Saga One Prick to Bleed - an AU beginning in AotC (Obi, Ani, Sabe, Yoda) - Mar. 1

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Amidolee, Jun 24, 2005.

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  1. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Pillows are wonderful. I shall cyber-send you one for Christmas.
  2. Calamity Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2000
    star 4
    I've just finished reading the whole thing and can only say how fantastically wonderful it is! :D I agree, I was disappointed when I got this far anf there was no more, so pretty please on the next post appearing soon!

    Quite simply one of the best stories on the board. :)
  3. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Must reaffirm how much I love this fic so that it does not die!
  4. DancesWithBlasters Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 22, 2006
    star 4
    I happened to click on this because both Sabe and Obi Wan were mentioned in the title, and now i'm hooked. You have no idea how crestfallen I was when I realized there wasn't another post for me to read. This, just wow, i love it. I hope there's new chapter soon.
  5. Amidolee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2000
    star 5
    Hi, everyone! I'm so sorry it's taken me a month to get another post out - and it's not even a long post! February was a bit hectic between school, being sick, and just feeling down. I'm posting this in hopes I'll get the next one (longer and hopefully better) out much, much sooner. Welcome and hello to the new readers!! :) And, Calam, I miss you!! [:D]

    Chapter Sixteen

    She?d almost lost it. The knowledge of it, the asphyxiating sensation of loss coiling and tightening around her, she still felt it in a grim, shameful way. It had passed, she could still feel the moment of it passing, releasing without relief, and it burned coldly in her gut. She?d almost lost it, in there, under the Jedi?s gazes. They?d watched the Temple?s current push her under, hold her against the rock bottom, just because she was not worthy to swim in it. The almost was important, the almost gave her air. The almost let her sink to her knees and close her eyes, alone in this small quarter buried deep within the Temple. Dolin Ramoul?s humming words blurred around her, gently distorted bubbles cocooning her in the ebb and flow of the Jedi haven.

    Time must be passing, unconcerned with the lives it grasped, but it meant nothing to Sabé as she meditated. In one circular moment, she was breathing the healer in, feeling a prick of curiosity break through the green bile contaminating her insides, then he was drifting away as she was escorted into her quarters, sinking to her knees as her lungs tried to close and the bile rose up again . . . and then the cold trigger curving under her finger, the hot dripping of blood, with Obi-Wan looking on, frowning, the trigger still so smooth as all the while Dolin hummed away and her knees ached into the floor.

    Training usurped her scattered, drowning emotions, melding her mind back into an orderly form. The room . . . she became the walls as she fell away, letting a piece of herself pass under the current and grind against the rocks. The room . . . the rock. Painful as her entrance into the Temple, but indifferent to her, unable to be ice or fire. A contradiction because of her and what she brought to it. Utilitarian and simple as any Jedi?s quarters, not quite a jail cell, though she was its prisoner. A sleep cot, a refresher, and the gently curving blue-grey walls to envelope her. Swallowed inside the Temple. She preferred the cold ship?s hold, shackled to a bracing pole. Or secreted in her hovel deep beneath the Temple, a rat scuttering in the catacombs. Not here, finally in the Temple, buried in its current. Where she did not belong.

    The order of things, truths and memories, her place . . . they settled down, bowing beneath the room?s unconcerned curve. She breathed evenly in and out. Her behavior in the Temple, the near loss of control, came from guilt and shame. Shame from her guilt. What settled worse with her? Her actions or her shame in her actions? She?d become a killer. Not a passionate one, or even a productive or successful one. The higher principle, the greater cause, the duty and purpose, the complete lack of self . . . that?s where the kill came from. But it emptied. The conviction?her conviction?left with the whistling dart. She had not known it or felt it. Had she been so empty and thoughtless by then to not notice? To feel the last of her slip away with a deadly hiss?

    Something acidic lingered in her throat, eating away as she breathed in and out. She, Sabé Mabriee, was the betrayer. Her violation sealed the moment she stepped into the Temple and felt the air abandon her. Guilt for her actions, for her and Skywalker?s blood spilling and pooling, betrayed her duty. Her conviction had been lost, with it her mind, and she could not wield conviction and execute duty if she was so thoughtless. No self to dedicate. But then, somewhere in that struggled breath, had she gasped some of herself again? And in there, if she found some self through guilt, she betrayed Yoda a second time.

