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Before - Legends On Broken Wings- OC's Complete! Author replies 6/12!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Nov 19, 2004.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I don't know how I feel worse for in this chapter! Qui-Gon feels betrayed, and that won't help matters. Eitan, well I just want to give that boy a hug! Xan? I would like to give him a swift kick in his Jedi knickers...

    Is it Jade that has that wonderful quote in her signature? I love it!

    Anyway, back to the story, another superb update. Keep up the good work, scratch that...great work!
     
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I really liked the dynamics in this one. Qui-Gon feeling such pain at his loss and then to find out that Eitan knew that Xan had been talking to his father.. no wonder he was harsh with the kid.

    Great job with this.
     
  3. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    Ah, Qui-Gon is definitely feeling betrayed. Poor Eitan, his guilt must be a heavy burden. It will be interesting to see what happens from here.
     
  4. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Oh, I knew this post was coming (great post by the way). Of all the things Qui could say ... Eitan felt bad enough as it was.
     
  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Poor Eitan now believes that all this is his own fault for not speaking up? :_|
     
  6. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Eitan?s accomplishments showed his devotion to doing well. His concerns for his aging master are touching. He is intelligent to accomplish protecting his master while still moving forward. He gets a poor Eitan :_| from me for all his good intentions that seem not to be enough.

    Qui-Gon is suffering and I can understand him wanting to place blame but those few words to Eitan and doubts they are causing may be the ones to damage him for years to come. :(

    I love how you are developing his wounded soul. [:D] Great painful chapter. ;)

    Yeah, and I went back and re-read the Obi-Eitan talk.
     
  7. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Kynstar Eitan adores his mentor. Majid's eventual fate was a hard blow. :_|

    ts Majid's fate isn;t looking good. :(

    Bekah I knew I had to explain why Garen was so determined to dismiss Obi-Wan's concerns about Eitan in Live. The two had a long history together. ;)

    AnakinsHeir Hum. Garen may pop up at least once. :)

    Jade Baby Garen? I'll see if I can work him in. :p

    VL I honestly understood Qui-Gon's feelings in this post. Eitan's lies of omission were like another slap in the face. :(

    Diane Glad you enjoyed. See, I can be nice to Jinn. :D

    BrokenNose Eitan's guilt is a heavy burden he doesn't soon forget. :_|

    Noi A part of Eitan was feeling guilt about keeping silent all along. This just seemed to nail that for him.

    PK I think he'll always feel he played a big part in Xan's fall.

    Altaira It's a challenge to go back and flesh out the events from Live. Glad it's working so far. :)


    I just relaized how sad this fic is. :_| Even worse it's only going to get worse. [face_worried]


    Chapter Eleven


    Dreams pass in time.


    Sitting on the edge of his bed while he pulled on his boots, Eitan laughed dryly as the words echoed through his head. Master Qui-Gon had been fond of those words over the years, repeating them often enough to the two friends. It had taken Xanatos?s betrayal and three long years of loss and worrying for Eitan to finally realize that they held no truth. His dreams were still filled with scenarios of what could have been if only he had spoken up.

    Rubbing eyes that were scratchy from lack of sleep, he pushed himself to his feet and made his way into the living area of the apartment. Pulling the shades open on the large window, he turned to find a familiar figure reclining on the couch. Even with nothing but the lighting given off by passing traffic, he was able to clearly see his mentor?s aged features relaxed in sleep.

    A small smile curved his lips as he moved over and grabbed the lightweight blanket off the back of the couch. Shaking it out, he gently set it over Master Majid?s body before kneeling down next to the elder Jedi. His mentor had a long standing habit of rising before dawn in order to meditate in the silence before daybreak. By the time Eitan was up and about, Master Majid had morning meal waiting and was prepared for the new day.

    That had been in the recent past, however. These days the aging Jedi arose at the same hour but was unable to remain awake long enough to prepare the meal or greet his maturing apprentice. Eitan inevitably found Master Majid taking a morning nap when he awoke and was forced to begin his day in solitude. Although he was always quick to assure his mentor that he didn?t mind, Eitan secretly dealt with a sense of sadness from the new changes to his life.

    His solemn broodings were cut off as Majid?s lashes slowly lifted to reveal kind golden eyes. A smile graced the Jedi Master?s lips as he was greeted with his apprentice?s beloved features.

    "Good morning, Kanoa." A hand that now trembled noticeably slowly reached out and gently touched Eitan?s face. "You didn?t sleep well. The dreams again?"

    Eitan bowed his head under the weight of the knowing look. "Yes, Master."

