Beyond - Legends Old Skool with the Skywalker/Solos (S/S round robin! Come on in!)

"We were once lovers," he said dramatically, leaning over the steering wheel, "great lovers of Eowyn. Then Eomer the overprotective gave to each of us one date with his sister, just to show her what a bunch of morons we were. Blinded by our love, we took them without question, one by one descending into fondness. And now we are slaves to her will...We are the Outcasts. Neither happy nor sad. At all times we feel the presence of Eowyn, drawn to the power of the one we all have a crush on. We will never stop stalking her..."


Yeah, okay, I know somebody else already jumped on it, but that has got to be one of the funniest things in the story thus far

 

Okay, I've gone to Darth_Fruitcake's website and I'm reading all these S/S fics and all I have to say is...
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Solo

 

to the top! anybody else have ideas?

 

I've got a few, but I want to wait on them, since they mostly concern the F/M and we want the S/S to have some screen time as well. *wink wink nudge nudge*

 

Lol...is it me or some of the S/S stories have not been continued??

It's just that I was on an S/S frenzy and i went through all of them...lol....

Now all I wanna hear is :

"MY ROSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Hmm.. as soon as I can get some free time (glares at Dante's Inferno), I'll talk to Mel and see about finishing our scene.

 

The Barbie one? If so, good, cos I have a post that will follow that.

 

I'll be around waiting

 

up!

 

*clears off dust*

 

Yessssss, ladies and gents, finally a new post!!!

**********

Loudly humming Mozart's Horn Concerto, Vader burst into the house, dragging his garden hose with him. He had long ago found that humming was an effective relaxant - especially when he had discovered a hole in the hose that was depriving his roses of their proper water quota. He swept down the stairs into the basement, wondering when on Earth - or anywhere else, for that matter - the rest of the family would be home from the park. It could well be a mite sooner than he expected; wherever they were, it seemed likely they could hear him banging, throwing, and tearing half the basement apart trying to find a piece of duct tape for the hole in the hose.

As it was, Padmé, gently bouncing Rose in her arms, had descended upon him in a matter of minutes, and the look on her face silenced his every action - and protest, for that matter.

"And what, pray tell, is the meaning of this, dear?" Padmé demanded hotly.

"Another hole in the garden hose," Vader said.

"Really, Ani, with all the holes you have in that thing now, you might as well go out and get a new one. It'll cost less than all the packaging tape you've been using to patch it up."

Vader paused, rubbing the bottom of his mask. "Or better yet..." he said thoughtfully. "Maybe I could just drop the hose out in front of the garden and let the water flow clear through all these holes. An improvised sprinkler! Of course! My roses would be sooooo happy, wouldn't you, my darlings?" he cooed to the bushel of roses growing from a flowerpot by the window.

"Dear, I've got some bad news..." Padmé said hesitantly.

"What?" Vader straightened up, nearly scaring Rose straight through the ceiling. "Did one of those miserable Rejects trample the soil again? Let me at 'em! Bad enough the backyard is a hardpan, I don't need the soil in the front yard - "

"Jaina's been falsely arrested for drug dealing," Padmé said loudly. Seeing that she had Vader's undivided attention, she plunged on. "Some NYPD detective named Eddie Green called and told me he was booking her for possession and attempted trafficking. I tried to call Han and Leia, but Leia's phone is off and Han's voicemail message is driving me to drink."

"Don't worry, Sweet Angel, I'll take care of this," Vader said, marching past her. "I'm going to New York in a couple of days anyway, I'll get this cleared up. Where's my laptop?"

"Why, are you going to E-mail a threat to the NYPD before you try to reason with them?" Padmé asked with a touch of concern as she followed Vader up the stairs.

"Since when is there any reasoning with New Yorkers?" Vader scoffed. "I'll lay it on the line, right up front. Of course, the lightsaber ought to be a big help..."

**********

Gazing at the blurring sights of Eighth Avenue, Eowyn sighed, resting her head in one hand and holding her hot dog over the Balrog's neck with the other. Just what on Earth had she been thinking for the past few hours? There was Wormtongue, who was simply as shallow as a bathtub; then there was Faramir, who had been so clingy and dependent that she sorely regretted never slapping him upside the head. Haldir, as ever, was constantly an arrogant, paranoid S.O.B., and Glorfindel was just never there. Not to mention Wolverine and the Hulk, who seemed to be little more than Wormtongue's brainless dirty-workers; to say nothing of Daredevil, who had to be just along for the ride - he couldn't even see how smoking she was, after all. And now Sparrow, the two-timing twerp. Eowyn gritted her teeth; she had had more than enough of men, much less Balrogs. She had half a mind to jump out of the Humvee right now, take the subway home, and pour her heart out to Galadriel.

"Are you done yet?" the Balrog asked plaintively, snapping her reverie. "That thing is dripping all over me now."

"Well, let's see," Eowyn muttered, withdrawing the hot dog. She put her lips against it to test its temperature, and lo and behold - she received one jolt to rule them all when she found a

 

Just when I thought this couldn't get any more complicated, Sebby here goes and tosses Law and Order into the mix.

Good thing Eowyn didn't bit into the hot dog. She'd have gotten one nasty surprise.

The "Maul of America" line had tears coming from eyes.


May this fic continue to make us all laught. Great addition, Sebby!


Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

*keels over laughing*


Awesome! I have to write my STYROFOAM POST!! Where is the Barbie post?

 

HILARIOUS!!

