Amph One Thread To Rule Them All: The Rings of Power + The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings Trilogies

I LOVE An Unexpected Journey, and I hold it as my second favorite Peter Jackson Middle Earth [hereafter, PJME] movie after The Two Towers. Desolation of Smaug disappoints me, and is probably my least favorite PJME movie, rescuing Fellowship of the Ring from the dubious position.

What I liked about the movie:

Spoiler

Many of the action sequences especially the spiders, a developing Bilbo character, the return of Legolas (including the shameless fanservice moment with Gimli in the locket drawing), the Smaug special effects.

Aaaaand what I disliked about the movie:

Spoiler

For the first time ever, I feel like PJME is throwing too many special effects at the screen and shoehorning unnecessary elements. The ending left a sour taste in my mouth, resolves absolutely nothing, and leaves a lot of damage control to the final chapter. The sequence with the golden statue demonstrated a thorough lack of understanding of metallurgic thermodynamics. However, I have a strong feeling this movie could be redeemed by There and Back Again or by the extended edition. I just wish it didn't have to sacrifice so much story for the sake of a shocking ending.

Legolas Skywalker, please prove me wrong. I want to like this movie.

 

I'm in the (non-existent?) minority that dislikes the Hobbit movies somewhat. Its not as bad as the first part, but still dragged on a lot. Dragging out one novel for... nine hours (at the rate they're going) isn't pleasant. Its not just too much made-up material, but too many plots and just feels boring.

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I just knew the dwarves' extra bit of action at the end (running around the Lonely Mountain trying to avoid getting killed by Smaug) was only there to set them up to fail. I also knew, because you can never have too much angst (or at least that seems to be the popular idea these days) that Bilbo would say "What have we done?" at the end, as they're setting Thorin up as mostly a flawed figure. With how long the movie had been dragging on, I knew they would end it at that moment, with Smaug bearing down on Laketown.

Yeah, I know book Thorin was far from perfect, but the greed and Arkenstone as a sort of One Ring analogue (I think that Elf king was asking for it too? With how dramatic everyone is acting, I have a hard time hearing everything) are heavy-handed. Or how Gandalf and Thorin met in Bree. I haven't read the Appendixes for a while, but I'm mostly sure it was Gandalf taking a break in Bree, thinking about the dragon and then Thorin came up to him, asking about a venture. Here, the movie made it look like Thorin couldn't handle things, about to be attacked by people (same as how Azog beat up Thorin at the end of the first movie) then Gandalf came along and set up everything. Partially its just being a book purist and disliking change, but wish Thorin could have accomplished more before his serious falling out with Bilbo (over the Arkenstone).

Not to mention Bilbo actually meeting Smaug face to face. Well, at the rate the ring is corrupting him, it looked like he would turn into Gollum in about a week then the sixty years it actually took to really get a hold on Bilbo. It could be chalked up to Sauron being more powerful, but still. With all the references to LotR, surprised they didn't add in a reference to Thrain losing the last Dwarf Ring too. The chase scene dragged on long, and not entirely sure why the dwarves didn't just run back out the way they came rather than running deeper into the mountain. I knew the whole gold statue thing was just there to fail. I forget if the book said Bard used a bow or a mounted bow (pretty sure it was just a normal bow), but I expect the one black arrow to be tossed around for 20 minutes before someone finally fires it at Smaug. Disappointed they didn't have the belly covered with jewels, but guess that was to tie in with the earlier lord of Dale damaging Smaug slightly. I was chatting about it with someone else, and they hadn't read the book and were wondering if it was Tauriel who would fire the arrow- what with how the elves are so super good at fighting in general and especially archery. Its nice to watch, but its mostly one-sided. Even Bard only had a few moments. And I hope Bard actually gets to fire the arrow, though looks like he's going to have to use that mounted arrow thingy instead of just firing an arrow on his own- I expect at least five minutes obstruction from the Master or his Wormtongue lackey to drag out the battle. Other things are just dragged out for drama, like the moonlight revealing keyhole rather than the sun, but whatever.

I just wish it wasn't so long. I was hoping they would end the film with Bard killing Smaug, and then end the film there, with a big final-ish battle and then showing everyone else preparing to set out for the lonely mountain and now available gold. But as I'm not a fan, I was expecting more of an abrupt ending and was already standing up (well, getting ready to stand up) after that last Bilbo line as I expected the end there. But that combined with Gandalf's sideplot (though it was nice to see Radagast again, even if the idea of Ringwraiths with their Nine Rings ever being dead is silly) and then the, what, five minute Tauriel healing scene were really dragging things out.

Also sad they seemed to have sucked out any humor left. Like the Beorn introduction. I have no idea about the skinchanger and slavery bit (no idea if that was in some of the expanded material, but probably not especially since Azog was killed at Moria I thought), but was hoping Gandalf could've have done the "couple/few/group/dozen dwarves" storytelling bit. Probably would have been a good recap for the first movie, but probably wasn't violent enough for the writers. What with a lot more darker stuff like the Mordor arrow slowly killing Kili (huh, orcs have a lot better weaponry now when before it was the Witch-King himself who had the cursed Mordor blade), and then the extended barrel fight scene. Which was cool, with Bombur bouncing all over the place (then double-wielding barrow fighter!) but again mostly just another extended elf showcase.

It was a fun film, but I wouldn't watch the whole thing again. Way too long. Some great character moments though.

Spoiler

Like the moment when they saw the Lonely Mountain and Bombur (who didn't lose his memory, fortunately) added the rest of his money.

 

Everyone has an opinion. For me, the theatrical release of Fellowship of the Rings is a timeless classic on par with some of the greatest films ever made. But after that, Peter Jackson bloat and the "fan fic" mentality slowly begins to descend over Middle Earth. Two Towers is the second best of the first four. Still haven't seen Hobbit 2.

