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Before - Legends On Broken Wings- OC's Complete! Author replies 6/12!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Nov 19, 2004.

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  1. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Eitan cares so deeply :( + :) I?m glad Majid will be alright. Even with his master?s assurance Eitan?s mini-vision may have been enough to shake his hope. Majid has been a steadying force in his life. :D It was nice for Qui-Gon to show up and help him, that is until Xan showed his vicious face.

    Little Kanoa is growing up with all the pains that can come with it. He is understanding the truth in his Master?s wise words about real friends. [face_plain]
     
  2. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Oh I had copied this because I love this part and I see everyone else has too: (But I'm going to post it anyway because I've already copied it... hehehe)

    Master Majid?s soft, tranquil spirit was the first thing Eitan felt the moment he opened his eyes in the morning, and the last before he shut them at night. Any time Eitan began to experience anger, fear or frustration, his mentor would level him with look that had the ability to make him stop and center himself..

    Wonderful bond between Master Majid and Eitan and he has so much to offer. Wise words about true friends, and I think Eitan is beginning to understand about Xan. So sweet that Qui was comforting him [face_love] and Xan's reaction...very telling.

    Now just who shot Master Majid? [face_thinking] I remember some of what happened to him from your other story ;) But I wonder if even now, events are starting to line up....hmmm... Have you gotten that time off yet to devote your time SOLELY to writing Eitan? [face_batting]
     
  3. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2002
    Eitan is beginning to realize what his master's words meant and that those words can be applied to his and Xan's friendship. I'm glad Eitan is beginning to wise up a bit where Xan is concerned, although being a true friend means he'll know Xan's faults, be aware of them, but still accept him and be there for him when needed -- just sounds like Eitan, he has a good heart.

    I too liked the description of Master Majid being able to remind Eitan to center himself with just a glance. :)
     
  4. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    What a little bastard. Eitan should pound him into the ground. Grr. :D

    I love that you've written Xan partly nasty. You've done such a great job showing his complexity - at one moment being a complete twerp and the next being a sweet kid. Wonderfully done. :)

    Shaindl
     
  5. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    I feel so badly for Eitan here. I think his "friend" is going to cause big problems. Lovely work.
     
  6. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    Brilliant update! I would love to shake young Xan and make him behave. I hope that Eitan does not get hurt any more by his best friend's behavior, but I think that is likely.
     
  7. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Kynstar Cold hearted lad? My Xan? :mad: Yeah this version is decidedly more nasty than mine normally is.

    Diane Dynamic duo? I thought that applied to Xaniwan. :D

    VL You make me blush! [face_blush]

    Noi Eitan I think knows where he stands with Xan. :(

    Altaira Eitan is a deeply feeling person. He feels deeply. :p

    ts I would like nothing more than to get paid to sit at home all day and write fanfiction. [face_love]

    Bekah You've pretty much nailed this relationship. ;)

    Shaindl Xan is a complex person. A deeply complex person. :D

    AnakinsHeir Xan cause problems? NO! [face_laugh] He's just misunderstood you know?

    BrokenNose Do you want to shake older Xan too? Let me know after today's posty. ;)


    Buckle up kiddies! We're about to jet ahead! :D



    Chapter Nine


    Xanatos sat on one of the benches that lined the empty training salle as he awaited his best friend's arrival. Elbows resting on his thighs, he stared unseeingly at the floor, his mind racing with troubled thoughts of what his future held. For thirteen long, hard years, his focus had been on nothing but studying to become a Jedi Knight. He?d pushed himself even harder than his Master had, determined to prove to the Council and anyone else who doubted him that he had every right to be there. That they hadn?t made a huge mistake by allowing him the opportunity to begin his training at such an advanced age.

    Long lashes fell shut as he felt the weight of expectation and the pressure to excel once again press upon his shoulders. At times, he wished for nothing more than to escape, to run away to a place where no one expected anything of him. To be around people who wanted nothing more than to make him happy. People who didn?t look at him as most of the Jedi did, with shadows of doubt and distrust lurking in their eyes.

    The sound of booted heels against the floor broke into his thoughts. Lifting his head, he watched as one of those Jedi strode toward him. Jaw clenching, he felt all of the old resentment float to the surface as his best friend offered him a guarded look. Their years of in-the-field training had kept them apart a great deal of the time since Master Qui-Gon was notorious for staying away from the Temple as much as humanly possible. The handful of times the two friends did manage to be on-planet at the same time were often filled with awkward silences and uncomfortable memories of past hurtful words.

    At twenty-two standard years of age, Xanatos was at a point where he could now admit, if only to himself, that he?d said many things over the years for the sole purpose of wounding his friend. Most of those incidents arose because of the lingering jealousy he felt toward Eitan Delano. A jealousy that stemmed from the affection Xanatos?s own Master felt toward Eitan and seemed only too willing to demonstrate openly. Only toward Delano did Master Qui-Gon allow himself to lower normally carefully-guarded emotions, something Xanatos had never understood and couldn?t forgive.