    The door slid open, breac
  6. BloodRaven77 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2005
    star 2
    Wow I'm actually crying I feel so bad for poor Sabé. What a position to find herself in. I truly look forward to seeing what is to come for her. Not to mention her meeting to be with Padmé and lovesponge i mean Anakin...
  7. DancesWithBlasters Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 22, 2006
    star 4
    Hello. I'm new, but I wanted to let you know that I love this story. I hope you update this story soon.
  8. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    A post! A post! There's really a post! I'm so happy this isn't abandoned... I would have cried so much if it were!

    Anyways, gah, talk about tension? Although, seriously, I don't see why Sabe has to be the one sorry. So obvious who's the wronged one here... asking murder from a young woman! Indeed!

    She was without

    So poignant! Sad, sad, sad...

    I loved it!

    Padme pays Sabe a visit

    It comes! It must come... Gah, can't wait for it!
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Poor belwildered and used Sabe
  10. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    YAY a post!!! [:D]

    Awww, poor Sabé. At least Yoda is being all nice about it!

    Great job, babe!
  11. MasterSareBabe Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2004
    star 3
    Awesome as always. You know you are a SW freak if you read the word "babe" and pronounce it in your head as "ba-bay" like "Sabe". LOL. [face_whistling]
  12. Amidolee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2000
    star 5
    Yay, less than a month!

    ~*~*~

    Obi-Wan supposed that if his nap had not been entirely restful, it certainly had been productive. Jedi were generally not insomniacs and natural sleep should come easily, even if one was plagued by the demands of his mission or present predicament. Some of a Jedi?s earliest training dealt with the various sleep cycles, whether they be restful or meditative. Obi-Wan, shutting himself away upon Master Windu?s orders, had known his mind was too wired despite his exhaustion, but he merely had to use a little discipline before he was out in a wonderfully unconscious state of nothingness. Once he was physically sound, he?d moved into deep meditation. Now, after being a total of fifteen hours away from the rest of the galaxy, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, resigned to facing it.

    A grim, empty sort of quiet surrounded him. Obi-Wan kept still for a moment, breathing silently as his senses absorbed the functional, sparse confines of his quarters. If he was less trained, had slipped somewhere in discipline, he would have curled under his sheets to shut out everything. The notion never crossed his mind. He just needed a moment.

    Then the Jedi moved, noting how the tight emptiness in his stomach matched the absence around him. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the dirty clothing he?d shed without regard to tidiness. What would his Padawan say? Obi-Wan started to smile, but it died very quickly. He stooped and chucked the beige pile into the laundry bin beside his bed.

    When he emerged into the small apartment?s common, the vacancy was poignant. All the lights were on their lowest setting. The air even smelled unused. Did the Council still have Anakin in questioning? How long could they possibly keep him without break?

    Obi-Wan spotted the flimsy note on the kitchenette?s table and picked it up, a feeling of foreboding creeping up his neck. When did Anakin ever do the proper thing and leave notes for him?

    It simply read: Out. ? A

    Obi-Wan sighed, whether from relief or exasperation, he didn?t know. He folded the little flimsy square up as he went to the window and adjusted the shade screen to let in Coruscant?s late morning light. The flimsy felt tiny, insignificant, between his thumb and forefinger. Coruscant looked bleached. He turned away, rubbing at his eyes. He needed to shower and eat and find out what the bloody was going on.

    The refreshing water hitting his skin shook him out of his thoughtless state. His mind, having become passive in the transition from meditation to regular consciousness, reasserted itself. The facts of the matter scrolled behind his eyes. They weren?t good. No matter which end or angle he looked from, it was bad. The violence against and done by Anakin was questionable enough, but it almost paled in retrospection to the concrete fact of his betrayal. Obi-Wan hung his head, watching the water gather and run off the ends of the hair falling before his eyes. Yes, betrayal. Anakin had betrayed the Jedi, forsaken his oath the moment he took vows with Senator Amidala. It was fact. It was certain. Pure.

