Lit One Sentence or Less -- A FOREST APART

Discussion in 'Literature' started by CooperTFN, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus

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    star 6
    Maybe I should be thread Putin and resume control after a nominal period of transferred authority to a lesser, more ineffectual stooge.
    Ulicus and Random Comments like this.
  2. instantdeath Force Ghost

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    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    You think there's a lesser, more ineffectual stooge than me out there? Why, I've never felt so complimented in my life.
  3. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

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    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    The New Republic finally grants people the right to be ruled by a brutal dictators if they want while Luke and Mara accidentally destroy Thrawn's master plan for defeating the Vong.
    Thrawn1786 likes this.
  4. CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus

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    ...and that is what happens when no one updates the title.
    Random Comments likes this.
  5. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

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    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Well it was more.

    "Hey, 1138 reminded me this thread was awesome. I need to post on it!"
  6. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    I blame @Ulicus. He even liked the post in which I announced the new book, but in a feeble attempt to rebel refused to update the title. :mad:
  7. Parnesius Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2012
    star 1
    Dark Greetings, imperfect one: herein is the tale of the claimant Emperor Trioculus(1), his quest to obtain the titular mitt, and the resulting desperate undersea battle(2) with SPIN's(3) Whaladon-saving do-gooders Luke(4)Skywalker, Threepio(5), Artoo(6) and the Admirable Ackbar(7).

    (1) (the second-most-tackily-named three-eyed mutant in the series)
    (2) (Trioculus came here to prod buttock and eat zoochberries...and he's all out of zoochberries)
    (3) (secretive shadow government but it's the good guys so it's okay)
    (4) 'attack, attack, attack'
    (5) (disguised as a mean, green, Kesselian machine)
    (6) (with the phonetically-rendered dialogue you've all been clamouring for)
    (7) (expert getaway driver, atmosphere-, deep space- and deep sea-qualified chauffeur, marine tour guide and friend to all Whaladons, in his spare time Ackbar likes to oversee the entire war effort against the Empire)
    Last edited by Parnesius, Sep 20, 2013
  8. CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus

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    star 6
    Your cheating knows no bounds, does it?
  9. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

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    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    A dramatic story of how corrupt politicians use the Power of Myth to place a False Messiah on the throne of the Empire, only to have this story sidelined by Luke Skywalker's concern for saving the whales.
    Last edited by Charlemagne19, Sep 20, 2013
  10. DigitalMessiah Chosen One

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    Feb 17, 2004
    star 5
    I cannot and will not attempt to sum up The Glove of Darth Vader in one sentence.
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  11. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

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    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    "The worst stain on Star Wars history which goes the extra mile in turning the franchise from a children's series to a childish series and whose very name today is still synonymous with bad."
    Last edited by Charlemagne19, Sep 20, 2013
    Revanfan1 likes this.
  12. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    I can sum that up in one word or less: party-pooper [face_not_talking]

    (or is that two words?)
    Last edited by instantdeath, Sep 20, 2013
  13. Parnesius Jedi Grand Master

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    Sep 8, 2012
    star 1
    The new thread overlord liked it.

    Oh, all right. I'll be sensible. New entry.

    If you'd like, a year after Endor,
    to see Luke 'gainst a new contender
    to both Palpatine's throne
    and hammier shouts prone
    than Lando's 'Minions of Xendor';
    if wackiness needs a parader
    writ in the prose of a third-grader
    then you've but to look
    in this most bizarre book
    titled The Glove of Darth Vader!
    Last edited by Parnesius, Sep 20, 2013
    tjace, krtmd, Ulicus and 4 others like this.
  14. Havac Some Guy Who Moderates Lit

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    star 7
    Without three sentences, this summary could never achieve perfection.
  15. Jedi Ben Chosen One

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    Jul 19, 1999
    star 6
    Arse, beaten to it.
  16. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    @Havac strolls in and takes it the last minute, though if I'm being fair, I suppose I have to award @DigitalMessiah some credit as well, since he provided the springboard. First joint victory, or first of many instances of the new thread overlord abusing his power? You decide. Still, I suppose if there can be only one victor, they can always mudwrestle for it.

    I think I'll go the obvious route once more, but switch it up a bit after this one.

    [IMG]

    Just a heads up: any post that does not include something about the greatness of Ken, the Jedi Prince, will not be getting my like.
  17. Todd the Jedi Mod and Sitcom Dad of SWTV

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    Something something greatness of Ken, something something Jedi Prince, something something Dark Greetings.
  18. DigitalMessiah Chosen One

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    [IMG]

    I for one welcome our new power-abusing overlord.
    Last edited by DigitalMessiah, Sep 22, 2013
    BigAl6ft6, AusStig and instantdeath like this.
  19. instantdeath Force Ghost

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    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5

    Manipulative, but effective.
    Last edited by instantdeath, Sep 22, 2013
    Random Comments likes this.
  20. DigitalMessiah Chosen One

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    Feb 17, 2004
    star 5
    As for my entry for this book:

    We learn that the Empire has terrible healthcare, while Obi-Wan continues his habit of dictating passwords to Luke.
    Last edited by DigitalMessiah, Sep 22, 2013
  21. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Ghost!Obi-Wan tells Luke (as if in hindsight) that there's an underground city on Yavin with a Jedi Prince named Ken who ends up joining Luke & co while Trioculus turns Xizor and develops a fascination for Leia.
    Charlemagne19 likes this.
  22. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

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    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Ken, a boy raised in a LOST CITY built by the Jedi, escapes from his droid custodians to meet his idol Luke Skywalker while the EVILLLLLL Empire will do nothing to stop his threat--including the ultimate crime of burning down the rainforests!
    Last edited by Charlemagne19, Sep 22, 2013
  23. Revanfan1 Chosen One

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    Jun 3, 2013
    star 5
    The so-called protagonist, Ken, is revealed to be an utterly deplorable antagonist who is extremely annoying, hates droids, and is a general pain in the rear end; meanwhile, we meet a rhyming alien more annoying than Jar Jar or Ken.
  24. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    Tisk tisk, thread overlord for less than a week and I'm already reduced to a shameless bump. If you're trying to drive me out of town, you're gonna have to try a bit harder.
    Random Comments likes this.
  25. DigitalMessiah Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2004
    star 5
    I find it sad that the Jedi Prince series has better cover art than most books published by Del Rey in the past decade or so.
    Lazy Storm Trooper likes this.