main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Lit One Sentence or Less -- REBELS (SEASON 1)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by CooperTFN, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. CooperTFN

    CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 1999
    Maybe I should be thread Putin and resume control after a nominal period of transferred authority to a lesser, more ineffectual stooge.
     
    Ulicus and Random Comments like this.
  2. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010
    You think there's a lesser, more ineffectual stooge than me out there? Why, I've never felt so complimented in my life.
     
  3. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    The New Republic finally grants people the right to be ruled by a brutal dictators if they want while Luke and Mara accidentally destroy Thrawn's master plan for defeating the Vong.
     
    Thrawn1786 likes this.
  4. CooperTFN

    CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 1999
    ...and that is what happens when no one updates the title.
     
    GrimdarkRose and Random Comments like this.
  5. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    Well it was more.

    "Hey, 1138 reminded me this thread was awesome. I need to post on it!"
     
  6. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010
    I blame Ulicus. He even liked the post in which I announced the new book, but in a feeble attempt to rebel refused to update the title. :mad:
     
  7. Parnesius

    Parnesius Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2012
    Dark Greetings, imperfect one: herein is the tale of the claimant Emperor Trioculus(1), his quest to obtain the titular mitt, and the resulting desperate undersea battle(2) with SPIN's(3) Whaladon-saving do-gooders Luke(4)Skywalker, Threepio(5), Artoo(6) and the Admirable Ackbar(7).

    (1) (the second-most-tackily-named three-eyed mutant in the series)
    (2) (Trioculus came here to prod buttock and eat zoochberries...and he's all out of zoochberries)
    (3) (secretive shadow government but it's the good guys so it's okay)
    (4) 'attack, attack, attack'
    (5) (disguised as a mean, green, Kesselian machine)
    (6) (with the phonetically-rendered dialogue you've all been clamouring for)
    (7) (expert getaway driver, atmosphere-, deep space- and deep sea-qualified chauffeur, marine tour guide and friend to all Whaladons, in his spare time Ackbar likes to oversee the entire war effort against the Empire)
     
  8. CooperTFN

    CooperTFN TFN EU Staff Emeritus star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 1999
    Your cheating knows no bounds, does it?
     
  9. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    A dramatic story of how corrupt politicians use the Power of Myth to place a False Messiah on the throne of the Empire, only to have this story sidelined by Luke Skywalker's concern for saving the whales.
     
  10. DigitalMessiah

    DigitalMessiah Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2004
    I cannot and will not attempt to sum up The Glove of Darth Vader in one sentence.
     
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  11. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    "The worst stain on Star Wars history which goes the extra mile in turning the franchise from a children's series to a childish series and whose very name today is still synonymous with bad."
     
    Revanfan1 likes this.
  12. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010
    I can sum that up in one word or less: party-pooper [face_not_talking]

    (or is that two words?)
     
  13. Parnesius

    Parnesius Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2012
    The new thread overlord liked it.

    Oh, all right. I'll be sensible. New entry.

    If you'd like, a year after Endor,
    to see Luke 'gainst a new contender
    to both Palpatine's throne
    and hammier shouts prone
    than Lando's 'Minions of Xendor';
    if wackiness needs a parader
    writ in the prose of a third-grader
    then you've but to look
    in this most bizarre book
    titled The Glove of Darth Vader!
     
    tjace, krtmd, Ulicus and 4 others like this.
  14. Havac

    Havac Former Moderator star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Without three sentences, this summary could never achieve perfection.
     
  15. Jedi Ben

    Jedi Ben Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 1999
    Arse, beaten to it.
     
  16. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010
    Havac strolls in and takes it the last minute, though if I'm being fair, I suppose I have to award DigitalMessiah some credit as well, since he provided the springboard. First joint victory, or first of many instances of the new thread overlord abusing his power? You decide. Still, I suppose if there can be only one victor, they can always mudwrestle for it.

    I think I'll go the obvious route once more, but switch it up a bit after this one.

    [​IMG]

    Just a heads up: any post that does not include something about the greatness of Ken, the Jedi Prince, will not be getting my like.
     
  17. Todd the Jedi

    Todd the Jedi Mod and Soliloquist of SWTV star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Something something greatness of Ken, something something Jedi Prince, something something Dark Greetings.
     
  18. DigitalMessiah

    DigitalMessiah Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2004
    [​IMG]

    I for one welcome our new power-abusing overlord.
     
    BigAl6ft6, AusStig and instantdeath like this.
  19. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010

    Manipulative, but effective.
     
    Random Comments likes this.
  20. DigitalMessiah

    DigitalMessiah Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2004
    As for my entry for this book:

    We learn that the Empire has terrible healthcare, while Obi-Wan continues his habit of dictating passwords to Luke.
     
  21. SWpants

    SWpants Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Ghost!Obi-Wan tells Luke (as if in hindsight) that there's an underground city on Yavin with a Jedi Prince named Ken who ends up joining Luke & co while Trioculus turns Xizor and develops a fascination for Leia.
     
    Charlemagne19 likes this.
  22. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    Ken, a boy raised in a LOST CITY built by the Jedi, escapes from his droid custodians to meet his idol Luke Skywalker while the EVILLLLLL Empire will do nothing to stop his threat--including the ultimate crime of burning down the rainforests!
     
  23. Revanfan1

    Revanfan1 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2013
    The so-called protagonist, Ken, is revealed to be an utterly deplorable antagonist who is extremely annoying, hates droids, and is a general pain in the rear end; meanwhile, we meet a rhyming alien more annoying than Jar Jar or Ken.
     
  24. instantdeath

    instantdeath Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2010
    Tisk tisk, thread overlord for less than a week and I'm already reduced to a shameless bump. If you're trying to drive me out of town, you're gonna have to try a bit harder.
     
    Random Comments likes this.
  25. DigitalMessiah

    DigitalMessiah Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2004
    I find it sad that the Jedi Prince series has better cover art than most books published by Del Rey in the past decade or so.
     
    Lazy Storm Trooper likes this.