One Door Closes - AU, from Naboo - Updated - 10/19

I read this last night, but of course, offline, cuz your posts are too long for me to read with the internect connection blocking the phone.

Every section of this installment was breathtaking. After all this crap that's gone on concerning the true characterization of Anakin, it was refreshing to come here and see the closest thing to perfection concerning him and his thoughts and actions. It shows him wishing for freedom and acceptance, seeking the blind adoration of Palpatine, needing Qui-Gon's approval and affection,but feeling it's tainted by lingering mourning for Obi-Wan, etc. I thought the bit where he looks back on his Master's old missions with former Padawans was inspired. [face_shocked] Because he found many of them to be pointless displays the differences he has in relation to the other Jedi, and his own teacher. BUT the fact that he was apalled by the slavery of the children is describing a different aspect of his character, although much of his sympathy comes from his own experience, as it should.

Qui-Gon viewing the Council gathering was a little creepy, considering the Jedi Masters under suspicion! You wrote Yoda and Mace wonderfully, as well as Qui-Gon's first Padawan and the reaction she receives. I think in this section you created another layer to the story..and by the way, I hate you. It's not fair that you get all the brilliance, and place it in one amazing story! *Not to mention the others*

And, since best comes last, Obi-Wan. A lot of the nonsense concerning him and Anakin has been dispelled in my mind while reading this post. You can easily tell that there is something definitely un-Obi-Wan-like creeping into him when he addresses the masses, but mostly, its his compassion that he speaks, and his desperation to bring the discarded Jedi into one frame of mind.

This line struck me as totally powerful, and maybe reminiscent of some of his old, very alive, pain:

Once more his voice dropped and took on an almost serpentine sibilance. "You gave them your heart - and your soul - and your dreams. And they took them - and took them - and took them - and led you to believe nothing was more precious to them - than you. And - in the end . . ." He paused, and when he continued, the Force moved in his voice like the roar of a great storm. "They threw you away!"

[face_shocked] Wow. When I read that, I had to stop for a moment to gather myself!

The places where you describe his voice and his smile turning to something less-than-pleasant reminded me so much of Ewan *not in a bad way, of course*. You've completly captured Obi-Wan's mannerisms, and those that are slowly changing, and his reaction to everything that is happening around him.

Amazing.

And this other bit seemed to embody the situation for Obi-Wan:

"What is it?" asked A'Ricci, leaning close to whisper in his ear. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

He smiled, albeit very unsteadily. "Ghosts," he replied, "would seem to be my only real companions."

Beautiful job, CYN. I despise you forever.

 

Evil? There's a slippery word... I think that your Obi-Wan in this case isn't evil. But perhaps that is more because he believes he is doing the right thing -- not for him, but for those around him. But I would argue that this shadow of the OWK of the movies isn't really good either.

Excellent post as always, Cyn. I like how you dragged Anakin to the depths of his soul and back (kicking and screaming the entire way, of course) regarding his existence in the ranks of the Jedi. I adored your glimpse at my personal favorite Jedi Master and his feelings about the situation, as well as the way he still is more aware of Anakin than his padawan's arrogance lets him see. I also like your not-so-wholesome Obi-Wan. You have me curious as to his motivation. Surely it isn't revenge! But I can't come up with a better answer. If it isn't revenge for himself, it would be revenge for the other 'misfits'.

Also as a sidenote to that damn plot bunny you put in my head that won't go away regarding QGJ and Dooku, you certainly have a penchant for abused central characters, don't you?

Can't wait for more.

 

froggy - what a lovely thing to say! It's always nice to know I've struck a familiar note and been understood. Not always a given, ya know?

LE - thanks, Hon. You're good for my ego - especially since I have now been accused of writing Obi as 'too good to be true' - which, I suppose, equals uninteresting. To which I can only reply, "To each his own", I guess. He is, and will remain, my hero - but I hope I haven't turned him into some kind of emotionless automaton, without soul or flaw. Still, I think perfection - or the lack thereof - must inevitably reside in the eyes of the beholder - and I can assure you that nothing is going to ever change how I choose to write him. And I thank you for your remarks about my Anakin. Because I am NOT fond of this character, I tie myself into pretzel twists to explore him fairly - but I will NOT write him as St. Ani, either - because I don't think there's any way that St. Ani morphs into Vader, unless there was some nuance of Vader within him all along.

Still - those who worship Ani will disagree - and that's certainly their right, with which I won't quibble.

