Lit Books Comics A/V One Sentence or Less -- ANDOR (SEASON 1)

Yay!

Wait....real seaweed?

 

Aww, I really wanted to do one about Legacy, but I see the thread has moved on faster than its title...

 

Blame Jello.

Havac wins this round, but guys--try to actually mention the contents of the books, huh?

Unseen Queen.

 

The SW heroes are unable to stop the galaxy from plunging into the most devastating war it's seen in over two decades, as far as the author is aware

 

Better.

 

More bug love while the most experienced Jedi Masters cry and whine like little children when Luke isn't around while the supposed "next-biggest-threat-ever-by-Denning" gears up to fight with some Bothan who thinks he's Thrawn 2.0 and Luke learns more about his father's slide to the dark side with his ROTS DVD

 

Jacen starts his slide into darkness and eventual death, Corran and Kyp have a right set-to, the killer-bugs capture a major GA asset but Leia does manage to get a piece of Alema.

 

Up is down in the GFFA: as it turns out Jaina and Zekk can act stranger, Han and Luke are imprisoned voluntarily, while Leia attempts blockade running in the Falcon, and we see the force used to slow pregnancy and render someone invisible - which is good, because the efforts to preserve Lomi Plo's life were anything but kind to her appearance.

 

The first Star Wars novel that I couldn't bring myself to finish.

 

If you finished the New Jedi Order and thought, "You know, what I really want is for Jacen to start acting evil, Jaina and all the other young Jedi to act stupid because their minds get taken over by bugs, the big three to lurch out of retirement so they can save their children who are older than they were during the OT, the GA and Omas to be treated like villains, and five separate Jar Jars to be introduced -- and then I want the entire setup to be reintroduced and everything just repeated over the course of the second book of the trilogy, now with new characters like Kre'fey unceremoniously dumped in favor of a horribly-written pet 'genius' character," boy, do I ever have the atrociously-conceived, mediocre, repetitious mid-trilogy book for you!

 

The character of Cal Omas is assassinated (in principle, but LOTF will finish the job), Admiral Nek (still love that name) Bwua'tu proves that Gary Stu's are alive and well, the Big Three do some stuff that I vaguely remember, all while massive cockroaches and blue people with red eyes prepare for a BATTLE ROYALE that will end up having no form of any lasting consequences.

--Adm. Nick

 

Han and Leia become Grandparents.

 

The book where we learn these facts: it's okay to join a hive cult that is bent on 'assimilating' another race; that it's okay to keep a Gorog in your room; it's okay to throw your friend against the wall while she is holding her week-old daughter because she didn't think it was a good idea for the Gorog to be in her house; but it's not okay to give a power-hungry, evil, old woman a stroke; a woman who murdered one of her son's, poisoned her daughter-in-law, hired assassins to kill her great-granddaughter, and threatened to kill the reigning Queen.

 

A book about an Unseen Queen that is seen by the end.

 

If I had actually read anything from the post-NJO, I might mention the contents, but I have no interest in the depressing osik that is the post-NJO.

Yet another book I have no interest in reading.

 

Man, when this thing leaves the first page it might as well vanish off the edge of the universe. Anyway, Havac wins. Let's see if he can go 3 for 3.

The Swarm War.

 

A exciting conclusion to a prequel trilogy of novels leading into two action-packed lengthy arcs that represent the best of what sci-fi/fantasy has to offer...

... would be pretty cool to read, but anyways here's another Denning story about giant bugs.

 

Jacen continues to act evil because no one could be bothered to actually read Traitor; Jaina never really stops being mind-controlled by bugs and acting stupid and just sort of stumbles her way to the ending; Han and Leia lumber off to rescue their children for like the eighty-fifth time just this trilogy; Jag gets screwed over for no perceptible reason; everyone knows that Alema doesn't actually die; Mara gets stuffed into a hospital bed so that Luke can freak out over his unresolved issues with his mother's death because this trilogy is full of ROTS for some reason; all the stupid Jar Jars are back; Bwua'tu continues to serve as a warning of what happens when a "genius" character is written by an author who isn't; and Luke becomes Jedi Dictator because all the other Jedi are too stupid and spinelessly sycophantic to function without him or even want to, beats up all the bad people because it is absolutely unacceptable to allow the next-generation protagonists to achieve anything in this trilogy, and after moralizing to Jacen about the ends not justifying the means all trilogy, orders Pellaeon to let a bunch of Chiss die to teach them some vague lesson about how defending yourself against implacable mind-controlling bug invaders with whom it is impossible to reason is wrong -- in short, every single character is viciously diminished, the younger and more important to the future of the franchise, the more so.

 

Hav, I'm surprised you didn't burst a blood vessel waiting four days to be able to post that.

 

Oh, that was all spur of the moment. The one I've been sitting on forever is for Dark Empire. Hint, hint.

 

Noted.

 

So bad I had to call my EU reading friends to rant about how bad it was, only to discover that they, too, had Swarm War-sized dents in their walls. (That may not count, but seriously, it's all I remember.)

 

The thrilling conclusion to the Dark Nest Trilogy in which the Revenge of the Sith flashbacks are the most exciting parts, even though everyone had seen the movie about a hundred times already.