    A mournful sigh greeted his response. "We?ve discussed this issue often enough. You are not to blame for the choices Xanatos made. You have to put the past to rest in order to get on with your own life, Kanoa."

    "I know that, Master," Eitan replied, lifting a tortured gaze. "It?s difficult when I?m reminded of my betrayal every time I run into Master Qui-Gon. He can barely bring himself to look me in the eye or even speak civilly to me."

    "Qui-Gon Jinn is still wrestling with his own inner demons after the loss of his apprentice. You are a physical reminder of all he?s lost and as unfair as it may be, seeing you is painful for him. I?ve spoken with him and I can assure you that he bears you no grudge for the decisio
     
  8. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    So it's about the time before Obi-Wan is chosen then. Since Garen is chosen but you didn't mention that Qui-Gon had an apprentice.

    Vos is someone to watch. I like how you're coming in from the backstory and trying to match it up with the rest of this series.

    I like Eit'n's master. Very gentle and understanding - just what he needs.

    keep going!
     
  9. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    I get two Eitan stories this morning??? [face_batting] What are you trying to do, missy, spoil me? ;)

    Majid is definitely going through some changes. And I remember something from the first story which makes me really, really sad and also so curious about what is happening to him! I just love this backstory. I was also wondering how Quinlan fitted in and now I see how he's starting to take poor Eitan under his wing :_|

    Those nightmares are horrible! I know Qui is fighting his demons but Eitan REALLY needs to hear those words of forgiveness. The memory is eating him alive and I bet Quinlan can sense it. :( Eitan really needs Master Majid right now and when he opened his eyes and looked warmly at Eitan, you just know he is the right one.

    We get to meet little Kiran! [face_dancing] Everyone is starting to seem so young :p

     
  10. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2002
    You're doing an awesome job of pulling everything and everyone together.

    Did Eitan ever hear from Xan at all after he departed from the Order? [face_thinking]

    I wasn't aware that Ki and Eitan had known each other as padawans. Learned somethiing new today! :D

    I think Qui-Gon needs to remember how much Eitan means to him and talk to the boy.
     
  11. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Majid?s aging would be hard to watch. Eitan has not had many constants in his young life. Poor guy just keeps getting in with the wrong crowd, first Xan and now Vos. [face_plain] Losing Qui-Gon?s friendship does not help, so many losses. I?m glad he has Kiran. ;)

    I?m enjoying this even though I know of the problems to comes. :D It takes a lot of living and caring to turn into the brooding deep Eitan I love. :)
     
  12. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Aha! We get to see a lil Vos interaction!

    Poor Majid :( yep age be a catching up with him. Wise words to give to your apprentice... juz wished that Eitan had kept to heart those words, cuz obviously (pertaining to the other fic) he didn't.

    Great work! Got to meet Kiran!! Yay!! Can't wait for more!
     
  13. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Grr, Quinlan got to him young. The bastard. But Kiran was there early too to keep him on the straight and narrow, at least for a time. Master Majid's slow decline is so sad! I just love him - maybe some stories about his early years...? :p

    Shaindl
     
  14. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    Very cool to see Vos. I agree, I like seeing this story woven into your other stories. Great update.
     
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I love seeing the background stories of the characters from some of your other stories. How nicely you are putting them together! Love the story! And Eitan is still lovely... =P~
     
  16. CodeName_Targeter

    CodeName_Targeter Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2003
    It's Kiran!!! :D

    And that Vos dude seems very interesting.... I take it there's more back story here?

    ~Jenn
     
  17. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    The bad guy is here! :eek: And Majid's warning will probably make his eventual fate even more painful for Eitan.

    I loved Kiran. What a smooth guy. :p I have to say, I liked the idea of a jealous Xan. So possessive of Eitan, he is. [face_batting] But that's not a very good thing, either.
     
  18. anekasolo

    anekasolo Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 16, 2001
    Stupid Xantos!
     
  19. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Well, Vos has entered the picture. And yay, we met Kiran.

    I really like Master Magid and I really hate that I know what's coming.

     
  20. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Diane Yup. Obi will be returning from Bandomeer soon. You get Eitan's reaction to that. ;)

    ts Vos had his plans in the works for quite some time. [face_devil]

    Bekah Qui eventually has a talk with Eitan. ;)

    Altaira Kiran is younger so he won't be around Eitan much. [face_worried]

    Kynstar Vos pops up today. :D

    Shaindl No! Keep your evil vile bunnies away from me!!! :mad:

    BrokenNose So glad the backstory is pleasing so far. :)

    VL [face_blush] Thanks!