    The act meant Anakin rejected the Jedi Order, but Obi-Wan knew the Padawan did not see it as betrayal. This was not an excuse. Some of the Code was designed for interpretation, but not a Jedi?s loyalty and dedication. If Anakin would so blatantly circumvent his own oath out of selfishness, then how could one expect him to follow or dedicate himself to any of it? The answer was a long one. Obi-Wan had witnessed some of it. The rest he had learned after the fact. Anakin killed in nonsensical revenge. Then he?d harmed again, using the dark side. Lying, killing, betraying. The sum of their parts was just as bad.

    Condemning, that?s what the facts were. But Obi-Wan could feel his checked and orderly feelings lurking in his empty gut, just as he could feel the warm, cleansing water trailing down his back. The facts hurt, but then it was Anakin. How could he possibly want to make excuses for him? How could
  13. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    Showering Obi... =P~ =P~


    Heh. Good luck on getting Ani to break up with Padme, Mace.


    And *HUGGLES SABE*.


    Stupid Anakin. You're doing an excellent job of making me hate him. :p


    And Showering Obi... =P~
  14. BloodRaven77 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2005
    star 2
    Holy sweet **** was this amazing. I love the inner struggle revealed in Obi-Wan and the calculating cool of Anakin. And the intereaction between Sabé and Anakin in the cell actually reminds me of a scene I rped some time ago in Livejournal. The results were more violent but the concept was quite similiar it was awesome to see it done in fanfic form and in AU fashion *melts* I LOVE YOUR SABÉ!!!

    *Waits eagerly for more*
  15. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    Wow Amidolee, wow. This is an amazingly well written, well thoughtout well plotted story. I love it. You're characterizations of Anakin, Padmé, Obi-Wan and especially Sabé are so well rounded and detailed. I love the insanity in Anakin and the drama between S & P that we know about, yet barely know anything at all. It's funny to think that technically this is all because of a boy, even if that boy is smelly ol' Palpatine.

    I can't wait for Sabé and Padmé to confront one another, and part of me wonder's at Padmé's motivation for allowing Sabé clemency. Of course, I was also very excited for the Sabé/Saché reunion, but that was emotionally unfufilling for me. :p Oh Sabé! Why did you have to be so cold? And why didn't Padmé tell the truth about letting the other girls go? What was to be gained by lying to Sabé? Perhaps Ami thought it would make it easier to convince Sabé? Hmmm... seems she doesn't know her very well.

    The only sad part about me finding this now, is that now I have to actually wait for you to update, as opposed to just reading in class, like I did today! :p

    Fanfriggintastic!

    ~Obischick~

    edit: Sorry, just reread the ending of that last post again! Anakin! Stop blaming your problems on other people! Gah! Emo teeenagers! :oops:
  16. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    The brat returns! I'm not liking this change in him... this newfound control is too... cold. Not at all compassionate.

    I like the Council's verdict; not yes or no, but leaning toward no, the way things are playing out. Anakin and Sabe's banter was also very interesting... both have some sharp barbs!

    But where is PAdme? I must see reunion! </whining>
  17. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Can I kill him? Please????
  18. Japor_Angel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2006
    star 1
    Hmmm...somehow I don't think trying to kill Anakin was a very good solution. The attempt has only made his character darker. Not good. I'm secretly in love with him [face_shhh] but in this fic I want to hit him so he'll come to his senses. (kidding about the in love part, of course).

    I like the way you've set this up. There's no true bad guy, and I can understand all of the characters with the realization that they are not perfect. I know a lot of people really hate Anakin right now, but I understand where he's coming from. I don't agree with him. I mean, yeah, he's got a right to be upset, but his vibe is way too cold right now. And I don't agree with Yoda on this, either, it just seems immoral. I mean, it wasn't like Anakin was beyond redemption at the point where he asks Sabe to assassinate him. But, hey, it's your story.