TMJ - you absolutely made my day - because, in this fic, I have chosen to have my hero react to the circumstances developing around him - and change accordingly. He is still MY Obi-WAn - but reality bites sometimes - and one either learns to bite back - or turn the other 'cheek' and lay in a supply of bacta!

Revenge? Certainly not a Jedi weakness - or is it? Or is something else at work here? I think you're going to have to keep reading - to find out. I hope I can still throw you an unexpected twist or two along the way.

Gotta run. For once, I am NOT going to ignore the fact that my lovely, soft, cozy little bed is calling my name like a lonely lover - and I plan to answer accordingly!

Ciao for now.

CYN

 

[face_shocked]

Amazing, Cyn, absolutely amazing.....

You captured the heartbreak of the reality of the "Jedi rejects", for lack of a better term, with heartwrenching poignancy...

Wonderful!!

<<"TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL!" And there was no doubt now; there was the dark corona of compulsion within the steel of that voice.

"I HATE THEM," she screamed. "Is that what you want to hear? I hate them. I hate that they think they can do this - to children. They took everything we had - everything we were - and they threw it away - like they threw US away. And I hate them for it - and I hope they die."

When she collapsed in wracking sobs, Obi-Wan caught her and held her, and soothed her as she clung to him. "Yes," he said softly, stroking her hair. "At last, we have truth here. Only truth - will save us now.">>



The entire speech at the end was wonderfully written, brava!!!

I'm also continually amazed at your ability to create a compelling but nonetheless contemptable Anakin...

Sometimes I want to wring that little Chosen One neck!!

*takes a deep breath*

I'm OK now...

Wonderful work, Cyn, and I look forward to more!!

(Oh, and BTW, that poem in your signature is one of my best friend's favorites!! We both think it describes her perfectly! )

 

Wow, I was almost struck speechless by that post (almost ). So much was covered and yet in the end I came away feeling that much of it was about peoples' dreams, the fact that our dreams can sometimes blind us to the truth and that the loss of those dreams and the illusions associated with them can change us forever.

Anakin's realization that no matter what, even if he attains the level of Jedi Knight, he will still be the little slave boy from Tatooine deep inside. Qui-Gon's realiziation that his dream of training the Chosen One and leaving that as his legacy blinded him to the truth, a truth that was painfully obvious to everyone else. Now that reality has encroached on the dream he is hoping that by some miracle he can avert disaster instead of creating a living legacy for himself.

And in the end, Obi-Wan has to give up not only his dream of being a Jedi, but also his belief in the Order itself and the rightness of their actions to fulfill his destiny and save these outcasts. The castaways themselves are being forced to admit to the harsh truth that they hate what was done to them rather than being allowed to hide behind the teachings they grew up with. As Obi-Wan said, their can only be truth now, even if the truth is harsh and cold and goes against everything previously believed to be true.

This is brilliant and actually painful to read at times. That is not a bad thing, it touches on what it is to be human and live and grow. No one escapes unscaithed, we have all left dreams and beliefs behind and it is never an easy process and always leaves us changed in some fundamental way. Beautiful and insightful work as always.

 

I canNOT resist: Jim Morrison said it best. "Nobody gets out of here alive."

OK - going back to bed now. Coherent responses in the AM.

CYN

 

Wow! That one chapter was longer than a lot of stories. But very engaging and compelling.

First, I want to say that I really like the way you've delved into the Jedi and their irresponsibility regarding the children they take from their parents, only to toss many out when they are not chosen as padawans. Sad, really. The little flashback of Garen was heart-wrenching.

I'm glad Qui-Gon is not so dense here like he is in a lot of stories. He secretly knows Anakin's true feelings about Obi-Wan. But now what is he going to do about it? It almost looks like a lost case.

And the Obi-Wan scene was nothing less than remarkable! I'm in awe! I can really see he's changing and definitely becoming very charismatic. He's what these people have been waiting for, and he's rising to the challenge.

"The only choice - is whether or not - we die with them."

[face_shocked] So what are they going to do?

I just love this story! I feel like I'm reading a pro novel here.

More soon - somewhere! Please?

 

Wow. That was one hell of a post -on several levels.

Love it for many of the reasons others have said so well, but I'd like to add I also loved your take on Anakin's perception of Palpatine - that he's desperate for someone who will (at least appear) to understand him, and tell him what he wants to hear.