 

*dies laughing*

*comes back as a Force ghost*

*is still laughing*

Help me! I can't stop it! The madness! Noooooooooo!

 

Seb, that was pure brilliance. Loved it.

 

LMAO!!

and Glorfindel was just never there. LMAO! Nice pun! (probably the only person who got it.)

 

wow this series just gets better and better. More soon. What ever happened to Anakin, Yoda and legalos? I'd love to see Anakin enrole in that coarse. Actually if no one minds, I'd like to stab at that part?

 

No one else seems to be active, so I dont see why not... go ahead

 

whoa... two weeks of nothing

 

Just gave this the ol' nomination bit: Beyond the Saga - Best Humor.

 

I nominated S/S for Best Humor and Best Collaboration...I hope it was all right I did that since well, I've written three posts...

Anyway...I have a dream...or rather, Vader's going to have one. I was inspired by an incident this week in which I fell asleep in science class...never fear, it was after we took a test.

 

Here's another! I don't think it's very good, but something's better than nothing, right?

---------------------------------------------

Vader woke up to the wonderful smell of roses, fresh coffee, and nice, crispy bacon. He sighed as he stretched, feeling very comfortable and satisfied indeed. As he swung his legs over the side of the bed to put his feet into bunny slippers, he noticed that they had run for cover. He had a sinking feeling. He gulped as he noticed nine shadows in front of him?turning around in utter fear, he laughed.

?Oh, I get it. You?re those blokes from Harry Potter??

Nine hooded heads shook their heads solemnly.

?Those blokes from?uh?Lord of the Rings??

Nine hooded heads nodded their heads solemnly.

?I am the Witch King of Angmar,? the center one said with great sobriety. There was no doubt he hadn?t been out drinking last night. The Witch King then pulled back his hood. ?But me friends call me Warren, or Buddy. Who are you??

?I am Lord Vader,? Vader said imperiously.

One of the Ring Wraiths pulled back his hood ecstatically. ?Really??????

?Um. Yes.?

?Can I have your autograph??

?Sure.?

The Wraith held out a note pad and Vader took the pen he offered.

?And what?s your name??

?John Doe.?

Vader signed it with a loopy signature and gave it back to John.

?I also have a present for you, mister,? said the Wraith eagerly.

Vader grinned. ?I love?? he faltered as John drew forth a very handsome bouquet of roses. His eyes narrowed. ?Where did you get those??

?The garden. Hope you didn?t mind!?

?MY ROSES!!! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!!?

Suddenly, everything blacked out.

?Honey? Vadey sweetie?are you all right?? asked a concerned Padmé.

He woke up with a start, clutching his bed sheets. ?What happened? Where are they? I?m going to get that John Doe!!?

Vader jumped out of bed and dashed to the window, flinging it open and gazing upon the yard. Upon seeing that all roses were undisturbed, he wept with joy.

?Honey, how can you get someone you don?t know??

?It was just a dream?it was just a dream?it was JUST A DREAM!!?

?Of course it was dear,? said Padmé soothingly as she patted him. ?Now, would you like some coffee??

?That would be wonderful.?

Later?????

The door bell rang just as Vader was getting comfortable for ?Saturday Night at the Movies? on ABC. He grumbled and puttered, but finally made it to the door and opened it to find nine hooded figures.

?NO!? he yelled and shut the door. He stood looking at the door guiltily before opening the door again. ?I?m uh?sorry??

?It?s quite all right,? the leader said. ?Could we uh?come in a moment??

?Most certainly,? Vader said graciously and the Nine Ring Wraiths sauntered in.

?I do believe introductions are in order,? the leader said. ?I am the Witch King of Angmar, otherwise known as??

?Warren, or Buddy to your friends,? Vader finished. The Witch King blinked in astonishment. ?Yes, how did you know that??

Vader smirked. ?The Force.?

?Ahh yes, of course,? ?Buddy? said nervously, ?I had heard you had magical powers or something??

?And that one?? Vader said, pointing at one of the Nine, ??is John Doe.?

?Yes! Quite amazing! Not many know him?but, well we love him anyway.?

?I don?t know any of the others?? Vader confessed.

?Ahh, then let me begin!? Buddy cleared his throat. ?You do not know Pain, you do not know Fear, you do not know Joe, you do not know Bob, you do not know Tom, you do not know Dick?you do not know Harry. Harry is quite special, as she is the only female.?

Vader was puzzled. ?I thought Harry was a male name??

?Oh, most assuredly. Harry is just short for something??

?And I won?t tell you what it stands for! So you can just stop asking!? cried the lone female Wraith. ?Or else I?ll gut you with my blue sword??

Vader backed out away hastily. ?That?s quite all right.?

Harry glared at him and he cleared his throat nervously. ?Please, sit down everyone. So why are you here??

?We?ve lost our horses,? Buddy said gloomily, ?

 

?You do not know Pain, you do not know Fear, you do not know Joe, you do not know Bob, you do not know Tom, you do not know Dick?you do not know Harry."

*is already festering, having died laughing a long time ago*

Gaaahhhh...ha...hahaha...this is SOOO S/S natural!!! Vader's dream was typical! Love it love it love it!!

 

Vader woke up to the wonderful smell of roses, fresh coffee, and nice, crispy bacon. He sighed as he stretched, feeling very comfortable and satisfied indeed. As he swung his legs over the side of the bed to put his feet into bunny slippers, he noticed that they had run for cover. He had a sinking feeling.

What other story gives a nod to LotR, Star Wars, and Mulan at within the same paragraph?