    "About time you showed up, Delano. I was starting to think you were too scared to show," he greeted his friend, confident smirk firmly back in place.

    Eitan dropped down beside him, dark brown eyes taking a moment to give him a thorough look over. "And to think I had almost convinced myself that I missed that rapier wit of yours. How?s it going, Xan?"

    Shrugging carelessly, Xanatos made certain his thoughts were safely hidden behind impenetrable shields. "Things are going well actually. Master Qui-Gon assures me that once we return from this next mission, he?s going to insist that the Council allow me to take my Trials."

    "That?s great, Xan!"

    Coming from anyone else in the Temple, Xanatos would be suspicious of the seemingly heartfelt words. Eitan may have his faults, but there was no doubt in Xanatos?s mind that he had his friend?s unwavering support and devotion. It didn?t seem to matter what he said, or the things he was sometimes capable of doi
     
  8. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I liked the byplay between the two but Xan should really lighten up and allow his friend to relax around him. I can tell that Xan's off kilter within the Jedi Order and the fact that he's been talking to his father does not bode well.

    Great job with this.
     
  9. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Uh oh... this is it for Xan... he won't be coming back. Poor Eitan and he doesn't know this. :(

    Ahhhh lil Obi! How cute!
     
  10. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Xan is going to Telos with all his doubt and spite for the jedi. He is ready to turn his back on the Jedi. Seeing Eitan?s loyalty as a weakness and his initial contempt means that Eitan is included. :( I liked Eitan understanding there was more than Xan was saying. Their sparring is giving a last good time together.

    [:D] Obitot, he?s so sweet, ;) I feel the viggie coming back. :D
     
  11. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2002
    At times, he wished for nothing more than to escape, to run away to a place where no one expected anything of him. To be around people who wanted nothing more than to make him happy.

    I think Xan's about to get his wish. Although, I think it won't come in the manner he would have wanted.

    I like how Eitan stands by him even though he knows who Xan really is. The sparring match was a great way for them to put behind them, even if for a little while, all the past hurts and the gap between them. Afterall, after Xan leaves, he won't be coming back.

    Poor Obi-Wan. He, Xan, and Eitan have no clue as to what the future holds for the three of them.
     
  12. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Oh, a little giggling Obi - how cute. :)

    I wonder how Eitan is going to take what happens on Telos and if that will strengthen the guilt about not letting Qui he knows Xan is in contact with his father.

    Sounds like Eitan already has bad feelings about the mission.
     
  13. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Obitot! Me [face_love] Obitot!
     
  14. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Eitan was careful to conceal the shock he felt at hearing his best friend speak so callously about his late sibling. The eldest deCrion son had only recently been killed under mysterious circumstances. There were still whispers that hinted at Crion?s involvement in his heir's tragic death.

    :eek: There was another one?! Must see more of him! [face_love] Or did you kill him off because he didn't fit into leather pants?

    I like Majid. Now I see why Eitan was so broken by his death. :(
     
  15. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    It was fun seeing through Xanatos' eyes! I know scary thought :D But he is such a complex character, just like our little Eitan [face_love] Great job with the fight and all the conflicting emotions these two have for each other.

    Watch out little Obi-Wan! Your life is going to change forever :D
     
  16. anekasolo

    anekasolo Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 16, 2001
    eeeeee little obi!

    Why did life have to be so cruel to him!

    "A jealousy that stemmed from the affection Xanatos?s own Master felt toward Eitan and seemed only too willing to demonstrate openly. Only toward Delano did Master Qui-Gon allow himself to lower normally carefully-guarded emotions, something Xanatos had never understood and couldn?t forgive."

    Qui-Gon seems to have that problem with a lot of his padawans. I seem to remember him acting similarly around Bant and Obi-Wan.
     
  17. CodeName_Targeter

    CodeName_Targeter Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2003
    *runs around like mad trying to catch up with everything* Everyone seemed to update while I was away... ah well.

    Anyways, great posts! I think I've mentioned this several times already, but I find Xantos to be mean and rude. Poor Eitan. He needs to kick Xantos's arse. Or something...

    :Targeter:
     
  18. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Could somebody hold Xanatos down while I kick him repeatedly? Pretty please? Great update, but...ARGH!
     
  19. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I got behind! Yikes! Loved this chapter. Xanatos is just...well, smarmy is the word that comes to mind. Ugh! I just want to give him a good swift kick in his Jedi knickers! A great story, but I am really upset with Xan right now! Very, very upset!
     
  20. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Diane That kind of sums Xan up nicely doesn't it? He always seemed off kilter while he was with the Jedi. Poor guy. :(

    Kynstar Eitan finds out today what happened on Telos. :_|

    Altaira Their last moments together always haunt Eitan though. Remember his comments to Obi in Live What You Learn ? I think that scene is why he had such a hard time with what eventually happenn to his friend. [face_plain]

    Bekah In my GFFA, Obi-Wan actually ends up with a happier future than either Xan or Eitan. :_|

    Noi Eitan's guilt will eat away at him for years. :(

    PK Obitot will make several more appearances as we go along. At various ages. ;)

    Jadewan The elder Xanitot wasn't nearly handsome or charming enough. He had to die. [face_devil]

    ts Xan's choice alters all of these men's lives. Qui/Eitan/Majid/Obi

    anekasolo :eek: Wow. I never considered the parallels. Jinn did have trouble expressing himself to his padawans, didn't he?