-Tim

 

What can I say that has not been said yet, that might describe my impression to some extent, if poorly? Magnificent! It draws out thoughts and feelings. And it gives depth George could never hope for.

*Prolonged applause*

 

You know what happens sometimes? No matter how good the story is, you just can't bring yourself to read it? Like it happened with HP, LOTR, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, and a dozen other stories? This story is the latest victim of that strange moodswing.

It took me only oh-two-hours to catch up with the latest two posts, but that's okay. It wasn't a chore or anything, right? And it's got to be much more interesting than practically everything else that I have to do. It just means that I'm totally, completely, utterly, severely deprived of any kind of brain energy to do anything more than say: [face_shocked] and a "Well done."

Be back when I can actually say something about Obi-Wan's speech...and - ehem - You-Know-What.

Aunecah

 

New vignette up, on the Before the Saga forum - as promised.

I am POOPED - and taking a break.

CYN

 

Cyn, I'm begining to think this fic is going to be way longer than AUF ever was...

Amazing, absolutely wonderful, twisted and dark- full of the truth, and hard hitting...

Someday I aspire to having an 64th of your talent.

 

No time for in-depth responses, but you all know how much I appreciate your patronage.

Anyhoo - for anyone interested, there's a new post up on Song on ff.n.

Within the next month or so, I will probably be locking down all my threads on these boards, except for Freeze Frames, which is just too big to reformat and repost elsewhere - for now. Any who wish to follow the stories thereafter will be provided with information of where they can look to find them.

You're all the greatest.

CYN

 

Let me know where to find them- please!

 

Leaving and Locking up? [face_shocked]
Please let me know where to find your stories.
They continue to enchant me with every new post!! I love them. Your writing is beautiful and inspiring!!
Though I am not a consistent poster, I want you to know that I enjoy all of your works and am always excited to read the next one!!!

 

Hints as to why? I have a few suspicions, but I'd rather hear from you.

In any case, it's been a joy reading your work here, CYN. You can bet that we'll follow you farther than just ff.n.

 

Dear, wonderful, loyal readers. Before I actually 'leave the building - Elvis style' I will most assuredly give you my reasons, but I don't want to do so, shotgun, scattergun style. I prefer a precision strike - - so to speak. However, if you really want a hint, I'll just say that there is an upswelling of unpleasantness around here - and a persistant whine - and I absolutely despise whining, which accounts for my dislike of Bratakin, doesn't it? Needless to add, this is NOT directed at any of you, my wonderful readers - but it IS becoming prevalent on the site in general. More later.

And - because it's going to take a while to reformat everything - this story and Freeze Frames will remain here - for a while. And yes, I absolutely will let you know where I take them. NOTHING in my decision is, in any way, a reflection on the marvelous caliber of my readers here.

At the risk of repeating myself, you guys are just the best!!!!

CYN

 

I'm glad that you'll be letting us know where you are moving your stories to! Sorry to hear that you are leaving.

 

UP- you will provide us a link to your surgical strike, right?

 

Upping another one of CYN's terrific stories.

 

I know - I said I probably wouldn't continue to post this here, but it seems silly and petty NOT to post it, when it's done - and it doesn't violate any of the TOS - not yet, anyway.

So here it is - long-winded as always. Hey, it's me. What do you expect?

Hey, there, Georgie Boy! You're not gonna sue me - are you? What's the point; you've already got more money than the US mint, and me? I wouldn't hang out here if I didn't love ya.



**************** **************** **********


Chapter Eighteen: Dim Enchantments


"O Twilight! Spirit that dost render birth
To dim enchantments, melting heaven with earth,
Leaving on craggy hills and running streams
A softness like the atmosphere of dreams."

THE WINTER'S WALK -- Caroline Elizabeth Sarah Norton




"I question the wisdom of this meeting," said Master Ceyleia Hornegal, her lek'ku trembling slightly, indicative of her unease, as she regarded the other Masters gathered around the small conference table. Beyond the broad sweep of paristeel windows, the day was beginning to fade, leaving their faces touched with faint shadow. "This could be construed as . . . clandestine. We are Jedi, and it is not . . ."

"Yes," interrupted Master Xemmia, "we are, indeed, Jedi - and therefore, it is most inappropriate that we should be interrogated and treated with . . ."

"Unfortunately," said Master Quio, interrupting in turn - but very gently - "it is not unheard of for a Jedi to . . . turn away from the path of light. It has been many years - since we have endured such a betrayal, but it's obvious that something has happened. Whether we choose to admit the possibility or not, children ARE disappearing, and . . ."