 

I didn't because it was the first of many scenes that featured, as talented as John Noble seems, what amounted to a one-note performance of what should have been a multi-faceted, tragic character.

But that complaint is an apple to this film's genetically mutated and engorged oranges. Not even going into story beats, but these films continue to look atrocious. The first scene with the dwarves and Bilbo made the film look like it had a daytime soaps budget. The quality is pretty inexcusable. But at least the dragon was fun. At least before the pickup sequences (you can tell because Benedict Cumberbatch stops talking for like five minutes at a time).

 

So do they all fight in an arena at the climax while the Separatists point and laugh at them?

 

Change arena to Erebor and Separatists to Smaug and the answer is yup. And it is glorious. Running with a wheelbarrow never looked so majestic.

 

It's opening with less moneys than the original did. Obviously, this means it's going to flop, and the third one will be released DTV.

 

every action sequence in this thing is an over-pumped, ludicrous, and incomprehensible cgi mess. as soon as the director appeared on screen like two seconds into the film in a "argggg look at me! 3-D!!!!!!" moment i thought "uh-oh." and why is legoland even in this movie, surfing into battle on various objects over and over again, shooting arrows into orcs at point-blank range? though i'm actually somewhat curious how peter jaggsin is going to stage the transformation from feral, fat, psychopath legoland to the more tame, slim, less bloodthirsty legoland. perhaps he will fart at the end of the third movie and whatever malevolent spirit is possessing him will escape harmlessly from his elfin butthole. i suppose we will see!

 

I have really mixed feelings about this one, and I say that as someone who mostly enjoyed An Unexpected Journey and all of its self indulgent glory.

On the one hand you have some really great moments in the movie that I'm really glad I managed to watch on the big screen. Bilbo's initial encounter with Smaug was really well done and is one of the most memorable moments in all of the Middle Earth movies to date. I also liked that the ring is portrayed as having an effect on Bilbo, it helps give him some more character development after his main character arc was finished in the first movie. And there's some fun to watch, creative set-pieces that are typical of Peter Jackson's work.

That being said there's so much bloat on display here. Said set-pieces could have done with some editing to make for a leaner film. And most of the additional stuff that wasn't in the book doesn't really add that much. In fact it often detracts. An example of this would be Tauriel. I had no problem with a female elf being written into the movie so that we could have a strong female role model present for the 21st century audience. However she felt more like a cynical attempt to squeeze a love triangle into this story because, hey, Lord of the Rings had Aragorn, Eowyn and Arwen, so we need some kind of equivalent in these movies right? Right?

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And having that love triangle involve Legolas and Kili made the entire endeavor feel like self-insert fan fiction.

I'm also left a bit cold by the ending. It comes out of the blue and sort of just leaves the audience wondering what the hell just happened. And, again, I can't help but feel that the movie ends where it did not out of a creative spark, but because of more cynical reasons.

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By having The Desolation of Smaug end where it leaves off I can't help but keep in mind that Smaug has very little screen time left to go, unless they go against the book and have him survive Rivertown to turn up in the battle of the five armies (Which at this point I'm really not ruling out. The trilogy has already shown willingness to disregard accuracy to the books for the sake of more bloat.) They could have comfortably concluded the Smaug story within another 5-10 minutes, especially if they cut all the faffing about inside Erebor's forge. I'm going to assume the only reason its not been concluded in Desolation is because someone thought it would be a good idea to have Cumber-Smaug appear in the promo materials for the third part so as to help sell the movie, even if he only appears for five minutes at the start of it.

 

Not to mention, the consensus seems to be that people like Desolation much better than Journey. Clearly I'm the odd man out here, but it's not the first time; After all, my Star Wars ranking is a controversial 5-2-4-1-3-6. I guess I just have weird tastes.

 

Spoiler

But Saruman was not there.

 

Is Saruman even in this one?

 

Spoiler

No, even Galadriel only had one flashback and some old lines.

 

So in regards to dragon designs, how is Smaug compared to the likes of Draco, the ones from Reign of Fire, etc.?

 

I never saw that movie, all I can say is I'm pleased with Smaug's looks.

 

No, neither was Elrond,

 

Stephen Colbert cameo: he's one of the "spies of Lake Town."

 

And Jackson reprises his cameo role from Fellowship

 

Whaaaa?!

 

Yes, but Lake-Aragorn is essentially only mentioned in passing, as is the Master. The Laketown chapter is like five pages, so I was pleasantly surprised that with what (some of what) they added, Laketown's townspeople are sympathetic to a higher degree than in the book.

 

I've got to check through my copy, and my memory is fuzzy, but I don't think the Laketown subplot was there. The Master wasn't nice, but Bard was a guard, which is why he had the black arrow in the book, rather than what we saw in the movie. The whole revolutionary/social struggle plot is an addition. Not quite sure how the book put it, but it wasn't quite so poor and pitiful as in the movie, I think. Although in the movie it was a nice change of scenery from all the bridges and narrow pathways interiors (in Mirkwood and the Mountain and from the last movie) too.

The barrel sequence, sort of, yes, but a lot less fight scenes in general. The Elves didn't play as big a role, with Legolas and Tauriel being added in of course (Tauriel being completely new). The timing was different too (in the book, Bilbo spent at least a week or two sneaking about the Elves' prison looking for the dwarves). But the movies in general are playing up the elf and dwarf antagonism more- they didn't get along, but the dwarves' departure from Rivendell for instance is much sillier (them trying to sneak out after not having much taste for that green stuff). Keeping with the movies' general perception of dwarves as comic relief. Though the original Hobbit was much lighter than LotR, but not quite as... juvenile, with all the jokes (the toilet thing is completely made up ).