"

"--Yeah, and we left Victoria's Secret and went in Candy's and hid behind this huge poster of Vin Diesel--"

"--He didn't like that either; he said Vin Diesel was stupid--"

"--GRRRRRRRRRR, Vin Diesel is not stupid, he's sexy--"

"--So we ran into Hot Topic and tried on some wicked awesome t-shirts--"

"--Yeah, Shedao stole a Happy Bunny shirt--"

"--But the guard got mad because he stole the shirt--"

"So we went into Aeropostale, that preppy store, and Nom Anor was trying on the clothes and pretending like h

 

"Mr. Snuggles thinks snails are gross."

"That would be Mr. Snuggles's loss, wouldn't it?"

LOL! I don't know why, but I liked that part the best.

 

Oh dear sweet Yun-Yahoo...

"Mr. Snuggles hates security guards!"

"Well, you see, we were at the mall, and Vua ate this really spicy sandwich..."

"It was painful."

"Yeah, and he jumped in the wishing well!"

"And we all jumped in after him -- because bodies are worth a lot more wishes than stupid pennies--"

"So the infidel security guard got angry, and started chasing us around--"

"--He was really mad because we went in Victoria's Secret and hid behind a lingerie model cardboard cutout, which he had been dating for the past three months--"

LMAO!!!!!! Darth Snuggles loves Yuuzhan Vong posts!

And since I think I missed the previous posts, I must mention this little gem:

?ELBERETH A GLITHONIEL!? it cried. ?FOR THE SHIRE AND GLORY, I SHALL DEFEAT YOU!!?

HAHAHAHAHA! Sache, I love you forever for writing that. I was rolling on the floor for about an hour after reading it.

Hee hee, also loved the cake reference, as well as the disembodied Dude Voice. And Yoda's teaching at Hogwarts!! *dies laughing*

 

I loved all of that Kady! I was laughing so hard. This has to be my fav part though.

Sauron hummed as he turned the page of People Magazine, enjoying himself immensely. Ben and J.Lo to be married! How pleasant!

 

GAK!!! Unbelievable!!!!! Vua and spicy chicken...oh geez...it'll take me all of tomorrow to recover from this one. I guess I'll have to make do with writing about Eowyn's date with Jack Sparrow and the first appearance of the Outcasts.

 

*tries valiantly not to die laughing*

 

*Dies laughing*

"So we went into Aeropostale, that preppy store, and Nom Anor was trying on the clothes and pretending like he was that guy from the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy--"

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kady, this is priceless!!!

 

*giggles wildly* Happy Bunny

 

Anyone got any new ideas?

 

Gettin' there. I'm trying to find time to flesh them out - it's taking a while with the hours I've been working this month.

 

And heeeeeere we go!

**********

"This was really sweet of you, Obi," Sabé said, leaning over to plant a huge, wet, sloppy kiss on Obi-Wan's cheek as they strolled into the Top of the Sixes together. "All ready to break the bank on my account?"

Obi-Wan shot her a sidelong glance, cocking an eyebrow. "You mean I can use your savings account to pay for this?"

Sabé responded with a twap on his shoulder. "You know what I mean," she said crossly. "C'mon, let's eat. I've been at soccer practise all day and I'm positively famished."

"Yeah, I loved you in 'Bend It Like Beckham'," Obi-Wan said with an ear-to-ear grin. "Of course, I love you in just about anything else, as well. Which reminds me, did anybody ever tell you what you look like in a leather jacket, darling? Master Qui-Gon had to take my popcorn away to keep it from spilling all over his lap during that scene."

"Ah, but if he hadn't..."

Obi-Wan's grin turned to one of downright deviance as he performed a sleight-of-hand and came up with a small, gleaming plastic rectangle. "I'd never have gotten a hold of his Coruscant Express Card, now would I?"

Sabé smirked, quietly fingering a nail file in her purse. "I'll have to sharpen that thing up for you," she said as she passed one of her electrifying hands over his cheek. "You need to shave, boy."

"When in Rome," Obi-Wan shrugged. They took a seat across the restaurant from the windows, and Obi-Wan nearly knocked Sabé over as he pushed her chair in under her. Taking his own seat, he sat back and gazed across the candlelit table at Sabé as they awaited the waiter's arrival. (Oh, the irony...)

Seated on the other side of the restaurant, neither of them saw the big grey Humvee, radiating firelight from its tinted windows, pulling up in front of the main door. Eowyn hopped out, happily smelling her Thermasilken hair and leaving a wizardproof face mask on the passenger seat, nicely rounding out her exit by leaving another special, and slightly more, ah...permanent present behind. She glided into the restaurant, not noticing that the Humvee remained still, for the Balrog had set about scrubbing her lipstick off of both his horns.

Jack Sparrow was standing in the lobby, his arms gyrating involuntarily as he turned around and around, taking in the sights. He couldn't believe he was about to impress Eowyn so profoundly by taking her to such a measureless, classy joint as this. In fact, he had become so involved in spinning around that the dizzies were quick to overcome him, and he stumbled clear into Eowyn's arms as she walked into the restaurant.

"Why, hello, m'dearest," Sparrow said. "I didn't think you...um...I were going to make it."

"Keeping busy?" Eowyn said, leaving a lipstick stain on his chin.

