Discussion in 'Literature' started by CooperTFN, Sep 18, 2012.
Han wears a sarong and Luke gets intimate with a computer.
Luke and friends end up getting stuck in Palpatine's Eye where they meet the ghost of a hot Jedi chick who's been stuck in Palpatine's Eye for 30 years, while Leia takes the entire book to figure out that Plawal = Plett's Well.
Luke gets it on with a ghost, the eponymous children of the Jedi raise a continuity issue that requires later explanations, and the introduction of Palpatine's former concubine Roganda Ismaren makes Emperor/Hand canon.
Unlike Manti Te'o's, Luke's relationship with a computer turns out to be a real woman.
Star Wars presents "The Matrix 4 A Love Story "
Luke and a random computer fall in love and create the first cybernet date while Leia can't put together Plawal = Plett's Well and Han goes around saying "the blonde with legs."
Y'know, if you thought this one was bad, wait 'til you get to the two novels that follow it in the so-called "Callista Trilogy."
The Emperor's pretend son traps Leia's mind in a children's toy after she and Han spend a whole book wandering around a valley and giving Denning the idea of having Leia dress like a prostitute all the time, while the Emperor's Hooker . . . uh, Hand, tries to take over the galaxy with a couple backwater aristocrats by activating Palpatine's lamest superweapon yet, only to be foiled by Luke falling in love with a haunted computer.
The one that placed the Clone Wars the same way the prequels did.
The Empire finally runs out of A-list villains and turns to the B-list promptly getting beaten by a computer falling in love... which would be simply tragic, if the Empire hadn't turned back to Daala in the next book, proving they had actually given up and simply wanted to be put out of their misery - which of course the New Republic drags out for another decade of warfare just so they feel good about themselves.
The awesome Senex Lords are introduced and some random force related stuff happens…
Terrible, horrible, terrible.
LORD NYAX' back story with bonus Gamorreans.
Gamorreans in Stormtrooper uniforms.
More than a dozen years, and up until this post I never realized the puerile punifications of this pairing...
One of the strangest of the Expanded Universe novels in which Luke Skywalker takes an existential journey on the wild side with a Jedi stuck inside a computer and we learn that there were more than one Emperor's Hand...Hands...extremeties...out there.
Luke, having passed on his chance to have 'mind blowing, out-of-this-world sex' with Teneniel, (at least, according to Isolder) or even 'incredibly passionate sex' with Gaerial (if Pter is to be believed) leaps at the chance to have...sex(?) with a....ghost...in a machine; forget his turn to the Dark SIde, Luke's dabbling with the computer is THE strangest thing he's ever done.
Please god let us never get a novel about the Emperor's Extremity.
I'm still waiting on Boogers of Death: The Untold Story of the Nostril of Palpatine.
As said above -- you're welcome.
Tale as old as time... true as it can be... barely even friends, then somebody takes over the body of your young Jedi pupil and becomes your girlfriend, unexpectedlyyyyyyyyyyyy.
The RC's have the Ulicus votes!
The book about the character whose death in FotJ was the only enjoyable part of that series.
The only Callista Trilogy book that does not feature Daala.