Lit One Sentence or Less -- A NEW DAWN

Discussion in 'Literature' started by CooperTFN, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. Parnesius Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2012
    star 1
    The Jedi and assorted hangers-on fight a ridiculously brutal guerrilla war against Abeloth and the Sith for control of the Galactic Alliance while Jagged and Daala contest a comparatively civilised general election for the leadership of the Imperial Remnant.
    CooperTFN likes this.
  2. Jedi Ben Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 1999
    star 6
    Man, with Apocalypse now the focus this thread is well....



    Our shields can't possibly handle this level of snark!
    Intensify forward firepower!
    TOO LATE!
  3. Reveen Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2012
    star 3
    Millions of civilians dying in explosions, hundreds of soldiers and Jedi being ripped apart by Sith, hmmm, baby Barabels going to be killed OH SITH WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING GET IN THE FALCON.
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  4. Gamiel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2012
    star 5
  5. Master Corran Horn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 1
    The one that's supposed to resolve a bunch of stuff but ends up creating a bunch of new crap for no reason at all...just like Ben and Vestara's relationship.
    Last edited by Master Corran Horn, Nov 17, 2013
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  6. DarthJenari Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2011
    star 4
    Del Rey proves once again that they have no idea what they're doing.
    GrandMasterKatarn likes this.
  7. CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 1999
    star 6
    The highest Sith-kill-to-page ratio in the entire franchise, proving that if doing it a couple times isn't exciting, you should do it seven hundred times instead.
    Last edited by CooperTFN, Nov 17, 2013
  8. Todd the Jedi Mod and Sitcom Dad of SWTV

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2008
    star 5
    Saba killing a Force God, Killiks providing crucial exposition, Squibs acting Squibish, and a random forced cameo from the One Sith- definitely a Denning book.
  9. Jeff_Ferguson Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2006
    star 4
    And then Tekli and Lowie providing the exact same exposition for an entire chapter later on in the book. The chapter so nice, he wrote it twice!
  10. DarthRelaxus Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2007
    star 5
    In a horrific turn of events, the Jedi become serial killers; in an even more horrific turn of events....WHY THE **** IS DAALA STILL ALIVE?
  11. CommanderDrenn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2013
    star 4
    A book that had its good moments, but gave you no resolution at all.
  12. Jags_Scoundrel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2003
    star 4
    The Sith cause unimaginable death and destruction on Coruscant, the Jedi are hiding in the Transitory Mists because the GFFA blames them for letting it happen, Abeloth is sort of defeated (for now)... but, hey, there's a wedding, so that counts as a happy ending, right?
    Revanfan1 likes this.
  13. _Catherine_ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2007
    star 4
    Oh my god, is this real? I am loling so hard rn. It's like a villain plot from a Saturday morning cartoon.
    tjace, RC-1991 and Revanfan1 like this.
  14. Revanfan1 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2013
    star 5
    It happened. For realsies.
  15. _Catherine_ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2007
    star 4
    New best SW book.
    Revanfan1 likes this.
  16. Revanfan1 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2013
    star 5
    It reminds me of something that'd happen on G.I. Joe. With, of course, Tomax and Xamot being the news anchors.
  17. Havac Former Moderator

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2005
    star 7
    Yeah. It basically pops up overnight and everyone is like, "Oh, look at this cool new news channel, let's watch this all the time!" And all the anchors are Sith and it's ridiculous hard-core insane propaganda about the Jedi being spice smugglers and Jesus you guys this book could not be worse if it tried.
    lbr789, Grey1, RC-1991 and 2 others like this.
  18. LightsaberAccident Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 26, 2013
    star 1
    The Book Where We Still Don't Find Out Exactly Where Abeloth Originated From
  19. Parnesius Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2012
    star 1
    The Lost Tribe of the Sith would fit pretty much perfectly into Drop the Dead Donkey. The obsession with beauty, utter ruthlessness, superficiality, bitter rivalries, scheming one's way up the ladder, constant humiliating failure...it's perfect. The Lost Tribe are far more suited to this than galactic conquest.

    Actually...I kind of hope someone finds them a quiet little nook somewhere and Evil Sith News remains a small part of the Star Wars universe. If only for the possibility of seeing Sith Gus Hedges.
    Last edited by Parnesius, Nov 18, 2013
    Revanfan1 and Gorefiend like this.
  20. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    Yeah, the GFFA could really use a Fox News equivalent.
    Revanfan1 likes this.
  21. patchworkz7 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2004
    star 4
    I don't have anything to add other than DROP THE DEAD DONKEY was brilliant.

    And I'm to assume that Sith News is basically Fox news in the GFFA?
  22. instantdeath Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2010
    star 5
    Joke stealer you is. Tremble before my ninja skills.
    Last edited by instantdeath, Nov 18, 2013
  23. werpudel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 4, 2008
    star 1
    EU FUBAR
    Last edited by werpudel, Nov 18, 2013
  24. The Compeer Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2013
    star 2
    The thing I find really odious about the spice accusations is that they're basically an admission that the writers can't come up with more legitimate (or legitimate-sounding) charges to slime the Jedi with, which is hilariously depressing when you consider they just overthrew the government maybe two weeks earlier. I mean, that's not just an indication that the writers (or Denning, at least) don't see that as morally wrong, but they can't even imagine it being portrayed in-universe as such. Thank god Denning's busy writing sci-fi/fantasy, because I shudder to imagine what him doing a Clancy-style political thriller would look like.
  25. Shadow Trooper Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2013
    star 4
    Abeloth and her sith minions, Boba Fett, Admiral Dalaa, the Killiks, Darth Krayt and the Mortis Trio all shoehorned into one story together make this book the true end of times crushing all hope of quality post NJO stories.
    Last edited by Shadow Trooper, Nov 18, 2013
    GrandMasterKatarn likes this.