"You might say that. Right this way, dearie." Sparrow swept his three-cornered hat off (conveniently forgetting all about the bandanna), bowed and offered Eowyn his arm. She had a hard time keeping it in her grip, since Sparrow was still waving his arms around like an orangutan as he dragged her across the restaurant to their reserved table. However, if Eowyn thought all hell was going to break loose on the way to the table, she couldn't have imagined the magnitude with which it did so.

For Sparrow led her right past Sabé and Obi-Wan.

The happy couple were cheerily leaning across their table and playing footsies while they made eyes at each other and discussed Sabé's latest fantasy role, something to do with swords and stones. Eowyn, personally, had had enough swords and stones at the Hornburg and Pelennor to last her an Elf's lifetime, but Sparrow stopped short nonetheless. He blinked rapidly, gaze transfixed on Sabé, who as yet had taken no notice of them while she protruded her lips in Obi-Wan's direction.

"Elizabeth!" Sparrow exclaimed, weaving over to Sabé. He spread his arms wide, grinning. "I be back, luv!"

"You again, get outta here!" Sabé exclaimed, pushing him away.

"You know this character?" Obi-Wan frowned, nodding at Sparrow.

"Just think Jaina and

 

Faramir cut him off. "We were once lovers," he said dramatically, leaning over the steering wheel, "great lovers of Eowyn. Then Eomer the overprotective gave to each of us one date with his sister, just to show her what a bunch of morons we were. Blinded by our love, we took them without question, one by one descending into fondness. And now we are slaves to her will...We are the Outcasts. Neither happy nor sad. At all times we feel the presence of Eowyn, drawn to the power of the one we all have a crush on. We will never stop stalking her..."

ROTFL!!!!!!!!

I needed that.

 

OMG! That was so funné!

I too loved this part. It bears repeating.


Faramir cut him off. "We were once lovers," he said dramatically, leaning over the steering wheel, "great lovers of Eowyn. Then Eomer the overprotective gave to each of us one date with his sister, just to show her what a bunch of morons we were. Blinded by our love, we took them without question, one by one descending into fondness. And now we are slaves to her will...We are the Outcasts. Neither happy nor sad. At all times we feel the presence of Eowyn, drawn to the power of the one we all have a crush on. We will never stop stalking her..."

 

And I get to write post-date.

Again, I feel moved to apologize if the post is less than humorous.

~~~


Jack Sparrow hopped into the Outcasts? car dejectedly.

?Well, mates. This is bloody good of you, taking me in.? Jack Sparrow sniffed.

Wormtongue fiddled around with the radio station and a jaunty tune came on.

? I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, cause that is what I'd truly like to be-e-e, and if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with me!?

All but one of the Outcasts said under their breath, ?Especially Eowyn.?

All but one. For, Jack Sparrow had neglected to use his last wish. He was now a plump, juicy Oscar Meyer wiener. Was it enough to What-Was-Once-Jack that the true vegan, Wormtongue, threw him on the sidewalk disgusted by his meatosity and then to be picked up by Eowyn herself? Perhaps. Perhaps. The world may never know.

Eowyn herself was tapping her foot impatiently when she saw the hot dog. She picked it up, and wondered at the two spots on the hot dog. It looked suspiciously like eye shadow. She was hungry. Where was the Balrog when she needed him? She need him to roast her hot dog on.

?Great! Juuust great!? she exclaimed. ?I go on a date that turns out to be horrible and now I?m stuck with a RAW hot dog. WHERE IS THAT BALROG??? I?I?m not handling this on my own. I just can?t. It?s not my fault that I?m so beautiful??

She dug through her purse until she found her cell phone and called up the Balrog again. Ring?ring?ring?

?Hello, this is the Balrog and I shall pass whether you like it or not. Remember, fire is your friend. Leave your name and your message at the tone.?

?This is Eowyn. I need to be picked up at the Top of the Sixes,? she simpered, but then, her voice changed. ?Or else I?ll send EOMER after you!?

With a cry of triumph, she hung up and waited for the Balrog. If that didn?t get him over here?well?she didn?t know. But she did know?Eowyn jumped up suddenly. No! It could never be! Could it? Was it possible she had feelings for Bob the Balrog? Eowyn sat down again and wept with horror at what Eomer would do if he found out.

***

The dulcet tones of ?Candy Girl? rang. The Balrog sang along to it before looking to see who it was.

?Honey honey?sugar sugar?you are my candy girl! And you?ve got me wanting you!?

The Balrog flipped the top of his cell and glowered at the name.

Daughter of Kings.

?That woman is flippin? arrogant. Daughter of kings my flame.?

Nevertheless, he turned around and headed for the Top of the Sixes.

?I have no idea why I?m doing this,? he muttered. As he neared the restaurant, he caught sight of Eowyn and her sadness smote his heart. Cursing her in her supreme beauty, he slowed. As Eowyn looked up, her face lit up and she jumped up. He grunted and she went around to the passenger seat. Opening the door, she smiled and said, ?Thanks, Bob. You?re the best.?

"I'm only doing this because of your little blackmail," The Balrog growled.

Eowyn's face fell and she turned away to the window. To appease her, Bob put on some IronMaiden CDs.

Eowyn sniffed.

 

Loved the reference to Oscar Meyer

 

I'm laughing too hard to post coherently.

 

"Forget the rum, why is Elizabeth gone?!"


*Dies laughing* Seb.. Yané... words cannot express how GREAT that was!!!!!!!!!