    Targeter Vos plays an important role in Eiatn's future. :(

    Jade Bad guy?! Where? [face_worried]

    anekasolo Xan is naughty. [face_batting]

    Noi You know what's next? How? ( suspicious look) :p

    Okay kids. My beta is abandoning me for a week. :_| Don't expect another post for awhile. ;)



    Chapter Twelve



    Eitan slid into the booth, his companion following suit on the opposite side. After placing their orders with the serving droid, the elder of the two rested an arm along the back of the padded seat and eyed his fellow Jedi piercingly.

    "You?ve been very quiet today. Is everything alright?" Quinlan inquired neutrally.

    Eitan hesitated before responding, his mentor?s words still foremost in his mind. Shrugging, he attempted to make light of Vos?s perceptiveness. "Master Majid informed me that we have an appointment with the Council this morning regarding my Trials."

    "It?s past time they allowed you to take them," Quinlan muttered heatedly. "Master Tiin feels the only thing holding them back is the fact that you were so close to deCrion. Some of them fear you may still be in contact with him."

    The younger man didn?t try to hide the shock he felt at hearing the news. He?d wondered the last few years if there wasn?t some type of connection between Xanatos?s fall and the Council?s seeming reluctance to allow Eitan his Trials. To hear it confirmed inspired immediate feelings of resentment and anger. Breathing deeply, his jaw clenching, Eitan stewed in silence as the droid returned and set their meals down before them. Hunching over his drink, he missed seeing the calculating gleam in Quinlan?s eyes as the young Master waved the droid away.

    "Perhaps I shouldn?t have said anything."

    "No, I?m glad you did," Eitan quickly reassured him. "I?ve had my own suspicions but Master Majid has always been quick to assure me that they have no merit."

    Quinlan took a bite of his food and carefully shifted the conversation. "How is Master Majid these days? Master Tiin expressed some concern for him the last time we spoke. He was worried about the weakness he sensed in him."

    His appetite forgotten, Eitan pushed the food around his plate. "I?m worried about him also. He and the healers both assure me that his condition is normal for his advancing years but I?m not so sure. It has me completely baffled because there are periods when he seems to bounce back to his normal level of activity."

    "Well, at least the Council is doing the right thing and keeping the two of you Temple bound as much as possible," Quinlan commented, his gaze never wavering from Eitan?s downcast expression. "How are things sitting between you and Master Qui-Gon these days?"

    A shrug accompanied Eitan?s response. "Since Xan?left, Master Qui-Gon is rarely at the Temple. Master Majid admitted to me that even the Council is concerned about the way Master Qui-Gon never rests but rather requests one mission right after another. The few times we have run into one another it?s been uncomfortable."

    "I know it?s difficult, but you have to get over this guilt you have over Xanatos?s leaving. He, at least, was strong enough to choose the path he felt the strongest about, regardless of how others tried to chain him to a life he hated."

    Something in Quinlan?s voice captured Eitan?s attention. Looking up, he studied the darkly handsome features closely. "You almost sound as if you admire him for his fall."

    The penetrating blue eyes pinned him down. "I admire him for rej
     
  21. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    NOOO!!! *******. :mad: In a strange way, though, he gave Eitan some good advice - to move on with his life. But the idea of becoming a good Jedi in order to bring about certain changes - not good!

    And what were those mistakes Vos was referring to? Or was he just lying in order to lure in Eitan?

    And what's wrong with Majid? :( Vos is doing something to him, isn't he?

    I hate this story. It's so depressing. :p At least I know what's going to happen, so it's not as painful. :D
     
  22. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Ohhhh that was intense! Poor Eitan... Vos is right about him needing to go on... to get over the guilt he was feeling.

    Ahhh sorry I can't help but still love Vos ;) *snrk* hehe though he is evil in this fic and the other one hehehe. He's soooo setting Eitan up :( poor kid...

    Awesome job!!
     
  23. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2002
    Quinlan knows an awful lot about Eitan's life. How long have they known one another? Either Quinlan did a thorough search through Eitan's background or Eitan has confided a lot in him.

    Eitan, listen to your master. He was right in his assessment of your friendship with Xan, so of course he is right in his assessment of Quinlan.

    Wondering about the ups and downs with Majid's health. Is it really just age associated problems, or is Quinlan somehow behind it? [face_thinking]

    Another post please! :D
     
  24. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Bekah- I was thinking the same thing about Master M. Something like arsenic?
     
  25. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    The intrigue is building. [face_batting]

    Vos is playing Eitan well. :mad: :_| His views on Xan and the Order are easier for Eitan to accept. The darkside is quicker, easier... don?t listen to him Eitan! I?d like to smack him upside the head too. Knock some sense into him before it?s too late. :D

    That was a great look into Vos? first influence on him. [face_mischief]
     
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