    Targeter Nice to see you. :) This Xan is as close to JW's version as I plan to get. [face_worried]

    AnakinsHeir Well you can kick Xan all you want. If you can find him. :D

    VL Best enjoy Xan. That may be the last look you get of him here. :p



    Chapter Ten



    Eitan found himself unable to concentrate on the words contained in the ancient tome. The book was a new gift from Master Majid, a reward for the hard work Eitan had put into his studies in light of the fact that he?d also taken to teaching a few flight classes. His Master had been hesitant at first to allow him the chance when Master Tiin had approached them about it several months ago. Eitan?s assurances that he?d be able to manage both had finally swayed the elder Jedi.

    Turning the pages to the front cover, Eitan smiled as he read the inscription there.

    Kanoa, I?m proud of the young man you?ve become and look forward to the day when you will walk by my side as an equal. Master Majid

    The smile slowly faded as his thoughts turned to his beloved mentor. Another of the reasons Eitan had been so eager to accept Master Tiin?s offer was because of his teacher . More and more in recent days, he?d begun to notice a weariness and frailty in Master Majid that hadn?t been there before. Teaching the classes had required them to carry a lighter mission load which increased their time at the Temple two-fold, and gave Master Majid a much needed rest.

    Troubled by the turn his thoughts had taken, Eitan switched his musings toward his best friend. Xanatos and Master Jinn had left for their mission to Telos almost a standard month ago. Eitan hadn?t received any news from his friend or the Council about how the mission was progressing, or when they hoped to return.

    Before their last evening together before Xanatos and his mentor had left, Eitan would have been more worried about the outcome. He?d seen a side to his best friend that he?d feared no longer existed. Xanatos had seemed calmer and more at peace then he had in years. He?d even shown an uncharacteristic softness in his dealings with the young initiate who?d been watching them spar. Young Obi-Wan had seemed comforted by the padawans?s reassurances, allowing them to guide him back to his room and bed. The two friends had exchanged a strong handshake before retiring to their respective rooms.


    "Padawan?"

    Eitan looked up to find Master Majid making his way to the spot where his apprentice sat. Setting the book aside, Eitan offered him a welcoming smile.

    "I was trying to catch up on some reading while I had the chance."

    Master Majid sighed gratefully as he leaned back against the tree trunk. "You haven?t had much time just to sit and enjoy your hobby. Do you have any regrets about taking on these classes?"

    Eitan grew thoughtful as he considered the question. "Not really. I wasn?t sure how I?d like teaching younglings. Luckily I?ve discovered at least one of my students whose passion for flying rivals even mine. He?s a joy to t
     
  21. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Poor Eitan :( he thinks it is his fault! Ohhh the pain of sadness and betrayal :( Qui didn't realize what he said. Poor Qui...

    Loved how Majid stepped forward, poor guy is getting old and Eitan sees this. At least he doesn't despise the fact he has an old Master. Good to see that he truly loves his Master [face_love]

    Great job on this! Great chapter indeed! The emotions were truly felt and the musings were great!
     
  22. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    What a heavy burden, and I'm sure Eitan is placing it firmly on his shoulders. This was just wonderful o_e. I could just feel the emotions in all of them as Eitan discovers what happened to his friend.

    Master Majid is so good for Eitan, he knew that Eitan would take Qui's words fully to his heart. I'm so glad Eitan has him right now, but I fear...and I don't know why evil o_e, ;) that he is not going to be around for very long. Something just isn't right in the temple and he has not been feeling well. :_|

    Poor Qui is so tortured, really well done with the aftermath of Telos.
     
  23. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2002
    That was sad! :_| Perhaps if Qui-Gon had showed Xan the same affection and concern that he showed Eitan, perhaps things could also been different.

    Eitan will carry the misplaced guilt he holds inside for many years to come. :(

    I see Garen and Eitan's friendship began early. :) With the love of flying in common, I see why they got along so well.
     
  24. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    That was sad! :( It will be nice to have Garen around. This story just gets better and better.
     
  25. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Oh, poor baby. :( His guilt is Qui-Gon's fault! :mad: :p

    Somehow, though, I don't think Qui-Gon would've been able to help Xan even if he had known that secret. For one, that would've hurt him, that Xan wasn't as much the perfect padawan as he'd thought. He might have had to start reining him in, and that doesn't work when you try to do it after years of letting a Xanman frolic freely. He said that to Eitan because he was in pain, but look what he did to poor Eitan!

    On a lighter note, can we see baby Garen? [face_love] :D
     
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