    I'd write a longer review, but I'm really tired right now. Just wanted to say that you're doing a really good job, and that you're a great writer!=D=
  19. Amidolee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2000
    star 5
    bloodraven77 - lol, your enthusiasm continues to floor me!

    obischick - Welcome to the fic! :) I'm really glad you're enjoying it, and like the point you brought up about Sache and Sabe's reunion being emotionally unfulfilling. It's meant to be. Sache's rather disappointed with it. Don't worry, she'll be back fairly soon. The drama between Sabe and Padme will get some more play in the next post. (And, yes, Anakin is so emo).

    bobill - I'm being a very mean author and having scenes in my head that will probably never, ever get into the fic (which is already unwieldy enough as it is). Anakin's change in attitude has much to do with where he went after his little, er, discussion with the Jedi Council. Palpatine is quick to turn an unexpected situation to his advantage. To get this plausibly across, I really should do a scene from Ani's PoV, but I'm not particuarly adept at it, nor do I look forward to it. I need to suck it up for the sake of the story, I just haven't decided where precisely to stick it.

    PadawanKitara - By all means, do! :p Just be sure to do a better job that Sabe did.

    Japor_Angel - Hello! You're right, everyone is rather flawed and mucking up big time here. Yoda's decision, which has only been inferred or lightly explained, are not immoral. Just more . . . proactive than what we get in the PT. I debated how far to hint/manipulate the last post into suggesting that Yoda had intended for Sabe to fail, along with forcing this trial upon Anakin. But I think I cowered a bit from it. *sigh* It's always kind of bothered me that Yoda more or less witnesses Anakin slaughtering the Tuskens, feels what's going on inside him, but doesn't really do anything about it. In this AU, the Jedi aren't being so passive with the encroaching dark, but neither are they the idyllic order (hence, it's got some secrets within its operations).

    Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! :)
  20. DancesWithBlasters Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 22, 2006
    star 4
    I was really glad to find another post up. You did a great job. I do hope that we get to see that Sabe/Padme scene soon.
  21. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    I'm being a very mean author and having scenes in my head that will probably never, ever get into the fic (which is already unwieldy enough as it is).

    [face_plain] [face_plain] [face_worried]

    The drama between Sabe and Padme will get some more play in the next post.

    Oh, whew. Ok. I won't jump off a bridge yet. Ah, I love estrogen overloads...

    I debated how far to hint/manipulate the last post into suggesting that Yoda had intended for Sabe to fail, along with forcing this trial upon Anakin

    Woah, I totally missed that! Now it all makes sense! I always did think Yoda was being extra-cruel in this one... then again, he's still being cruel, using Sabe this way. I guess, in the end, Chosen One > personal assassin.

    Such a badly disguised shameless up, this is... but I must have more!
  22. Senator_Lorena Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 21, 2003
    star 2
    Now, what does Anakin have up his sleeve?

    Poor Sabe. She's been a pawn all along. It seems there is no one who will treat her fairly. The Jedi, mainly Yoda, may be creating a monster -- and I don't mean Anakin!

    Great update! So proud you were able to make a post in less than a month! ;)

  23. Calamity Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2000
    star 4
    I got the Yoda wanting Sabe to fail in your post, I read it as bringing Anakin's "problems" to light. I don't think Yoda's bad, I'm guessing that there will be a good reason as to why he's using Sabe in the way he did, probably allowing her to find herself and her own path in life!

    Lovely discription again in the post.

    And I'm with Miana... OBI SHOWERING!!!!! :D ;)
  24. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    And I'm with Miana... OBI SHOWERING!!!!! :D ;)

    I wouldn't say no to that either! [face_batting]

    Thanks for the welcome Amidolee, I just had to read it when I saw Handmaidens (Sabé) where in it... especially when I went on a special search for them and couldn't find anything that wasn't either completely mush or excessivly bad Sabiwan. So hurrah for this! :)

    Wow, what a really long badly disguised UP this turned out to be! ;)

    ~Obischick~[face_peace]
  25. Amidolee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2000
    star 5
    Oy, guys, I'm just letting you know it might be another week before the next post. This week has just dumped all over me, and I discovered tonight there is no hope for the big long post like I planned. :( Just thought I'd let y'all know.
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