"Children," observed Xemmia with a certain disdain in his tone, "who had been dismissed from training for the knighthood. Who's to say that they aren't simply . . . running off to exact some measure of revenge on those who dismissed them?"

The twi'lek Master regarded him with huge, wounded eyes. "Surely you're not serious," she said softly. "They've spent their lives under the protection of the Jedi; they wouldn't . . ."

"They might," said Master Roeth, his fingers steepled before him as he stared off into space. "It's the greatest flaw in our system - this . . . discarding of the young when they fail to meet our expectations."

"Discarding?" echoed Master Quio, as if the word were new to him. "Do you really believe they feel - discarded?"

Xemmia's eyes were cold. "Don't be daft, Quio. Of course, they do. How else would they feel?"

"I would hope," replied the Pydyrian, "that they would understand that not all are meant to travel the same path. That we all serve the Force, as it wills."

Master Ceyleia sighed. "It's obvious, Quio, that YOU believe that - and I don't dispute your beliefs. But the young . . . it's difficult for them. To accept the death of dreams is . . ."

Master Quio merely nodded, choosing to allow the subject to drop. "So . . . why are we here? What is it that we must discuss - that we cannot say openly, to the Council?"

"The Council," said Master Xemmia, "seems to have reached unwarranted conclusions. They appear convinced that the . . . security leak originates among us. I find it extremely - convenient. . . for them. There are, after all, many levels of personnel, within the Temple itself, with access to information about new assignments. To assume that the . . . treachery arises from beyond these walls is an exercise in arrogance - don't you think?"

But Master Quio - gentle demeanor notwithstanding - was nothing if not a stickler for absolute candor. "I see no evidence that the Council has reached any such conclusion. They're questioning everything, and everyone - which is entirely appropriate under such dire circumstances. We're discussing the fate of children, Master Plem - children entrusted to the oversight of the Jedi, by their parents. Gifted children, who deserve to be treasured and nurtured, no matter to which future the Force chooses

 

I get the first review and it has to say that I haven't read the new post yet because I only have a limited time due to terrible thunderstorms. I just wanted to say that I am glad you are staying here with this story for the time being, because last time I checked,you weren't getting the deserved number of replies at one of the other sites. I will be back at home whenever the thunderstorms let me cross the mountains and head back to the boring safety of Orange County. I will read and give it a proper reveiw then.

 

Another sterling post, CYN. Not that you could produce anything less.

This story is continually amazing in that it shows such depth to Obi-Wan's plight, and how Qui-Gon's actions ripple through many lives.

Out of all the wonderful prose, this stood out to me (for obvious reasons )

Very bare - as in COMPLETELY bare - skin - a condition he did not normally indulge. Sleeping in the raw was something he had done during his adolescence - as a mild form of teen-aged rebellion against rules he had considered invasive, not to mention downright silly - and much too constraining, as he had happily explored his own physicality, by virtue of methods and maneuvers virtually unchanged since the dawn of time.

His Master - through herculean efforts - had managed to ignore the quiet, but stubborn revolution that had transformed his good-natured padawan into a first class grump, in the certainty that it would pass in its own good time.

He had, of course, been right - and Obi-Wan had quietly, without comment, requisitioned new sleep pants and given up his determined-but-private nudity.

Now that is the true tragedy.

 

Wow! You could play baseball in here - and never have to worry about hitting a spectator! It's that empty in here!!!

PK - what were you saying about a lack of responses on ff.n? Actually, I get a LOT of hits on ff.n; it's just that lots of people lurk there. The difference is that, on ff.n, there's a way to track the # of hits.

Anyway - back to the grind. Today promises to be a real killer, as I have a conference this morning with a victims' advocate committee - and it always just blows me away how brave and incredible some of these kids are. Of course, it also makes me want to go find a gun and save the state the expense of a trial for some of these 'troubled' offenders.

Very neanderthal of me, hmmmmm?

Ciao for now, All. (And thanks, LE.)

CYN

 

Ack! I have to get offline in a few minutes and go do some stuff, and only now do I find out you've updated!! Argh!!


Of course, it also makes me want to go find a gun and save the state the expense of a trial for some of these 'troubled' offenders. >>

Nienderthal, perhaps, but I'd advocate a similar fate for rapists... (tempted to hand CYN his .45)

I'll try to read and review ASAP.

-Tim